鬼屋大电影

-您有什么紧急情况 -三...三个人
-怎么了 女士 -我杀了三个人
是你杀的吗
我的老二杀的
My dick!
他上当了
He fell for it!
不 我不想干
No, I don't want to.
好 好 我♥干♥
Okay. Okay, I'll do it.
耶 正中靶心
Yeah! That's a shotgun for your ass.
他不见吗 噢 他不见了
Is he gone? Oh, he's gone.
就像刘谦一样
That's that Criss Angel shit right there.
-厉害 -厉害
-Yo, that ghost good. -That ghost good.
-厉害 -厉害
-That ghost good. -That ghost good.
-噢 我的上帝 -怎么了
-Oh, my God. -What?
太棒了
That was awesome!
真恶心
Disgusting!
马尔科姆 醒醒
Malcolm, wake up.
你尿床了
You peed the bed.
怎么了
What?
你尿床了
You peed the bed.
噢 该死 噢
Oh, shit! Oh!
噢 真是...
Oh, that's...
这不好笑
That's not funny.
噢 我靠
Oh, that's fucked up.
我了个大靠
That's real fucked up.
嗨 史蒂夫 谢谢你把显灵板带来
Hey, Steve, thanks a lot for bringing the Ouija board over, man.
-感激不尽 -没必要这么客气 伙计
-I really appreciate that. -Oh, no worries, bro.
-真好 -宝贝
-Hopefully... -Hey, baby.
可以把酒拿来吗
Can you grab the wine?
噢 嘿 姬莎 晚餐太棒了
Oh, hey, Kisha, the dinner was so amazing.
鸡肉真好吃
The chicken was unbelievably tender and real juicy.
噢 其实那是马尔科姆做的
Oh, well, actually, that was all Malcolm.
是吗 当时我就震惊了
Was it now? I'll be damned.
谢谢你把鸡腿让给我 我喜欢深颜色的肉
Well, thanks for letting me nibble on the leg because I love dark meat.
是真的 她吃的精光
Well, that is true. She eats it up.
-我相信 -她都吃了
-I bet she does. -She eats it all up.
是的
Yeah.
你们会喜欢这瓶酒的
You guys are gonna love this wine.
上等红酒
It is a very robust red.
你知道有句俗话
Well, you know what they say.
"果"越黑"汁"越甜
"The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice."
好的 该停下了
Okay, you all need to cut this out.
好吧 你知道么 一般我们没有必要这么拼
Well, you know what? Normally, we don't have to chase this hard.
史蒂夫
Steve...
我说的是那块该死的通灵板
I was talking about that stupid board.
宝贝 我想要与它交流
Baby, I just want to communicate with it.
你是鬼还是魔鬼
Are you a ghost or a demon?
马尔科姆 谁在推
Malcolm. Who's doing that?
我不知道 肯定不是 我向天发誓
I don't know. It's not me. I swear to God.
G
"G."
伙计们
You guys.
O
"O."
-史蒂夫 你在推它吗 -我什么也没干
-Steve, are you pushing this? -I'm not doing anything.
S
"S."
要指向哪
Go where...
T
"T."
"gost"gost是什么鬼东西
A "gost?" What the hell is a "gost"?
噢 也许他想试着拼"鬼"这个词
Oh, maybe he's trying to spell "ghost."
你是想拼"鬼"这个词吗
Are you trying to spell "ghost"?
-你在推 -我没推 我发誓
-You're doing that? -No. I'm not moving it, I swear.
"是的"
"Yes."
等等 他把鬼这个单词拼错了
Wait. So, he just spelled "ghost" "gost."
真是一个文盲幽灵
What kind of illiterate, bitch-ass ghost is this?
拜托 你能用gost造个句吗
Please. Can you please use "gost" in a sentence?
好的
Yeah, right.
你这个愚蠢的gost
Up yours, you stupid "gost."
也许他也有阅读障碍
He probably dyslexic, too.
他也许会把BOOB[奶♥子♥]倒过来拼
He probably spells "boo" O-O-B.
某人太敏感了
Somebody's sensitive.
而且很蠢
And stupid.
你知道吗 我觉得我们该走了
You know what? I think we'll probably just show ourselves out.
2012年8月14日 夜
早安 宝贝
Good morning, honey.
早安
Good morning.
嗨
Hey.
好吧
Well, all right.
宝贝 昨天是我搬过来后睡的最好的一晚了
Baby, that is the best night's sleep I've had since I moved in.
也许是因为你让我睡在别的房♥间了
Well, maybe because you made me sleep in the other room.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
我们昨晚不同以往
We had a breakthrough last night.
不同以往 真的吗
A breakthrough? Really?
是的 马尔科姆
Yes, Malcolm.
你对我爱抚的方式 我们滚床单的姿势
The way that you touched me, caressed me, made love to me.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
马尔科姆 我们昨晚做♥爱♥了
Malcolm, we had sex last night!
不 没有
No, we didn't.
是的 大约做了两个小时
Yes, we did. For about two hours!
噢 肯定不是我
Uh, that definitely wasn't me.
那还会有谁
Well, who else could it have been?
不 放开我
No, get off of me!
噢 亲娘嘞
Oh, my God.
马尔科姆
Malcolm.
什么
What?
噢 新花样
Ooh, that's new.
噢 你在写字吗
Oh. Are you doing the alphabet?
黑鬼 好好舔舔 来
Nigger, clean your plate. Come on.
继续 继续
Slob it down, slob it down.
来 继续干
Waterboarding your ass.
马尔科姆 你变长了
Malcolm. Did you grow?
来骑吧 快来 噢
Ride the pony! Ride it. Oh!
-噢 继续 继续 -受不了了
-Oh! Get it! Get it! Get it! -Oh, I've had it.
深一点 深一点
Oh, yeah! Dip it! Dip it down!
-我看不下去了 -为什么不看完...
-I can't watch. -Why don't I finish up...
我看不下去了
I can't watch anymore.
-真的看不下去了 -快完了
-I just can't watch anymore. -I'll finish.
你怎么没完没了
You ain't done yet.
我还不知道你这么有货
I had no idea you was a squirter.
我也不知道
Neither did I.
-嘿 -别碰我
-Hey. -Don't touch me.
你现在还对我有意见了
You seriously have an attitude with me right now?
-你喜欢它 -什么
-You liked it. -What?
你听到了 你喜欢它
You heard me. You liked it.
你喜欢和那东西做♥爱♥
You like having sex with that thing...
比和我做更享受
more than you like having sex with me.
马尔科姆 我睡熟了
Malcolm, I was asleep.
-嗯 跟我的手说 -我...
-Talk to the hand. -I was...
跟我的手说吧
That's the hand. Talk to it.
我睡熟了 好嘛
I was asleep, okay?
我不知道我在和鬼做♥爱♥
I didn't know I was having sex with a ghost.
你承认你和鬼做♥爱♥了
You just admitted to having sex with a ghost!
而且你喜欢它"噢 马尔科姆 你变长了"
And you liked it! "Oh, Malcolm, you grew."
怎么回事 姬莎
What happened, Kisha?
我满足不了你
I'm not adequate enough for you?
对不起 我试过让它变长的 姬莎
I'm sorry. I tried Extense, Kisha.
我试了很多方法
Went through the whole program.
我嗑过N种春♥药♥
I did Cialis, Viagra and Maca.
-好吧 -吃的我头晕
-Okay. -All it did was get me dizzy.
-你知道...-行了别说了好吗
-You know... -Okay, stop it, all right?
-我才是受害者 -我得了一个月的痔疮
-That is not fair! -I was anally bleeding...
而你一点都不知情
for a month, and you didn't even know.
听着 我才是受害者
Listen, that is not fair,
我才是被侵犯的那个 不是你
because I'm the one who was violated, not you.
对不起
I'm sorry.