IT狂人（2006）

伙计们 我有个好主意
Guys, I've got a great idea.
我们可以找爷爷奶奶来拍这组日历
Why don't we all ask our grans to do the calendar?
真是个好主意
That is a great idea!
纳丁 你可真是会奇思妙想啊
Oh, Nadine, you are so full of ideas.
但是 咱能等一下吗
But can I... Hold on one second.
我们的主题是什么来着
What's our theme? Isn't our theme
不是"七楼佳丽"吗
"Girls of the 7th floor"?
那可是个很有卖♥♥点的主题啊
That was a very strong theme.
是啊 罗伊 不过现在我们的主题
Yes, Roy, but now the theme
可以改为"七楼佳丽的爷爷奶奶们"
can be "Grans of the girls of the 7th floor".
太棒了 我可不想给那些老头老太照相
Oh, yeah... I don't want to take photos of grannies.
这是很不错的点子 罗伊
This could do very well, Roy.
这才是善举啊 就像海伦·米伦那样
This could be tasteful. Like the one Helen Mirren did.
年长的女性 用盆栽植物
Old ladies, pot plants
遮挡住关键部位 你懂的
covering their bits -you know the sort of thing.
一个老少皆宜的性趣日历
An erotic calendar the whole family could enjoy.
罗伊 你不能现在退出啊
Roy, you can't drop out now.
道格拉斯都租好摄影棚了
Douglas has paid for the studio time.
-真的吗 -他对这个计划很感兴趣
-What? Has he? -Yeah. He's very interested in this project.
我不得不说
And I just have to say how
我发现这整件事 真的太让人感动了
I'm finding this whole thing just... so moving,
很多男同事都很支持这个日历的拍摄工作
how so many men have shown interest and support for the calendar.
我是说 人们都很关心斗鸡眼患者
I mean, people really do care about the boss-eyeds.
罗伊 你现在不能退出啊
Roy... you can't drop out now.
我没看错你 对吧 罗伊
I wasn't... wrong about you, was I, Roy?
我觉得你很特别
I thought you were special.
我的确很特别
I am.
我超特别的 那个
I'm so special. I... No... I...
咱们开工吧 咱们去给爷爷奶奶拍裸照吧
Let's do it! Let's go round up those grans!
谢谢你 谢谢
Thank you! Oh, thank you!
小菜一碟
That's OK.
我们可以找个专业的摄影师
You know, we could just get a proper photographer.
-不 我乐意效劳 -好吧
- Oh, no, I'm happy to do it. - OK.
-进行的怎么样了 -出师不利
- How's it going? - Not a great start, I have to say.
七楼的姑娘中
Of all the girls on seven,
只有九个姑娘的爷爷奶奶还健在
only nine have grans that are still alive.
其中一个人在拍摄那天
Of that nine, one is having a...
要做个髋关节置换手术
hip replacement on the day of the shoot,
还有一个貌似得了老年痴呆
one is a little... senile and may not know what's happening...
最后一位 有一只手臂坏死了
and the last one... the last one has a gangrenous arm.
但是她还是坚持要做模特
But she still wants to do it.
我现在要做的就是上街去
So all I have to do now is hit the
找六个素不相识的
streets and find six old women that I've never met
乐意脱♥光♥衣服
who'd be happy to take all their
让我为她们拍照的老女人
clothes off and let me take photographs of them.
你干嘛非要这样做
Why are you doing this?
因为我想找个女人上♥床♥啊 小珍珍
Same reason I do everything, Jen - to have sex with a lady.
什么
What?
我说"你想做裸体日历的模特吗"
I said, "Do you want to be in a nude calendar?"
-我想要日历吗 -不是啦
- Do I want a calendar? - No, no. No.
你想要
Do you... want...
成为
to do...
裸体日历的模特吗
a nude calendar?
-为了慈善事业 -慈善啊
- For charity. - Oh, for charity!
可以啊 我要了 多少钱呢
Oh, well, in that case, yes, I'll take it. How much is it?
不 不是啦
No, no, no. No, no. No.
你想不想做日历的模特
Do you want to do a calendar?
但是医生已经换了我的导尿管啦
But the doctor's already changed my catheter.
不是那意思
No, no... No.
我想让你脱♥光♥衣服
I need you... to take all your clothes off...
然后让我来为你拍照
and have me take photographs of you.
真没想到你们还记得老妈的生日
Oh, you remembered your old mum's birthday.
你好 IT部
I.T.?
你好啊 珍 如果这个日历
Jen, hi. I just wanted you to know
筹不到一百万英镑
if this calendar doesn't make a million pounds,
我要你负全责
I'm holding you responsible.
什么 这太不公平了
What?! That's not very fair.
可惜在这个疯狂的年代
I'm sad to say that the only
想搞个骑士爵位就只能做慈善
secure route to a knighthood in this sorry age is via charity work.
瑞农先生 你不能这么做 那不是我的主意
You can't do that, Mr. Reynholm. It wasn't my idea.
不管 主意是你们部门出的
Nonetheless. The idea came from your department,
作为部门主管 你得担起责任
and as head of the department it's your nuts on the block.
-瑞农先生 -别担心 珍
- Oh, Mr Reynholm... - Don't worry, Jen.
尽量拍的性感点 你就坐等收钱吧
Just make it as sexy as hell and watch the money pour in.
性感 性感 性性感 越翻越性感
Sexy, sexy, sexy. Every page sexier than the last.
瑞农先生
Mr Reynholm...
爷爷奶奶可不性感 那玩意可赚不到钱
Oh, grans... Grans aren't sexy. That's not gonna make any money.
这世道黑的唠
What kind of society are we living in?!
-怎么了 -很明显 我们的社会
-What? -Apparently we live in the kind of society
把一位想要给
that sees a man who just
老太太拍裸照的人
wants to take naked photos of some old ladies
当成了变♥态♥狂
as some sort of weirdo!
他被追赶
Who deserves to be chased
被辱骂 被虐打 然后再追赶...
and shouted at and beaten... and chased...
-你说了是为斗鸡眼患者做慈善了吗 -当然
-Did you tell them it's for the boss-eyeds? -Oh, I did, I did.
我一字不落的告诉他们了 珍
I did tell them that, Jen,
然后你知道发生了什么吗 他们嘲笑我
and you know what happened? They just laughed at me.
什么
What?
他们嘲笑我 珍
They just laughed at me, Jen.
他们根本不关心斗鸡眼患者
They don't care about the boss-eyeds.
等等 罗伊 知道吗
Wait, Roy. You know what?
也许我们得换个主题
Maybe we should rethink the theme a little bit.
"七楼佳丽的爷爷奶奶们"
"Grans of the girls of the 7th floor"
这标题太雷了
It's such a mouthful.
我们还是换回"七楼佳丽"算了
Why don't we just bring it back to "Girls of the 7th floor"?
-你说那有性别歧视 -放屁 那样才能卖♥♥钱好吗
- You said it was sexist. - Oh, ppfftt! It's empowering!
性别歧视? 你也太假正经了吧
Sexist! How dare you be so patronising?
你也乐在其中 不是吗 罗伊
And you'd enjoy it, Roy. Yeah,
你也想拍那照片 不是吗
you'd love to take those photos, wouldn't you?
你最喜欢拍裸照了
You'd enjoy taking those photos.
肯定是这样 爱不释手啊有没有
I bet you would. You'd enjoy that a lot more.
你知道我在说什么吧 对吧 对吧 对吧
D'you know what I'm talking about? Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh?
-我不知道 珍 -得了吧你
- I don't know, Jen. - Oh, come on!
不 我觉得金伯莉不会同意的
No, no. I don't think Kimberly would like it.
我可不想一失足成千古恨 这次不能再搞砸了
And I don't want to make any wrong moves. I cannot blow this one.
金伯莉是我心中的女神
Kimberly is the best thing that ever happened to me,
虽然只是我一厢情愿
and she hasn't happened to me yet.
拍老头老太的裸照可赚不到钱啊
We are not gonna make any money with grannies.
我回来了
I'm back!
-啥 什么意思 -我回来了 度假回来了
- What? What do you mean? - I'm back. From holiday.
-你去度假了? -是啊 我去度假了
- You were on holiday? - Yes, I was on holiday.
-没错 -对对对
- Oh, that's right... - Yes, yes, yes...
你们不知道我去度假了吗
You didn't know I was on holiday?
不 我们知道 你去哪度假了?
No, no, no, we did. Where did you go?
你果然不知道我去度假了
You didn't know I was on holiday!
我们知道啊 我们都想死你了
Oh, we did, we did... We missed you.
我都一周没来上班了
I've been gone a week!
-一周? -天呐
- A week?! - Wow!
干嘛
What?
-你知道当代最流行什么吗 -不知道
- You know what's very in at the moment? - I don't.
书呆子 就是你这种人
Geeks. You lot.
呆哩吧唧的 呆子什么的最潮了
The whole nerd thing. Geek chic. It's very in.
然后呢
So?
一本庆祝科学成就的日历?
So it's a calendar that celebrates scientific achievement?
-没错 -是该庆祝了
- That's right. - About time!
把它看做一次机会
Think of it as an opportunity
来扮演科学史上你们最爱的时刻
to re-enact all of your favourite moments from the history of science.
还有数学史
And maths?
-还有数学史 -太棒了
- And maths. - Yes!
抱歉 接个电♥话♥
Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me.