神经马龙（2017）

Marlon S02E03

Part 4 July 10, 2020, 10:50 a.m.

是卷舌音师啊莎
And we spell it S- H- A- R- D- A- Y.
莎德
Sharday!
这才是正确读法而不是萨德[施虐狂]The way it's pronounced, not "Sade."
蕾诺拉你发来的短♥信♥
And Lenora, you know them little chain message you send around?
关于天使什么的
About the angels?
你猜怎么着
Well, guess what?
我根本没转给任何人
I don't send them to nobody.
我还是能遇见奇迹
And I still get miracles.
因为世人千千万上天就宠我就宠我
'Cause I am blessed and highly favored.
还有
And you know what?
我不喜欢冷水香水
I don't like Cool Water cologne.
我根本不用
I don't wear it.
闻起来一股骚臭味
It smells like sanny cakes that you piss on in the damn urinals.
像是穷屌♥丝硬装土豪的味道
Smells like poor people trying to smell rich.
还有扎克没有受洗礼
And you know what? Zack ain't baptized.
我让他割包皮了
I circumcised him.
我知道
Yeah, I know.
"这有违自然
"That's not natural!
太做作了"
That's asgusting!"
我可不会让我儿子长大后
No, you ain't gonna have my boy out there
下面皱皱巴巴像《芝麻街》里的毛象一样
with-- with no-- looking like a Mr. Snuffleupagus.
或像个食蚁兽
Or a damn anteater.
像穿了个高领衫和帽衫一样
No, looking-- with a turtleneck and a hoodie.
我可不想让他的小♥弟♥弟♥被人暴风嫌弃
I don't want him to have a gangster little thing-a-ding!
还有洛维
And, Lovie,
我不喜欢吃你的起司通心粉
I don't like your mac and cheese.
水太多了
It's too damn wet.
她会缓过来
She be a'ight.
我才不管
I don't really care
你下面的画风多么宏伟
if you look like Questlove down there
你的蛋蛋是否完全掉下来
and that ball done dropped.
我要踢爆你
I'ma bust your ass!
好吧
Well, you know what?
也许一直假装我们没离婚
Maybe pretending we were happily married
日子会太平一些
for the rest of our lives would have been easier.
不
No.
我们结婚之前我就该和她们说大实话
I should have been real with them before our marriage even started.
我很抱歉把你牵扯进来了
I'm sorry I put you through that.
马龙你不必道歉
Marlon, you don't have to apologize to me. Okay?
你为我挺身而出了
You fought for me.
对手是个女人你还被虐了
It was a woman. And you lost.
但你挺身而出了
But you fought for me.
另外你知道我会和你共同进退
Besides, you know I'm your ride or die.
心照不宣
Always.
如果你们揍我我就跟老妈告状
If you hit me, I'm gonna tell Mommy.
马龙我们就是想聊几句
Marlon, we just want to talk.
你们离婚我们很心痛
It hurts us to see both of you divorced.
但更心痛的是
But what hurts more is that
你都不能把此事告诉姐姐们
you couldn't come to your sisters and talk about it.
我知道你们多喜欢艾什丽
I know how much you guys love Ashley.
我就是不想让你们心塞
And I-- I-- I just didn't want to disappoint you.
对不起
And I'm sorry.
小子你比我想象中还傻
Boy, you stupider than I thought.
你跟艾什丽结婚
You marrying Ashley?
这只是我们为你骄傲的其中一件事而已
That's only one of the things we're proud of.
是啊你有自己的养老保险
Yeah. You got your 401K.
还生了一双可爱儿女
And those babies?
他们都不说脏话
They don't even curse.
是啊这都是艾什丽的功劳
Yeah, well that's all Ashley.
我几年来一直想让儿子说脏话从未成功过
I been trying to get the boy to say disgusting things for years.
马龙你是我心目中最慷慨的人
Marlon, you're the most generous person I know.
如果不是你把密♥码♥给了我
I wouldn't be able to stream my shows
我都没法当主播
if you didn't share your password.
马龙你是个好人
Marlon, you got a good heart.
你假装自己没离婚
You pretended to still be married,
对上帝神圣的礼节大不敬
making a mockery of God's most holiest institution,
就是为了不让我们心塞
just not to disappoint us.
你会为了我们下地狱
You're going to hell just for us.
是啊
Yeah, you are.
天
Damn.
我爱姐姐们
I love my sisters.
艾什丽快过来
Ashley, get your ass over here.
你个小瘦子赶紧过来
Yeah, get your little skinny behind over here, girl.
我们还是把你当姐妹
You know you still our little sister.
我们会一直为你骄傲
We're always gonna be proud of you.
而当你踩过界时
And when you step out of line,
我们还是会踢爆你
we're always gonna kick that ass.
好吧
Yeah.
比如马上就在游戏中虐暴他
Like we about to do in this spades game!
-不不 -等下
- No! No! - Wait a minute!
-别啊天啊 -没错
- No! No! - Yes!
你们不是吧
No, y'all didn't!