鬼屋大电影

You're lucky.
幸运的女人
You're a lucky, lucky lady.
我要问你一些问题
I'm gonna ask you some questions.
你懂的 没什么难的 就几个简单的
You know, nothing cray. Just real simple stuff.
好 你们已经一起多久
Okay, how long have you guys been together?
-二年了 -对
-Two years. -Yes.
-好 马尔科姆 你开心吗 -开心
Okay, Malcolm, are you happy? Yes.
-喜欢和她在一起吗 -喜欢
-Do you like living with her? -Yes.
-你搞过基没有 -没有
-Have you been with a man? -No.
-万圣节过得怎么样 -很好
-Did you have a good Halloween? -Yes.
-圣诞节呢 -也很好
-Did you have a good Christmas? -Yes.
-你喜欢电影吗 -是的
-Do you like movies? -Yeah.
搞过基没
Have you been with a man?
搞过 没有 啥玩意儿 没有
Yeah... No. What? No!
-复活节呢 -很好
-Did you have a good Easter? -Yes.
-喜欢喝酒吗 -喜欢
-Do you like booze? -Yes.
-你每天吃饭吗 -吃
-Do you eat food every day? -Yes.
你搞过男人吗
Have you been with a man?
搞过 没有 没有
Yes. No, no!
我从不搞基
I've never been with a man.
好 我随便问问罢了 得先了解你
Okay, I'm just asking because I'm just trying to get to know you.
我没搞过基 从没搞过
I've never been with a man. I've never been with a man.
-从没搞过 -你能不能别这么...
-I've never been with a man. -Would you stop being so...
我从没搞过基
I've never been with a man!
好了
Okay!
你不用这么歇斯底里
You don't have to be loud and angry.
我从没搞过基
I've never been with a man!
他老是问我有没有搞过基
He keeps asking me if I've been with a man!
我从没搞过基
I've never been with a man!
好了
Okay.
我想了解你而已 你真没搞过基
I'm trying to get to know you. Have you been with a man?
我睡在床这头
I sleep on this side of the bed.
嗯
Right.
-她睡那头 -了解
-She sleeps there. -Ick.
你看 我们在这儿摆了摄像机
And, you know, we keep the camera right there.
然后有天晚上 我们看到门像这样...
And one night, we saw the door kind of just, like...
哇噢 所以这里出现了超自然现象
Oh, wow. So there was some paranormal over there.
不 她觉得是超自然现象
No, she thinks it's paranormal,
我觉得是风吹的
and I think it's because of the Tornado.
因为是我制♥造♥了气旋
Because I created a vortex.
什么意思
What does that mean?
我们当时在做♥爱♥ 不断碰撞
We was having sex, and I was hitting it.
这样...
I was like...
转着圈搞 我以为...
I was doing this round, and I think the...
-嘿 你没事吧 -抱歉
-Hey, you okay? -Yeah, sorry.
-你还好吧 -我刚才有点头晕
-You all right? -I got light-headed there for a second.
-好吧 -对 我没事 -那就好
-Okay. -Yeah, no, I'm good. -All right.
我检查下门 你知道吗
Check out the door. You know what?
这里有一些暗能量
There is some dark energy over here.
真的假的
Really?
是的 哇 真不可思议
Yeah. Wow, that's crazy.
我还没...噢
I didn't even... Oh!
这有个鬼
We got a ghost.
噢 上帝啊 鬼抓住我了
Oh, my God, it's got me!
鬼抓住我了 鬼抓住我了
It's got me! It's got me!
鬼抓住我了 救命 救命
It's got me! Help! Help!
伙计放开我
Hey, man! Get off of me!
放开我
Oh, man! Get off of me.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
我不知道刚刚发生了什么事
I don't know what just happened.
真可怕
That was so scary.
好的 你们俩 这只是简单的演习
Okay, you guys. This is a simple channeling exercise.
好
Okay.
-真诡异 -嘘
-This is creepy. -Shh.
好的 姬莎 现在呼吸 放松
All right, Kisha, now just breathe. Relax.
你感觉到了什么
Do you feel anything?
没有
No, not really.
你呢 马尔科姆
What about you, Malcolm?
只感觉到你小♥弟♥弟♥顶在我后面
Just your dick in my back.
好吧 那只是一个开始
Well, that's a start.
目前有善恶两种超自然力量
Now, there are two kinds of paranormal entities.
我专门研究善良的那一种
I specialize in the good ones.
噢 是的 比如淘气小精灵
Okay, yeah, like Casper the Friendly Ghost.
是的 很有趣
Oh! Yeah, he's fun.
还有像《人鬼情未了》里的帕特里克·斯威兹
And also Patrick Swayze from Ghost.
我喜欢那电影
I love that movie.
是的 那才是电影
Yes, that one was really moving.
尤其是他做陶艺那场戏
Especially with the clay, and he'd work the clay and just...
他就这样搓着...
And he just fucking has it, and...
魔鬼很坏
Demons, though, are bad.
他们是纯粹的邪恶体
Those are pure, pure, pure evil.
他们会突然现身
And they will pop up at the worst possible times.
像疱疹一样[妇科病&皮肤病]
You know, like herpes.
什么
What?
看我♥干♥嘛
What are you looking at me for?
我只想说 不要激怒魔鬼
All I'm saying is, do not aggravate a demon.
不要试着接触他们
Do not try to contact them,
不管你们做什么 不要试图拍射他们
and whatever you do, do not film them.
那只会更糟
That will only make things worse.
-看吧 -不要拍他们
-See? -Don't film demons.
-很糟 -好的
-Very bad. -Okay.
十分感谢你的到来 伙计
Well, thanks a lot for coming out, man.
你还有什么东西想从胸口上弄掉吗
Is there anything you wanna get off your chest?
不了 我很好
No, I'm good.
那你还有什么东西想涂在我胸口上吗
Is there anything you want to put on my chest?
-啊 -等你看过那场做陶艺的戏...
-Huh? -Wait'll you see the clay scene...
等等 呃...
Wait, wait. Uh...
我要忏悔
I have a confession to make.
果然得了疱疹 我就知道
Yep, herpes! I knew it.
-噢 恶心 -不 我没有得疱疹
-Oh! Ick! -No, I don't!
但是为了一双很棒的高跟鞋
But did I mention that I made a deal with the devil...
我曾和魔鬼做过交易
for a pair of really cool Louboutins?
你为了一双鞋和魔鬼做交易
You made a deal with the devil for a pair of shoes?
不是普通鞋子 马尔科姆 是鲁布托 名牌
Not shoes, Malcolm! Louboutins, okay?
红鞋底 能让我的小腿更显眼
They've got red soles, and they make my calves pop!
我当时真的很想要的 好吧
Well, I really needed them, okay?
你有麻烦了 妹子
You are screwed, sista,
大♥麻♥烦
with an "A."
这个魔鬼在得到想要的东西之前是不会离开的
This demon is not leaving this house until it gets what it wants.
它要什么
What's that?
姬莎
Kisha.
你不会有事 马尔科姆
You're fine, Malcolm.
你是自♥由♥的
Like, you're free to be whoever you want.
这是五人的格斗联盟
It's a five-man wrestling league.
我很好
I'm good.
这很有趣
It's so fun.
我想也是 只是不合适我
I bet it is. It's not for me.
-大家都很会玩 -是吗
-And everyone's really good. -Really?
是的 不 毕竟带点竞争性
Yeah, no, but it's competitive.
就像是...
It's something that...
噢 我的上帝 我收到了心灵感应
Oh, my God. I'm getting mind powers.
好 好 我港得到了感应
Okay. All right. I'm getting mind powers.
马尔科姆 有事要发生在你身上
Malcolm, something is going to happen to you
那会改变你
that is going to change you.
不要抗拒
Don't fight it.
不管是什么 不要抗拒 好吗
Whatever it is, don't fight it, okay?
-好 我不会 -我能救你
-Okay, I won't. I won't. -I can save you.
有五个人 我们周一摔跤
It's five guys. We wrestle on Monday.
好的
Okay.
-我能救你 -不 谢谢你
-I can save you. -No, thank you.
救你