本回家了

And he was like, "Oh, well, you're feeling pretty good, huh?"
我说 "是啊 我觉得我挺诚实的"
I was like, "Yeah, you know, I actually feel like I'm being honest."
然后他说 "如果你诚实
And, well, he said, "If you were honest, Ben,
"你就应该对着镜子
"you'd look in the mirror
对你自己说 '我是个大骗子'"
and say, 'I'm a great big phony.'"
我说 "好吧"
So I was like, "Okay."
"因为 本 你♥他♥妈♥是个瘾君子
"Cause, Ben you're a fucking addict.
"你最不该信你自己说的鬼话
"You're the last person who should believe his own bullshit,
去参加互助会吧"
so get to a meeting."
所以我就来了
So here I am,
戒毒77天
seventy-seven days clean.
已经变得好多了
Some things are better now.
比如我终于不便秘了
Like I can actually take a shit.
没错
Yeah.
更好得是
Even better than that,
我醒来的时候经常晨勃了
I'm waking up more often than not with an erection.
抱歉老妈 是的 我妈也在这
Sorry, mom. Yeah, my mom's here.
我让她遭了很多罪
I've put her through a lot.
今年夏天 她发现我倒在楼梯上
This summer she found me upside down on the stairs
胳膊上插着针头
with a needle in my arm.
还有 我的狗想让我保持清醒
And... with my dog trying to keep me awake.
医生说 如果没有我的狗 我就死了
So... the doctor said that if it weren't for my dog I would be dead.
或者没有我妈的话
And my mom.
没有她 我今天就不会这里
Without her, I wouldn't be here right now in this room.
我对我自己 还有别的人 做过的事
The things that I've done to myself and others...
我不明白 为什么我还在
So I don't, why am I still...
这里
here?
一定有原因的
There's gotta be a reason.
可能是能回来 过好这个圣诞节
Maybe it's to come back and make this Christmas right,
或着这将会是我此生最大的错误
or maybe this is the biggest fucking mistake of my life.
无论如何 我还在这
Anyways, here I am, still here.
谢谢 谢谢你们
So thank you. Thank you for having...
请上帝赐予我们平静
Grant us the serenity
以接受我不能改变的事情
to accept the things we cannot change,
赐予我勇气以改变我能改变的事情
the courage to change the things we can,
赐予我睿智能够区分
and the wisdom to know the difference.
经常回来
Keep coming back.
有志者事竟成
It works if you work it.
本
Ben?
-本 说得很好 亲爱的 -谢谢
- Ben, good job, sweetie. - Thanks.
你回家不是个错误
And you coming back is not a mistake.
你的担♥保♥人比我明智 他也觉得你可以
Someone wiser than me, your sponsor, said you can do this.
是的 没错
Okay. Yeah, that's right.
我觉得有人想跟你聊聊
I think some people want to talk to you.
我就在那边等你
I'll just wait over here.
好
Okay.
伙计 谢谢你的分享 已经过了很久了
Say man, thanks for your share. It's been a long time, you know.
-是的 -真的很有意义
- Yeah. - That really hit home.
-谢谢 -谢谢你
- Thanks, man. - Thank you.
我很喜欢你的分享 很有趣
I loved what you said. You were very funny.
这里没多少有趣的事
There's not enough funny around here.
谢谢
Thanks.
-你是他妈妈吗 -是的
- You're the mom? - Yes, I am.
你能陪着他真的很棒
It's great you came with him.
-希望如此 -真的
- Oh, I hope so. - No,
我戒毒前我妈就去世了
My mom died before I ever got clean.
我愿意付出所有 只要我母亲能
I would have given anything for her
看见我重新振作起来
to see me get my shit together.
当然
I'm sure.
-很难做到的事 -哦 好尴尬
- The hard on thing. - Oh, awkward.
真的 我认真说的
No, It was honest.
遇见一个年轻又火♥辣♥的人挺不错的
And it was amusing that someone young and hot...
该死的
Oh, shit.
-没事的 -我有点脸红了
- Oh, that's okay. - I'm blushing now.
这情况让我有点紧张
That makes me nervous.
你第一次来互助会吗
Is this your first meeting?
-是的 这些对我来说都很新鲜 -是吗
- Yeah. I'm, you know, new to it all. - Yeah?
你应该找个担♥保♥人 最好是女性
Well, you should get a sponsor. It should be a woman.
最好是很严厉的那种
It should be someone really tough
就那种 你犯浑的时候会给你打电♥话♥
who will, you know, call you on your bullshit
担♥保♥人就是这样 你知道的
and it's what it's all about, you know,
严厉且苛刻的诚实
rigorous honesty.
他们就是聊聊天 我们就是这么互相帮助的
Oh, they're just talking program. That's how we help each other.
好的 那没什么需要担心的
Okay. So, nothing to worry about then.
不 我可没那么说
No, I didn't say that.
你不记得了吧
You don't remember, do you?
不记得
No.
你是我的毒贩
You were my dealer.
操 对不起
Oh fuck. Oh, I'm sorry.
不用 没事 我
No, it's fine. I'm...
圣诞节后我就去戒毒所了
I'm going to rehab the day after Christmas.
这就是为什么 我对你的话
So that's why, you know, I related
这么有触动
to so much to what you were saying.
非常激励我
It was very inspiring.
所以
So...
我只是想最后再爽一次
I just want to get high just one last time.
-这很正常 -但我不会的
- That's normal. - I'm not going to though.
很好 别去
Good. Don't.
除非我能跟你一起
Unless I could do it with you.
-圣诞快乐 -圣诞快乐
- Have a good one. - Merry Christmas.
我觉得这个应该可以
I think this one will work.
或者这个
Or this.
他们还有浅蓝色的
And they have it in light blue.
谁穿浅蓝色都好看
Everybody looks good in light blue.
-本 -什么
- Ben? - What?
喜欢哪个
Which?
都好 听你的
Yes. Good.
好 浅蓝的
Okay, light blue.
看起来她要让你把整个店的衣服都试了
Looks like she's gonna have you try on the whole store.
没错
Right.
-谢谢 -没事
- Thank you so much. - Sure.
这些都很衬你的肤色
These will both complement your complexion,
老妈给你的礼物 不用客气
which is a gift from your mother, you're welcome.
-外套给我 -好的 我自己就行
- Coat, please. - Okay, nice. I'm good.
给我
Come on.
裤兜
Pockets.
-太丢人了 -嘘
- This is humiliating. - Shh.
没有
No.
这叫爱
This is love.
好了 换衣服吧
All right, free to go.
你没检查我的鞋
You didn't check my shoes.
这不好笑
That's not funny.
就是个玩笑 妈
It was a joke, Mom.
-本 这不好玩 -妈 我开玩笑的
Ben, it's not funny. Mom, it was a joke.
请问
Excuse me.
能给我这门的钥匙吗
Can I get a key to this door, please?
把门打开 本 现在 本
Unlock the door, Ben, right now. Ben?
把门打开
Open the door.
-靠 -这样不好玩
- Fuck! - This is not funny.
立刻把他妈的门打开
Open this fucking door right now.
本 该死的 把门打开
Ben, God damnit, open this fucking door.
到底怎么了
What is going on?
到底怎么了
What's going on?
怎么了
What?
操 你个蠢货
Fuck, you stupid...
-别 -你从哪拿的
- Hey! - Where did you get this?
-我跟你一直待在一起 -抱歉
- I've been with you the whole time! - Excuse me.
互助会上那个女孩
The girl at the meeting.
-你帮助的那个 -她想要用
- The one that you're helping? - She was going to use...
-所以我拿走了 -麻烦你们离开
- So I took it from her. - I have to ask you to leave.
她会吸的 但是现在她不能了