爱与死亡（2023）

（怀利，城市边界）
（耶稣拯救世人）
（这是一个真实故事）
（１９７９年１０月）
妈
Mom?
妈
Mom?
－在 －什麽？
Present. - What?
就像老师点名时，
Like when the teacher calls roll call
你要说「在」
you say "present."
妈妈准备好了，长官，向您报到
Mom is ready, so reporting to duty.
你怎麽只穿一隻袜子？
How come you only have one sock on?
我找不到另一隻
I couldn't find the other one.
You can't go to school like that.
你不能穿这样去上学
妈，艾莉莎星期五 可以再来我们家过夜吗？
Mom, can Alisa come over Friday for a sleepover again?
好，如果她妈妈同意的话当然可以
Yeah, if it's okay with her mom, sure.
亲爱的，我们现在是不梳头了吗？
Sweetie, are we not combing our hair now
还是这是某种我没跟上的新时尚？
or is this just a new fashion thing that they got by me?
我梳了
I combed it.
那也许我们家有个风洞
Well, maybe we have ourselves a wind tunnel in the house.
妳何不去再梳一次？
Why don't you go back and comb it again, please?
如果妳顶着爆♥炸♥头
What kind of mother will people think I am
而妳弟弟只穿一隻袜子 别人会怎麽看我？
if you are a mophead and your brother's half sockless?
艾莉莎说妳太在意别人的看法了
Alisa said you worry too much about what other people think.
妳说什麽？
Excuse me?
艾莉莎这麽说？她为什麽会这麽说？
Alisa said that? Now why would she say that?
她从来没对我说过这种话
She's never said that to me.
她一定是从别人那裡听来的
She must have got it from somebody so that leaves Betty.
－那就只剩贝蒂了 －我从没听过贝蒂这麽说
I've never heard Betty say that.
－我知道她不喜欢我 －妳在说什麽？
I know she doesn't like me.
我有种感觉
What are you talking about? - I get a feeling.
贝蒂很喜欢妳，肯蒂
Betty adores you, Candy.
要是她不喜欢妳 还会把我们的孩子託付给妳吗？
You think she'd be trusting you to look after our kids if she...
妳感觉到的只是她平常的忧鬱症状
The feeling you're getting is just her usual depression stuff.
对，她的状况怎麽样了？
Yeah, how is that going?
其实好多了
Well, much better, actually.
夫妇恳谈会真的是个奇蹟
This Marriage Encounter was really a miracle.
他们到底在做什麽？
What exactly do they do there?
主要是让我们说出自己的感受
Well, mostly get us to talk about our feelings and...
他们很喜欢把所有事情 写在笔记本上
Well, they're big into writing everything down in a notebook.
听起来有点蠢
Sounds a little silly.
我知道，我们一开始也这麽想
I know. That's what we thought at first, too, but it...
但真的很有用
it really works.
我们已经不知道有多久没有…
For the first time in I don't know how long...
像这样对彼此完全坦诚了
we were...unflinchingly honest with each other.
艾伦，你能坦诚到什麽程度？
Exactly how unflinchingly honest could you be, Allan?
除了那个之外
Well, except for that.
这对我来说是个问题
And it was an issue for me.
贝蒂会提起性♥爱♥，指出我性趣缺缺
Betty would bring up sex and my lack of interest.
而我就会沉默
And I'd go quiet.
我又不能直说我性趣缺缺
I couldn't exactly say I was less interested in sex
是因为我在跟肯蒂蒙哥马利上♥床♥
because I was having it with Candy Montgomery.
－我们终于对彼此打开心房♥ －那是好事
We finally opened up to each other.Well, that's good.
我很高兴
I'm glad. So...
那我们该怎麽办？
where does that leave us?
这不见得有改变我对妳的感觉
Well, it doesn't necessarily change the way I feel about you.
但我强烈认为我应该
But I do feel strongly
把全部的资源奉献给家人
that I should be giving my full resources to my family.
我和妳的关係占据了
And my relationship with you is taking away
some of my emotional availability and...
我部分的情感、精力和专注力
energy and attention that I could be directing towards
我应该要把它们 花在贝蒂和孩子们身上
Betty and the kids.
所以你不想再跟我见面了？
So you don't wanna see me anymore?
我不知道
I don't know. Yeah.
夫妇恳谈会讲了很多东西
They said an awful lot of things at the Encounter, but...
但他们没说不能跟别人幽会
they never said you couldn't...
see someone else.
艾伦，你似乎想都交给我决定 那我就决定了
Allan, you seem to be leaving it up to me, so I'm just deciding.
我不会打电♥话♥
I'm not gonna call. I'm not gonna try to see you.
我不会试着去找你
我不会再打扰你了
I won't bother you anymore.
好
Okay.
「好」？
Okay...
你确实有宣洩你的情感
Well, you certainly unleashed your feelings there.
我不确定妳希望我怎麽回答
I'm not sure how you want me to respond.
还记得你跟我说过什麽吗？
Do you remember what you told me?
你跟我在科莫旅馆渡过的日子
That the days you spent with me at the Como
是你一星期中
that they were the only hours of your week
唯一不用为别人的情绪负责的时光
where you didn't feel responsible for other people's emotions.
你说的别人就是贝蒂 还有让她快乐的负担
Meaning Betty. The burden of making her happy.
让她远离低潮的负担
The burden of keeping her from being miserable.
你有曾经觉得…
Now
have you ever
对我的情绪有任何责任吗？
felt any responsibility for my emotions?
现在有吗？
Do you now?
我…肯蒂…
Candy...
好
Okay.
（科莫汽车旅馆）
妳知道每次妳感到空虚时
You realize that every time you feel a hole
都会粉刷厨房♥吗？
you paint the kitchen?
什麽？那才不是真的
That's not true.
好吧，也许有一点 但这也是很好的治疗方式
Okay, fine. Maybe it's a little true but also, you know, it is good therapy.
－看起来真的很棒 －谢谢
Well, it looks really good. - Thank you.
我一直说我们应该自己创业
I keep saying that we should start our own business.
怀利有很多人想要改造自己的生活
There's a lot of people in Wylie that are looking to remake their lives
有些人只要有 更时髦的早餐间就满足了
and some of which would settle for a spiffier breakfast nook.
我想念的甚至不是性♥爱♥
You know, it's not even like I'm gonna miss the sex.
而是友谊，
It's the friendship.
艾伦是我最好的朋友
Allan's been like my best friend.
等一下，那我呢？
Hello? What about me?
真希望我也能像那样跟派特聊天
I just wish I could talk like that with Pat.
好吧，我是认真的
Okay, I'm serious.
我们何不自己创业？
Why don't we start our own business?
至少这能让我们走进别人的厨房♥
At a minimum, it'll get us out into other people's kitchens.
毕竟厨房♥才是 真实生活的主轴，对吧？
That's where the real life happens anyway, right? Kitchens?
天啊，我好气
God, I'm feeling angry.
我不是一定要他
I don't necessarily want him, but...
但我不喜欢被拒绝的感觉
I don't like feeling rejected.
妳得把它放进冰箱保存
You're gonna have to put that in the fridge, honey, for it to keep.
Or the garage.
或是车♥库♥，车♥库♥很凉爽
The garage is nice and cool.
为什麽它必须保持凉爽？
Why does it have to stay cool?
现在天气这麽暖和，我怕它会腐烂
The weather this warm, I'm afraid it'll rot
离万圣节还有整整两週
and we still have two whole weeks before Halloween.
我觉得只是良性的纤维瘤
I think it's just a benign fibrous mass.
你不可能有办法确定
You can't possibly know that. Not for sure.
贝蒂，这应该是无害的
Betty, this is likely harmless.
你竟敢对我没耐心？搞不好是癌症
How dare you be impatient with me.It could be cancer.
我觉得不是
I don't think it is.
但你不可能知道
But you can't know that!
我就是知道，
I actually can know it.
我的工作就是要知道
It's my business to know it.
乳♥房♥♥摄影也证实了
And the mammogram confirms it.
－所以没事？ －是肿块
So it's nothing?
没错，但它是良性的
It's a mass, yes. But it's benign.
妳应该停止吃避孕药 也要控制咖♥啡♥因♥摄取量
You should stop taking birth control and also control your caffeine intake.
可能是喝太多咖啡造成的？
It could be from drinking too much coffee?
贝蒂，妳没事的
Betty, you're fine.
亲爱的，我只是说 你去年扮过路克天行者了
Honey, I'm just saying that you were Luke Skywalker last year
星际大战裡还有其他角色
and there are other characters in Star Wars.
不，扮成其他角色他就得戴面具
No, he wears a mask for other characters.
而他有幽闭恐惧症
He gets claustrophobia.
－你吐在你的蝙蝠侠面具裡 －我才没有
You puked in your Batman mask! - No, I didn't!
好了
All right! Okay!
－珍妮，等一下才轮到妳 －好啦
Jenny! Wait your turn!
Okay!
谢谢