梅普沃思谋杀案（2020）

Good morning, New Woodstream.
早上好 新伍德溪
Let's have a day of it.
开始新的一天吧
Good morning, Peter.
早上好 皮特
Saw your wife. She told me everything.
刚看见你老婆 她什么都说了
Well, who are you, sir?
小绅士 您是哪位啊
I'm going to name you hungry for now.
我暂时叫你饥饿好了
And you can call me sucker.
你可以叫我笨蛋
Let's go. Come on in.
走吧 进屋去
You're gonna love it.
你会喜欢的
Izzy, I have very exciting news.
伊兹 我有劲爆消息
Today I am going to start my first ever full-length novel.
今天我要开始写鄙人第一本长篇小说了
No more procrastination.
不再拖延
Now you go lay down in your orthopedic bed.
现在躺你骨科床上去
Good darling.
真乖
And begin.
开始咯
Abigail Mapleworth. To whom am I speaking?
我是阿比盖尔·梅保沃斯 您是哪位
Hey, it's Jerry, your agent. How's the novel coming?
你的经纪人杰瑞啊 小说写怎么样了
Jerry, I've written 6♥4♥ murder mystery novellas.
杰瑞 我都写了6♥4♥篇谋杀悬疑小说了
I think I've got this.
这还能难倒我么
I once wrote a Yelp review that was 20 pages long
我曾经写了一个20页的点评
about a restaurant that used balsamic that was not house-made, as claimed.
吐槽一个使用非自♥制♥香醋的饭店
Okay, well, I'll let you work your magic.
那你慢慢写大作啊
There's nothing magic about murder, Jerry.
谋杀案没什么神奇的 杰瑞
And you should also wear pants when you're in the office.
另外你在办公室里 也该穿上裤子
How did you--
你怎么
I hate when you do that.
真讨厌啊 总被你看穿
All right. For real this time, Abigail.
好了 这次玩真的 阿比盖尔
And begin.
开始
Oh, my goodness gracious.
哎呀呀
No bark!
别叫了
Heidi?
海蒂
Hi, Aunt Abigail. Ohh, come in here!
阿比盖尔姑妈 快进来
Look at you!
瞅瞅你
Oh, you've grown into such a beautiful young gal.
都出落成亭亭玉立的大姑娘了
I thought you were going to be a little mushroom like I am,
还以为你要跟我一样成个矮冬瓜呢
but your legs got in the game just in time.
不过你这大长腿发育的正是时候
Mom and Dad said thanks so much for letting me stay here.
爸妈说谢谢你让我过来住
Of course. It was either this
应该的 要不能过来住
or go home to Australia, you know, back in the marsupial pouch.
我就得回澳大利亚了 回到他们的羽翼下
Oh! Oh, here are all the babies
这是我羽翼下的
from my marsupial pouch. Hi! Ohh.
小宝贝们
Oh, and give her kisses. Oh, kisses!
快亲她一口
So your parents tell me that you're going to be finishing college
你♥爸♥妈说 你要在新伍德溪上大学
at New Woodstream instead of Princeton.
不去普林斯顿了
Uh, that reminds me. I've gotta go online
你倒是提醒我了 我得去上网
and register for classes. Hm.
选一下课
Um, what's your Wi-Fi?
你WIFI多少
It's Wireless Network.
无线网络
You should change that.
真该改个名
Uh, password? Oh.
密♥码♥是
WXRT443MQ123four
the four is spelled F-O-U-R--
4是单词four
and then an entire line of asterisks
还有一整行星号♥
that just look like a little blanket of snow.
就好像盖上了一层雪花一样
It's a strong password.
你这密♥码♥真够复杂
And if you need anything at all, at any time, you just--
如果你有需要 随时摇铃铛
Dingy-ding. And I'll be right in that bed right there.
叮铃铃 我睡那张床
Wait, we're sleeping right next to each other?
等会 咱俩卧室这么近嘛
Mm. Don't you have, like,
你不是还有
three other bedrooms? I do.
3间卧室呢吗 是有啊
There's one for the dogs, one for the cats,
一间给狗住 一间给猫住
and then the third one is where they all meet for parties.
还有一间给他们耍着玩
As you can see, Heidi,
如你所见 海蒂
the town square is quite the bevy of activity.
镇广场热闹非凡
This is my favorite shop All windchimes all the time,
这是我最喜欢的店 各种风铃都有
and it's open till 11:00.
营业至11点
I can't post any of these. Is it possible to have negative bars?
我什么都发不出去 这里信♥号♥♥是有抑制吗
Oh, there's a grand opening sign up there.
前面有家新开的店
Something is exciting.
好激动啊
Let's check it out.
咱们去看看
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it says it's a hot spot. Let's go.
好啊 上面写了热点 走吧
Well, I mean, it hasn't opened.
都还没开业
That's pretty cocky to call themselves a hot spot.
说自己是网红店也太自信了吧
No, it's an Internet hot spot.
不是 我说的是网络热点
Congrats on your big opening, jackass.
恭喜你开业了 蠢货
Maybe you can finally pay me back the money
应该能还我钱了吧
you sucked from my savings, you prick.
还我被你拿走的积蓄 混♥蛋♥
I hope you die soon!
我希望你赶紧蹬腿
And if you don't, let me know, so I can kill you myself!
要是没死 也告诉我一声 我亲自动手
Sorry about that. That's my ex-wife.
抱歉 那是我前妻
She's an asshole.
她就一泼妇
So what do you think of the shop?
你们觉得我家店怎样
It's very nice. I don't usually frequent meat markets.
很好啊 我不经常去肉铺
Oh, God damn it, Ben Jr.!
真要命啊 小本
What are you doing now?
你干什么呢
Oh, I wanted to display my homemade dry rub.
我想摆一下自♥制♥的调料擦
Dry rub.
调料擦
You know what I wanted? A daughter.
你知道我想要什么吗 我想要儿媳妇
You have Samantha.
你已经有萨曼莎了啊
Yeah, but she's a shithead.
是 但她就一大傻子
Now get that crap out of here!
把那破玩意给我收走
Be better!
给我挣点脸
Yes, sir.
遵命
Come on. Move it!
快点 动起来
God damn, that boy's got about as much common sense
真受不了 这小子的常识比得上
as a bee in a camper toilet.
野营厕所里的蜜蜂了
Just like his mom, the asshole from earlier. Hm.
跟他妈一个样 就你刚看见的那个泼妇
Um, excuse me, what's your Wi-Fi?
抱歉 请问您家WIFI是什么
Wireless Network.
无线网络
Password is A1B2C3D4
密♥码♥是 A1B2C3D4
and then that little squiggle that goes over Ns in Mexican words.
然后是花体墨西哥语的Ns
Okay.
好的
Canelli.
卡内利
Get out of here, Andy Hapsberg.
出去 安迪·海布斯伯格
You get out of here, and by out of here,
你滚吧 我说滚
I mean out of this town!
指的是让你滚出城
I've been the New Woodstream butcher since 1987.
从1987年起我就是新伍德溪的屠夫了
Well, we're all tired of your limp meats.
大家都受够你那烂肉了
You're gonna be closed and out of business in 30 days.
限你30内关店停业
Over my dead body.
除非我死了
Well, I can arrange that!
那也是可以安排的
I'd like to see you try to kill me!
真想看你怎么杀我呢
Stop this nonsense.
别废话了
You two are grown men.
你们俩都多大岁数了
I'm trying to show my young niece around the beauty of New Woodstream,
我正想带我侄女看下新伍德溪有多好
and you two are acting like ridiculous pussies
然后你俩就宛如在小巷里撕扯的
going at it hard in the alley.
没种的混♥蛋♥
Now shake hands.
握手言和
That's it. I believe in no time you two will be fast friends,
这就对了 我相信你们二位很快会成为朋友
sharing grinder stories and comparing the size of your giblets
喝着冰镇啤酒 分享磨床轶事
over a cold beer.
比较猪杂大小
That was surprisingly fun.
还真是意外之喜啊
Wait till you meet the women's crochet league.
等你见过妇女钩针联盟再说吧
Now those are some skilled hookers.
现在那里都是一些有技术的妓♥女♥
That was for you, Heidi.
之前倒是适合你 海蒂
And finally, this is the western New Woodstream cemetery.
终于到了 这里是西边的新伍德溪公墓
Aunt Abigail, this is the fourth cemetery you've shown me.
阿比盖尔姑妈 这都是你带我看的第四座公墓了
Well, the rest of them are closed on Mondays.
剩下的公墓周一不开放
Now let's go have a luncheon.
现在去享用午宴了
Who says luncheon?
谁说是午宴了
I just did. Did you not hear me?