鬼屋大电影

对不起 对不起 对不起
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
对你来说一定很痛苦
Must have been a horrific experience for you.
对不起
I'm sorry.
可以更糟的
Could have been worse.
嗨 是你啊 雷雷
Hey, cuz... Ray-Ray.
你现在活的好滋润啊
You got a beef up in here?
好多人啊 不滋润 嘿...
Lots of niggers. Not beef. Hey...
嗨 你丫拍个毛啊 姬莎
Hey, what the fuck is you taping for, Kisha?
我们是混混 不能上电视
We thugs. We can't be on no TV!
闭嘴 雷雷
Shut up, Ray-Ray.
-让开路 -好的 抱歉
-Get the fuck off me. -Okay. Sorry.
那么发生什么事了 老乡
So, what's going on with this beef, homey?
是那个邻居老娘们吗 老乡
It's that old bitch next door, ain't it, homey?
昨晚我爬她家窗台的时候 哥们儿
Yeah, she was eyeballing me, cuz,
她一直盯着我看
when I was all up in her windowsill last night.
但是她身材不错 哥们儿
But she got a nice body, though, cuz.
像土豆一样丰满 老乡
You know, like a sexy-ass baked potato, homey.
不是那样
It's not like that.
丫到底是哪样 老乡
What the fuck is it like, then, homey?
有第三者插足
Well, someone's coming between me and Kisha.
有人睡了你女友 哥们儿
Somebody fucked your girl, cuz?
-不是 -那人该是我才对
-Well, not... -I be the one that fucked your girl!
噢 拜托
Oh, please.
你怎么能让人比我还捷足先登 哥们儿
How you let somebody fuck your girl before me, cuz?
我们可是一家人
We family, nigger!
对不起
I... I'm sorry... Kinda.
那你说他怎么睡姬莎的 老乡
How the fuck do you "kinda" bang Kisha, homey?
他很厉害吗
Did he have one pant leg in, one pant leg out?
他不是真的想睡她吗 老乡
Like, he wasn't even interested in fucking her, homey?
难道他有更好的选择 老乡
Like, he had somewhere better to be, homey?
好的 雷雷 不是你说的那样
Okay, Ray-Ray, that is not what it's like.
你可以叫兄弟们离我远点吗
And can you please tell your Negro to back the hell up off me?
嗨 离她两尺远 老乡
Hey! Pelvis back 2 inches, homey.
但是可以盯着她
But stay up on her, though.
那么到底是怎么回事 姬莎
What the fuck is it like then, Kisha?
如果你愿意听 我会告诉你
If you listen, I'll tell you.
那你说啊
You tell me!
我等不及要抄家伙了
I can't wait to get my hands on this fool.
-出来 小三 -雷雷 别喊了
-Come on out, cuz! -Ray-Ray, cut it out.
你会激怒它的
You're gonna make it mad.
我还什么都没呢 姬莎
I don't give a fuck, Kisha!
他应该担心把雷雷我惹火了 贱♥人♥
He should be worried about making Ray-Ray mad up in here, bitch!
你叫谁贱♥人♥
Who you calling a bitch?
自己出来
Show yourself!
不 雷雷 别那样...
No, Ray, don't do that! Don't...
什么情况
What the fuck is that?
一只鬼 雷雷
A ghost, Ray.
-你是说这样的鬼 -是这样的鬼
-A "ghost" ghost? -A "ghost" ghost.
-死了的鬼 -对 雷雷 我们15分钟之前
-Like a dead ghost? -Yes! Ray-Ray, that's what we've been trying...
就已经在试着跟你说清楚了
to tell you for 15 minutes!
你这白♥痴♥
You idiot.
什么...什么情况
What the... What in the hell...
你的家具呢 哥们儿
What happened to your furniture, cuz?
举起手来 哥们儿
Get your hands up, cuz!
你想害死我 哥们儿
You're trying to get me killed, cuz.
我没有 雷雷 雷雷
I didn't, Ray-Ray! Ray!
上帝
God!
我的家当啊
My stuff!
宝贝 你得承认 真是神乎其技啊
Babe, you got to admit, it's kind of impressive.
香水 嘿
Perfume? Hey!
是的 新买♥♥的 叫"实体"
Yeah, it's new. It's called Entity.
我喜欢
I like it.
你这样要干吗
What's the occasion? What's up?
马尔科姆 睡觉不♥穿♥内♥裤♥
Malcolm, is it a crime to want to sleep...
是犯罪么
with no panties on?
我懂了 这不是为我喷的吧
I get it. This... This ain't for me.
这是为他喷的
This is for him.
你说谁啊
Who are you talking about?
你知道我在说谁
You know exactly who I'm talking about.
你的超自然情人
For your little supernatural lover.
马尔科姆 你这是无理取闹
Malcolm, you're being ridiculous,
我现在就要告诉你
and I'm gonna say this right now.
你这种不安全感 一点都不迷人
Insecurity is not attractive.
是吗 一只鬼能迷人到哪儿去 宝贝
Yeah? Well, being a paranormal jump-off is not attractive either, hon.
晚安
Good night.
-你想太多了 -随便你怎么说
-You're taking this too far. -Whatever.
我对鬼没有兴趣
I have no interest in a ghost.
你还想主动联♥系♥它
You gonna try and contact him?
-晚安 -我是要...
Good night! I was gonna...
晚安
Good night!
2012年8月15日 夜
放开我
Get off of me!
宝贝 嗨
Baby. Hey!
嗨 嗨
Hey. Hey.
你的甜甜圈怎么了
What's... What's up with the donut?
噢 呃 我就是有点犯痔疮了
Oh, uh, I just got a little hemorrhoid, that's all.
-噢 真遗憾 -有点疼
-Oh, I'm sorry. -Hurts.
昨晚发生了什么事情了吗
So, anything happen eventful last night?
不 没什么 还是老样子
No, nothing eventful. Just, you know, the usual.
门砰砰响之类的
Just, like, you know, door slams, stuff like that.
噢 我想看看
Oh. I wanna see.
不 不
Nope, nope.
没什么可看的 宝贝
Nothing for you to see, baby.
等等 宝贝
Wait! Baby!
-能不能...-不要 -真粗鲁 -不要
-Can you... -Stop! -So rude! -Stop!
-嘿 马尔科姆 -不要...
-Hey! Malcolm! -Would you...
-停下...-不要...
-Cut it... -Just gotta do...
-噢 老天爷 -看到了
-Oh, my! -You know what?
你 你被暴菊了
You... You got altar-boyed.
看到了 你别...
You know what? You can't...
马尔科姆 等等
Malcolm, hold on a second.
不 不 不 不 不 你刚刚上传了它
No, no, no, no, no! You just uploaded it!
不 不 不
No, no, no!
噢 不
Oh, no!
你会比"查理咬我的手指"还红的
You're gonna be bigger than Charlie Bit My Finger.
在镜头前问声好
Say hello to the camera.
-你好啊 马尔科姆 -行了 姬莎
-Hello, Malcolm... -Come on, Kisha.
把像机拿开 我现在没心情 停
Get the camera out my face. I'm not in the mood. Stop it!
噢 我懂了 我知道了
Oh, I see. I see.
现在轮到你被天使上了 突然就在镜头前害羞起来了
Now that you've been touched by an angel, suddenly you're camera shy?
让我问你一个问题 姬莎
Let me ask you a question, Kisha.
这是你睡的第一只鬼吗
Is this the first ghost you slept with?
还是被我捉奸的第一只
Or it's the first one I caught you with?
-你需要那么过分吗 -嗯 我需要
-You wanna go there? -Yeah, I wanna go there.
你什么时候成了鬼的充气娃娃
When did you become ghost pussy?
你知道么 马尔科姆
You know what, Malcolm?
如果我身边躺个纯爷们我就不需要鬼了
Maybe I wouldn't need a ghost if I was with a real man!
超级碗广♥告♥都比你时间长
There are Super Bowl ads that last longer than you do!
让我告诉你
Let me tell you something.
超级碗广♥告♥人们可是一等一整年
People wait all year for those Super Bowl ads, baby.
一整年啊
All year!
可能是因为每次看到你裸体
And maybe it's because every time I see you naked,
我想到的就只有你坐在马桶上
all I can think about is you sitting on the toilet,
玩着魔方
playing with a Rubik's Cube!
对不起 姬莎 只是有些事情还是不说的好
I'm sorry, Kisha. Some things just shouldn't be shared.
我卸下心灵的盔甲...
I let my guard down and...
噢 你卸下了盔甲
Oh, you let your guard down.
然后你把它扔回我脸上
you're gonna throw it back in my face?
你杀了我的狗
You killed my dog!
你还记着这事呐
You have not let this go!
对 清清楚楚的