开玩笑

Kidding S01E09

Part 3 June 1, 2020, 4:02 p.m.

这是种流行
It's an epidemic.
每个家庭都有一个威尔
Every family has a Will.
我的哥哥保罗一开始就是威尔这样
My brother Paul started as a Will.
保罗欠了很多人钱
Paul owes a lot of people money.
保罗有一次喝得太醉了
Paul once got so drunk on alcohol,
他晚上闯进了一家保龄球馆
he broke into a bowling alley at night
在小吃吧台给自己煎了吃的
and fried his own food at the snack bar.
我不觉得威尔会成为保罗所以...
I don't think Will is Paul yet, so...
我会放过他只给他一个警告
I'm letting him off with a warning.
感谢您的宽大处理和坦诚告知
Thank you for your lenience and your candor.
他吸大♥麻♥的事我们都非常重视
The pot thing, we take very seriously.
为什么威尔不能做一个坏蛋呢
Why can't Will be an asshole?
为什么威尔就不能做一个坏蛋呢
Why can't Will be an asshole?
很抱歉我喜欢他做
I'm sorry. I like that he's
一个坏蛋我也不知道为什么
an asshole. I don't know why.
有时候做一个坏蛋也没关系的
Sometimes it's okay to be an asshole.
有时候世界需要坏蛋
Sometimes the world needs assholes.
保罗听起来很棒我愿意和保罗一起出去玩
Paul sounds awesome. I'd like to hang out with Paul.
保罗在过着自己最好的生活
Paul's living his best life.
我不明白
I don't understand.
我明白
I do.
我们爱自己的孩子
We love our children.
我们爱他们乖巧的时候
We love them when they're good,
但我们更爱他们挑战我们的时候
but we love them more when they challenge us.
当孩子们不守规矩
When children misbehave,
他们是在提醒我们
they're reminding us
我们必须有多爱他们
of how much we must love them
我们是否还愿意在晚上为他们掖好被子
if we're still willing to tuck them in at night.
当威尔行为出格的时候
When Will acts out,
这让她想起了他死去的哥哥
it reminds her of his deceased brother.
我觉得我们应该让他停课
I think we should suspend him.
对不起我得走了
I'm sorry, I have to go.
发生了什么
What happened?
你被停课了
You're suspended.
我们现在去吃点薄煎饼吧
Now let's go get some hotcakes.
好吗
Yeah?
我们所有人吗
All of us?
你想让我跟你们一起
Did you want me to join,
还是你们... 只想要家人一起
or are you guys... Just want family time?
我觉得就家人一起好了
I think just the family,
如果你不介意的话
if that's okay.
沃德校长
Principal Ward,
我找到三号♥鸡了
I found the number three chicken.
干得好巴纳比
Good work, Barnaby.
我们走吧
Let's get out of here.
杰夫走了我觉得他不会回来了
Jeff's left. I don't think he's coming back.
把酸瓜先生的头套穿上
Put on the Pickles.
不我很抱歉
No, I'm sorry.
我答应了他我要做自己
I promised him I would be myself
而且只做自己
and only myself.
我已经把我的名誉
I've sunk my reputation
和养老金计划的相当大一部分
and a considerable chunk of my 401
投入到了这项工作
into this endeavor.
人们需要酸瓜家族
The people need the Pickles.
木偶们必须找到酸瓜先生
The puppets need to find Mr. Pickles,
否则冰上的故事就没有结局了
or the ice narrative has no ending.
你要听进道理
Listen to reason.
你本来的样子就很美
You're beautiful just the way you are.
闭嘴
Shut up!
抱歉那是我们新的鹦鹉
Sorry. That's our new parakeet,
萨拉小鹦鹉她话太多了
Sarakeet. She talks too much,
有点像我
kind of like me.
我觉得我从来没有见过你讲话
I don't think I've ever seen you talk.
好吧只有吃饭的时候我才会讲话
Uh, well, I only try to talk during meals
因为这样能让我吃少点
because it-it keeps me from eating.
这是我发明的节食法
It's a diet I made up.
闭嘴苗条婊♥子♥
Shut up, skinny bitch.
我跟你说塔拉的姐姐
I tell you what, Tara's sister.
"沙拉"
"Sah-ra."
实际上是莎拉
Actually, Sarah.
我现在叫莎拉了
I go by Sarah now.
我才不在乎它和什么押韵
I don't care what it rhymes with.
你希望在聚光灯下怎么表现呢...
How would you like your turn in the limelight...
莎拉
Sarah?
时候到了酸瓜伙计们
It's that time, pickle pals.
宇航员水獭闷闷哎哟人
Astronotter, Ennui Le Triste, The Oops,
还有他们所有的朋友都邀请你
and all their friends invite you to take
牵起身旁你爱的人之手
the hand of the loved one sitting next to you
准备踏上一场前往
and brace yourselves for a trip down
酸瓜桶瀑布的旅行
Pickle Barrel Falls.
不好酸瓜先生不见了
Disaster! Monsieur Pickles has gone missing!
没有他我们不能生存下去
Without him, we cannot survive.
也许在塔拉·利平斯基的帮助下
Maybe, with the help of Tara Lipinski,
我们能找到他
we can locate him.
你和外婆吵过架吗
Did you and Grandma ever fight?
我们经常吵架
Oh, all the time.
她背叛了我然后我也背叛了她
She cheated on me. Then I cheated on her.
然后我们就离婚了
Then we got a divorce.
她把猫带走了呵呵
She took the cat. Hmm.
她上了车去她姐姐那里待几周
She got in a car to go visit her sister for a few weeks.
九天以后猫回来了
Nine days later, the cat came back,
但我们再也没见过你外婆了
but we never saw Grandma again.
不管怎么说别担心
Anyway, don't worry.
我妻子有严重的精神问题
My wife had severe mental issues,
不像你妈妈
not like your mother.
-不不不 -好好
- No, no, no! - Yes! Yes!
不停下停下
No, no! Stop, stop, stop, stop!
-爽爽 -停下停下
- Yes! Yes! Yes! - Stop, stop!
太棒了见鬼
Yes, damn it! Yes!
你还好吗
Are you okay?
很抱歉我以为我们都挺享受的
I'm sorry. I thought we were both enjoying it.
我把它弄断了吗
Did I break it?
给你
Here you are.
酸瓜先生请用
Mr. Pickles, please, enjoy.
-非常感谢 -谢谢
- Thank you so much. - Thanks.
我们会的
We will.
我们以前在这里吃过吗
Have we eaten here before?
我想没有
I don't think so.
我有麻烦了吗
Am I in trouble?
我们没生气
We're not angry.
为什么不
Why not?
我们只是太喜欢薄煎饼了
We just like pancakes more
没法对你生气
than we could ever be angry at you.
你们什么时候正式离婚
When will your divorce be official?
过段时间
Sometime down the road.
要很久吗
Is it a long road?
我不知道
I don't know.
你们想看个魔术吗
Do you want to see a magic trick?
-好啊 -当然了
- Yes. - Oh, you bet.
首先我要去撒尿
First, I need to pee.
好吧让我们
Oh, yeah, keep us
保持期待吗
on the edge of our seat much?
如果我们吃快点
If we eat real quick,
我们还能赶上"冰上的酸瓜"结尾
we can catch the end of Pickles on Ice.
是吗
Yeah?
表演超棒的
It's a super show,
因为我做了一些改变
now that I made some changes and stuff.
我在考虑让彼得搬进来
I'm thinking of asking Peter to move in.
什么
What?
据说时间和空间是不可改变的
They say time and space are both immutable,