现代爱情

我觉得我的守护神是海豚
I think my Patronus is a dolphin.
-海豚 我喜欢 -海豚很酷
- Dolphin. I like that. - Dolphins are cool.
是啊 它们很酷
Yeah, they are cool.
它们有超乎人类的情感
They have, like, superhuman emotions.
你知道它们是除人类外
Did you know that they're the only animal
唯一会为了获取快♥感♥而做♥爱♥的动物吗
other than humans to have sex for pleasure?
-什么 你怎么知道 -是的
- What? How do you know that? - Yeah.
-你为什么会知道 -我不知道
- Why do you know that? - I don't know.
既然你被约的概率是93%
So have you ever dated anyone
那你跟别人约会过吗
since you're 93% dateable?
没有 那你呢
Uh, no. No. Have you?
没有 我被约的概率大概是零
Oh, no. I'm probably zero percent dateable.
是我妈
Oh, that's my mom.
我家离这只有5分钟路程 她还是坚持
We live about five minutes away, and she still insists
-开车到处接送我 -是啊 我妈也是
- on driving me everywhere. - Yeah, mine, too.
我家离这4个街区
We're literally, like, four blocks away.
我住在126大街和107大街交界处
I'm on 126th and 107th Ave.
-我不知道你... -天啊
- I don't know if you're... - Oh, my God.
-我住在124大街和自♥由♥街交界处 -我不...
- I'm on 124th and Liberty. - I don't...
-好像 我... -不 我们离得非常近
- That's, like, I... - No. That's, like, really close.
-真的吗 -我们家之间
- Really? - We're only, like, a couple blocks
-只隔了几个街区 -那太好了
- down from each other. Yeah. - Oh, that's really cool.
-真的吗 -真的
- Really? - Yeah.
我妈在那 明天见
That's her. See you tomorrow.
再见
Bye.
-慢一点 -抱歉
- Slow down! - Sorry!
-我要疯了 -绝对是米兰达
- Driving me crazy. - Definitely Miranda.
-她身上全是灰 -好了 她来了
- She's pretty dusty. - Okay, here she is.
安珀 告诉我我们要去哪
Amber, just tell me where I'm going.
你好 很抱歉 拖堂了一会儿
Hi. Hi. I'm so sorry. Class ran a little late.
左转还是右转 凯瑟琳
Left or right? Kathryn!
如果我给你打电♥话♥你不接
Why do you have a phone if you're not gonna
-那你还要手♥机♥干什么 -左转
- answer it when I call you? - Uh... it's a left.
左转 谢谢
Left. Thank you.
凯瑟琳 你至少可以给我回个信息
Kathryn, you could at least text me back.
这就是给你
That's the whole point of why
用手♥机♥的意义啊
you have the thing in the first place.
抱歉 我刚才正在
Uh, sorry. I was just talking
跟瓦谢尔老师聊我的戏
to Ms. Vacher about my scene.
姆希
天啊 你是死了吗
我甚至不知道你在哪 这真是罪过
我说这是罪过
凯特
凯特特
凯特凯特凯特
天啊 你在干什么
你在哪
凯特你在哪
安珀 你能给珍娜的妈妈
Amber, can you get, uh, Jenna's mom
打个电♥话♥ 告诉她我们要迟到20分钟吗
on the phone and tell her we're gonna be 20 minutes late?
她叫辛西娅 凯瑟琳 系好安全带
Uh, Cynthia. Kathryn, put your seat belt on.
-辛西娅的首字母是C还是S 还是... -不
- Is it a... is it a "C" Or an "S" Or a... Cynthia? - No, no, no.
是C开头 CYN
"C." C-Y-N.
我手♥机♥也没什么电了
My battery was running a little low, too,
所以我不想给你发信息 抱歉
so I just didn't want to text you. Sorry.
今天你必须上车
Today is the day that you had to be in the car,
亚莉克莎
你有空吗
没 英语课
我想跟你再聊聊日本动画
放学约
我忘记问你要参加今晚的留宿活动吗
我需要你的消息
and I need to hear from you.
别忘了
Don't forget.
不不不 给她发信息就好 辛西娅
No, no, no. Just text her. Cynthia.
好 我看见了 好了 继续吧
Okay. Oh, I see. Okay, there we go.
现在我要做什么
Okay, now what should I do?
好啊
好了 告诉她 我们要...
All right, tell her, we're g...
我们要迟到20分钟
we're gonna be 20 minutes late.
说真的 凯瑟琳
I mean, seriously, Kathryn,
我给你买♥♥手♥机♥的原因是
the reason why I got you the phone
我可以和你保持联♥系♥
is so that I could be in touch with you,
而不是让你可以给姆希和露西发十倍的信息
not so you could write to Moush and Lucy ten times.
这就是我们的睡袋
This is what we have.
-上面裂了条大口子 -没人会注意到的
- Massive rip in the top. - Nobody is gonna notice.
走开
Move.
瞧啊 这就是我们的睡袋
Look, this is the sleeping bag that we've got.
凯特 别进我房♥间
Katie, do not go into my room.
妈妈 我不能带那个睡袋
Mom, I can't take that one.
你看看这里 这裂缝
Here. Look. It's not even
-根本就没那么大 -我不能带 不能
- that big of a rip. - I can't. I can't.
就是个小缝 有些线头跑出来
It's just this little thing with the fuzz coming out.
-我可以帮你缝好它 -太丑了
- I can sew it for you. - It's gross, and there's
-有条大缝 它... -我不知道为什么
- a huge rip, and it just... - Well, I don't why
我在你去学校前半小时
I'm finding out about it now a half hour before
才知道你需要一个
you're supposed to be at the school that you need
-全新的睡袋 -因为你从不在家
- a brand-new sleeping bag. - 'Cause you're never home,
每当你回来 你总是在学习
and when you are home, all you're doing is studying,
-学习 学习 -你说什么 好吧 凯瑟琳
- studying, studying. - Excuse me?! All right, Kathryn.
-我没时间说这个 -你根本不关心我
- I don't have time for this. - You don't care
也不关心什么对我来说很重要
about me or what's important to me.
安珀 请问我能用你的睡袋吗
Amber, can I have your sleeping bag, please?
她不能拿我的睡袋
She cannot take my sleeping bag!
你得把这些都收拾干净
You're gonna have to clean all this up.
-不能把这一团乱丢给我 -...去爸爸家
- Can't leave this big mess for me. - ...and go to Dad's,
我早就该这么做了
I could've done this beforehand.
-好吗 -不能拿我的睡袋
- Okay? - Can't have my sleeping bag!
你要是想去你♥爸♥爸家...
If you want to go to your father's...
-你说什么 是谁付钱的 安珀 -我之前是想去
- What? Who paid for it, Amber? - I wanted to before,
-但你不让我去 -那好吧
- but you wouldn't let me! - Then, fine.
去你♥爸♥爸家需要一小时
It takes an hour to get to your father's.
你可以去 也可以不去
You could go or you can miss it.
我以为你只是和姆希还有露西去
I thought you were just going with Moush and Lucy.
我不知道你为什么要些光鲜亮丽的东西
I don't know why you need something fancy.
看 这条更新一些
Here. Look. This one is newer.
不 这条睡袋上有个巨大的小猪佩奇
No. That is a ginormous Peppa Pig sleeping bag.
好吧 那我们就把它翻一面
Okay, so we'll turn it inside out.
好了 看 没有了
All right, look, there's nothing in here.
这是紫色的
It's purple.
还是能看到粉红色小猪佩奇的拉链
Still see the pink Peppa Pig zipper.
我不是九岁的小孩
I'm not a nine-year-old.
那么 我们把它盖起来 或者拿个东西...
Well, then, we'll just cover it up, or take the thing...
我不知道为什么一切要这么...
I don't understand why everything has to be so...
我绝不会带那条东西
There's no freaking way I'm taking that thing
-去留宿活动 -凯瑟琳
- to the lock-in. - Kathryn!
-凯特 -嗨
- Katie! - Hey!
老兄 我他妈的还以为你死了
Dude, I thought you were freaking dead!
我都要打电♥话♥给警♥察♥了
I was about to call the cops.
-你们不玩吗 -不
- You guys aren't playing? - Oh, no.
-躲避球最不好玩了 -不玩
- Dodgeball is the worst. - No.
丹尼尔先生说我们很快就要
Mr. Daniel said we're gonna play capture the flag soon
-在整个校内玩夺旗游戏 -你在逗我吗
- all over the entire school. - Are you kidding me?
我真的要请求换去别的颜色的队
I'm seriously gonna ask to switch colors
因为说实话绿队没人擅长运动
'cause, legit, no one on green is athletic.
没有人平时是运动员
Like, none of the guys do sports.
-真的吗 -是的 他们全是
- Really? - Yeah. They got all
-运动健将 -但你们看到杰克了吗
- the athletic guys. - Oh, but did you see Jake?
他整个夏天长高了很多
He had a major grow-up over the summer.
好吧 但基本只有杰克 这...
Okay, kind of, but just Jake. That is...
-不 还有查理 -还有人饿了吗吗
- No, there's also Charlie. - Is anyone else hungry?
-我... -你们全是...
- I... - You got all the...
收齐其他三支队伍的旗子
Collect all three of the other team's flags.
禁止上二楼
the second floor is off-limits.
-好的 -好的
- Yes! - Yes!
大家跟我一起说
Can everyone say that with me?
二楼禁止入内
The second floor is off-limits.
好 任何人都不能跑上楼