纽约两日情（2012）

妈妈和爸爸决定把你生下来
Mommy and Daddy decided to have you.
其实也由不得我们 大势所趋
Well, we didn't really decide. It just happened.
你出生的时候 我们被幸福所包围
When you were born, we were very happy.
现在依然如此
And we still are.
但幸福不再被共享
But separately.
爸爸和妈妈有了各自的公♥寓♥
Daddy has his apartment and Mommy has her apartment.
爸爸随时都能来看露露
And Daddy can see Lulu whenever he wants.
一切都很好
Everything is great.
外公要来看你了
Now your grandpa is coming to visit
你可得逗他开心
and you have to be very cuddly with him
因为不久之前
because not long ago
外婆刚刚去了天堂
Granny flew away into the sky.
所以外公十分孤单失落
And now Papi is sad and lonely.
不过罗斯姑姑也会来
But Auntie Rose is coming, too.
我们会开派对 派对 派对
It's going to be a party! Party! Party! Party! Party!
六天以来
Today marks the sixth consecutive
一个自称橡树精灵的男子
day the man that calls himself the Oak Fairy
一直盘踞在中♥央♥公园最古老的橡树上
remains perched and tied to the oldest oak tree in Central Park,
他声称如果政♥府♥不能向他保证这棵树
refusing to come down until officials bring him written proof
不会被砍掉 那么他就拒绝下来
the tree will not be cut down.
布隆伯格市长办公室还未对此事表态
No news yet from Mayor Bloomberg's office.
我们会继续跟进...
We'll keep you posted as...
至死保护橡树
Save the trees or die!
拯救橡树 拯救橡树 我不会下来的
Save the trees! Save the trees! I will not come down.
我是橡树精灵 我有话对整个纽约说
I'm the Oak Fairy and I have a message for New York.
如果我在这能做到 在哪都没问题
If I can do it here, I can do it anywhere.
现在就看你们的了 纽约
It's up to you, New York.
该去自己床上睡觉了
Time you got in your own bed.
我带了五个月的口粮
I have provisions for five months
还带了能把雪变成饮用水的设备
and I have a device here that can turn snow into drinking water.
-我们爱你 -我不会下去的
- We love you! - I will not come down!
我们飞吧
Let's fly!
-真搞笑 -什么
- It's funny. - Oh, what?
我总感觉孩子不在床上的时候
I always feel way more comfortable
做起爱来更爽
having sex without the kids in bed.
-我也是 感觉很不着调 -是很扯
- Me, too. It's crazy. - It's crazy.
-我也不知道为什么 很诡异 -着实诡异
- It's so weird. I don't know why. - It's so weird.
-可以玩各种花样 -他们有点碍事
- We can do all sorts of shit. - They're kind of in the way.
我得接一下
I need to take this.
估计是我爸 还真是他
It's probably my dad. It is my dad.
真是个老小孩
He's a big boy.
爸爸
我没喘不过气
我们有6个小时时差
赶快再去睡一会儿吧
然后去吃早餐...
好吧 飞机上会有早饭的
别再打给我了 我要睡觉了 爱你
他已经起了
OK. He's already up.
这个星期事情也太多了吧
Maybe this is a little too much this week.
你的家人要来
You've got your family coming to visit,
你要办展览 还要卖♥♥你的灵魂啊
your exhibit, you're selling your soul...
宝贝多谢你的关心 但我很想让老爸来
You're so sweet to worry about me but I want my dad to be here
这对我很重要
because it's very important for me.
这是我许多年来最大的展览
It's my biggest exhibit in years.
我只想让你开心
I just want what's best for you.
-你知道什么能让我开心吗 -什么
- Know what's best for me? - What?
我想让他们见见我超可爱的小考拉
I really want them to meet my sweet, sweet, little koala bear.
谁才是我最可爱的小考拉呢
Who's my sweet, little koala bear?
-必须得说才能尝到甜头吗 -恩 快说
- Is that what I have to say to get laid? - Yes. Say it. Say it.
我就是你的小考拉 对吗
I have to say I'm your koala bear?
没错 你知道考拉都干什么吗
Yes. You know what koala bears do?
他们在树上爬上爬下
They go up and down the trees.
地上有团毛 宝贝
No, no. It's a fur ball, sweetie.
我得去清理一下
No, I gotta take care of that.
上次露露把那脏东西吃了
It's... last time, Lulu ate it. I can't.
还有你总戴着眼镜就下去了
Plus you're always going down on me
搞得我很不舒服
with the glasses. It's weird.
我正要摘了它
I know. I was gonna take 'em off.
我来补充一下
Let me fill you in.
我和明戈斯是通过他姐姐伊丽莎白认识的
I met Mingus through his sister Elizabeth,
他姐姐从我来纽约以来一直是我的好朋友
who's been my friend ever since I moved to New York.
几年前 明戈斯和我
A few years ago, Mingus and I
一起在乡村声音工作
ended up working together at the Village Voice.
那时露露差不多8个月大
Lulu was about eight months old
而我和杰克的关系也越来越糟
and things had started to get sort of... messy with Jack.
就在那时 明戈斯成了我的知己
Around that time, Mingus became my confidant of sorts.
如果我离开他会怎样
What's gonna happen to me if I leave him?
听着 如果事情到了无法挽回的地步就放手
Hey, when things go bad, it's best to just walk.
我放过两次手 从没后悔过
I walked twice and didn't regret it.
不过你是男人 对你来说很容易
But you're a man. It's much easier for you.
现在谁还会要我 我都快38了
Who's gonna want me? OK? I'm gonna be 38.
-又肥又不招人喜欢 -但你是法国人
- I'm fat and a pain in the ass. - But you're French.
我有个孩子 现在还尿失禁
I have a kid. I'm struggling with incontinence.
别告诉别人
OK? Don't tell anyone.
我都不敢打喷嚏 不过我正在慢慢锻炼
I can't even sneeze. But I'm doing my exercise. OK?
我憋着尿呢 憋尿走天涯
I'm squeezing right now. I'm squeezing everywhere I go.
照照片的时候也要憋
When I'm taking pictures.
每时每刻都在憋 现在就在憋
I'm squeezing all the time. Right now I am.
憋呀 憋呀 憋呀 憋呀 憋 呀...
Squeezing, squeezing, squeezing, squeezing, squeezing, squeezing.
现在放松一下
OK. I'm letting go.
又开始憋了
I'm squeezing again.
憋这 憋那 憋老娘一生啊
Squeezing, squeezing. I'm squeezing all the time.
实话实话 我们的感情结束了
Let's face it, my love life is over.
37岁了 我们已经有一年没有性生活了
37. We haven't had sex in one year.
-不是吧 -给他吹他都不要
- Get outta here! - He doesn't even want a blow job.
那可是我的绝活儿
It was my specialty.
他到底是谁啊 你太惨了 振作点儿
Who is this guy? You're fucked, man. Just go pump.
我知道 得走了 太难受了
I know. I gotta go. Oh, it hurts.
-振作点 -是啊 我得振作起来
- Pump. - Yeah, I gotta pump.
好吧 摄影的时候见 真伤感
OK. I'll see you at the photo shoot. I'm so sad.
-别这样 法国美女 会没事儿的 -没戏了
- Come on, Frenchie. You're gonna be good. - It's over.
我了解你 你会强势反弹的
I've known you a while. You'll bounce back.
-像大肉球一样吗 -大大的沙滩球那样
- You mean like a big ball? - Like a big beach ball.
他恨我 他恨我
He hates me. He hates me. He hates me.
擤吧
Come on, blow.
而我这个带着孩子的大肉球
And the post-baby big
最终弹进了他的怀中
ball that I was bounced right into his arms.
是因为怜悯吗 还是真爱
Was it pity? Was it love?
或是我无意流出的有关口♥活♥犀利的话语
Was it my innocent comment about blow jobs?
我将永远不得而知
I'll never be sure.
我只知道六个月后
All I know is that six months later,
我带着孩子和明戈斯一起住了
baby in hand, I was moving in with Mingus.
目前一切都很好 一切从未如此完美
And so far, so good. Actually, things have never been better.
在古老的德兰西街
On old Delancey Street, you know
纽约两日情
地铁令我们沉醉
The subway charms us so
微风带着芬芳徐徐吹来
When balmy breezes blow
来来回♥回♥
To and fro
是巴黎来的航♥班♥吗
-还有人吗 -你怎么知道我是从法国来的
玛丽恩
-怎么最后才出来 -爸爸被海关扣了
就这些吗
Is that it?
还有我没看的地方吗 先生
Do I need to look anywhere else, sir?
这是什么鬼东西
What the hell is this thing?
你觉得带着十跟香肠八块奶酪不会被发现吗
你♥爸♥爸是个英雄
-他怎么来了 -他自己要来的
-你们在一起了吗 -只是瞎混
-那还是在一起瞎混 -是啊
多么美丽的城市啊
再次激发了我的诗意
啊 纽约 我们终于到了
Oh, New York, we made it, baby! We made it!
如果我们能到纽约 就能走遍世界
If we can make it here, we can make it anywhere!
电梯总是出毛病
看看谁来了
Hey! Look who's here!
-国际香肠走私贩 -明戈斯
- International sausage smugglers! - Oh, Mingus!
简诺特 简诺特
Jeannot! Jeannot.
-很高兴见到你 -亲一个
- Pleased to meet you. - Kiss!