开玩笑

Kidding S01E08

Part 2 June 1, 2020, 4:02 p.m.

噢我的冬装
Oh, uh, my, uh, winter clothes.
你要冬装干什么
For what purpose do you need your winter clothes?
我... 我想把不合身的衣服
I, uh... I want to collect the ones
都收拾出来
that don't fit me as well
捐赠给穷♥人♥
and donate them to the indigent.
你想得太周到了
That's very thoughtful.
谢谢
Thanks.
喂到厨房♥来一下吧
Hey, want to come down to the kitchen?
我有东西想给你看
I got something I want to show you.
好
Okay.
够了就说一声
Say when.
够了够了
Oh, when. When.
你知道酸瓜家族的
Now, as you know, this is the season
赠予季到了
for Pickles family giving.
所以我要给你这张支票
So, I am going to give this to you
你来决定怎么花
and you get to decide where it goes.
真的吗
Really?
随你支用
Any cause you want.
你好
Hi.
你是麻醉科的对吧
You're in anesthesiology, right?
没错我是彼得
That's me. Peter.
生与死的差异
The difference between life and death.
我有个困扰已久的问题
I have a burning question.
我很想知道给死囚注射的致命药物
I'm curious if the drugs used to lethally inject prisoners
到底疼不疼
are painful or not.
好吧这个问题只有死人才能回答了
Well, the only people that can answer that are dead.
好吧
Right.
还有站在你面前的人
And standing right in front of you.
抱歉说了个冷笑话...
Sorry, bad... right.
把这种注射剂想象成三合一
Think of it as a three-pronged
鸡尾酒好吗
cocktail, right?
首先是氯化钾
First is potassium chloride.
这玩意儿让人可难受想象一下往手臂里
That's the bad stuff. Imagine getting antifreeze
注射防冻液
shot into your arm.
然后是硫贲妥纳
Second is thiopental.
那是种能镇痛的
That's a barbiturate that's supposed
巴比妥镇静剂
to kill the pain.
不过是短效的很快就失效了
But it's short-acting. It can wear off pretty fast.
最后是泮库溴铵
Finally, uh, you have pancuronium bromide.
麻痹效果一流
That's a paralytic agent.
问题是
The problem is, uh,
我们不知道这可怜的家伙
we don't know if the poor fellow's feeling
是否会觉得不适因为...
any discomfort, 'cause...
他现在已经被彻底麻痹了
he's been rendered paralyzed by now, right.
不敢相信这竟然是合法的
I can't believe all that's legal.
你想杀死某人吗
Are you thinking of putting someone to death?
再也不想了
Not anymore.
还有其他需要我帮忙的吗
Anything else I can help you with?
没有了
No.
那就够了
That covers it.
回见
See you around.
嘿你叫什么名字
Hey, what's your name?
你说得对
You're right.
我不想被卷入争议中
I don't want to wade into controversy.
我不想让那个男人生命的最后一刻只有我
I don't want to make the end of that man's life about me,
或者我们
or about us.
你做出了更好的选择
You're making the better choice.
我想把多年来
I do want to send
他写给我的信寄给他儿子
his son the letters that he's written to me
它们越来越有说服力了
over the years. They're increasingly eloquent.
这些信是他应得的
He deserves to have them.
信在抽屉里
They're in the drawer.
不是这个抽屉
Oh, not this one.
那个
That one.
这封信来自一个牢外的笔友
This one's for non-prison pen pals.
喂德莱尔你今天休息吗
Yo, Derrell, have you had your break today?
那是麦当劳
That's McDonald's.
吉娜说她不想去看爸爸了
Gina says she's not coming to see Dad.
那是她自己的哥哥啊为什么
Her own brother? Why?
-妈妈酸瓜先生回信了吗 -对啊
- Mom, Mr. Pickles wrote back? - Uh-huh.
-他写了些什么 -他不来了
- What'd he say? - He's not coming.
他把你♥爸♥爸寄给他的所有的信都寄回来了
He sent back all the letters your daddy sent him.
他可能不想再留着这些信了
Guess he don't want them no more.
他邀请我们共进晚餐不过
He invited us to dinner. Some Chinese restaurant,
-是吃中餐 -我讨厌中餐
- though. - I hate Chinese.
跟你说了别抱太大希望
Told you not to get your hopes up high.
你♥爸♥就是这么完犊子的
That's where your daddy fucked up.
他还是我爸
He's still my dad.
这就是你得到的回报鸡汤捞面
And here's what you won. Chicken lo mein.
要是我们告诉他...
Well, maybe if we just tell him...
告诉他什么
Tell him what?
你♥爸♥杀了四个红发女人
Your father killed four white women with red hair.
那可是八千信用评分告诉他什么
That's a credit score of 8,000. Tell him what?
告诉他原因
Tell him why.
德莱尔他们不在乎
Ah, Derrell, they don't care
他的作案动机做了就是做了
why he did it. He did it.
来吧
Now come on.
妈妈需要你的帮助
Mama needs your help.
这里
Here.
这是为"黑人会面"准备的
This is for BlackPeopleMeet.
他在那边
He's over there.
抱歉威尔
Sorry, Will.
喂菲尔
Yo, Phil.
有个"恋童癖"老爸
What's it like, having a dad
是什么感觉
who's a psychic pedophile?
你是想说"精神病"吗
Do you mean psychotic?
我是说他是个猥亵儿童的恋童癖
I mean he's a pedophile who molests children,
但是能预见未来知道自己不会被抓
but can see into the future and knows he won't get caught.
你说的就是精神病
Oh, you do mean psychic.
问问你♥爸♥ 他有没有预见到我会揍你
Ask your dad if he saw that coming.
拿着
Here.
你的鼻子在流血
Your nose is bleeding.
很遗憾
My sorrys.
谢谢
Thanks.
我们要让菲尔停学三天
We're suspending Phil for three days.
我听说是另一个孩子先挑衅的
I hear the other kid started it.
三天听起来很合理
Three days sounds appropriate.
-走吧宝贝 -我都说了
- Come on, honey. - I told you,
他不是在骂我
he wasn't calling me names.
他是在骂你
He was calling you names.
好吧如果每次有人
Well, if I hit someone
骂我恋童癖我都打人的话
every time they called me a kiddy creep,
你现在就是去死囚牢房♥看望我了
you'd be visiting me on death row.
我是想为你辩护
I was trying to defend you.
花生酱和果酱三明治兄弟准备教反义词了
PB and J are ready to teach about opposites.
哇快看这个
Wow, look at that.
我... 没法说话...
I... can't talk with...
因为嘴里有花生酱
peanut butter in my mouth.
看孩子
Hey, kiddo.
这是我的新书明年出版
That's my new book. Comes out next year.
我给你标记了一章
I earmarked a chapter for you.
我想让你读一读
I want you to read it.
仔细地读
Read it carefully.
好吗
Okay?
嘿...
Hey...
威尔跟我说了你给了他十万块的事情
Will said something to me about you giving him $100,000.
是的
Oh, yeah.
那么菲尔你有女朋友了吗
So, Phil, you got a girlfriend yet?
我才12岁
I'm 12.
好吧你知道吗我第一个
Well, you know, the first girl