梅普沃思谋杀案（2020）

No. No, no, no. I didn't do this.
不是 不 不 不 不是我♥干♥的
Oh, yeah? You are holding a cork gun in your hand.
是吗 你现在手里正握着一把软木枪
You are under arrest, young lady.
你被逮捕了 女士
That's ridiculous.
这太荒唐了
She's a college student. She doesn't have the energy to murder anyone.
她是一名大学生 不会有精力去杀人的
Pilts.
皮尔特
Sorry about this. I'll pay all your legal fees, though.
抱歉 但我会支付你所有的法律费用
Now this is a story.
这才有料
I hope he was dead before that corkscrew went in.
我希望他在开瓶器扎进身体之前就已经死了
Yeah. He was like this when I got here.
是的 我到的时候他就是这样
He was already dead and then I saw that cork gun thing
已经死了 然后我就看到了那个软木枪
and I thought I'd pick it up.
觉得应该把它捡起来
Cork gun?
软木枪
Cork to the eye and you're to blame. Belt gives cork a bad name.
木塞扎进眼 你将被责罚 贝尔特脱不了干系
Is she trying to rap? Chief Bills.
她是在说rap吗 比尔斯长官
I ask you to kindly wait to take Heidi to jail
我只是希望你们在第二次审问贝尔特之前
until we interrogate Belt one more time.
不要急着把海蒂送进监狱
We? I'm only trying to help.
我们 我只是想帮上忙
And learn from your crime savant expertise.
还有学习犯罪专家的专业知识
Make it quick. Pilts, keep an eye on...
快点 皮尔特 看住
This one right here.
这个人
It's Heidi. For the 50th time.
我叫海蒂 都跟你说了50遍了
Take her to the interrogation room. Which one? Did you have a favorite?
把她带到审讯室 哪间审讯室 你有最喜欢的吗
I don't care. Set up traffic cones.
我不管 摆好交通锥标
Use your head sometimes.
动动你的脑子吧
Use my head? Wouldn't it be faster if I used my arms and hands?
动脑 我动手摆不是更快吗
Everybody, get out! This is a crime scene!
所有人 全都出去 这里是犯罪现场
Everybody out! We're going.
所有人都出去 知道了
I still think the bathroom was coolest. Are you kidding me?
我还是觉得浴室是最酷的 你在开玩笑吗
Oh, my.
天哪
What the hell are you doing?
你♥他♥妈♥的在干吗
Get Get out. Just taking it in.
快出去 我只是想看清楚
Fine.
好吧
Begone!
滚开
Crab penii in a death grip.
死死地抓着蟹肉丸
Very funny ringtone, Heidi.
海蒂 你的手♥机♥铃♥声♥真滑稽
Now how did I manage to just order socks with my dogs' faces on them?
我刚才是怎么订到印有我的狗的脸的袜子的
I didn't do it.
不是我♥干♥的
Let's stop the bullshit.
别扯了
Belt, did you or did you not shoot Brent in the eye with your cork?
贝尔特 你到底有没有用软木塞射布伦特的眼睛
I would never hurt, let alone kill anyone using cork.
我不会伤害任何人 更不用说用软木塞杀人
Cork is like God's fingertips in bottles of wine.
软木塞就像酒瓶里上帝的指尖
It's obvious you love cork. Yes.
你显然很喜欢软木塞 是的
You're a real cork hound.
你真是名副其实的木塞迷
You have a relationship. A deep relationship with cork.
你对软木塞有一种特殊的情愫
Yes.
是的
Excuse me, chief.
不好意思 长官
We tried to bring your evidence to the car but the trunk was locked.
我们想把你的证据放进车里 可是车厢锁了
Goddamn it. Belt, don't you move.
他妈的 贝尔特 你呆在这别动
You're sitting right there in your cork hole until I come back. And I mean it.
在我回来之前 你哪都别去 我是认真的
I mean it. Don't you move.
我是认真的 敢动一下试试
Okay. I mean it.
好的 我不是说着玩的
I'm not going anywhere.
我哪都不会去的
Mr. Belt, how angry were you at Julia?
贝尔特先生 你对茱莉亚有多生气
I could never get too angry at her.
我从来不会对她多生气
She was the only one who understood my passion for cork.
她是唯一理解我对软木塞的热情的人
She understood that I needed it in my life.
她知道我的生活离不开软木塞
I've always wanted to ask her on a date
我一直想约她出来约会
but I sensed that she belonged with someone else.
但我从觉得她已心有所属
Still, to go with her to a sports bar,
但我还是想和她一起去一家体育酒吧
and brush her hair out of her eyes and just give her a little kiss, like a...
轻抚她眼边的秀发 给她一个吻 就像
Gilbert. Yeah, Abigail?
吉尔伯特 怎么了 阿比盖尔
The chief needs help loading evidence.
长官需要你帮他装运证据
Oh, my. What is that perfume you're wearing?
天哪 你喷的是什么香水
DEET. My yard is full of ticks.
驱蚊水 我的院子里都是蜱虫
Tell you what, that would not repel me.
我跟你说啊 驱蚊水可赶不走我
All right.
好吧
Okay, this was I knew it.
好吧 这太 我就知道会这样
Heidi, let's go solve a murder.
海蒂 我们去侦破谋杀案吧
A thousand likes?
一千个赞
Oh, my God. Sick.
天哪 也太牛了
Heidi, what happened dear?
海蒂 怎么了宝贝
She hit me over the head.
她打我头
Are you okay? Yeah.
你还好吗 嗯
But I will milk this for a couple of days.
但一定会疼上好几天的
Lanie, it's no use hiding.
蕾妮 躲着是没用的
Come on out. I know you killed Julia and Brent.
快出来 我知道是你杀了茱莉亚和贝尔特
Why would I do that?
我有什么理由杀他们
Because you were in love with Brent and he was having an affair with Julia.
因为你深爱着贝尔特 但他却在和茱莉亚搞外遇
You killed them both out of jealousy, fueled by a broken heart.
你出于嫉妒和伤心把他们都杀了
You also texted Heidi on Brent's phone
你还为了把罪名嫁祸给海蒂
in order to frame her for both of the murders.
用贝尔特的手♥机♥给海蒂发了信息
You also stole a car in your 20's and sunk it in a lake,
你还在20多岁的时候偷了辆车 把它沉入湖底
but we don't have time to deal with that one today. Put a pin in it.
但偷车的事我们以后再说 今天没空管这个
Okay.
好吧
I did it.
是我♥干♥的
I killed them both.
我把他们两个都杀了
She was my best friend and she knew I loved Brent.
她是我最好的朋友 而且知道我爱贝尔特
But she banged him anyway.
但她还是跟他上♥床♥了
She banged him and she BJ'd him and HJ'd him and...
她跟布伦特上♥床♥ 还帮他口♥交♥和手冲
She did the Tallahassee Hustle on him.
她还用了塔拉哈西手法
Oh, that one's nice.
那个手法超爽
They made each other squirt or whatever.
他们互相让对方潮♥吹♥什么的
Which I don't even think is real.
但我觉得这是假的
It's just pee!
只是尿尿罢了
That's not true.
才不是呢
Come with us and we'll iron all this out in the police station.
跟我们来 我们可以在警♥察♥局理清这一切
Oh, no. The police will never know.
不 警♥察♥永远不会知道的
Because you're not going anywhere.
因为你哪都不准去
Think, Abigail.
想想 阿比盖尔
How would you write yourself out of this one?
在这个故事里 你会怎么写自己
Mrs. Mapleworth freezes as the barrel barrels towards her.
当木桶滚向她时 梅保沃斯女士定住了
She's reminded of the summer she took a rodeo clown gymnastics intensive
这让她想起了那个夏天 她在45岁的时候
at the age of 45 with her dental hygienist
和她的牙医一起参加了竞技小丑体操强化班
with whom she shared a certain compatibility.
他们两人之间有种特殊的默契
Come on, man!
来吧
No!
不
Looks like I just donked your kong.
看起来我把你打了个落花流水
Aunt Abigail, it's coming right at you!
阿比盖尔阿姨 木桶朝你滚过来了
Oh, little...
哦 有点
Die, Mrs. Mapleworth.
你死定了 梅保沃斯女士
Bring in a case of pinot too.
记得再带一箱黑比诺
And you'll dust it for fingerprints and jammy notes.
还要收集指纹和其他证据
Abigail, no!
阿比盖尔 不要
Toddler drop!
幼儿跌倒术
Hey!
喂
Yeah, Pilts.
干得漂亮 皮尔特
Well done, Gilbert.
干得不错 吉尔伯特
I owe you an HJ.
我欠你一个手冲
A ham-jam sandwich?
一个火腿酱三明治
Thank you, Gilbert, for saving my life.
谢谢你 吉尔伯特 你救了我的命
Well, you're the light of my life.
你是我生命中的光
I'm not doing anything.
我又不会对你干什么
Chief, you owe my niece an apology.
长官 你欠我的侄女一句对不起
I meant no disrespect to you, Heidi.
我无意冒犯 海蒂
You're forgiven, Chief Balls.
我原谅你了 鲍尔斯长官
It's Bills.
是比尔斯
Cute.
真调皮
Oh, well, you sure got your front-page story didn't you, Wellingtont.
你的头版报道肯定有着落了吧 对吧 惠灵顿
Yes I did. How are your old lady farts?
是的 你还好吗 放屁老太婆