现代爱情

现代爱情故事
我说真的 你不能说...
I'm actually dead serious. You cannot talk...
好吧 天啊 你跟凯特泰勒他俩一样
Okay, oh, my God, okay, you're like Katie and Tyler.
她和泰勒好配
Her and Tyler are meant to be.
我知道的啦
I know, know, know this.
-凯特 你和泰勒 -什么
- Katie. You and Tyler. - What?
-天啊 姆希 别说了 -我的天啊
- Oh, my God, Moush, stop. - Oh, my God!
-我不喜欢他 好吗 -不 狮子座和双鱼座
- I don't like him, okay? - No, a Leo and a Gemini
-超级般配 不是吗 -不是
- have to be together, right? - No!
-是的 必须是 -安珀 走啦
- Yes, they do. - Amber. Amber, come on.
-拜拜 -有次我和他亲了两分钟
- Bye! - I kissed him one time for two minutes.
我帮凯特做了测试
I took this quiz for Katie where it's,
她的灵魂伴侣是T
like, a soul mates one,
T是泰勒的首字母
and it ended up in T, T for Tyler.
-就是泰勒 -天注定啊
- For Tyler. For Tyler. - The universe is speaking.
-不是 -大自然母亲也表示赞同
- Okay, no, no, no. - Mother Nature is speaking.
-她想你俩早生贵子 -不
- She wants you to have his baby. - No. No.
-这命定的爱情 -太扯淡了吧
- It's meant to be. - Oh! Too far, too far.
这肯定超级好玩
Like, it's gonna be so much fun.
我要穿这件新的扎染运动衫
Like, I think I'm gonna wear this new tie-dye sweatshirt.
蓝色的 超好看
It's blue, so it's perfect;
跟所有人都特别搭
it's gonna, like, match everybody.
我花7块钱买♥♥的
And, like, I got it for, like, seven dollars.
我们约好了哦
Oh, we have to make a pact now, though, to sleep
要睡在一块 不然就...
next to each other, because otherwise...
我才不要睡你旁边
No shit I'm sleeping next to you.
不敢相信 天啊
I can't believe... Oh, my God.
快看泰勒的图享
Look at Tyler's Instagram.
他发了一张你的照片
He just posted a picture of you.
我就知道 他很喜欢你
I knew it. He likes you so much.
灵魂伴侣测试的T肯定就是泰勒
The T in the soul mates quiz is definitely Tyler.
-早跟你说了 -闭嘴吧
- I told you. I told you. - Shut up.
天啊 我才发现如果你嫁给泰勒
Oh, my God, I just realized that if you marry Tyler
我嫁给艾萨克 他俩又是最好的朋友
and I marry Isaac, they're best friends,
那我们不就成一家人了
which is gonna make us family.
我们两对可以一起跳婚礼第一支舞
And we're gonna share our first dance together.
但艾萨克跳舞完全不行
Ugh, but Isaac isn't a good dancer at all.
那就超级尴尬了
Like, it's gonna be really embarrassing.
-凯特 -怎么了
- Katie! - What?
我在说艾萨克跳舞很烂
I was talking about what a bad dancer Isaac is.
知道了
Yeah.
如果我要嫁给艾萨克
Okay, if I'm gonna marry Isaac,
我肯定得教他跳舞
I'm gonna have to totally teach him how to dance.
-如果他要跳舞... -那个女孩
- And if he is dancing... - That girl, um,
跳《动机》舞蹈的红队女孩
who is dancing to "Motivation"
-她跳得很棒 -我不知道
- on the red team is really good. - Uh, yeah. I don't...
我应该没跟她说过话
I-I don't think I've actually ever spoken to her,
她跟狄兹比较熟
but she hangs out with, like, Dez and...
她叫什么名字
What's her name?
亚莉克莎 她应该是...
Uh, Alexa. Yeah, she's got to be... Ugh.
姆希来电
我妈让我别打电♥话♥
Hey, my mom says I have to get off the phone
-得做作业了 -好的
- and do my homework. - Okay.
好的 拜拜 永远爱你哦
All right, bye. Love you forever.
好的 爱你
All right, love you.
你有多少可能是同性恋
周五晚上你做什么 去看变装秀 和另一半在一起 看电视 去夜店
选择一个同性恋代表
我就是想来看看你睡了吗
Hey, hi. Just wanted to see if you were up.
-好 -妈妈
- Yeah. - Mom!
我马上出去
Yeah, I'll be right there!
睡前想喝点水吗
Do you want some water before you go to bed?
好的
Uh, sure.
抱歉我又这么晚回来
I'm sorry I'm so late again.
真是乱
Such a mess.
居然已经十点了
I can't believe it's 10:00.
选择一个同性恋偶像
你最喜欢麦当娜的哪首歌♥
我不是很喜欢麦当娜
《时尚》
《拜金女孩》
《表达自己》
-学校怎么样 -挺好的
- Um, how was school? - It's fine.
姆希老师怎么样
How's little Miss Moush?
-她很好 -这是什么
- Great. - What's this?
辣椒酱 从食品储藏室后面翻出来的
Uh, chili, from the back of the pantry.
-你有加热过吗 -嗯
- Did you heat it up? - Yeah.
真了不起 你有分给安珀一些吗
Very impressive. Did you give some to Amber?
当然了
Of course.
这是什么 你脸上这个
Uh, what is this, on your face?
就是玩颜色大战弄的 我是蓝色
Oh, it's just for the color wars thing. I'm blue.
-这是贴纸吗 -对
- Is it a sticker? - Uh, yeah.
-睡觉前把它撕掉 -没关系的
- Take it off before you go to bed. - It's fine.
有关系 它会让你的皮肤没法呼吸
It's not good. It suffocates your skin.
好吧 晚安
Okay. Good night.
好 晚安
All right, good night.
-晚安 -说真的
- Night. - For real.
把灯关了
Turn off the lights.
-妈妈 -哎 我马上来
- Mom! - Yes, I'll be right there.
你最喜欢麦当娜的哪首歌♥
我不是很喜欢麦当娜
《时尚》
《拜金女孩》
《表达自己》
最后 选择一双袜子
你有多少同性恋成分
你有20%的同性恋成分
你绝对不是同性恋 但你或许有一点同性恋成分
我是...吗
或许这个小测试能告诉我
我不想再说第二遍
Don't want to have to repeat myself.
杰弗里和贾米勒 尼古拉斯和夏洛特
Jeffery and Jameela, Nicholas and Charlotte,
凯特和泰勒
Katie and Tyler.
舒特和本
Shut and Ben.
-杰弗里和贾米勒 -好 打赌
- Jeffery and Jameela. - All right, bet.
五分钟 我们再五分钟
Uh, five minutes. We got five minutes.
-好了 大伙儿 -到角落里去
- All right, you guys. - In the corner.
《罗密欧与茱丽叶》 我希望你们都记牢台词
Romeo and Juliet, and I want you to learn your lines.
-都提前做足准备 -瓦老师
- I want you to come in prepared. - Ms. V,
我们为什么不无性别选角呢
uh, why don't we do gender-neutral casting?
贾米勒
Jameela.
我觉得我们应该都让女生来演 不要男生
I feel like we should do all girl, no boy partners.
有时候跟异性合作
It's important to work with the opposite gender
也很重要 就比如说现在
sometimes; this is one of those times.
好了 我们走吧
All right, let's go.
就在那个又脏又破的贝果店旁边吗
...was right next to that gross old bagel shop?
会打发奶油奶酪的那家店
Where they would do whipped cream cheese?
我弟弟经常去那家店
So my brother also goes there,
其实很好吃的
and he's actually really good.
选择一种动物
-我也会去那家店 -真的吗
- I go there, too. - Oh, really?
-有点奇怪哦 -凯特
- That's kind of weird. - Uh, Katie.
我今天不能排练了
I won't be able to rehearse today,
因为放学后我练习跑酷要练到四点半
'cause after school I have parkour till 4:30.
她周末有空排练
She could totally do this weekend.
但是 我们不是只在学校排练吗
Um, but, like, aren't we just rehearsing at school?
对 但是
Yeah, but...
是啊 但是你想演好这一幕吧
Yeah, but you want the scene to be good, right?
对
Yeah.
好吧 没问题 我们就 这周末排练吧
Uh, yeah, sure. Uh, let's do, like, this weekend.
-随便几点 我都有空 -太好了 我私信你
- Anytime, I'm free. - Awesome, I'll DM you.
德里克 我看见你了
Derek, I see you!
-不不 -那太可耻了
- No, no. - It's too scandalous?
我太可耻了
I'm too scandalous.
AP年级 你们坐这两排
A.P., you are in these two rows.
只坐这两排
These two rows only.
选择一件夹克
你是无性恋吗
你是无性恋
无性恋者不会对他人表现出性♥欲♥望 对性行为也没有兴趣
你在手♥机♥上看什么
Hey, what are you doing on your phone?
没什么
Uh, nothing.
真没用 还有谁有别的方法
Useless. Does anybody else have another idea
进入圈子里吗