糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S06E01
Part 4
Jan. 2, 2021, 2:46 p.m.
he just kept winding
招所有人烦 特别特别烦
everyone up and being really, really annoying.
金雀花王朝联盟
真正的骗局
这就是约翰国王 也是英格兰国王
This is John. He's the king of England.
诡计之王
他有很多需要挥霍钱财的地方
He's got a lot of expensive gear to shell out for.
战争 宴会 城♥堡♥之类的
Wars, feasts, castles and the like.
坏消息是 他身无分文
Bad news - he's skint.
好消息是 他是诡计之王
Good news - he's also the king of cons.
我们看看他是怎么干的
Let's see him do the business.
陛下
My liege.
"躲闪战骗局"
"The dodgy war con."
我把军队带来了 何时起航去法国开战
Brought my troops. When do we set sail for war on France?
好...马上就走
Yeah...er...really soon.
你带钱了吗 或者...
Er...have you got the cash, or...?
等等 你不能再那么做了
Hang on. You're not going to do that thing again
假装要开战
where you pretend there's a war on,
要我们给你很多钱帮你打仗
we give you a load of money to help fight it,
结果到最后
then it turns out there
根本没有什么战争 你只是想要钱而已
wasn't a war and you just wanted the money?
怎么会
As if!
很好 来吧 给你
Good. Come on. Here you go.
好的
Ok.
"谎言 他被骗了"
"Bosh! He's just been had!"
谢了...
Thanks. Um...
其实 我觉得我们会结束这场战争的
Actually, I think we will end the war.
但还是要感谢你的支持
Thanks for your support, though.
被骗了
真不敢相信他又把我骗了
I can't believe he got me again!
平心而论 他老是这么干 你知道吗
To be fair, he does it the whole time, you know?
我们除了任他予取予求 别无他法
And we have no choice but to give him what he asks.
他丢掉我们在法国的所有领土已经够糟了
It's bad enough that he lost all our land in France,
现在还来骗我们的钱
now he's nicking our money!
我老婆要生气了
Wife's going to be livid.
再见 伙计们
See you, guys.
这个家伙是谁 又是我们的骗子约翰
Who's this geezer? It's our scammer King John again.
我们把这次称做"无地教堂土地圈套"
We call this one "the Lack-land Church Land con."
打扰一下 你是主教吗
Er, sorry, are you the Bishop?
目标
-是的 陛下 -很好
- Yes, sire. - Good.
好 因为我是国王 我要没收你的土地
Right. Because I'm the King, and I'm confiscating all your lands.
好吧 可以
Right. OK.
别跟我说 你又要把这些地卖♥♥给我
Don't tell me, you're going to sell them back to me.
那倒没有
Not even close.
我要把这些地卖♥♥给你
I'm going to sell them back to you!
"谎言 他又在策划新的诡计"
"Bosh! He's already setting up his next con.”
我要建一个全新的小镇
I'm going to build a whole new town
这样我就可以跟他们收皇家宪♥章♥的费用了
just so that I can charge them for a royal charter.
我要把这个地方叫作"利物浦"
I'm going to call this con "Liverpool".
谎言
"Bosh!"
"警告 某些诡计可能会激起民愤
"Warning - some of these hustles may turn your people against you
让你失去王位"
and lead to you losing the crown."
是真的
It's true.
约翰国王的确把建立利物浦
King John really did found the area of Liverpool
当做刮取民脂民膏的途径
as a way to make money out of his people.
他在谁的默西塞德郡呢[他对谁发过慈悲呢]
Whose Merseyside is he on, eh? Eh? Eh? Eh?
最后 贵族们受够了日夜不断
Eventually the barons had had enough of coughing up cash
为贪婪的约翰国王掏钱
for greedy King Johnny
决定列出一份愤怒的要求清单
and decided to make a list of angry demands.
坎特伯雷大主教同意充当中间人
The Archbishop of Canterbury agreed to act as a go-between.
一二一五年六月十日
And on June 10th 1215,
约翰国王和男爵们
King John and the barons
在萨里郡的兰尼米德进行了为期两周的讨论
met for two weeks of arguing at Runnymede
讨论内容即是后来著名的《自♥由♥大宪♥章♥》
in Surrey to discuss what would become the famous Magna Carta.
陛下 我们这些英国的贵族
Your Majesty. We, the Noblemen of England,
十分担忧您一再滥用权力
are worried about your continued abuse of power.
这会危及国家的未来
It threatens the future of the realm.
所以我们聚集在兰尼米德这里
So we've gathered here, at Runnymede,
萨里郡 兰尼米德
将一系列意见写了下来
and we've written a list of grievances
列在这份叫《自♥由♥大宪♥章♥》的文件中
in this document here called The Magna Carta.
全都列出来了
Really ticked off, actually.
-都列出来了 -历史性的时刻
- Really ticked off. - Big time.
巨型役马吗 管它叫什么呢
Magnum Carthorse? Whatever.
其实我自己也有些意见
Got some grievances of my own, actually.
我觉得我们的意见更大
I think you'll find our grievances are more serious.
我觉得我的意见更大
I think you'll find mine are.
我觉得你没有
I don't think you will, actually.
我觉得我有
I think I will, actually.
我觉得你没有
I don't think you will, actually.
我觉得我有
I think I will.
这个问题只有一个解决方法
There's only one way to settle this.
我提议
I propose
进行一场意见对决
a grievance battle.
贵族 上吧
Baron. Hit it!
贵族对阵约翰国王
*从哪里开始讲*
*Where to start, which part?*
*我们的意见一箩筐*
*We got so many grievances we could fill a cart*
我们爱《大宪♥章♥》
*从赋税开始讲*
*Let's start with some facts like tax*
赋税
*赋税太重快要压垮我们的脊梁*
*They're so heavy that they're gonna break our backs*
*我们无力负担*
*We can't pay, there's no chance*
*你输给法国 害我们破产*
*We lost all our money when you lost France*
你输给法国
*总之诺曼人赢了*
*The Norman bit anyway.*
陛下 您完蛋了 敲吧 鼓手
Your Majesty, you got boned. Drop some beats, playa!
*我很困惑 这是真是假*
*I'm confused, is this real?*
*我是国王 印♥章♥归我盖*
*I thought I was the king. I'm holding his seal*
*向国王下跪 我要你们卑微如尘埃*
*Kneel to the king. I'll see you grovel in the grime*
*我要随心所欲征税 这首诗歌♥也不例外*
*I'll tax what I like. I'll even tax this rhyme*
贵族绝不低头 该动真格了
Barons don't grovel. It's time to get real
*听我说 不妥协就尝尝我们的厉害*
*Listen to me, dawg or you're gonna feel some steel*
*宪♥章♥就够 我们不用争斗*
*This charter's tight we don't need to fight*
*敲上章 让我们得到应有权利*
*Just hit it with your seal and give us our rights*
讲到点上了
Some serious points.
让我们得到应有权利
我还没说完
I ain't finished
*我们要组个议会 代表富人*
*We want a council to represent rich people*
议会
*我们要自♥由♥教会 自♥由♥教门*
*We want a free church with a free steeple*
自♥由♥教会
《自♥由♥大宪♥章♥》管用
*我们不许你再夺走我们的儿子*
*We want you to stop stealing our sons*
*不许再把他们扣作人♥质♥*
*And holding them hostage like you have done*
*这些重要事项你必须答应*
*There's vital stuff here that you've got to give us*
*还有一些有关河钓的事*
*There's also some stuff about fishing in the rivers*
在河里钓鱼
*住口吧 读一读我们的请♥愿♥*
*So stop, read what we plead*
*同意我们兰尼米德的条款*
*Agree the deed in Runnymede*
兰尼米德
*按我们说的做 否则就要你受伤*
*Do what we ask or we're gonna make you bleed*
*我听到你们的反映*
*Yeah, I hear what you're saying*
*若不小心我就得祈福保命*
*If I don't tread gently for my life I will be praying*
*告诉我要怎么做 你们说了算*
*So tell me what to do. You're the boss*
*不过我们得等等 因为我要先祷告*
*Though we'll have to do this later cos I'm taking up the cross*
进展很有意思 我想知道
Interesting development. I wonder...
我还是闭嘴吧
I'll shut up.
*等一下 你一定觉得我们都傻*
*Hang on a minute. You must think we're barmy*
*你跟我们谈判的同时还在悄悄招募军队*
*While you're talking here you're hiring up an army*
*这样如何 我们来做个交易*
*So how about this? Let's barter*
*如果你签了《自♥由♥大宪♥章♥》 我们将继续效忠*
*We'll stay loyal if you agree to Magna Carta*
《自♥由♥大宪♥章♥》
*嘣 嘣*
*Boom! Boom!*
*随你们这群疯狗怎么说*
*Whatever, dawg*
*我同意你们那恶心的大宪♥章♥*
*I'll agree your skanky scroll*
不要交税
*我厌倦了这比赛 该我大展身手*
*I'm tired of this game and it's time for me to roll*
*我不会感到厌烦 也不会觉得难受*
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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