神经马龙（2017）

On the best day of my life?
马龙
Marlon!
我带他离开一下
Excuse us.
不是 小艾
Come on, Ash.
你的嘴怎么这么缺德
Why are you being so mean?
我嘴上留德了
I wasn't being mean.
我本来想说她长得就像青蛙科米I was gonna say she looked like Kermit when he sips the tea,
《大青蛙布偶秀》 搞笑节目
但我不想...
but I didn't wanna--
伊维特
Yvette.
我和马龙决定
Marlon and I have decided to give you
这周六晚上给你办一个订婚欢送宴
a going away engagement party this Saturday night
马龙承包所有费用
and Marlon wants to spare no expense.
她胡说呢...
She lying--
谢谢 小艾
Thanks, Ash.
马龙 我们得出手啊
Marlon, we have to do something.
男人间有规矩 我们啥都不能做
The man code requires us to do nothing,
啥都不能说
say nothing, okay?
就像是"着装礼仪"一样
Look, it's just like the dress code, right?
比如
Look...
如果你想穿得像个传统黑人♥大♥学的校长
If you want to dress like the president of a historically black university,
那就穿呗
man, go for it.
我有什么资格吐槽你的裤子像耶♥和♥华♥见证会的衣服
Who am I to tell you, you got Jehovah Witness pants on?
各位 我讲几句
Excuse me, everybody.
谢谢各位前来
Thank you, guys, for coming.
我要和我的挚爱搬去纽约了
I'm moving to New York with my love
但我的爱仍会温暖你们
but I'm leaving a big piece of my heart here.
我想感谢上帝以及所有...
And I want to thank God and all the little people that...
支持我走过这几年的人
you know, supported me through the years.
实力给自己加戏啊
My God, girl,
这是搬家还是发表"美国有色人种协进会"获奖感言啊
are you moving or winning an NAACP award?
艾什丽 你是我的好闺蜜
Ashley, you're my sister.
你家孩子就是我的小天使
Your babies are my little angels.
小史
And Stevie...
我会永远把你当兄弟来看
you will forever be like a brother to me.
好残忍♥ 没事 没事
Damn, you all right. It's all right.
没想到我会这么说...
And, I can't even believe I'm saying this, but...
我会想念那个混♥蛋♥马龙
I'm even gonna miss that big-headed Marlon.
你们都是我的家人
Y'all are my family.
你听见了吗 马龙
You hear that, Marlon?
她把我们当家人
She thinks we're family.
打你脸了 就问你疼不疼
How ridiculous is that?
德兄
Hey, D.
-恭喜啊 -谢谢
- Congratulations, bro. - Thank you.
-打扮很帅啊 -谢谢 谢谢
- Looking sharp. - Thank you, thank you.
瞧瞧你 抱得美人归啊
Look at you, taking people off the market and whatnot.
是啊 伊维特是个好女人
Yeah, well, Yvette is well worth it.
是啊 是啊
Yeah, man, yeah, yeah--
订了婚 就该收心了
You know, things change once you get a ring on it.
懂我意思吧 信我 我是过来人
You know what I mean? Trust me, I know.
这就表示 不能再跟你的"玩伴"去看湖人球赛了
It means no more little Laker games with little your friend,
懂我意思吧
you know what I'm saying?
懂 不能再看湖人的球赛了
Yeah, no more Lakers games,
但我认识一些喜欢纽约尼克队的"玩伴" 你秒懂吧
but I got some friends who like the Knicks if you know what I mean.
没人喜欢纽约尼克队
There ain't nobody that like no damn Knicks.
你说什么呢
What you talking about?
-猜猜看 -怎么了
- Guess what. - What?
我要学竖琴 在你婚礼上弹奏《空中丝带》
I'm learning to play "Ribbon in the Sky" on the harp for your wedding day.
团购网课
Groupon!
艾什丽 你知道你这是怎么回事
Ashley, I know what you're doing.
怎么了 我就是...
What? I'm just...
很替自己的姐妹开心
Excited for my girl.
你和马龙离婚之后 也这样疯狂上网课来着
I saw you do this after you divorced Marlon.
你上了即兴表演课 木偶制♥作♥课
You took an improv class, then puppet making,
你还带着我去坐了热气球
and then you even had my ass up in a hot air balloon.
说什么 "就让我们随风飘荡吧"
Talking about, "We land where we land."
你是逃避自己真实的情感
You're distracting yourself from feeling something.
别闹了 我逃避什么情感了
Come on. What do you think I'm feeling?
我也会想你啦
I'm gonna miss you too.
我爱你
I love you.
这个姑娘为了你 抛下了自己原有的生活
That girl's turning her whole life upside down for you
而你却一脚踏几船
and you just playing her like that?
这跟你有什么关系
And that involves you, how?
她是艾什丽的闺蜜
I'm just saying, that's Ashley's girl,
艾什丽的事 就是我的事
that's how it involves me.
你这么多管闲事
Well, how about I just bust your ass
是不是欠揍啊
for being up in my business?
你要... 你要
You gonna-- you gonna--
我就等着你说这句话呢
That's what I wanted you to say.
你跟我呛声
You gonna flare your nostrils at me?
你跟我叫板
You gonna give me dragon nose?
我收了你 小崽子 小爷收了你
I breathe you in, boy. I breathe you in, boy.
你有文身 就了不起啊
You think you tough because you got some tattoos on your body?
你文身画着 "微笑" "和平" "恩典"
Your tattoos say, "Smile," "Peace," and "Blessings."
"日安"
"Have a nice day."
你一个黑人 文什么身 谁能看清
How you gonna have tattoos when you all dark-skinned?
你得念出来 才有人知道
You gotta read your tattoos like brail.
上面是什么 节哀顺变 愿你奶奶安息
What they say? I'm sorry about your grandma, may she rest in peace.
我知道你一副斗牛犬的模样
I know you got--I know you got pit bull ears
但我不怕你 "狗哥"
but I ain't scared of you, dog.
我是杜宾犬
I'm a Doberman Pinscher.
我是大丹狗
I'm a Great Dane.
我是罗得西亚脊背犬
I'm a Rhodesian Ridgeback.
你惹上我 可没好结果
And you don't want none of this.
我可不好惹... 我闻...
You don't want-- I smell--
我闻到了害怕的气息
I smell the fear.
我闻到了你害怕的气息
I smell the fear in you.
没错 因为我是一头猛兽
That's right, 'cause I'm an animal.
我能闻到害怕的气息
I smell the fear.
别逼我跟你伸胳膊
You don't want none of this reach.
瞧我这胳膊 能伸这么远
Boy, look at that reach. Look at the reach.
我一拳出去
I connect right there. Bow!
就能把你打飞
You out already, dog.
你觉得你...
You think you--
你跟我摆出一副凶神恶煞的样子吗
You're gonna clinch your jaw at me?
这招我也会 你觉得你很壮吗
I'll clinch mine too. You think you so tough?
你以为可能因为你坐过牢 你就厉害了
You think you tough 'cause you've probably been to jail.
我也坐过牢
I've been to jail too.
因为罚单 坐了36个小时牢呢
36 hours for parking tickets, boy.
你不懂
You don't know about that.
你都不知道哥是混道上的
You don't know about the hard time.
你都不知道哥是混道上的
You don't know about the hard time.
我去召集我兄弟来对付你
Let me call my boys real fast for you.
警报 "布谷鸟"
Alert! Cuckoo!
"布谷鸟" "布谷鸟"
Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
我们帮派的弟兄已经收到信息了
The whole gang heard it.
四分钟之后 他们就会杀来了
Give me four minutes, they gonna be right outside.
来找你算账
Clapping on you, boy.
你肩宽了不起啊
'Cause you got a little shoulders on you.
你肩宽魁梧
'Cause your shoulders got shoulders
身强力壮 虎背熊腰 了不起啊
and your triceps is like, all triceptical and stuff.
你想来拼肌肉 我就跟你拼
You wanna get buff? I'll get buff with you.
我这肌肉说练出来就练出来了
You think-- and I'll get buff quick.
你觉得你很壮啊 看着像个女健美运动员
Think you all tough, looking like a female body builder.
行 行 你比我重
All right. All right, you got a little more weight than me.
我来增增重
Let me get my weight up.
来个三明治
Let me get a little sammich.
来点蛋白质 补充点蛋白质
Get a little protein. Get some protein in me.
小子 你打我啊
Boy. Now what?
我补充了营养 能撑还几天呢
I got nutrients. I go for days.
我补充好营养了
I got nutrients in me, boy.
我有点噎住了 我先喝口酒