现代爱情

This is old-school.
像是中世纪的做法
Like something out of the Middle Ages.
如果这是命中注定
If it's meant to be,
我会在这与你见面
I'll see you right here,
28号♥第一班开往高威的火车
the first Galway train, 28th.
两周没那么长
Two weeks isn't too long.
两周飞逝而过
It'll fly by.
我现在真的很想亲你
I really want to kiss you now.
也许不该
We probably shouldn't.
我知道
I know.
万分感谢
Thanks a million!
滚吧
Jerk-off.
妈妈
Hi, my mum.
-宝贝 -你好
- Hi, baby. - Hi.
-你出汗了 -是啊
- You're sweating. - Yeah.
优步司机不帮我搬行李
The Uber driver wouldn't help me with my bags, so...
他不太优步[优秀] 是吧
Wasn't very Uber then, was he?
懂了吗 优秀[优步]
Get it? Uber.
我知道 我懂 不好笑
Yeah, I know, I got it. It's lame.
-你还好吗 -好极了
- How are you? - Fantastic!
-我在与世隔绝 -什么
- I'm cocooning. - What?
就是我不用见到我讨厌的邻居
Means I don't have to see any of the neighbors I hate.
这太棒了
It's wonderful.
你带葡萄酒了吗
Did you bring wine?
当然带了
Yeah, of course.
德克兰
Declan.
我知道你在等我
I see you were expecting me.
我以为你明天才来
Thought it was tomorrow.
每位客人都爱听这句话
That's a sentence every visitor loves to hear.
我喜欢你的打扮
I like the look.
有什么问题吗
What's wrong with it?
你看起来应该在维多利亚的海滩潜水
You look like you should either be diving on a Victorian beach
或者被大炮击中
or being shot out of a cannon.
你又要在这待多久
How long you staying for again?
我休假两周
I'm furloughed for two weeks.
怎么了 你是参军了吗
What, are you in the army now?
我们去音乐厅找几个妓♥女♥吧
Let's go to a music hall and find some whores!
好啊 至少你会打扮一下
Well, at least you're dressed for it.
好吧
All right.
进来吧
Come on in.
反正我也打算好好打扫空房♥间
I was gonna give that spare room a deep cleaning anyway.
你还好吗 兄弟
How are ya, bro?
与世隔绝到底是什么意思
So, what exactly is cocooning?
就是完全封锁
It's total lockdown.
你甚至不能去商店
You're not even allowed to go to the shops.
就像闪电战一样
It's like the blitz.
但只有事态非常严重时才这样
But surely that's only if things get really serious.
他们还没实施 对吧
I mean, they haven't implemented it yet, have they?
没有 但他们要实施了
No, but they're going to.
传言说的
Rumor has it.
现在...
Now...
跟我说说火车上的那个男孩
you tell me all about this boy on the train,
我来卷根大♥麻♥烟
while I roll a spliff.
要么是这屋子变小了
Wow. It's either shrunk
要么是我比上次来这儿长大了
or I've grown since I was last here.
这屋只是因为我东西多而看起来小了些
It just looks smaller 'cause of me stuff.
这堆垃圾都是什么
What is all this crap?
就是些我在债务人那里找到的一些小饰品之类的
Just bric-a-brac I find in skips and that.
这个资本主义社会认为不值一文的东西
Stuff this capitalist society deems useless.
你就像一只旺布尔[回收垃圾注重环保的卡♥通♥人物]
So you're like a Womble.
这都是些好东西 伙计
It's all good stuff, man.
不管怎样...
Anyway...
这里有床吧
There's a bed here somewhere, right?
我一会儿就把这些都清理出去
I'll have all this cleaned out in a jiffy.
但我得给你拿新床单
But I do need to get you new sheets.
来吧
Come on.
我要吃早餐
I need breakfast.
我要午餐
And I, lunch.
她听上去很不错
She sounds great.
你有她的照片吗
Do you have a photograph of her?
没有 我为什么要有
No. Now, why would I do that?
我们心意相通 真的有感觉
We were connecting. It was real.
我为什么要拿她的照片
Why would I just take her photograph?
这样我就能看到她 她的社交账户呢
So I could see her. What about her socials?
-她有脸书账号♥吗 -我不知道
- Has she got a Facebook account? - I don't know.
-图享呢 -我不知道
- Insta? - I don't know.
-你能找到吗 -我不知道她姓什么
- Can you find out? - I don't know her second name.
你为什么不给她发短♥信♥
Why don't you text her?
我没有她的电♥话♥号♥码 邮箱地址或住址
I don't have her number or her email or her address.
那你是怎么联♥系♥这个女人的
So how are you gonna contact this woman?
我不联♥系♥
I'm not.
我们约好从现在算起的两周后
We arranged to meet on the Galway train on the 28th
28号♥在戈尔韦的火车上见面
two weeks from now.
这太他妈的浪漫了
That is so fuckin' romantic.
是吗
Right?
火车上的陌生人[《火车怪客》]
Strangers on a Train!
1951年老电影 讲述火车上认识的两个男人交换杀人
不过没有双重谋杀案
Except maybe without the double murders.
就更像《爱在黎明前》了
So more like Before Sunset, I was thinking.
我太爱这个故事了
I fucking love this.
-她绝不会出现的 -你怎么知道
- She's never gonna show. - How do you know?
因为你只和她在火车上见了大约两小时
Because you only met her on the train for, like, two hours.
她当然会出现 那是很深的羁绊
Of course she is. It was a deep connection.
她不会出现的 相信我 她是个女人
She's not gonna show. Trust me. She's a lady.
每天她醒来的时候 都会忘掉你一点
She's gonna wake up and forget a little bit more about you each day,
而与此同时 你却恰好相反
and meanwhile, you'll do the opposite.
这就是上帝创造电♥话♥号♥码的原因
This is why God invented phone numbers.
来让她一次次地想起你
To keep reminding her of you again and again.
这是军事行动
It's military.
你得一举拿下
You needed to close the deal.
你从来不是个果断拿下的人 迈克尔
You've never been a deal closer, Michael.
而可悲的是 这一直是我和你
And sadly, that has always been the difference
之间的不同之处
between me and you.
我认为他实际上是做广♥告♥的
I think he's actually in advertising,
但他称自己为"技术员"
but he calls it "tech."
你确定他靠谱吗
You sure about this guy?
我知道 理论上我应该挺讨厌他的
I know. On paper, I kind of hate him.
但这无关紧要
But it doesn't matter.
上帝
Oh, bless.
我觉得现如今太关注
I feel like there's so much pressure
匹配协调度了
around compatibility these days,
我们都应该是一样的
and all we have to have in common,
但不协调的好处呢
but what about the benefits of incompatibility?
你要是没有她的电♥话♥号♥码
If you don't have her phone number,
你怎么发色情短♥信♥
how are you gonna do some sexting?
我不想发色情短♥信♥
I don't want to do some sexting.
-她是个当代女性 -这难道不是重点吗
- She's a modern woman. - Isn't that the whole point
-难道拥有手♥机♥不就是为了这个吗 -是
-of having a mobile phone, though? - Yes.
这就是发明手♥机♥的全部理由 发色情短♥信♥
That's the entire reason they were invented: sexting.
这是一种复杂的联♥系♥
This was a complex connection,
不是火车上青少年勾搭
not some teen hookup on the train.
她非常迷人
She's... she is amazing.
我看了才知道
Eh, I'll be the judge of that.
她学什么的
What's she studying?
-她学中古史 -好吧
- She's a medievalist. - Okay.
就像...
So, like...
《权力的游戏》那一类的
Game of Thrones and stuff?
不错 我开始喜欢这女孩了
Cool. I'm starting to like this girl.
你去上大学快两年了
It's nearly two years that you've been at college,
你还没谈过恋爱
and you haven't met anyone.
我两个月内就睡遍了所有教职工
I'd slept with the entire faculty within two months.