肥皂人生（2015）

Telenovela S01E02

Part 1 Sept. 1, 2020, 3:58 p.m.

肥皂人生
第一季第二集
各位
Guys, guys.
我们的噩梦成真了
Our worst nightmare's come true.
今天是伊莎贝拉的生日
It's Isabela's birthday.
你这个段子都用烂了
You always do that joke.
我知道应为确实太搞笑了
I know, 'cause it's so funny,
不过这次是来真的了
but this time, it's for real.
那可不妙
That's not good.
- 你确定? - 确定!
- Are you sure? - Yeah!
她经纪人都给她送花来了
Her agent sent her flowers.
哦 - 这不是演习
Oh. - This is not a drill.
那我们怎么办?
So what do we do?
我们硬撑过去
We survive.
我们知道她会心情不好
We know she's going to be in a bad mood,
所以就不要和她说话不要碰她
so that means don't talk to her, don't touch her,
连想都不要想她!
don't even think about her!
她会感知到的!
She'll know!
咖啡立刻马上
Coffee, now.
大伙好运啊
Good luck, everyone.
好了在我忘记那仅有的一句台词之前
All right, let's get this over with
赶紧完事吧
before I forget my one line.
就一句台词你能相信么?
One line, can you believe it?
我可是获过奖的演员啊
I'm an award-winning actress.
我都拍了20年的电视剧了
I've been doing telenovelas for 20 years...
综合考虑我这么年轻的事实 20年可是很了不起的
which is remarkable considering how young I am.
你有多年轻?
How young are you?
猜猜看?
Any guesses?
- 112? -35?
- 112? - 35?
给您的咖啡
Here's your coffee.
我说要杏仁奶茶的!
I said almond milk!
行了冷静一下库伊拉(电影‘101忠犬’中反派)
All right, calm down, Cruella de Vil.
我们都知道今天是你的生日
We all know it's your birthday.
你不觉得自己有点反应过度了?
Don't you think you're overreacting?
你说的对
You're right.
我到底是怎么了?
What is wrong with me?
你知道的我爸爸在我六岁的时候抛弃了我们
You know, my father left us on my sixth birthday,
然后我就一直想 “要是我再漂亮一点
and I always thought, "If I were only prettier
或者再聪明一点他就会回来”
or smarter, he would've come back."
我觉得我发脾气的时候只是我想表达
I guess when I lash out, it's just me saying,
“请你爱我爸爸”
"Love me, Daddy."
哦伊莎贝拉
Oh, Isabela.
我完全不知道你这过去
I had no idea.
见识了吧小婊砸们这才叫演戏
And that, bitches, is how you act.
我… 我才没有信
She didn't-- she didn't get me.
我信了
She got me.
我简直恨死了伊莎贝拉竟然愚弄我们对她产生同情之心
I hate that Isabela tricked us into having feelings for her.
可不是有那么一秒钟
I know. For a minute there,
我还真以为她那冰冷的心脏还在跳呢
I thought she had blood pumping through her cold, dead heart.
我只是很讨厌秘密它们会毁掉情感关系
I just hate secrets. They ruin relationships.
是的
It's true.
我前夫说了好多秘密现在他进去蹲着了
My ex-husband told secrets, and now he's in jail.
是啊我前男友跟我说他天生金发
Yeah, my last boyfriend told me he was naturally blond,
结果到冬天的时候他体毛都长回来了
but then in the winter, when his body hair grew back.
我发现他根本就是在说谎
I found that it was all a lie.
正是
Exactly.
你看我们整天都在一起相处
You know, we spend so much time together.
如果我们不能相互信任
How are we supposed to be a family
还怎么像一家人一样?
if we can't trust each other?
蜜蜜拉我一把
Get me up, Mimi.
好了大家注意!
Oh, all right, everybody!
我有件事要说
I have an announcement.
就—-
Just--
很短几句
really quick.
大家为啥都跟没听到似的?
Why isn't anybody gathering?
你最近老是有事要宣布
You've been making a lot of announcements lately.
大家都麻木了
People are starting to get bored.
可能得用点新鲜的法子吸引他们的注意力
You might have to entice them with something.
请大家吃冰激凌
Ice cream for everyone.
既然各位都在场
And since you're all here,
我希望能够鼓励大家多分享自己的故事
I want to give you encouragement to share more of yourselves.
希望我们能够成为团结的一家人
I want us to stay a tight-knit family,
所以从现在开始我们要坦诚相待
so from now on, we're going to have an open-book policy.
不再有秘密好吗?
No more secrets, okay?
我先来分享
I'll be the first to share.
我有一次和一个力气很大的宝宝玩的时候弄伤了拇指
I once broke my thumb playing with a very strong baby.
还有谁想分享一下的?
Anyone else want to share?
好吧我妻子刚刚抛弃我了
Okay. My wife just left me.
要不还是从有趣的故事开始吧慢慢来
Maybe let's just start with the fun stuff, to ease in.
我有两辆赛格威体感车哦
I own two Segways.
很有趣哦!
Fun!
完全没必要提但是有趣
Unnecessary but fun.
哦当我压力很大的时候我会吃粉笔
Oh, when I get stressed out, I eat chalk.
他老婆抛下他是跟我跑了
His wife left him for me.
好吧这样吧?
Okay, you know what?
我们—-会摸索出来的
We're gonna-- we're gonna find our groove.
但是刚刚分享的也不错哦干得漂亮
But great sharing, you guys. Good job.
- 这个伸不直? - 伸不直
- Doesn't go all the way up? - Nope.
我不明白发生了什么
I don't know what happened.
昨天杀人蜜蜂那场还挺好的呢
It was fine yesterday in the killer bee scene,
今天就卡住了
but today it just got stuck.
这是个难搞的小家伙
It's a tricky little guy.
我是说大家伙我我并不知道
I mean, big guy. I--I wouldn't know.
我怎么会知道?
How would I know?
我把裤子脱了是不是会简单些?
Would it be easier if I took the pants off?
好吧谢啦
Okay, thanks.
如果你在探索新的笑声
If you're trying on new laughs,
我可以给你提供个备选方案
I'd have a back-up option.
那你说我在给摸同事的时候
Well, what sound should I make
应该发出什么声音?
when I'm feeling up my co-worker?
你到底吃错什么药了?
So what's going on with you?
别遮掩啊坦诚相待的
Come on. Open-book policy.
昨晚我做了个春梦是关于罗德里格
Last night, I had a sex dream about Rodrigo.
- 啥? - 我们在沙滩上
- What? - We were on the beach.
还有好多海豚在看着
And there were all these dolphins watching.
它们特别诡异
They were really pervy too,
一直在相互击掌像这样
because they kept high-fiving each other, like:
- 海豚就是很诡异 - 恩
- Dolphins are pervy. - Mm.
我和哈维在巴哈马浮潜的时候
Xavi and I were snorkeling in the Bahamas,
有一只海豚把舌头伸到了我耳朵里
and one of them stuck their tongue in my ear.
- 呕 - 是说
- Ew. - Mm.
那你是对罗德里格有点意思?
So you have a thing for Rodrigo?
才没只是自从我那个什么有很长时间了
No, it's just been a long time since I've, you know--
如果你说那个什么是指滚床单的话那确实有挺长时间了
If you think that's sex, it has been a long time.
可不是么
Tell me about it.
如果你需要的是滚床单
Well, if it's sex you need,
你干嘛不和罗德里格来一发呢?
why don't you sleep with Rodrigo?
你开什么国际玩笑?
Are you kidding?
没看见他身边都是什么样的小妞吗?
Have you seen the girls he's brought around here?
而我都是三个孩子的妈了我还得把我的灰头发给染了
I've pumped out three kids, I dye my gray hair,
玩机械牛的时候我还留下了一道诡异的伤疤
and I've got that weird scar from the mechanical bull.
我跟你说你骑反了
I told you you were riding it backwards.
- 蜜蜜你很美 - 但我不是他喜欢的类型
- Mimi, you're beautiful. - Yeah, but I'm not his type.
而且你知道么这也没关系啦
And, you know, that's okay.
我太忙了没工夫玩中学生那一套
I'm too busy for all this middle school crush crap.
有点小幻想我已经很满足了
I'm happy with just the fantasy.
真正在一起要求太多空闲时间了
Reality requires too much free time.
还要涂蜡去毛
And waxing.
喂您好贝尔瓦蒂先生
Hello, Mr...Belvedere.
看来你走进了死亡区域啊
Looks like you walked into a dead zone.
好了清理片场