风铃草（2011）

他来了，能帮我招呼他吗？
That's him. Can you get it?
麦克？
Mike?
谢谢
Thank you.
嘿，呃…米莉在吗？
Hey, is, uh, Milly here?
你是谁？
Who are you?
伍德罗
Woodrow.
嘿 - 嘿
Hey. Hey.
嘿老兄
Hey, there, buddy.
再见
Bye.
你想上哪儿吃？
So where do you want to go eat?
我在想这是我们第一次约会
Well, I was thinking, 'cause it's our first time hanging out,
我觉得该带你去个好地方
I should take you somewhere nice.
得了吧 - 啥？
Uh, yeah. Fuck that. What?
我要你带我去你知道的最便宜，最脏
I want you to take me to the cheapest, nastiest,
最恐怖的地方
scariest place that you know of.
天哪 - 对
Oh, my God. Yeah.
我就喜欢被恶心到
If I don't get sick, I'm gonna be pissed off.
好，好
Okay. Okay.
你知道吗？我倒真知道个去处
Okay. You know what? I think I know somewhere we could go.
好，是哪儿？ - 呃
All right. Where is it? Um,
要横穿差不多大半个国家
it's, like, halfway across the country.
哪里？ - 德克萨斯
What? Where? Texas.
我和艾登有一次公路旅行时停在那里
Uh, me and Aiden stopped there on a road trip.
我们没进去，但那里真够恐怖
Like, we didn't go in, but it was, like, really scary.
那我们走吧
All right. Let's go.
不是吧？ - 没错
Shut up. No.
啥？你不会真想和我一路开到德克萨斯吧？
What? You wouldn't actually drive all the way to Texas with me right now?
那我去，你别去
I would. You wouldn't.
我才不怕，我铁定要去
I am not scared. I will absolutely go.
我也不怕，我要去
I am not scared either. I will go.
好 - 说定了
Fine. All right. It's on.
好 - 好，那我们走
Okay. Okay. Let's go.
好
All right.
这些是给我的吗？
Are those for me? Oh!
对，是给你的
Yes. Here. These are for you.
谢谢，真漂亮
Thank you. That's cute.
不用谢
You're welcome.
这是给你的
Oh, um, this is for you.
是什么？
Oh. What? What is this?
打开看看 - 满满一箱
Just open it. A whole box.
我真的很抱歉昨晚嘲笑你的鞋
I felt really bad the other night when I was making fun of your shoes-
所以我给你买♥♥了双新的
Oh, yeah. ...so I got you some more.
你太好了，天哪
That's really nice of you. Oh, my God.
我知道第一次约会就给你送礼物很点怪，但…
I know it's psycho getting you a present on the first date, but...
约会呀？
Date, huh?
闭嘴，把他们穿上吧
Shut up. Put them on.
对 - 你为什么会来这里？
Yes. Why'd you come here?
因为从威斯康辛来的人就会去加州
Um 'cause California is the place to go when you're from Wisconsin.
确实
Totally.
这都是些什么？
So what is all this?
啊哈
Aha.
从这些迪克西杯里拿一个 - 好
Okay. Take one of those Dixie cups. Okay.
然后放在这个龙头下面
And then put it underneath the spout.
好
Okay.
然后打开座位上的空调给系统加压
And turn on the passenger seat heat to pressurize the system.
然后按下按钮
Okay. And then itjust works by pressing the button.
哦，我的神啊
Oh, my God.
这是什么？
What is it?
看上去很怪？这是威士忌 - 哦，天哪
Does it look weird? It's whiskey. No. Oh, my God.
对，帅吧？
Yeah. Is it awesome?
这安全吗？ - 绝对安全
Is it safe? It's totally safe.
啊！
Aaah!
伙计，这就像
Dude, it's like-
就像是为酒鬼准备的邦德车
It's like a James Bond car for drunks.
这是你造的？
So, you, like, built this?
对，对
Yes. Yes.
好吧
Okay.
我想这相当于一种爱好
It's, like, a hobby, I guess.
那跟我说说喷火器的事
Okay. So tell me about the flamethrower then.
啊，喷火器啊
Ah, the flamethrower.
我和艾登小时候在威斯康辛时
So when me and Aiden were kids in Wisconsin,
我们在电视上看过《疯狂的麦克斯》 - 嗯
we saw Mad Max onTV. Yep.
我们用家用录像带把它录下来
We recorded it on a V.H.S. Tape...
然后看了有上百次
and watched it, like, a hundred times.
我相信 - 然后我们的思想被改造了
Totally. And then our minds got warped,
我们决定无论如何
and we decided that we absolutely had to have...
也要有台属于自己的喷火器…
our own flamethrower...
就像疯狂麦克斯的大个车，能喷火
and, like, a Mad Max muscle car that shoots flames out...
车棚外能有个外接引擎，超吓人的
and has an engine sticking out of the hood and is really scary.
而后…谢谢
And— Thank you.
- 然后，如果世界末日到来 - 对
And then, if and when the apocalypse happens— Right.
我们就可以去统治荒原…
We're set up to rule over the wasteland...
和我们的同伙，美杜莎女王一道
with our gang Mother Medusa.
你知道《疯狂的麦克斯》吧？
You know Mad Max, right?
拜托，我肯定知道，好不好
Yes, I know Mad Max. Come on.
好吧，不好意思
Okay. Sorry.
我总是觉得我比别人更了解它
I think I usually tell it better...
所以我看上去很酷
so I seem cool.
不，这让你看上去超级酷
No. That was perfect to make you seem really cool.
好吧
Okay, good.
我希望我能有天成为名流
I expect to become an honorary member someday.
我们或许可以为此做点什么
We could probably work something out.
如果你肯的话，我就做美杜莎 - 好
A Medusa, if you will. Yes.
真的？ - 真的，等着吧
Yeah? Yeah, we'll see.
很好
Nice.
噢
Oh.
这个给你 - 棒极了
For you. Awesome.
这个给我
And for me.
伍德罗？
Woodrow?
如果你在白人堆里长大
If you grew up with white boys
他们只看黑人和波多黎各人的黄色照片
Who only look at black and Puerto Rican porno
因为他们想要他们父亲没有的东西
'Cause they want something that their dad don't got
然后你就知道该干什么了♪
Then you know where you're at
马上将你的耳洞灌满可♥卡♥因♥
Mortaring your ear holes shut in a rush with wet coke
关在星巴克浴室里♪
In a Starbucks bathroom with the door closed
酩酊大醉，晕头晕脑，我倒在残渣中♪
On booze, I'm left in residue and confused
就像你第一次喝下软水…♪♪
Like the first time you used soft water down—♪
他妈的
Oh, shit.
我得喝杯威士忌再去应付
I need a shot to deal with this.
这是给你的一小杯
Here's a little one for you.
呃…天哪
Uh- Oh, my God!
好大一杯
This is huge.
干杯
Cheers.
怎么样？
Well?
仔细看看这个 - 我吓到了
Check this out. I'm scared.
不错，你完成了任务
That's good. You've done yourjob.
看到这个了吗？
Do you see this?
这条铁轨很特殊吗？
What, the railroad special?
对，整晚都在运作
Yeah. Served all night.
还有隔天的夹肉面包
And day-old meat loaf.
还没烂到一半呢 - 好吧，好吧
That's not half bad at all. Well, well, well.
看谁浸在这美丽的酱汁里了
Look who got dipped in the pretty sauce.
他刚才捏你屁♥股♥了 - 对，没事
Did he just grab your ass? Yes. That's fine.
等等，就一会儿 - 别
Wait. Hold on a second. No.
嘿，伙计
Hey, buddy,
跟她道个歉吧
you gonna apologize to her for that?
- 干嘛这么认真，伙计 - 诶…
- Why don't you take it easy, buddy? - Dude—
嘿，你好像没听见我说话
Hey, I don't think you're listening to me.
我刚是很认真的在跟你说话
I'm dead serious when I'm telling you right now,
如果你不立马向她道歉
I will beat the living fucking shit out of you...