肥皂人生（2015）

Telenovela S01E08

Part 3 Sept. 1, 2020, 3:59 p.m.

这摄影我们到底该怎么办?
What do we do about this photo shoot?
我没办法假装我不在乎
I can't pretend I don't care.
不化妆还没有ps
No makeup. No photoshop.
他们以为我们是什么畜生嘛?
What kind of animals do they think we are?
- 那只是一个小小的痘痘 - 真的?
- It's just a tiny zit. - Really?
哎呦我的亲舅老爷!
El diablo!
我要有话直说了我也不喜欢这样
I'm gonna say it. I don't like this either.
我也有事情需要隐瞒
I have stuff to cover up too.
你知道不我的左肱二头肌比我的右肱二头肌
You know, my left bicep is smaller and weaker
小而且无力
Than my right one.
你把那蜡烛扔给我
Throw me that candle.
看见么? 太弱了
See? So weak.
不你太勇敢了
No, so brave.
我们都有缺点
We all have flaws.
- 对吧哈维? - 我不知道啊
- Right, xavi? - I don't know.
我想我的嘴唇总是这么饱满撅翘
I guess my lips are so full and pouty
有的时候会裂口
Sometimes they get chapped.
对不起好嘛我在努力想了
I'm sorry, I'm trying.
只是我从来没有遇到过和你们一样的问题
I don't have the same hang-ups as you guys.
嘿我出生的时候只有一个—-
Hey, I was born with only one--
好啦所以康纳我知道你♥爸♥比不在这
Okay. So, conner, I know your dad isn't here,
但是我的几个朋友想跟你聊聊
But I have a few friends who want to talk to you
一些男人的话题哼?
About some guy stuff. Huh?
我来告诉你我爸都跟我说了些啥
Let me tell you what my father told me.
胸器
Boobs.
胸器胸器
Boobs. Boobs.
对我来说? 不
For me? No.
把我的吉他想象成是一个女人
Pretend my guitar is a woman.
- 懂了不? - 安娜!
- Get it? - Ana!
修女装?
A nun?
是这样的不♥穿♥这个就是一个热狗戏服
Well, it was this or a hot dog costume,
并且那个热狗戏服简直是出人意料的性感
And the hot dog costume was surprisingly sexy.
好叻康纳康仔...
All right, conner, con-man...
疯狂的岁月哼?
Crazy times, huh?
荷尔蒙痘痘体毛女孩子
Hormones, zits, hair, girls.
目标!
Goooooal!
沙滩救生员粘粘的侧滚翻
"Baywatch," Sticky, cartwheels.
- 我可以走了不? - 不不不不不好吧
- Can I go now? - No, no, no, no, no, okay.
听着我们要进行一场成人之间的对话
Look, we're gonna talk like adults.
你长大了你将成为一个男人
You are growing up. You're becoming a man.
所以你不能在继续留恋你的童年了
So you got to let go of your childhood.
结束了一了百了永不回头化作尘埃
It's done, done-zo, gone-zo, finito.
你需要跟他们说再见
You're gonna have to say good-bye.
再见费丽莎! 再见童年!
Bye, felicia! Bye, childhood!
好了好了成人对话结束了
Okay, okay, enough adult talk.
康纳打个恶作剧电♥话♥去
Conner, go make a prank phone call.
- 打给谁? - 打给你外婆
- To who? - Call your abuela.
跟她说你是周立波
Tell her you're george lopez.
哦好吧
Oh, okay, yeah.
好聊得不错小宝贝!
Okay, good talk, mijo!
蜜蜜我刚刚都入角色了
Mimi, I was on a roll.
好吧咋了? 我—-港真?
Okay. What? I was--really?
好吧…至少我有努力过啊这里连修女都是放荡的好嘛
Well...I tried. Even the nuns are slutty here.
哦! 你在这里啊
Oh! There you are.
你还好吗?
Are you okay?
我看你怎么不再当修女了
I see you left the convent.
哦对啊
Oh, yeah.
那些人不停的在跟我忏悔罪过
People kept confessing things to me.
这个剧组也有阴暗的一面
This crew is into some dark stuff.
显然道具组的卡萝是个女巫
Apparently carol in props is a witch.
嘿性教育的事情你怎么临阵脱逃了?
Hey, why did you bail on the sex talk?
因为康纳还太小了
Because conner's too young.
在他准备好之前往他脑子里灌输这些困惑人的事情
Filling his head with all that confusing stuff
可能最后会落得一团糟
Before he's ready can really mess him up,
把他变成一个连环杀手
Turn him into a serial killer.
哦! 或者更糟
Ooh! Or worse,
成为那些个涂满金色油漆的街头艺人
One of those gold-painted street performers.
好吧蜜蜜我说这些是出于我的爱
Okay, mimi, I say this out of love,
所以你不能生我气
Which means you can't get mad at me.
但是你有没有想过
But have you thought maybe
也许是你还没有准备好?
you're the one not ready for the sex talk?
我的母性直觉告诉我是他还没有准备好
My mom gut is telling me he's not ready.
好吧我知道了我不会插手了
Okay. I hear you. I'll back off.
谢谢
Thank you.
但是你的母性直觉也说过鲍比是一个靠谱的人
But your mom gut also said Bobby was a keeper,
我们都知道最后的结果
And we know how that turned out.
并不太好
Not so good.
我们准备好了吗?
Are we ready to do this?
你俩都克服那些芝麻绿豆的小问题了?
You two over all your little insecurities?
不但是我们有一个计划
No, we have a plan.
我们要利用对方来掩盖我们的缺点
We're gonna use each other to hide our flaws.
盖尔站在这里来遮住我瘦小的二头肌
Gael is standing here so I can hide my skinny bicep.
哈维你站在另一边
And, Xavi, you stand on the other side
来挡住我不忍♥直视的脸
to hide my hideous face.
不我要站在这
No, I think I'll stand here.
别这样我们要一起合作
Come on, we're working together.
我站这挺好的
I'm good here.
带着你那完美的嘴唇给我站那去!
Get your perfect lips over there now!
我不能!
I can't!
我遗传了我妈妈的下巴!
I have my mother's jawline!
如果我以那样的角度站在那每个人都会看到
If I stand there at that angle, everyone's gonna see.
你也有不自信的地方吗?
You have insecurities too?
超级多
So many.
你非常勇敢
You're so brave.
我们都很勇敢我们一定能做好
We're all so brave. We can do this.
对!
Yeah! Yeah.
- 我只是在想... - 不我再也不会谈论康纳了
- I just think... - no, I'm not talking about Conner anymore.
来放松你的身体然后扯我的头发
Just let your body go limp and pull my hair.
扯
Pull it.
你们在干嘛?
Hey, what's going on?
伊莎贝拉在给我爱情戏一些指导
Isabela is giving me some pointers on my love scene.
我在镜头前表演过至少三百五十场爱情戏
I've made love over 350 times on camera.
她也借此得到了她第一份表演工作
And that was just to get her first acting job.
我有错过谈话吗? 因为我不太了解胎盘
Did I miss the talk? 'cause I had a question about placentas
以及为什么我的姑妈要在跳蚤市场卖♥♥掉
and why my aunt sells them at flea markets.
不要再讨论这个谈话了
Okay, no more talk about the talk.
罗克茜我给你的爱情戏带来了几样道具
Roxie, I brought you a few options for your love scene, okay?
可以扯掉的裙子项链头发
Rip-away dress, rip-away necklace, rip-away hair.
我感觉自己像一位公主!
Oh, I feel like a princess!
你们衣柜里有东西在动
There's something moving in your closet.
康纳!
Conner!
好了各位就等你们了
Okay, guys, I'm ready for you.
所以我们等会告诉她我们需要化妆
So we're just gonna tell her we need makeup.
对还有PS 可爱的可爱的PS技术
Yeah. And photoshop. Sweet, sweet photoshop. Yeah.
如果她不满足我们的要求我们就不给拍
And if she doesn't meet our demands, we won't do the shoot.
对对对对
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
我已经准备好拍我的特写了
I'm ready for my close-up.
他真的只有一个
He does only have one.
看看他如此自信
Look at him. So proud.
如果古斯塔沃可以不为他自己的身体感到羞愧
If gustavo can have no shame about his body
即使他本应该感到非常羞耻
when he should have so much shame,
那我们应该对我们的身体自信
Then we should be confident about our bodies.
你说的对
You're right.
哈维你的妈妈一定很男人
Xavi, your mom must be very manly
因为你的下巴简直太男人了
because your chin is crazy masculine.
谢了
Thanks,
其实你的二头肌比我的每一块都要好
and your bad bicep is better than either of my good ones.
盖尔你的痘痘...
And gael, your zit...
真的非常非常糟糕
is really, really bad.
你现在已经有两个了
Yeah, you actually have two now.