猎鹿惊魂（2016）

有关她床上的表现等等问题
What she's like in the sack and so on.
问我吧 问我吧
Oh! Hit me, hit me!
好的 问题一 弗兰的生日是几号♥
Right. Question numero uno. When's Fran's birthday?
这问题也太简单了吧
Oh! Come on! Too easy.
他不知道的
He doesn't know.
我知道 但问题太无聊
I do. But it's boring.
有趣的问题在哪里
Where are the good questions?
来吧
Come on!
好吧 问题二
OK. Numero... two.
吉列剃须刀 杜莎蜡像 还是舍伍德森林
Gillette, Tussauds, or Sherwood?
我听不懂啊
I don't understand.
你妹妹的前庭
Your sister's front garden.
是吉列剃须刀 杜莎夫人蜡像还是舍伍德森林
Is it Gillette, Tussauds or the Forest of Sherwood?
她私处的毛是用剃刀刮了
Her private parts! Is she shaven,
上蜡脱毛了 还是蓬乱的
waxed, or unkempt?
我才不会回答这个问题
Urgh! I'm not gonna answer that!
他可没说他不知道
He's not saying he doesn't know!
不是这个意思
No!
过不去了
River says no.
你说什么
Pardon me?
涨水了 我们装的东西太多
She's flooded and we're too heavy.
这是唯一一条进去的路
This is the only way in.
这个周末不能狩猎了
There'll be no hunting this weekend.
你等一下 朋友
Now, hang on, matey.
我们付钱给你是干什么的
What are we paying you for?
如果我们早点到就没有问题
If we'd been here earlier, there wouldn't have been a problem.
如果不是等这个胖企鹅
We would have been here earlier
我们早该到了
if we didn't have to wait for the Penguin.
前者为007中的主角 后者为指环王中的怪物
- 是啊 矮版詹姆斯·邦德 - 胖版咕噜姆
- Yeah, 003.5. - Croupier Gollum.
我迟到是因为你们把我丢在了集♥合♥点
I was late because you left me at the meeting point,
好吗
right?
就像你把我丢在酒吧里让我付账一样
Just like you let me in the pub when I was busy paying your bill.
总共六百英镑呢
All ￡600 of it.
所以讲清楚 你们从来没等过我
So, let's be clear, you've never waited for me once.
- 哥们 - 新郎说话了 大家听好
- Guys! - Stag's talking, everyone.
周末的活动肯定会开很多玩笑 我们就是这样
There's bound to be a lot of banter this weekend. OK, it's us,
所以肯定会有所冒犯 但是别太过火 好吗
so it comes with the territory, but keep it light, OK?
没人希望受到伤害
No-one need get injured.
彼此尊重一点吧
Have a little respect for your fellow man.
司机
Driver!
有办法吗 任何办法都行 让我们从
Is there any way, any way at all, we can get across
这条小河过去
this "wee burn" here?
好了
Right.
等你们都过去后 我会开车跟着你们
When you're all across, I'll follow in the vehicle.
如果你被水冲走 但活下来了
If you do get washed away and you survive,
要确保上这边的岸
make sure you get out this side.
这边的鹿要少得多
There's far fewer stags this side of the water.
鹿应该都很温顺吧
Stags are good, though, aren't they?
没枪的话 它们可不温顺
Not without a gun, they're not.
那我们什么时候可猎捕一只鹿呢
And when will we be allowed to have one of those?
出于兴趣问问
Out of interest.
如果鹿看见你了
If a stag sees you,
如果他视你为敌人
he'll either attack you
他就会攻击你
if he thinks you're a rival.
如果他觉得你是雌性
Or if he thinks you're a female...
他就会强♥奸♥你
he will rape you.
还有问题吗
Any questions?
这真的是唯一的办法吗
Is this definitely the only way?
不是
No.
我们可以从旧水坝那里过去
We can cross at the old dam
但是要步行整整七个小时
but that's a seven-hour hike from there.
那我们要怎么回来
Er, how do we get back again?
等水位降下去
When the river lets you.
英国一个免费的电视频道 全天24小时播出
ITV2都快开始制♥作♥
So, ITV2 are this close to commissioning
"怎么漂亮地露宿街头了"
How To Look Good Homeless,
我却被困在了某个
and I'm marooned in some Third-World grotto
连个2G都没有的第三世界洞穴里
that can't even muster 2G!
真讽刺
It's a travesty.
太讽刺了
A bloody travesty.
我的包
My bag!
继续前进
Got to keep moving!
我的包 我所有东西都在里面
My bag! It's all my stuff!
过来啊 来啊
Come on! Come on!
动起来
Yeah, get a McMove on!
你应该带我们打猎的
You're supposed to take us hunting,
而不是像个苏格兰人一样站在那
not stand around looking Scottish!
还是吃了太多巧克力棒和面糊 动不了了
Probably too full of Mars Bars and batter to move, isn't he?!
过来吧 悠着点 来吧
Come on! In your own time! Come on!
他要丢下我们
He's abandoning us!
你个蠢货 他在准备冲过来
He's taking a run-up, you moron!
准备得有点远
That's a considerable run-up.
你们谁有多余的衣服吗
Don't suppose anybody's got any spare clothes?
周日的晚餐我还得用这身衣服 行吗
I need it back for the dinner on Sunday, OK?
好的
Yes.
新闻报道过 鹿因为强♥奸♥和袭击而受审的吗
It's never on the news, is it... stags on trial for rape and that?
他就是吓唬你 仅此而已
Just scare-mongering, that's all that was.
如果它们不懂什么叫"不要" 还算强♥奸♥吗
Is it rape if they don't understand the word "no"?
可能就是... 伐木工在砍树
Probably just... a lumberjack chopping trees.
晚上十一点半砍树啊
At 11.30 at night?
等下 都停下 这太荒谬了 我们要去哪啊
Wait! Stop! This is ridiculous! Where are we even going?
勒嘉
Ledge?
- 我不知道啊 - 但你是伴郎啊
- I don't know. - But you're best man!
伴郎也不是万能的啊
Best men can't do everything.
不要这么看着我
And don't give me that look.
你们他妈都没回复我的电子请柬
Not one of you bastards RSVP'd to the original e-vite
现在却把这些烂事都推给我了
and now you come at me with all this shit.
你在把我们往哪带 伙计
Where are you taking us, mate?
我没往哪带啊
I'm not taking us anywhere!
我带你们去了酒吧 见了猎场看守
I took us to the pub, met the gamekeeper.
就做了这些 然后就是他接手了
That's what it said to do and then HE takes it from there.
但是现在看守人走了啊
But now the gamekeeper has gone.
丹麦前足球运动员 著名门将
什么都不能从彼得·舒梅切尔那通过
Nothing gets past Peter Schmeichel.
不要冲他发火
Don't take it out on him.
听着 我很想知道为什么不去
Look, what was wrong with indoor golf
巴特西打室内高尔夫
and a boozy lunch in Battersea?
然后吃个午餐喝个酒
That's what I want to know.
拜托 勒嘉 我们该怎么办
Come on, Ledge. What are we going to do?
我们还是能...
We could always...
好吧 我们能...
Well, we could always...
搭个帐篷...
pitch camp...
在那片空地上...
in that clearing...
生个火 来点啤酒
light a fire, have a few beers
明早再看看我们的方位
and get our bearings in the morning?
早上的时候
In the a.m.
好吧
All right.
你先走
After you.
说得好
Good.
主意不错 伊恩
Nice one, Ian.
是叫"热"什么的
Thermal what?
位于苏格兰高地山脉附近的一种恐怖人形物体
叫"大灰人"
Fear Mor.
网上都能查到
It's all over the internet.
你怎么有信♥号♥♥
How have you got data?
我没有信♥号♥♥啊 这太不公平了
I haven't got data. This is so unfair.
"大灰人" 就像苏格兰巨人一样
The Fear Mor. It's, like, this Scottish giant.
隐在迷雾中 来无影去无踪
Hides in the mist. Comes out of nowhere.
我读过一个人的故事
I read about this guy,
他来这里度假
who was just here on a rambling holiday,
想自己做点事情...
minding his own beeswax...