兄弟的雀巢

是啊 我知道
Yeah, I know.
我懂 不 我开玩笑呢
I know. No, I'm joking. No.
好 那我今晚再打给你
Yeah. I'll... I'll call you tonight.
好的 亲爱的
Alright, my darlin'.
我好得很 那些我一点儿都没吃
No, I'm being good. I haven't eaten any of that.
行 回头再聊
Alright. We'll speak soon.
回见 亲爱的
See you, love.
你为什么要说我们拍了照片
Why did you say we've taken photos
还说你要发给她
and you're gonna send her some?
我们没法发照片 我们没拍
We can't send photos. We haven't got any photos!
没关系 别紧张 她看不到的
It's fine. Don't worry. She'll never see 'em.
没关系的 她失望成习惯了
No, no, no. No, she's used to disappointment.
不用担心
Don't worry about that.
她逼我吃的每一餐我从来都没吃完
Never finished a single fuckin' diet she's put me on.
我会告诉她你删掉了 小事一桩
No, I'll tell her that you deleted 'em. Easy.
我为什么要删掉
Why have I deleted them?
那我删了 行吧
Alright, I deleted them!
有啥好争的嘛 到你了
Does it matter? It's fine. Anyway, you're up.
记住 当你打给苏的时候
So, important thing - when you're talking to Sue,
你要尽可能频繁地说"悉尼"
I want you to say "Sydney" as often as you can.
得把它烙在她脑子里 明白吗
Really burn it into her subconscious, alright?
要记得说"悉尼""悉尼""悉尼"
So, "Sydney, Sydney, Sydney."
你好 是 是我
Oh, hi. It's, um... it's me.
我正在 在悉尼 在悉尼给你打电♥话♥
I'm, um... just calling from, um... from Sydney.
我和 我和J在这
Yeah, so, me and... me and J are here and...
在悉尼这 一切都好
it's all... it's all good in Sydney.
所以 反正 我会
So, um... anyway, I'll, um...
我会在这 在这 在这呆久一点
I'll be here for... for a little bit... little bit longer.
但我会
But I'll, um...
我会
I'll, uh...
只是想打个电♥话♥问个好 所以
Just thought I'd ring and say hi. So, I'll, uh...
所以 对了 跟孩子们问好
Anyway, um... say hi to the kids.
真快
That was quick.
是啊 没打通
Yeah, couldn't get through.
接到她的语♥音♥邮箱了 我就留了个语♥音♥
Went to her voice-mail, so I... just left a message.
你干啥呢
What are you doing?
泰兹
Tez.
我他妈可不是傻瓜
I'm not a fuckin' idiot.
你为什么没打给苏
Why didn't you call Sue?
算了 别问了
You know what? Just forget about it.
不 泰兹 我就得问
Tez, I'm not gonna forget about it. Alright?
如果自杀说不通 悉尼就是不在场证明
Sydney's our alibi if the suicide story doesn't stick.
我知道了 你跟苏又吵架了
Look, you're having a lovers' tiff with Sue. I can see that.
但你得想想你可不能在牢里蹲四十年
Right? But I want you to think about 40 years in jail
所以现在别扭捏了赶紧打
and get the fuck over it and ring her back!
她离开我了 明白吗
She left me, OK?
所以我现在没人可以提供不在场证明
So now I have no alibi that's not...
只有你 老妈和罗杰
you, Mum or Rodger.
满意了吗
Happy now?
为什么
Why?
你为什么没告诉我
Why didn't you tell me?
对你来说重要吗
What does it matter to you?
我本可以帮上忙啊 我也经历过
Well, I could have helped. I've been there.
我知道不太好过
I know it's not easy.
你看起来挺好过的
Well, you sure make it look easy.
是吗
I do?
是
Yes.
听着
Look.
我们不能有任何秘密了 至少现在不行
We can't have any secrets with each other. Not now. Right?
要是自杀被当成谋杀调查
If they investigate the suicide as a murder,
被问话的就不止你我了
they're gonna interview more than just you and me.
老妈 我们的家人 所有人都会被问
They're gonna interview Mum, our families, everyone.
所以要是你离婚的话
And it's gonna look bad if you're
可不太妙啊 更何况我
going through a divorce and I'm...
什么 咋了
What? What?
没什么 你得赶紧跟苏和好
Nothin'. You gotta get it right between you and Sue.
哪怕就好几个月 行吗
Just for a couple of months, right?
她想听啥都说给她听
Tell her whatever the fuck she wants
反正好好伺候她 伙计
to hear. But make it right, mate.
你想让我说谎
You mean lie.
是啊 说谎 拼命说谎
Yeah, lie. Lie your arse off!
这样就能自♥由♥ 要么说出真♥相♥去蹲监狱
And stay free. Or tell the truth and go to prison.
我觉得这个挺好抉择的
Pretty easy option if you ask me.
你也知道 杰夫 我撒谎可差劲了
I'm a shithouse liar, Jeff. You know that.
要么她也不会离开我了
It's why she's leaving me.
你什么意思
What do you mean?
她问过我我还爱不爱她
She asked me if I still love her.
-你说了啥 -说了真话
- What did you tell her? - The truth.
那你为什么要这么说啊
Well, why would you do that?!
因为我撒谎很差劲啊
Because I'm a shithouse liar!
她能一眼看穿我
She can see straight through me.
杰夫 我不爱她 我都不确定我爱没爱过
I don't love her, Jeff. I'm not sure that I ever did.
真的 不太确定
Not... not really.
你在放屁
You know that's bullshit.
我说真的 我这几年都不怎么好过
No, I'm serious! I've been miserable for years.
这我看出来了 显而易见
Oh, I know that. That's obvious.
所以是你早就应该离开她了 她太蛮了
No, you should have left her years ago. She's a bully.
不 我是说你不会说谎是放屁
No, I mean it's bullshit you can't lie.
所有人都会说谎 你只是不想说谎
Anyone can lie. You just didn't want to.
现在跟我说个谎 装得假一点
Look... tell me a lie now. Make it an obvious one.
不 我才不要
No! I don't want to!
我没请求你 我是要求你 对我说谎
I'm not asking you, I'm telling you! Lie to me.
所以 告诉你个很明显的谎话吗
OK, so, tell you an obvious lie?
是
Yeah.
好吧 那
Alright. How about...
我对我们要在这做的事从没后悔过
I'm not having second thoughts about what we're doing here?
或者 我不担心会事情会有变数
Or I'm not worried something's gonna go wrong?
我也不担心我到底能不能下得去手
Or I'm not worried as to whether I can do it?
那说 我不担心我们会被抓
How about... how about I'm not worried we're gonna get caught?
或者说 我一点儿也不想
Or that I'm... not seconds away
立马骑个自行车离开这里
from getting on a bike and getting the fuck out of here?
我说的怎么样
How did I do?
天爷 泰兹 看
Jesus, Tez. Look...
看我 我教你
Watch me. I'll show you.
啥
What?
罗杰
Rodger?
他
He...
不 你骗人的吧
No, you can't be serious.
罗杰死了吗
Rodger's dead?
但是
But...
不可能
But that's impossible.
不 你们肯 你们肯定是认错人了
No, you mu... you must have the wrong man.
那 那他为什么要这么做呢
OK, why would he do it?
因为他的癌症老婆正在医院里奄奄一息了
I mean, his wife's in hospital dying of cancer.
而且他是个基♥督♥徒
I mean, he's a Christian.
他觉得自杀是罪
He thinks suicide's evil.
是懦夫行径
Cowardly.
你怎么做到的
How did you do that?
很容易
It's easy.
我只需要想一想我在牢里
I just imagined myself in prison being arse-fucked
每周四都要被短毛猴和无毛大猩猩操
by Mungo the Hairless Gorilla every Thursday.
这样一想 我做什么都有动力了
It kind of gives me the focus to achieve anything.
泰兹 你得学会怎么说谎
You're gonna have to learn how to lie, Tez.
老妈需要安慰的时候你要怎么做
What are you gonna do when Mum needs comforting?
要是她说 罗杰为什么要这么做
When she's asking you, "Why did Rodger do it?"
你得对她说谎
You're gonna have to lie to her,
全心全意地说谎
and lie to her with all your heart.
我们现在离下一项行程还有十分钟
Now, we've got 10 minutes before the next agenda item.
我劝你趁这会儿练练想象自己蹲监狱
I suggest you use it to practise staying out of prison.
周六的时候 我和我的哥哥杰夫在悉尼
On Saturday, I was in Sydney with my brother, Jeff.