腌黄瓜先生

我过着非常悲惨的生活
I live a very sad life.
真
一共7.95美元
That'll be $7.95.
你好
Hello?
一个会说话的什么
A talking what?
鹿 是真的 乔·鲍勃
Deer! That's right, Joe Bob!
就在树林里 我们的小木屋附近
In the woods by our cabin.
等我们抓到它 才不会让它跟你说话
And once we gets it, we ain't never gonna let it talk to you.
我刚刚看见鹿仔了
I just saw Deerboy!
我们要抓到鹿仔了
Come on! We gonna get ourselves a Deerboy!
不 孩子 他往这个方向去了
No, boy. He went this way.
来吧
Come on!
我知道你跑到这了 史蒂夫
I know you're out here, Steve!
你是谁
Now, who are you?!
你看什么
What are you looking at?!
宝贝
Hey, baby!
你想一起玩玩嘛
You want to fool around?
你的声音很吸引人
You sound attractive.
我觉得我爱上你了
Oh, yeah! Unh! I think I love y...
你在这啊 我们得离开这
There you are! We got to get out of here!
现在不行 汤米
Not now, Tommy!
一只会说话的鹿
A talkin' deer?!
-抓到它 -不
- Get him! - Nooooo!
抓到那只会说话的鹿
Get that talking deer!
/an8禁止倾倒垃圾
原来我的屁♥眼♥长这样
So that's what my butthole looks like.
原来我的屁♥眼♥长这样
So that's what my butthole looks like.
回来 会说话的鹿
Get back here, talking deer!
慢点 等 等我 伙计们
Slow down! W-Wait for me, guys!
抓住我的手
Take my hand!
该死
Dang it!
要啤酒吗
Beer?
当然了 傻瓜
Of course, stupid!
太险了
That was close.
求你了 先生
Please, senior.
别告诉别人我有只会说话的驴
Please no tell anybody about me talking donkey.
再见 驴仔
Bye, Donkeyboy!
再见 朋友们
Adios, amigos!
你真是很难照顾
You sure are hard to take care of.
今天真是我一生中最棒的一天
Today was the greatest day of my li...
什么 不
Wha...? Oh, no!
腌黄瓜先生 快去找鹿仔的父母
Mr. Pickles, go find Deerboy's parents!
史蒂夫
Steve?
有人在家吗
Hello?
贝弗莉 我们得谈谈
Beverly, we need to talk.
我一直生活在谎言中 我欠你一个真♥相♥
I've been living a lie, and I owe you the truth.
我们之间的关系变味了
Something's changed in our relationship.
原因是我对肉卷
And that something is me... eat loaf.
再也忍♥不了了 我恨肉卷
I can't stand it anymore! I hate meatloaf!
晚饭做点别的好吗
Please just make something else for dinner.
别说话 好好考虑一下
Don't say anything. I... Just think about it.
汤米 我要流血过多而死了
Tommy, I'm bleeding to death!
你得打死我 汤米
You got to shoot me, Tommy!
-什么 -对对对
- What? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
你得结束我的痛苦
You got to p-p-p-p-put me out of my m-misery!
不
No!
我的鹿生很精彩
Look, I-I've led a wonderful life.
我看到了自己的屁♥眼♥
I got to see my butthole!
但你还有大好鹿生等着你
But... you still have your whole life ahead.
美好的日子都过去了
the good days are all behind me.
几年之前 我在商场工作
Few years from now, I'm working at the mall
推销手♥机♥壳 还有肉丸之类的东西
selling cellphone covers or meatballs or something.
我很郁闷 开始酗酒 家暴我的妻子
I'm depressed. Start drinking, smacking my wife around.
她不再尊重我了 汤米
She don't respect me no more, Tommy!
她带着孩子和海狸同居去了
She takes the kids and moves in with the beaver.
那只海狸一直在吸她的奶 汤米
The beaver's sucking her nipples all the time, Tommy.
无论如何 最后我的嘴里都会塞上一支枪
One way or another, I end up with a gun in my mouth!
你得打死我 汤米
You got to shoot me, Tommy!
不
N-o!
快动手 爆我的头 汤米
Do it! Blow my brains out, Tommy!
不 我负责照顾你
No! You're my responsibility!
那就送我上路 打死我 汤米
So take care of me! Shoot me, Tommy!
-不 -求你了
- No! - Please!
-不 -求你了
- No... - Please!
求你了
Pleeeeeeeease!
好吧 我来动手
Okay. I'll do it.
永别了 汤米
Bye, Tommy.
永别了 鹿仔
Bye, Deerboy.
你打死了它
You shot it!
我们的会说话的鹿啊
Our talkin' deer!
没错 它是会说话
It talks, all right.
吃了我 你们这些酒鬼
Eat me, ya dumb drunks.
还真会说话
It talks!
我们应该尊重它的遗愿
We should ho... honor its wishes.
在以前 我肯定会去复仇
In the old days, I would have sought revenge.
但我现在有鹿仔要照顾
But now I got my Deerboy to look after.
谢谢 爸爸
Thanks, Papa!
再见 汤米
So long, Tommy.
-别惹麻烦 孩子 -再见
- Stay out of trouble, kiddo. - Bye!
我的鹿妈妈呢
Where's my ma deer?
她感觉不太好 以后也不会好了
She... don't feel good. Ever again.
好孩子
Good boy!
惊喜
Surprise!
不用了 爸爸
No thanks, Dad.
你说得对 我担不起持枪的责任
You're right. Guns are too much responsibility.
史蒂夫在哪
Where's Steve?
爸爸 别再幻想你的好朋友史蒂夫了
Dad, enough about your imaginary friend Steve!
那些猎鹿人给了我一些鹿肉
Well, the deer hunters dropped off some deer meat,
-于是我做了鹿肉卷 -好吧
- so I made deer-loaf. - All right!
很高兴我们谈过了话 亲爱的
I-I'm glad we had that talk, dear.
我已经受够鹿了
I've had enough deer.
我要去试着看看我的屁♥眼♥
I'm gonna try and go look at my butthole.
晚安 爸爸
Good night, Papa.
晚安 鹿仔
Good night, my Deerboy.
再见 我的鹿妻
And goodbye, my deer wife.
一只会说话的鹿 还有大脚怪
A talkin' deer and a bigfoot?
不不不 别开枪
No, no, no, no! Don't shoot!
你们的头挂在我墙上一定很好看
Your heads are gonna look great mounted on my wall.
谢谢 狗狗
Thanks, dog.
你介意帮我照看一会鹿仔吗
you mind watching my Deerboy for a bit?
我和我的新欢想单独待一会
Me and my new broad could use some alone time.