他妈的!
What the fuck!
发生了什么?
What happened?
你不记得了吗
You don't remember?
我记得你亲了辛迪·弗莱明
I remember you kissing Cindy Flemming.
你们是情侣了吗 还是...
You guys like a couple now, or...
我不是在亲她
I wasn't kissing her.
好吧 我想我昏过去了
Okay, I think I passed out.
因为我做了个非常古怪的梦
'Cause I had this really freaky dream.
这不是梦
It wasn't a dream.
我们吃了我们的朋友
We ate our friends.
我们不可能吃了我们的朋友
Look, there's no way we ate our friends.
没有这样的事
That just doesn't happen.
那你怎么解释我们都被鲜血覆盖的事实呢?
Then how do you explain the fact that we're both covered in blood?
嗯?
Hmm?
还有那边那个死人呢?
Or that dead guy over there?
你需要更多证据吗?
Do you need more proof?
恩
Kinda.
这是在你旁边的地面上找到的
This was on the ground next to you.
我们会红的
You probably could have led with this.
我们是他妈的丧尸诶
We're fucking zombies.
- 什么? -嗯
- What? - Mmm-hmm.
没有!
No!
只有我那疯狂的弟弟才会相信丧尸的存在
The only person that believes in zombies is my crazy brother.
他还认为是外星人沉没了泰坦尼克号♥
And he also believes that aliens sank the Titanic.
哇 那么外星人的太空船是用冰还是什么东西做成的?还是...
Whoa. So the alien spaceship made of ice or something? Or how...
好的 好吧 好吧 好吧
Okay, fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine.
那你怎么解释呢?
Then how would you explain it?
我不知道
I don't know.
我们需要离开这里
We need to get out of here.
我们去哪?
Where are we going?
我们身上满身是血 而且旁边有个死人!
We're covered in blood right next to a dead guy!
有道理
That's a good point.
啊!
Ugh!
我不知道你还会偷车哎
I didn't know you took auto shop.
我爸爸教我的
My dad taught me this.
等等 等等
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
这是我妈开的那种车
This is kind of a mom car.
我们可以偷跑车吗?
Can we steal a sportscar or something?
我们要走了 马上
We need to go, now.
好吧 但是我来开车
All right, fine. But I'm driving.
额 这应该不太难
Well, this shouldn't be too hard.
他似乎不是很聪明
He doesn't seem all that smart.
实际上还有点傻
Kinda goofy actually.
像是那种典型的学校里的小孩 总是出糗 但是他一点也不在乎那种?
You know that kid in school, always made jokes, never gave a shit?
嘿
Hey!
对不起 我知道了 原则一 不要人性化我们的目标
I'm sorry. I know. Rule one, never humanize the target.
那是什么?
What's that?
这是换挡杆 你个白♥痴♥!
It's a stick shift, you idiot!
他刚刚才吃过 所以他的心脏又跳动了起来
He just ate. So his heart's beating again.
但是他很快就会饿的
He'll get hungry again soon.
那时候他可就不像人了
Then he won't seem so fucking human.
我们应该请求支援么?
Should we call for backup?
难道要等到他们再变异之后才抓吗?
After their all-you-can-eat lunchroom orgy?
我可不想错过任何机会
I'm not taking any chances.
哇 哇 警官 别开枪
Whoa, whoa, Officer. Don't shoot.
我说不要开枪 混♥蛋♥
I said don't shoot, asshole.
难怪没人喜欢警♥察♥
No wonder nobody likes cops.
嗷
Ow!
啊
Ah!
你没事吧?
You all right?
哇
Whoa!
嗷
Ow!
你还好吗?
You okay?
他为什么没有吃我?
Why isn't he eating my spleen right now?
嗯...是的
Uh... Yeah.
你呢?
You?
不太好吧?
It's bad, huh?
嗯...
Uh, um...
这样
There.
就没有人会注意到了
No one will notice.
你没看错 我正在整理食人者的连帽衫
That's right. I'm fixing the hoodie of a flesh-eating cannibal.
但他问我是否还好
But he asked if I was okay.
但是活着的正常男孩都从来没有关心过我
Boys who are alive never ask if I'm okay.
把你的眼球塞回去 然后上车
Put your eye back in your head and get in the goddamn car.
来吧!
Come on!
我们是来帮你们的
We're here to help you.
看起来怎么样?
How does it look?
没给我安仿生义肢
Not bionic,
除此之外都还好
but fine otherwise.
-你呢? -不用担心我
- You? - Don't worry about me.
我们需要赶快把这个解决了
We need to shut this down fast.
我听说他们正在准备派阿♥拉♥斯泰尔过来
I heard they're sending Alastaire.
在训练中 我们称他为"令人毛骨悚然的领结先生"
In training we called him Creepy Mr. Bowtie.
千万不要让他听到你这么说
Don't ever let him hear you say that.
还是没有追踪到他们吗?
Still no luck tracking them?
不 这个的力量已经很微弱了
No, the force is no longer strong with Darth Vaper.
我失去了联♥系♥ 停车场里面也没有其他线索
I lost the connection and there was nothing at the parking lot.
也不知道是谁帮助了他们?
And no idea who helped them?
一点头绪都没有
Not a clue.
他 嗯...他刚跟我说话了
He, um... He talked to me.
谁?
Who did?
那个坏死者男孩
The boy necro.
这是我第一次如此亲近一个坏死者
I mean, this is the first time I've ever been so close to one.
他甚至好像在微笑
He even kind of smiled.
可能是因为他看到了他的晚餐
Probably because he saw his dinner.
你到底在想什么
What the hell you thinking?
你应该了解他们的能力
You know what they're capable of.
对不起 我
I'm sorry, I...
来吧 我们还有一整夜的时间来进行善后
Come on. We got a full night of Incident Management.
善后?
Incident Management?
他们为什么不直接点称呼它?
Why don't they just call it what it is?
洗♥脑♥
Brainwashing.
你觉得他们会想要记住吗?
Oh, you think they'd prefer to remember?
你看起来好美
You look amazing.
你...你已经康复了
I mean, you're... You're healed.
有了两只眼睛什么的
Like, two eyes and everything.
你也是
You, too.
卧♥槽♥ 我是金刚狼啊
Motherfucker, I'm Wolverine!
他是X战警之一 他有自愈能力
He's one of the X-Men. He has healing powers.
我知道金刚狼是谁
I know who Wolverine is.
我很迷恋他在《悲惨世界》中的角色
I had a huge crush on him in Les Mis.
可能你是对的
Maybe you're right.
也许我们不是丧尸
Maybe we're not zombies.
也许我们是超级英雄
Maybe we're some superheroes.
但是超级英雄不吃他们的朋友
Superheroes don't eat their friends.
你还记得我们怎么到的这里吗?
Do you remember how we got here?
好像有几个女同带我们到了这
Yeah. I think a couple of lesbians brought us.
你怎么知道他们是女同?
How do you know they were lesbians?
因为其中一个拿着扳手
One of them was carrying a wrench.
你是个白♥痴♥
You're an idiot.
不管你们谁胆敢玩什么阴的
Either of you fucking noobs try anything shady,
我会毫不犹豫地射穿你们的脑袋
I will not hesitate to put an arrow through your brain.
相信我 那样的话你们可就恢复不了了
And believe me, you won't get up from that.
我是夏天 这是格蕾丝
I'm Summer and this is Grace.
嗯...
Uh...
不错啊 你找到我留给你的衣服了
Oh, good. You found the clothing I left you.
嗯 这些应该适合你
Um, and these should fit you.
谢谢
Thanks.
对于我们处理方式 我感到非常抱歉
I am so sorry for the way everything was handled.
但值得庆幸的是我们到的还不算太晚
But thankfully we got to you before it was too late.
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