现代爱情

how to get up into the circle?
-真酷 -好
- Lasers! - Good.
伊丽莎白 伊丽莎白
Elizabeth! Elizabeth!
先生 你见过我那神奇的
Good sir, have you seen my magical,
超强力万能酒剂吗
super-strength wine elixir?
与此同时 在城♥堡♥里
Meanwhile, up in the castle,
这只蜥蜴会长大 并成为我的伴侣
this lizard shall grow and be my companion
除非你踩到它了
unless you step on it.
-有只蜥蜴 -在哪 这里
- A lizard! - Where is it? There!
我亲爱的女儿
My dear daughter!
有个非常糟糕的消息
The news I have is terrible indeed.
罂粟花被盗了
The poppy has been purloined.
请大家都回到草地上去
Gonna need everybody back up on the grass, please.
都回到草地上
Everybody's on the grass.
就像给皮肤做ASMR
It's, like, ASMR for your skin.
队伍很庞大 这是阿莉莎
It's a massive line, we got Alyssa here.
你好啊 阿莉莎
Hey, yo, Alyssa.
好吧 但我没画眼线
Okay, but I'm not wearing any eyeliner.
肯定没有
Absolutely not.
那么 你们觉得演出怎么样
So, what did y'all think of the show?
-感觉怎么样 -很好
- How we feeling? - Great.
简直是折磨 我...
It was a slap. I was...
明天我们学校有留宿活动
Okay, and then we got the lock-in at school tomorrow.
-我们都要在体育馆睡觉 -我好激动
- We got everyone sleeping in the gym. - I'm so excited.
-对了 这是我另一个朋友露西 -宝贝
- This my other girl Lucy, by the way. - Hi, babe.
好了 这是凯特
Anyways, and this is Katie.
-省吾 -这是什么鬼
- Sho-go. - Now, what the hell was that?
-一种站立姿势 -是一部动漫里的
- It's-it's a Dachi stance. - It's from an anime.
你不知道空手道吗
You don't know karate?
出自她其中一部卡♥通♥片
It's from one of her baby shows.
-我不知道那是什么玩意 -是卡♥通♥片
- I don't even know what the hell... - It's a baby show.
不是卡♥通♥片 是动漫
It's not a baby show. It's anime.
对不起 我爱你
I'm sorry. I love you.
只是一个叫《百变之星》的无聊节目
It's just a dumb show called Kaleido Star.
-它叫什么 -那东西太奇怪了
- What's it called? - That shit is weird.
动漫
Anime?
不 我是说 你刚才提到
No. I mean, what was the name of the show
-那部剧的名字 -《百变之星》
- that you mentioned? - Oh. Um... Uh, Kaleido Star.
-是什么 -动漫
- What is this? - Anime?
-像动画片 -是日本卡♥通♥片
- It's, like, animation. - It's Japanese cartoons.
里面的人物眼睛都很大
They have the really big eyes.
等下 你看过《黑执事》吗
Have you seen... Wait, have you seen Black Butler?
-没有 那是什么 -好吧 那个
- No. No, what's that? - Okay, that-that one's
那部是我的最爱 故事讲的是
my favorite. It's about this boy
一个男孩为了报复那些杀害他家人
who signs a Faustian contract with a demon
并折磨他的人
to get revenge
和恶魔签订了
on the people who have murdered his family
-浮士德契约 -好黑暗
- and then tortured him. - That's so dark.
-听起来不错 -我觉得你会喜欢的
- That sounds cool. - I think you would like it.
等一下 你叫什么
And, um... Wait, what was your name?
-我还不知道你的名字 -凯特
- I didn't get your name. - Uh, Katie.
凯特 好的 我是亚莉克莎
Katie. Okay. I'm Alexa.
我听说过《百变之星》
So, no, I've heard of Kaleido Star,
但还没看过
but I haven't seen it.
我很小的时候看过《爱丽丝学园》
I watched Gakuen Alice when I was a lot younger.
-我也是 -棒
- Yes. Yes. - Okay, cool.
-好的 -没什么人知道那个
- Yeah. - Like, nobody knows that one.
-太疯狂了 -我也不知道
- This is crazy. - Hey, I don't know
还有谁看过这部作品
anyone else who's watched it, either.
我所有的朋友都认为
Yeah, and, like, all my friends think I'm, like,
我看动漫太蠢了
super stupid for watching anime.
-真的吗 -但他们甚至都没看过
- Oh, really? - But they haven't even seen,
任何动漫 他们不能评判我 你懂吗
like, any anime, so they can't really judge me, you know?
-但是 -好了 大家快过来
- But, um... - All right, everybody. Let's get down
照集体照 快点 集体照
for a group picture, please! Group picture!
我觉得挺好的
That's really neat, by the way.
安珀 我为什么要这些东西
Amber, why would I take those? Stop touching
-别碰我的东西 出去 -好啦
- my stuff! Get out! - Fine!
选择你的同志偶像
你最喜欢的麦当娜歌♥曲是哪一首
最后 选择一双袜子
你是同志的可能性为0%
你有没有
Have you, um...
演过莎士比亚的剧本
Have you done any Shakespeare before?
没有
Uh, not really.
那你有没有看过
Have you, um, looked at the...
同学们 用上你的字典
You guys, use your dictionary.
我进火花笔记网看看
I'll just pull up the SparkNotes.
亚莉克莎
现在有空吗
-好吧 -看看你们能不能想出来
- Okay. - See if you can figure it out.
-这太蠢了 -我们要不要 不知道
- This is so stupid. - Should we, uh... I don't know.
要不要把台词背好
Should we try to memorize it?
好的 如果你想的话
Yeah, if that's what you need to do.
等等 我来了
Hold on. I'm coming.
没空 文学课
好 你收到我给你发的消息了吗
Coolio. Uh, did you get my DM?
我说周末我们一起出去
About us hanging out over the weekend.
因为要排练...
Uh, 'cause of rehearsing the...
你来不了的话
If you... If you can't,
唉 本来想再跟你聊聊动漫的
也没事的
that's okay. Um...
我明白
I understand.
不是的 可以
Um... No, uh, yeah.
我可以去
Yeah, I would really...
-真的吗 -我很愿意
- Really? - I would really, really love to.
-太棒了 -嗯
- Awesome. Okay. - Yeah.
除非你想在留宿活动排练
Um, unless you want to rehearse it in the lock-in,
-因为我们俩都是蓝队的 -不可能
- since, you know, we're both blue. - No way.
那太糟糕了
That sounds awful.
对 你说的没错
Yeah, you're right. Um, okay, let's...
她给我说她会离开一小会儿
She told us that she was gonna be gone for a while,
但我没想到她一整夜没回家
but I didn't expect it to be overnight,
于是我们就过去了
so we came here.
发现她出了严重的车祸
And she'd been in this, like, terrible car accident.
-什么 -这对我们来说是严重的打击
- What? - It was... It was traumatizing, really.
她在医院住了两周左右
And she was there for, like, another twoish weeks.
这件事说得太久了 抱歉
Um, but that was, like, a really long story. I'm sorry.
没事 你妈妈还好吗
No, really, is your mom okay now?
没事了 她现在很好
Oh, yeah, no, she's totally fine.
但是她现在不得不辞职
Just basically made her, like, quit her job
重新审视她的人生
and reevaluate her whole life, but...
她现在去医学院上学了
Uh, she's in med school now,
她几乎
and she's almost...
这东西太蠢了
These things are so stupid.
你接电♥话♥吧 密♥码♥是多少
Here, you can take it. What's the combination?
It's, uh, 15-42-3.
妈妈
有电♥话♥就接吧
You can take it.
是诈骗电♥话♥
It's just spam.
你可约会的程度是93%
-这是什么 -不要
- What's this? - No.
这什么都不是
No, it's nothing.
-所以你可约会的程度是93%吗 -不是
- Is it true you're 93% dateable? - No. No.
这是我朋友逼我做的
My friend made me do this,
这不是我自愿的
and it was not willing, and it's...
你喜欢牵手 谈感想
"You love holding hands, talking about feelings,
-你已经准备好陷入爱河了 -不是
- and you're ready to fall in love." - No. No.
不不不 这东西太扯了
No. No. No, no. These things are so ridiculous.
好吧 我前几天做了一个测试
Okay? I did one the other day
它说我的守护神是比格犬
about how my Patronus is a beagle.
这太扯了因... 不
Which is ridiculous bec... No.
不 比格犬太弱了
No, beagles are so lame.
-不 才不是 -你有想过
- No, they're not. - Do you ever think
-比格犬吗 -它们很可爱
- about beagles? - They're so sweet.
不 好吧 也许吧
No. Well, maybe.