梅普沃思谋杀案（2020）

Welcome. I can't tell you how excited I am
欢迎光临 你马上可以享受到纯正的
that you're going to be able to enjoy some authentic New Woodstream vino.
新伍德溪葡萄酒 我真的是欣喜若狂
Hi, Abigail. Hi, Heidi. Hello, Gilbert.
你好 阿比盖尔 你好 海蒂 你好 吉尔伯特
Are you working the party? Yes.
你在这工作吗 是的
I'm actually working security.
我负责安保
Last year, Martha Tweenis, the church organist, came in here,
去年教堂的风琴演奏玛莎·特威尼斯来过这
got real drunk, and started singing church hymns
喝得酩酊大醉 开始唱教堂赞美诗
but adding dirty words. Oh, dear.
但加上了不少脏话 是嘛
I had to escort her out of here, but she did a toddler drop--
我得把她送出去啊 但她还是跌了一个狗吃屎
Get to the point, Gilbert.
吉尔伯特 说正题
Enjoy the party, my queen. Thank you, Gilbert.
玩的开心 我的女王 谢谢你 吉尔伯特
Oh, stop it!
真是要命
Yeah, no, it's this new new cellphone, I loaded all up.
就这个新手♥机♥ 我把你需要的都下载进去了
I don't know why you made me get such a stupid device.
我不懂你为什么要让我买♥♥这么蠢的玩意
Would you be a dear and change the ring sound for me
你能帮我换个铃♥声♥吗
to something more appropriate?
找个合适我的
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you.
行 行 我知道了
Mapleworth on the cellular phone. Who is it?
我是梅保沃斯 您哪位
Hey, it's Jerry, your agent.
我是杰瑞 你经纪人
How is the book coming?
书写得怎么样了
Oh, it's going wonderfully.
进展顺利
Can't you hear me typing?
你听不到我在打字吗
Sounds like you are cranking it out.
听起来你是要把它弄出来不可喽
Oh, yes, I'll have pages for you by the end of the week.
当然 我会在周末前交稿
Well, you are the best in the business. And you're the best of the Jerrys.
那你真是在这行里最好的 你也是杰瑞家最好的
It's okay if need to go home and work on your book, Aunt Abigail.
如果你需要回家写书也没关系 阿比盖尔姑姑
Pigeon paste! You just moved here.
说什么胡话 你刚搬来
Let's have a little fun.
我们来找点乐子
Oh, you're always a good time, Aunt Abigail.
阿比盖尔姑姑 你总是这么开心
But I'm pretty sure this party's not gonna be fun.
但我很确定这个派对不会好玩的
Why? Just a little bit of juicy jazz.
为什么 一点有趣的爵士乐 仅此而已
Yes.
太好了
What a snooze fest. It's like the '80s had sex with the bible.
真是无聊 就像80年代的人跟圣经做♥爱♥一样
Well, New Woodstream has its share of interesting characters.
新伍德溪还是有一些有趣的角色的
Oh, chimp shit.
真是扫兴
Paige Wellington is here. She's the editor of the town paper, The Biweekly Monthly,
佩琪·惠灵顿 她是镇上每月双周刊报纸的编辑
and she's a real know-it-all pain in the pucker hole.
其实是一个假装博学的讨厌鬼
Paige! Mapleworth!
佩琪 梅保沃斯
What a beautiful polyester getup.
多漂亮的涤纶衣服啊
What lovely colorless neck balls.
多么可爱的黯淡颈球啊
Nice wig.
漂亮的假发
I'm Heidi. I'm her niece.
我是海蒂 我是她的侄女
Cute.
真可爱
I'd leave this dumb party,
我要离开这个愚蠢的聚会
but I'm doing a story on Julia Squift's rollout of her new rosé.
但我正在报道茱莉娅·斯奎夫特的新玫瑰红酒
Oh, I'm sure it will be interesting. She writes nonfiction.
我想一定很有趣 她是写散文的
it's better than a book full of snotty, made-up word garbage.
那也比一本满是下♥贱♥ 乱造的词组成的垃圾好
My God, what is that smell?
上帝 这是什么味道
It's horri-- Just-- Just accrid.
真是辣眼睛
It's making my eyes water.
都快流泪了
Paige...
佩琪
Who raised you? I didn't do it.
你吃什么了 不是我
I didn't do it!
不是我
Ripe.
时机真是刚刚好
It was me and it was intentional.
其实是我 故意的
You might not be well.
你这么干可能不太好
Oh, it's just a party trick.
只是个聚会上的小把戏
* What a friend we have in penis *
我们在秘密之处有一个朋友
* All the tip and shaft to share *
让我们感受直入云端之趣
Martha, you know you're not supposed to be in here.
玛莎 你知道你不应该在这里
Come on, let's go outside.
来来来 我们出去
No! We are-- Well-- I'm not going. We're all having a good time.
不出去 我们要在这好好玩
* Nearer my butt to thee
让我的臀部向你靠近
Gilbert, you are just mad because we went on that G-damned date
吉尔伯特 你是因为我们有那个糟糕的约会生气
and you weren't feeling it.
你没来感觉
Well, get over it, Gilbert, because all of this is not for you
算了吧 吉尔伯特 这一切都不是为了你
according to you. Gilbert!
在你眼里 吉尔伯特
I didn't know you were seeing someone.
我不知道你在和别人约会啊
Why don't you introduce us to your lovely, spirited gal?
你为什么不把我们介绍给这可爱活泼的女友呢
I am not his "gal."
我不是他的女友
I asked him out about 10 times,
我约了他十次
and finally I had to surprise-join him at his booth at the Waffle Closet.
最后我不得不给他一个惊喜 去他的华夫饼摊位
And we were having a wonderful time, until he noticed I was there.
我们玩得很开心 直到他发现我在那儿
And I was like, "Get off my jock, Gilbert."
我说 够了 别耍我了 吉尔伯特
Sounds like she wants to really funk your junk.
看来她对你有意思
Gilbert, I'm thrilled for you.
吉尔伯特 我真为你高兴
You deserve to be physically reciprocated.
你应该得到身体上的回报
No. I-- We-- I-- We--
不是这样的
We didn't do anything. I mean, I did something later.
我们什么也没干 我后来做了一点事
I put my Spanx in his mailbox.
我把我的塑身裤放进了他的邮筒
Oh, dear. Oh, Martha, Martha, Martha...
天哪 玛莎 玛莎
If you care about me at all, let's talk about this outside.
如果你真的在乎我 我们到外面谈吧
Oh, Martha, you know tongues are for honeymoons.
玛莎 舌头是度蜜月时用的
Let's go. Goodbye!
走吧 再见
I don't wanna go. I tricked you, I'm not gonna go.
我不走 我骗你的 我不走
Toddler drop.
这就是我说的 狗吃屎
This little crotch of mine I'm gonna let it shine
我要让我的小胯发光
No. Close it.
合上
Oh, this...
这真的是
Hello, gals.
你们好 天使们
Would you two like to try our best cab?
你们俩要不要坐我们最好的出租车
No, thank you. I drove my own car here.
不了 我开车来的
That is delicious. Oh, my turn.
真是美味 该我了
There's a spit bucket right here. No, thank you. We're good.
这里有吐痰桶 谢了 我们喜欢这样
Oh, here's the rosé
原来这就是新玫瑰酒啊
Thanks for that. Thank you.
谢了 谢谢
I just want to thank you all for coming to taste my new rosé.
我只是想感谢大家来品尝我的新玫瑰酒
I so enjoyed making it.
我非常享受酿造的过程
Oh, it starts with a hint of peach skin on the lips
首先是嘴唇触感
that turns into an explosion of mouth feels,
继而变成了嘴巴爆♥炸♥的感觉
and then it chokes you into a deeply...
然后它会让你陷入深深的
satisfying finish.
满足感
I also wanna thank my best friend, Lanie Delabouche,
同时感谢我最好的朋友 拉妮·德拉布♥什♥
who catered this whole event.
是她负责品酒会上的相关事宜
But I would stay away from the mini crab cakes.
但我会不会吃迷你蟹肉饼
I bit into one, I bit a little crab dick.
我咬了一个 结果吃到了螃蟹的生殖器
I'm kidding!
我开玩笑的
I assure you there aren't any penises in any of the food.
我保证食物里是没有的
Not yet anyway.
无论如何目前还没有
Well, have fun everyone.
大家玩得开心
Julia. What was that? What?
茱莉娅 你干什么 什么
This wine's been a really bad boy.
这酒像个坏男孩
I'm going to spank it until it turns red.
那我会打到它变红
All this wine is really going through me like a frat boy down a Slip 'N Slide.
这酒穿肠过 就像一个兄弟会的男孩滑滑梯飞流直下
I probably won't make it to the bathroom.
我可能赶不到厕所了
We'll see. I wouldn't put money on it.
看着吧 我敢打赌
Pretty bad.
真糟糕
Should you just go? Yes, I should.
你该走了吗 是的
I urge you... What?!
我强烈建议你 你说什么
...to use caution with me, Julia. Yes. Oh, to use caution, Richard?
看见我小心点 茱莉娅 小心点吗 理查德
You're not gonna get away with this. You're not gonna get away with this.
你逃不掉的 你逃不掉的
The food is, like, really good. Oh, yeah?
食物很好 是吗
Julia clearly doesn't like it.
茱莉娅显然不是很喜欢
She didn't have to shame me like that in front of everyone.
她没必要在大家面前那样羞辱我
You know, sometimes she can be such a...
你知道 有时候她真的就像
A giant red butthole!
一个混♥蛋♥
Glad that you're the one handling all the food.
很高兴你是负责所有食物的人
Thank you.
谢谢你
Oh, God. The cheese is sweating.
奶酪要化了
I better go blot it or I'll hear it from Julia.
我最好抹掉 不然我会从茱莉娅那听到