现代爱情

改编自纽♥约♥时♥报♥《现代爱情》专栏
部分剧情为虚构
明妮·德瑞弗
现代爱情故事
休斯先生 请躺在检查桌上
Mr. Hughes, will you get up on the table for me?
-不 -奖励你棒棒糖呢
- No, no. - Would you do it for a lolly?
好的 轻轻握住
Good. Hold that very gently.
好了 可以了
Okay. There you go.
-约翰怎样 -他很好 谢谢
- How's John? - He's grand, thanks. Yeah.
血压飙升哦
Spiked.
开玩笑的
Well, only joking.
喂
Yeah?
科琳医生 有位妈妈来了
Dr. Curran, I have a mom on the phone
她四岁的孩子发烧了
with a four-year-old with a temperature.
我知道挺晚了 我回复她会问一下
I know it's late. I said I'd check, just in case.
为什么找我
Well, why me?
只有你还在诊所
You're the only one still here.
我可以安排到明早
I could put it off till the morning.
应该不严重 热度也不算高
I'm sure it's not serious. It's not that high.
-多少度 -稍等
- Well, how high is it? - Hold on.
三十九度
Thirty-nine.
让她进来吧
Send her in.
这是抗生素的处方
Here's a script for antibiotics,
以防周末出什么问题
just for the peace of mind for the weekend.
只有在用了扑热息痛都不能退烧的时候
Only use them if you can't keep his temperature down
-才给他吃抗生素 好吗 -好的
- with paracetamol, okay? - Okay.
我都在 如果担心就打给我
And I'm around. Just call me if you're worried.
你有我家的电♥话♥ 拜拜 小宝贝
You have my home number. Goodbye, little chicken.
-晚安 洛琳 -晚安 科琳医生
- Night, Lorraine. - Good night, Dr. Curran.
别 加把劲
No. Come on, girl.
千万别这时候出问题
Not now. Please.
真操蛋
Fuck my life.
我们不能再这样见面了
We need to stop seeing each other like this.
我忍♥不住要打给你
I can't stop calling you.
我忍♥不住要接你电♥话♥
And I can't stop picking up.
我把你号♥码加入快速拨号♥了
I've got you on speed dial.
你买♥♥了辆三十年的古董跑车
Well, it serves you right for owning a 30-year-old sports car
还一时兴起才开出来 这是应该做的
and only driving it when it tickles your fancy.
这些车得多开 科琳医生
These cars want to be driven, Dr. Curran.
我只有天气好的时候才开出来
Well, I only take it out when the weather's nice.
-车顶漏水啊 -引擎盖打开
- I mean, the roof leaks. - Pull the bonnet.
你妈妈怎样 杰瑞
How's your mom, Jerry?
老样子呗
Oh, you know. Same old.
她的新家挺好
The new place is nice for her.
帮我问候她
Send her my best.
跟她说我这周末去看她
Tell her I'll drop by this weekend to see her.
她看到你肯定很高兴
Your visits mean a lot to her.
我喜欢见到她
I like seeing her.
车怎么样
So what do you think?
抱歉告知你 医生 你的车不行了
I hate to break it to you, Doctor. Your car is dying.
胡说 她只是需要些关爱
No. She just needs some TLC.
她才四十岁 比我都年轻
She's 40 years old. You know, she's younger than me.
比你年轻
You.
用人类年纪算也许没错 但以车的年纪来看
Yeah, in human years, maybe, but in car years,
说她经典吧 她又太年轻
she's too young to be truly classic,
说她实用吧 她又太老
and she's too old to be practical.
她正在经历中年危机
She's just having a midlife crisis.
我得给她开点佳乐定
I'm gonna give her some Xanax.
不幸的是 得送这车最后一程了
So, unfortunately, this car needs to make its final journey
-去报废厂 -不可能
- to the scrap heap. - Never.
你修车可是妙手回春
You can really bring these things back to life.
我是行 但修完就破产了
Yeah, and go completely broke in the meantime.
古董车只能让你高兴两天
You know, the best two days you have with a vintage car
买♥♥的那天和卖♥♥的那天
are the day you buy it and the day you sell it.
这两天之间都是麻烦
Everything in between is just a heartache.
放弃吧 医生
You need to give up on her, Doctor.
它不是你的病人
She's not one of your patients.
让我看看还有没有多余的风扇皮带
Oh, let me see if I have another fan belt.
在一条蜿蜒的小路上
驾驶着敞篷车
但开在路上听着太棒了
Oh, but it sounds good out on the road...
开车听这个很合适
It's good driving music.
这是实话
That's the truth.
因为你喜欢开车听这个所以我也喜欢
I liked it 'cause you liked it as driving music.
不知道 我听不惯年轻人听的那些
I don't know. I can't listen to any of the young stuff.
不 也不对
No, that's not true...
我很喜欢杜娃·黎帕
I love Dua Lipa.
但他会开车
But he would drive...
他是最伟大的
He was the greatest there was...
我喜欢
I do.
-我回来了 -嗨 妈妈
- I'm back! - Hi, Mom!
-你在哪儿呢 -在客厅
- Where are you? - In the sitting room.
你按我说的画了爸爸的画吗
Did you draw a picture of Daddy like I asked?
嗯 我还画了你和房♥子
Yes, and I drew you and the house, too.
-你给爸爸画了大大的耳朵吗 -画了
- Did you give him big ears? - Yes, I did.
真棒 让我看看
Good. Let me see.
我最喜欢那张
I love that one the best.
这是你在从树上摘苹果做沙拉
That's you picking an apple off the tree for salads.
-就像夏娃一样 -摘苹果做沙拉
- Oh, you're like Eve. - Apple for salads.
-夏娃 你就像夏娃 -不像
- Eve. You're like Eve. - No.
-你画得太棒了 -太棒了
- Well done in your amazing painting! - Oh, painting.
为蛋糕举杯 为你的画作举杯
Here's to the cake, here's to the painting.
敬梅丽莎 小艺术家
To Melissa, the artiste.
先看看我跟他的父母
Let's just see how I get on
相处得怎么样吧 好吗
with his parents first, shall we?
好 当然了
Oh, yeah. Sure.
妹妹怎么样
How's my sister?
她在破坏厨房♥
Well, she's destroying the kitchen
"做蛋糕"呢
"making a cake."
嗨 姐姐
Hi, sis.
嗨 妹妹
Hey, baby sis.
给我写信
Send me a letter.
我会给你寄蛋糕
I'll send you some cake.
什么样的蛋糕
What kind of cake?
好了 我要挂了 我和康纳要去喝酒
Okay, got to run. Me and Connor are going for drinks.
给我写信 我爱你们
Write me. I love you.
我爱你
Oh, I love you.
我想多听听他的事
And, oh, I want to hear more about him.
你 你能
Would-would you...?
好吧
All right.
健身房♥会员
Gym membership,
没了 我们去路上跑步吧
gone. We hit the streets.
-没问题 -话说起来
- Done. - Which brings me to...
-你的雄鹿车 -那方面没有开销
- The Stag. - Oh, well, there's no expense there
因为我很少开它
'cause I hardly ever use it.
老婆 我看了你的信♥用♥卡♥记录
Honey, I've seen your credit card receipts.
光是今年你就在
You've spent 1,200 this year alone
维修和零部件上花了一千二
on breakdowns and parts.
你看我的信♥用♥卡♥记录干什么
Well, what are you doing going through my credit card receipts?
你给我让我报税来着
You gave them to me to do our taxes?
-顺便 不用谢 -谢了
- You're welcome, by the way. - Yeah. Thanks.
那你的船呢
Well, what about your boat?
能卖♥♥个几万块呢
You know you could get a couple grand for that.
好吧 行吧
Okay. Fine.
别 别别别别别别别
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
别这样 别这样
Oh, come on. Come on.
不要 别这样 求你了
Oh, no, not again. Please?
求你了 求你了
Please? Please?
该死的
God... damn it.
我要换手♥机♥号♥ 除非你卖♥♥掉这辆车
I'm changing my number until you get rid of this thing.
你好
Hello?
是的
Yeah.
不好意思
Excuse me.