IT狂人（2006）

- Isn't that good? - No, it is not good.
她把心情改成了"饥渴中"
She's put down her current mood as "Sensual".
你不会拒绝她的请求啊?
Why did you just not accept her as a friend?
畜生闭嘴
What are you, an animal?
我不能拒绝我老妈的好友请求
I can't turn down a friend request from my mum.
我有新消息啦
Message for me.
我在吃苹果呢 老妈
I am eating my apple, mum!
她今早给我装了个苹果
She packed me an apple
结果这成了我一整天的话题
this morning and it's the issue of the day.
我必须得走了 我中午约了老同学吃饭
I have to go. I'm meeting an old school friend for lunch.
淫淫网让人们都重聚了 这感觉好极了
Isn't it great the way Friendface brings people together?
保姆去追狗了 孩子们大哭大叫 简直是一团糟
Nanny's chasing the dog, the kids are screaming, absolute bedlam,
而我呢 却跑出来
and here's me running out of the
和几个重要股东开会
house to go to a meeting with the major shareholders.
-我的生活完全是场噩梦 -没错... 我也是
- My life is an absolute nightmare. - Yes...yes, mine too.
那其他的女孩呢 她们过得怎么样
So, the other girls, what are they doing?
伊莲是丹尼斯出版社的市场部总监
Elaine is head of marketing at Dennis Publishing.
-她嫁给了编辑伊斯盖尔 -是吗
- She's married to the editor of Esquire. - Is she?
维罗妮卡是亚力士唱片公♥司♥的星探
Veronica's an A&R with Arista.
她的大糗事就是没相中北极猴子乐队
Her big embarrassing story is she passed on Arctic Monkeys.
北极猴子是英国著名摇滚乐队
好白♥痴♥
Idiot.
吉莉是一名建筑师 她在给泰特美术馆设计新侧厅
Jilly is an architect, designing a new wing on the Tate.
伦敦著名景点 相当于英国国立美术馆
吉莉 吉莉·斯宾塞吗 她以前不是喜欢啃书桌吗
Jilly? Jilly Spencer? She used to eat the wood on her desk.
-我一直觉得她大脑缺根弦 -错 她是个天才
- I always thought she was slow. - No, she's a genius.
-大家都混得很好啊 -是啊
- Wow. Everybody's doing great. - Yeah.
那你呢 珍 你在哪高就啊
So, what about you, Jen? What are you up to?
-我在哪高就? -是啊
- What am I up to? - Yeah.
-天呐 这问题是不是太粗鲁了 -没有 没有
- Oh, God, I hope that's not a rude question. - No, no, no, no.
我刚刚把那些功成名就的朋友们都列了一遍
It'd be awful if I just listed all our successful friends
要是你的工作糟糕透顶 那一定很不爽
and you were stuck in some terrible, dead-end job you hated.
是啊没错 那肯定要恨死你了
God, yeah, that would be an absolute fucker.
我现在是瑞农企业的IT总监
No, no, I'm head of IT at Reynholm Industries.
天啊 我不知道你对电脑这么感兴趣
Ohh! I didn't know you were interested in computers.
"感兴趣"还真是轻描淡写啊
"Interested" is not the word.
抱歉
Sorry.
嗨 宝贝儿
Hi, babe.
这种事你不用打电♥话♥告诉我的
You didn't have to call just to tell me that.
不行 我在公共场所呢
No! I can't, I'm in public.
别闹了
Stop it!
嗯 我当然穿了
Yeah, of course I'm wearing them.
麻烦给我再来一杯
I'll have another one, please.
-好啊罗伊 -好呀
- Hi, Roy. - Hiya.
罗伊 你认不认识一些...
Roy, do you have any...
长得帅 看上去很像成功人士的朋友
attractive, successful-looking friends?
不认识
No!
-啥 一个都不认识吗 -不认识
- What, none at all? - No.
天呐 看来只能将就着找你了
Oh, God. Well, maybe you could help me, then.
我真是受宠若惊了 你被谁惹了吗
Wow. That's flattering. Are you pissed?
有点
A little bit.
你能不能和我一起去同学聚会
Could you come to a school
然后假装是我的老公
reunion with me and pretend you're my husband?
你觉得这种事是儿戏吗
Do you really think you can quiz
是说假装就假装的吗
me for a better option and think I'll still say yes?
-我给你五十块钱 -什么时候
- I'll give you 50. - When is it?
明晚 我在那个女孩面前牛皮吹大了
Tomorrow night. I sort of bigged myself up to this girl.
以前上学的时候她从来不正眼瞧我
She never had much time for me at school
我想显摆一下 所以我需要有个老公
and I wanted to impress her, so I need a husband.
但我去不了 因为明天
Yeah, I can't, because tomorrow
我得与那个小丑共度"良"宵
night I'm spending the evening with the Joker.
而且我会按照你说的
Yeah, I'm going to do what you said.
跟她摊牌
I'm going to tell her the truth,
说我对她没兴趣
tell her that I'm just not interested in her.
你不是要当面说吧
Ooh, you're not actually going to do that face to face?
不是你让我这么做的吗
You told me to!
难道你不怕她发飙吗
Well, aren't you worried she'll go mad?
我都担心死啦
I'm very worried about that!
你 你真是个 魂淡
Oh, you... Oh, you are a f... Oh...!
我要把约会取消了
I'm going to cancel.
不行 不能取消 尤其是现在
No, no, you can't cancel, not now.
那我该找谁呢
Who am I going to ask, then?
你找人干嘛
Who are you going to ask what?
没事
Nothing.
诚实女王现在
The queen of honesty here
需要个冒牌老公
needs a pretend husband
一起参加同学聚会
at her school reunion.
啥时候啊
When is it?
记得该怎么做了吗
So, you remember what to do?
把你捧上天
Big you up to the max.
怎么捧
By?
列举你捏造的丰功伟绩
Listing your fictional achievements.
不错 还有呢
Uh-huh. And?
表达我能邂逅你是多么幸运
Saying how lucky I am to have
描述我们美妙的夫妻生活
met you and talking about our sweet sex life.
最后一项还是略去吧
Maybe not the last one.
不想听起来太自鸣得意
We don't want to sound too smug.
装已婚男人
Hey, if I'm pretending to be married,
可不能一副性冷淡的样子
I'm pretending to be sexually active.
别操心啦 珍 10英镑我志在必得
Don't worry, Jen, I plan on earning this 10 pounds.
先给5英镑 事成之后补齐
Five now, five later. OK.
来杯巴卡第[一种古巴的兰姆酒]
And I will have a Bacardi
和一罐"口辣" 谢谢
and Cuke. Thank you.
你近来如何啊
So, how are you?
很好
I'm fine.
在淫淫网上不经意看到你的主页
It was great seeing your profile pop up on Friendface -
找了个好借口重新约你
gave me a great excuse to get back in touch.
的确 正是那破网站的精妙之处啊
Yeah... That's the brilliant thing about that bloody website.
你的近况呢
And how are you?
我很好 非常好
I'm great. I am great.
真高兴我们又重逢了
Yeah, I'm glad that we got together,
艾莉森 因为
Alison, because,
我想 跟你坦白或许对你公平些
I think it's only fair that I be completely honest with you.
其实
The truth is...
我先说几句你不介意吧
Do you mind if I say something first?
不介意
Er, OK.
我一向口拙
I've never been very good with words,
所以我写下来了
so I wrote it down
汇成了一首诗
and it turned into a poem.
等等 你现在要朗诵诗歌♥吗
I'm sorry, are you going to read a poem now?
真要朗诵吗
Is that what's actually going to happen?
是啊 可以吗
Yeah, is that all right?
难道你不觉得发短♥信♥更好吗
Wouldn't you prefer to text it to me?
这么长 短♥信♥可发不了
It's a bit long for that.
好 没问题
Okey-dokey.
啊 一双含情默默的爱尔兰碧眼
"Oh, gentle Irish eyes...
一头蓬松的棕发
".. tousled brown hair...
灿烂的笑容 犹似我最爱的泰迪熊
smile as big as my favourite teddy bear. "
有点老套
That's a bit corny.
稍后去掉这句 或者留着也行
I might take it out or I might leave it in.
没有你 我只是具行尸走肉
"Without you... I am just a husk. "
行尸走肉
Er... erm... A husk?
没错
Yeah.
好的
Uh-huh.
没有你
"Without you,
我只是具行尸走肉
I am just a husk,
一具死尸
a dead thing.
我的新挚友如同一把剃刀 一条绳索
My new best friend is a razor, a rope,
一套绞索 将我缠绕其中
a noose to swing... in.
没有你
Without you,
死亡带来的解脱
the sweet release of death
将是我唯一的希望