IT狂人（2006）

写的怎么样呀
How's that going?
很好极好非常好
Good,good,good,good,good,good.
我刚刚想到
You know,I was thinking...
你们有没有什么想说的
if there's anything you guys want to say,
我可以写进去 这不是问题
I can put it in, it's no problem.
哎哟 真有意思哇
Oh! Oh,yeah. Hm,interesting.
莫斯 你有没有什么
Erm, is there anything
想在股东大会上说的呢
you'd like to say to the shareholders, Moss?
-说嗨 -替我们问个好就行
- Just say hi. - Say hi from us.
好的
OK.
真爽
I love this.
她进进出出多少次了啊
How many more times is she going to come in?
也许你们来写这篇演讲会更好
Maybe it'd be a good idea if you two contributed to this.
为啥子哟
Oh,yeah? Why?
我觉得 给公众人物写演讲稿
I think it would give you
对你们来说是一次锻炼机会
experience in writing a speech for a public figure.
这对我们这种专业人士来说是小菜一碟
Well, obviously, in our line of work that would be handy.
但是真不好意思哦 我忙得很呢
But you know what, Jen? I'm actually snowed under here.
等等 等等
Wait a second. Wait a second!
-我♥干♥了什么啊 -咋了
- Oh! Oh,what are we doing?! - Huh?
-我们应该写那篇演讲稿的 -为啥
- We should totally write that speech! - Why?
-我们要主动帮珍写 -不要
- OK, offer to write the speech for Jen. - No.
如果我主动提出来 她肯定有所察觉
She'll know something's up if I do it.
-必须由你跟她说 -凭什么
- You have to do it. - Why would I do that?
-莫斯 你相信我吗 -不
- Moss,do you trust me? - No.
-你相不相信我 -不
- Do you trust me? - No.
如果你相信我就主动帮她写
If you trust me, then offer to write that speech.
我不相信你
I. Don't. Trust. You.
喂
Hello?
写演讲稿真有意思 讨厌死了
I feel really bad,having all the fun writing this speech.
快说 快说 快说说说
Do it. Offer,offer,offer.
我们想帮你写那篇演讲稿
Well,I suppose we could write the speech
这样子的话
so that,you know,you
你就不会支支吾吾出岔子了
look like you know what you're talking about.
谢啦 我去吃午饭了 写好放我桌上
Thanks. I'm off for lunch. Leave it on my desk.
我的亲娘啊
My God!
我了解
I know.
太有才了
That's brilliant!
现在你明白
So now you understand
我们为嘛要帮她写了吧
why we have to write that speech for Jen.
我们写啥她都会说
She will say anything we tell her to.
我们写啥她都会说
She will say anything we tell her to.
就算我们把演讲稿写成一坨屎
We can put any old bollocks in that speech,
她也会照念不误
and she shall repeat it.
她一定会出大糗的
It's going to be hilarious.
有时我真想亲吻你的脑袋呀
Sometimes I could kiss your mind, Roy!
行 那我们现在就来
OK,so let's just... I don't know,
想点主意吧
let's just throw around a few ideas.
-开始吧 -好的
- OK,let's do it. - OK.
对了 我们能告诉她
Ooh! Could we tell her
每台苹果机里都藏着一只苹果吗
that there's an apple inside every Apple Mac?
-好主意 -看吧
- It's good. - Yeah.
我们可以说比尔·盖茨姓盖茨
We could say that Bill Gates is called Bill Gates
是因为他家有很多门[gate亦为门之意]
because he owns a lot of gates.
说的好 虽然还不够荒唐
Hm! That's good. It's not quite punchy enough.
但现在听起来也差不多了
And it's probably true now
我猜他家现在的确有很多门吧
anyway - I'll bet he does own a lot of gates.
很有可能哦
He probably does.
一定得荒唐至极才行
It's got to be something big.
哎呀 我想到了
I think I may have it.
啥
What?
罗伊 最好给你的耳朵系好安全带
You best put seatbelts on your ears,Roy,
因为哥可要带它们爽一把了
cos I'm going to take them for the ride of their lives.
-真有意思啊 -不 是你太二了
- Delightful. - Oh,no,no,no. You're silly.
知道吗 我从未
Do you know,I've never
对一个女人如此着迷
been so enchanted by a woman in all my life.
你叫啥来着 我记得你说过的
What's your name again? I know you told me.
-爱珀尔 -好名字呀
- April. - Ah,what a charming name.
一直都是我最喜欢的名字之一
Always been one of my favourites.
爱珀尔 晚餐后能否赏光
April... after dinner,would
陪我床上一游
you do me the honour of accompanying me to my bed?
-这... -我话太多了
- Oh. Erm... - No, I've said too much!
我一激动就管不住自己的嘴
I've let my heart overpower my head, which is my wont.
但我不在乎 你太迷人了
But I don't care. I find you enchanting.
厕所有卖♥♥安全套 我确认过了
And there's a condom machine in the toilet. I've checked.
我真是受宠若惊 道格拉斯 不过
I'm very flattered, Douglas, but, erm...
有个事我得和你说下
There's a problem, something I should tell you.
-说啊 -就是...
- Go on. - Erm...
我 我有个秘密
I- I have a secret.
一般人我不告诉他
I could dance around the subject,
但我不想骗你
but I like you, Douglas. I want to be straight with you.
什么
Oh?
我以前是男的 道格拉斯
Erm... I used to be a man, Douglas.
我说我以前是个男人
I used to be a man.
虽然这事难以启齿
I wish there was an easier way of saying that,
但我还是要告诉你
but believe me, there's not.
我注射了大量荷尔蒙 做了变性手术
I've had a lot of hormone therapy and a number of operations.
我不是故意骗你的
I'm really sorry. I... I hope you don't feel I deceived you.
我知道你不能接受这事
I understand if you would rather I left.
无所谓
I don't care.
你说什么
What?!
我不介意
Doesn't bother me.
一点都不吗
Doesn't bother you at all?
林子大了 什么鸟都有
It takes all sorts to make a world.
一般人都会介意的吧
It bothers most men.
哥不是普通人 之前的话依然有效
I'm not most men. And the offer still stands.
走吗
Are you up for it?
真给力
Amazing! Just amazing.
-你觉得怎样 -你真是个中好手
- You liked it? - You really know your way around that area.
明晚你打算干嘛 爱珀尔
Tell me, what are you doing tomorrow night, April?
看飞镖比赛如何
I was thinking of staying in and watching the darts.
咱俩真是心有灵犀
You've read my mind.
这什么玩意儿
What is it?
珍 这是因特网
This, Jen... is the Internet.
-啥? -你没有听错
- What? - That's right.
这就是因特网?
This is the internet?
-整个因特网吗 -没错
- The whole internet? - Yep.
我把它借来给你做演讲
I asked for a loan of it so that you could use it in your speech.
-这也太小了吧 -这正是它的惊人之处
- It's so small! - That's one of the surprising things about it.
蒙谁呢 连根网线都没有
Hang on, it doesn't have any wires or anything.
这是无线的
It's wireless.
也对 21世纪啥都用无线对吧
Oh, yes, everything's wireless nowadays, isn't it?
真的借我做演讲吗? 别人要上网怎么办?
I can really use it in my speech? What if someone needs it?
别人还是能上网的
Oh, no, no, people will still be able to go online. It will still work.
那就好
Oh, good. Good.
你向股东介绍这个
I tell you, you present this to the shareholders
肯定会令他们震惊的
and you will get quite a response.
我能摸一下吗
Can I touch it?
这么轻
Oh! It's so light!
废话 因特网能有什么重量
Of course it is. Jen, the internet doesn't weigh anything.
当然当然
No, of course it doesn't.
珍对因特网做了什么
What is Jen doing with the internet?!
莫斯说可以用在我的演讲上
Moss said I could use it for my speech.
哥们你疯了吗
Are you insane?!
万一她摔坏了怎么办
What if she drops it?
我不会弄掉的 我会很小心的
I won't drop it. I'll look after it.
珍 你不能这么做
No! No, no, no, no, no, Jen.
我们得把它送回大本钟
No, this... this needs to go straight back to Big Ben.
-大本钟? -在大本钟的最顶端
- Big Ben? - Yep, it goes on top of Big Ben.
那里信♥号♥♥最好
That's where you get the best reception.