IT狂人（2006）

淫淫网是什么
what is Friendface?
淫淫网是一个非常棒的全新交♥友♥网♥站
Friendface is a great new site for meeting people.
它是如何运作的
How does it work?
淫淫网的运作机理
Friendface works along the same principle
和流感或可怕的瘟疫一样
as a cold or a terrible plague,
但淫淫网传播的
but it's not disgusting
可不是恶心的病菌 而是友情
germs that Friendface spreads, it's friendship.
每个淫淫网主页
Each Friendface page is
就像一个装满了友情病菌的培养皿
like a Petri dish filled with friendship germs.
当你把脸凑上去
when you stick your face in,
你的脸上就会沾满成千上万的友情病菌
you may come away with millions of people attached to your face!
没错 它就是一张沾满友情病菌的脸
That's right, it's basically a diseased face of friendship!
只要注册淫淫网
Just sign up with Friendface
并填写你的个人信息
by giving us all of your personal information,
我们就会给你提供一个
and we'll provide a web page where
能够结交新朋 重拾老友的主页
you can meet new friends, catch up with old ones,
说不定还能找到你人生的另一半
and maybe find that special someone.
别再想什么病菌啦 那个比喻到此为止
Don't think about germs now. That analogy's over.
现在只有爱情和友情 感觉好极了
Now it's just love and companionship, and everything's fine.
我们拥有你在淫淫网上填写的所有信息
we own everything you put on friendface.
这已在用户协议条款中做了说明
It says so in the terms and agreements.
不过别担心
But don't worry,
我们保证我们不会拿它来做坏事
we won't use it to do anything bad, we promise.
想想爱情和友情吧 感觉好极了
Just think about love and companionship and everything's fine.
淫淫网 淫淫网 淫淫网
Friendface. Friendface. Friendface.
《IT狂人》 第三季 第五集
淫淫网
麻烦你们俩别再用我的旧邮箱了
Can you two not use my email address any more, please?
我又新注册了一个
I've got a new one.
jennywenny@friendface
Jennywenny@Friendface? Oh,
你不会真去淫淫网上注册了吧
you've not signed up with Friendface, have you?
你说对了 怎么滴 感觉好极了
Yes, I have, actually. Why not? It's great.
我昨晚刚注册的 已经有30个好友了
I joined last night and I've already got 30 friends.
啊 我们都去注册淫淫网吧
Baaaa! Yes, let's all join Friendface
这样就可以成为庸人中的一员 我可不想这样
and become part of the herd! I don't think so.
怎么 他们人都很好
Why not? They're terrific!
可以联♥系♥老朋友 也可以跟别人调情
You can catch up on old friends, you can flirt with people...
跟与朋友聊天 和别人调情相比
I've got better things to do than
我有更正经的事要做 谢谢
to talk to friends and flirt with people, thank you.
可以在线玩拼字游戏...
You can play Scrabble online with it...
这只是变相地把广♥告♥
It's just another way of shoving
塞到你面前而已 赶紧注销 你会后悔的
advertising in your face, Jane. Don't do it, you'll regret it.
是一种不错的泡妞方式
It might be a great way to meet women.
七楼的姑娘们都注册了
All the girls on 7 are on it.
-就这么定了 -什么
- I'm in! - What?
-我已经注册了 -神速啊你
- I've joined. - That was quick!
你说可以在线玩拼字游戏 我已经玩上了
It was what you said about Scrabble. I'm in a game now.
-我也这么定了 -什么
- I'm in! - What?
-我已经注册了 -那你刚才说的广♥告♥怎么办
- I've joined! - What about the advertising?
广♥告♥算个毛 统统屏蔽掉
Oh, advertising doesn't have any effect on me, Jen. I tune it out.
-七楼的女孩金伯莉 她也注册了吗 -嗯
- So, the girls on 7, Kimberley, she's on this? - Uh-huh.
你看呐 主页上有个
Oh, cool, look! They've got
很好玩的小游戏
this great little game on their home page.
你需要把一小罐可乐扔到这个大嘴巴里
You have to throw a little can of cola into a giant mouth.
太有意思了 天呐 渴死我了
That's brilliant. God, I'm so thirsty.
我有话要对你们说...
Listen, I've got to have a word with you...
-等下 -你可以更改一下淫淫网的设置
- Hang on. - You know, you can change your settings on Friendface
这样来消息的时候 就没有烦人的铃♥声♥了
so you don't get that annoying bleep with every message.
一条新消息
Incoming message!
对不起 那是我的
Sorry, that's me.
我是要告诉你们...
I just have to tell you...
等下
Oh, hang on.
珍 你把对话窗口打开 我们在那上面聊
Jen, just open a chat window and we can all talk in it.
-怎么弄 -点击左下角的对话气泡
- How do I do that? - Press the speech bubble in the left corner.
没错
Yes!
是啊 但是别忘了...
Oh, yeah, but don't forget, if...
-看看你像什么 -我能否插一句话
- What are you like?! - If I might interject.
-简直太搞笑了 -莫斯
- That's hilarious! - Oh, Moss!
这是经典的莫斯风格
That was a classic Moss line.
我爱死它了
I love this.
感觉自己是社交女王
I feel so social.
珍 我要回家了 已经快七点半了
Jen, I'm going home now. It's nearly 7:30.
我在回复淫淫网上的消息
Just answering all my messages on Friendface.
简直是越聊越多啊
They piled up while we were chatting.
很多旧相识都重新联♥系♥上了 感觉棒极了
So many people I don't care about getting back in touch. Brilliant.
又是一条新消息
Oh, there's another one.
我登录了在线游戏 绝对锻炼脑力
And I'm getting into online games. You know, real brain-teasers.
我同时还在填一份关于
And I'm filling out a form
有多喜欢"口辣"的表格 你填过吗
on how much I love Cuke. Have you tried it?
Cuke与Coke发音相近 此处是在讽刺可口可乐
"口辣"吗 当然 我爱死"口辣"了 罐装饮品中的极品
Cuke? Yeah! I love Cuke. It's heaven in a can.
不管怎样 我要先回去了
Anyway, I'm going to head, all right?
珍 不要太沉迷哟
Jen, don't get too obsessed by that.
我不会的 再见莫斯
No, I won't. Bye, Moss.
有人加我好友了
Oh, someone's added me as their friend.
我以前和她一起上学 不知道她现在混得怎么样
I went to school with her. Wonder how she's doing?
混得不咋滴 好极了
Oh, not very well. That's good.
-一条新消息 -吓死老娘了
- Incoming message! - Jesus Christ!
我的意思是 你好啊
I mean, Jesus Christ?
天呐 天呐天呐天呐
Oh, God. Oh God, oh God, oh God. Oh, God!
不好意思 你不睡别人还要睡呢
Excuse me, some of us are trying to sleep round here.
这个和我约会过一次的女人还想跟我见面
This woman that I went out with once wants to meet up again.
我还以为已经摆脱她了呢
I thought I'd got rid of her,
结果她却在淫淫网上找到了我
but, oh no, she found me on Friendface.
现在我不得不花整整一下午时间
Now I'll have to spend all
编造谎言 再次摆脱她
afternoon trying to make up lies to get rid of her again.
我觉得你这也太刻薄了吧
Oh, I think that is very mean.
换做是我 我想要知道事情的真♥相♥
If it were me, I would like to know the truth.
-"你妆化得太浓了"吗 -我才没有
- That you wear way too much makeup? - I do not!
这话真是恶毒啊 你竟敢说出口
That's a horrible thing to say! How dare you!
不是说你 珍 是那个女孩
Not you, Jen. This girl.
-她化妆很浓吗 -妖艳至极
- Oh, does she? - Big time.
-你和她睡过吗 -没有
- Did you sleep with her? - No.
又不是我的错 我喝得酩酊大醉
It wasn't my fault! I got really
想一醉方休
drunk to try and make the evening pass quicker,
结果她化的浓妆居然对我起作用了
then by the end of it the makeup started to work for me.
得了吧你
Oh, please!
我并不觉得骄傲 不会把它写进简历
I'm not proud of it. It's not going on my CV.
但其实每个男人都有一段风流史
But every man has a story like this.
这已经不是你第一次风流了
This is not your first story like this.
每个男人都有几段风流史
Every man has a few stories like this.
瞎狗眼 简直是昨♥日♥重♥现♥
Oh, no, it's all coming back to me now.
拿小铲子往脸上扑粉什么的
She used to slap it on with a trowel.
女人们怎么就这么不自信呢
God, why don't women have
化妆是越淡才越好
the confidence to know that less is more?
然后当她哭的时候 脸上的妆全都花了
Then, when she started crying it all ran down her face.
简直像个小丑
It was like breaking up with the Joker.
等等 她就那么伤心吗 竟然哭了
Hang on, she was that upset, she was crying?
-什么 没有... -看来你的确伤她很深
- What? No... - It sounds like you really hurt this girl's feelings.
至少你得告诉她事情的真♥相♥
The least you can do is tell her the truth.
别像个娘们似的 拜托
Be a man, for God's sake.
别这么说... 我可是纯爷们儿
Whoa, don't... Hey, I am a man.
我会告诉她的 我给她发邮件
I will tell her. I will email her.
-不行 你必须当面告诉她 -休想
- No, you have to tell her face to face. - The hell I do.
她个脆弱的年轻女人 如果反应过激怎么办
This is a fragile young woman. What if she reacts badly?
所以我必须用邮件说
That's why I'm doing it on email.
不行 你必须告诉她真♥相♥
No, you have to tell her
而且必须当面跟她说
the truth and you have to do it face to face.
真的假的
Do I?
我老妈也注册了淫淫网 我老妈
My mum's on Friendface! My mum!
我又多了个与老妈交流的全新方式
I have another channel of communication with my mum!
-这样不好吗 -不 糟糕透顶