神经马龙（2017）
Marlon
第二季
剧集 | 神经马龙（2017） | 导航列表
神经马龙（2017）
Marlon S02E05
Part 3
July 10, 2020, 10:50 a.m.
Ashley,
我们都离婚了
we're divorced, right?
别再想方设法迁就彼此了
We don't have time to be playing no games.
你确定你能承受实话吗 马龙
Are you sure you can handle this, Marlon?
必须能
And you know this.
行
Fine.
我之前找了水管工修好了楼上的水槽
A plumber was here this weekend to fix the sink upstairs.
这就好 因为我当时在水槽下方睡着了
Good, 'cause I fell asleep under the sink.
我根本都没碰过
I ain't even touch it.
古典鸡尾酒 给罗伯托
One old-fashioned for Roberto.
谢谢
Thank you, sir.
迈泰鸡尾酒 给他亲爱的妻子 戴安
And a mai tai for his lovely wife, Diane.
谢谢
Thank you.
当心了 她可能稍后会跟你在床上"玩捆绑"呢[音同"迈泰You better be careful. She "Mai tai" you up later.
终于认识你了 真好啊 马龙
It is so nice to finally meet you, Marlon.
我也是啊
Well, likewise,
我想让你和整个物管会都知道
and I want you and the entire HOA to know
我是多么喜欢住在这么优秀的街区之中
how much I enjoy being a part of this darling community.
我喜欢你这里的装♥修♥风格
Well, I love what you have done in here.
谁是你的设计师
Who is your designer?
是我
Well, that would be me.
还有伊维特
And Yvette.
你好 我很高兴有人欣赏
Hello. And I'm glad someone loves it,
因为马龙可不喜欢
because Marlon sure doesn't.
抱歉提起这个话茬了
I am sorry I brought it up.
没事 他已经说了 他很不喜欢
It's okay. He already told me he hates it.
是啊 我和艾什丽离婚后 彼此坦诚相待
Yeah, Ash and I-- we have a very honest divorce.
懂吧
You know?
我们就是摆脱人设 说实话
We just keep it one-hun'e, right?
你们这些已婚人士
See, y'all married people,
必须恪守婚姻法则
y'all gotta abide by the politics of marriage.
我们不用再那么做了
We don't have to do that anymore, right?
是啊
Nope.
因为我把他踹出家门了
Because I kicked his ass to the curb!
是啊
She sure did.
她以光速打包好了我的行李
She had my bags packed so fast,
这服务速度 我不给小费都说不过去
I had to give her a tip, right?
说真心话 城会玩儿
Okay, keeping it 100. Interesting.
是"说大实话"
Yeah, it's hun'e.
大实话 我们也该玩一下
Hun'e. We should try that.
听起来像是你节目中的内容 马龙
Yeah. Sounds like something I'd hear on your YouTube channel, Marlon.
我是你的粉丝
I'm a huge fan, by the way.
哎呀呀 罗伯托
Rrrroberto!
"好亲故" 你真优秀
Tú este mi amigo.
你刚晋升为我最喜爱的邻居了
You just became my favorite neighbor.
这样吧 罗伯托
You know what? Roberto,
朕赏你来我家泡按♥摩♥浴
you have just earned yourself hot tub privileges.
没错
That's right.
卡尔
And Carl,
朕收回你的泡澡特权了
I'm revoking yours,
因为你在我浴缸内留了一圈污垢
'cause you left a ring in my tub!
这里还有按♥摩♥浴缸吗
There's a hot tub in here?
艾什丽 他总能把你逗笑吧
Ashley, he must crack you up all the time.
《马龙直播》 你最喜欢哪一集啊
What's your favorite "Marlon Way" video?
这个问题太简单了
That's easy. Th-this is easy.
我知道 我来说 她最喜欢的一集是
I know-- help you. Her favorite one is called
《如何让黑人别在电影院里大呼小叫》
"How to Tell Black People to be Quiet in the Movie Theater."
是个段视频
It's a real quick video.
镜头对准我 然后我说
It's just cameras on me, and I go,
"愿望太沉重 根本办不到"
"You don't!"
这肯定是新视频
Well, that must be a new one,
因为我从三年之前 就不再看你的节目了
because I stopped watching your videos like, three years ago.
我就是拖进度条到最后
I just scrub through till the end
给你刷浏览量
so you get credit for the view.
我称之为"看《马龙直播》的正确方式"
I call it "The Ashley Way of watching 'The Marlon Way.'"
我就是说实话而已
I'm just keeping it 100.
我也是啊
Yeah, and so was I
我是真心觉得
when I said you turned my house
你把的房♥子打造成《黄金女郎》了
into the set of "The Golden Girls."
美剧 讲述了几个老太太的爆笑故事
*感谢做我的好友*
*Yeah, thank you for being a friend*
该剧主题曲
你知道
Well, you know,
我给你重装房♥子时 我没想到
I didn't realize when I decorated your house
你要的风格是"遭遇中年危机
that you wanted the "Midlife crisis,
用实力装嫩 专捡二手货"
clinging to my youth, free on Craigslist" look.
神吐槽啊
Damn!
我闺蜜说了超级大实话啊[两百块]My girl is keeping it two hun'e!
是啊
Yeah.
比你廉价的裙子贵190块呢
Which is about 190 more than you paid for that cheesy dress.
"不关"怎样
Well, irregardless,
是你起的头儿
you're the one who started this,
你现在玩不下去了吧
and now, you can't handle it.
她说得对 马龙
She's right, Marlon.
脸皮薄 赢不了
Thin skin never wins.
行
Okay.
好
Okay.
玩起这一套了啊
This is what we do, huh?
今天"合伙欺负马龙"呗
It's Gang Up On Marlon Day?
行 我奉陪
All right, let's do this.
马龙 随口一说 别太当真
Marlon, we're just saying, you know?
别别 跟着一起吐槽了 就别想跑
No, no, no. You grin, you're in.
我们来吧
Let's do this.
小史
Stevie!
既然说大实话
Since we being one hun'e,
那你不如告诉伊维特
how about you tell Yvette
你有多反感她把好好的标准英语
how much you hate the way her wretched mouth
说得不伦不类
messes up the Queen's English
瞎说一些什么 "不关"怎样
with words like... "Irregardless."
"不关"这个词怎么了吗
What's wrong with "Irregardless?"
没啥 你好萌
Nothing. It's cute.
没有这种词而已
It's just not a word!
而且也没有
Yes, and neither is
"忒别"[特别]"Pecifically,"
"早反"[早饭]"Brecfix,"
"厚许"[或许]"Supposabably."
"万"或"温"[问]"Aksed," Or "Aks."
还有"莓书管" 提一下这个词
Say "Libary." Mention "Libary."
"莓书管"
"Libary."
他信口开河
He a lie.
你好大胆子 竟敢背后说我坏话
And how dare you talk about me behind me back?
我就当着你这个屌♥丝的面
I tell you you're a broke nerd
直接怼你是个屌♥丝
right to your broke nerd face.
百无一用是书生
Well, it's easy to talk about this nobody
当面遭遇暴风嫌弃 不稀奇
and tell him he ain't nothing.
他有自知之明
He knows that.
所以他这么大岁数了 还在我家沙发上借宿
That's why he's a grown man sleeping on a couch.
懂了吗
Well... Okay?
但你肯定不敢当面
But I bet you you won't tell Ashley
跟艾什丽讲你怎么说她的
what you say about her to her face.
马龙 别挑拨离间了
Marlon, now you're being ridiculous.
是吗
Really?
好吧
Well,
伊维特说她不得不戴着耳机去教堂
Yvette says she has to bring her earbuds to church
这样就不用听你的独唱了
so she ain't got to hear you sing your solo.
他也是满口胡话
He a lie, too!
那是我的"神迹之耳"[助听器]Those are my Miracle-Ears
这样我就能...
so that I can...
更好地听你唱了
hear you better.
她忽悠你呢
She a lie!
她说你唱的那个调
She said the notes you hit
任何乐器都演奏不出来
ain't even on a piano or any other instrument.
连18根琴弦的印度西塔琴都救不了你
Not even the Indian sitars with all the strings.
太魔性了
Nothing!
我唱得不好吗
I can't sing?
神经马龙（2017）
Marlon
剧集 | 神经马龙（2017） | 导航列表