糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S06E12

Part 4 Jan. 2, 2021, 2:48 p.m.

like King Charles.
他利用军队统治国家
And using the army to rule the country -
就像查等等
like King Char... Do you know,
他和查理国王很像啊
hang on, he was a lot like King Charles!
所有人都习惯了
And people were so used
有国王或女王的日子
to having a king or queen,
没人知道该怎么称呼克伦威尔
no-one really knew what to call Cromwell
以及他妻子伊丽莎白
and his wife, Elizabeth,
也不知道如何对待他们
or how to treat them.
国王不在了但议会也无法统治国家
The King has gone, but Parliament is incapable of ruling.
我只好心情沉重地接过这个担子
I take this title with a heavy heart.
是的陛下
Yes, Your Majesty.
你是不是说了"陛下" 不要那样叫我
Did you say "Majesty"? Please don't call me that.
对不起陛我是说将军
Sorry, Your Maj... Er, er, I mean, General.
听好了我本人是不会当国王的
Listen, I'm not going to become a king myself.
这点已经讨论过了
We discussed this.
是的
Absolutely.
杀掉查理国王
There's no point killing King Charles
换上奥利弗国王是没有意义的
and replacing him with King Oliver.
-这不是我们打仗的初衷 -是的
- That's not what we fought a war over. - Absolutely.
我们完全同意您的看法阁下
We all agree with you 100%, your...highness?
这个称呼不错
That one's OK.
-能当皇后也不错 -伊丽莎白
- Oh, it would be nice to be Queen. - Elizabeth...
对不起你当然是对的奥利弗
Er, I'm sorry, you're absolutely right, Oliver.
你只会是护国公
You shall be Lord Protector and nothing else.
您说的没错护国公夫人
As you say, Lady Protectress.
我喜欢这个称呼
Ooh, I like that!
那我们意见一致了
So, are we all agreed?
是的您不会成为国王
Absolutely - you are definitely not becoming king. Now...
那现在我们可以举办仪式了吗
could we proceed with the ceremony?
我们需要您坐在王位
We need you to sit on the throne...
护国椅上
the chair of state.
不是王位只是把椅子
Not a throne, it's just a chair.
最好是这样
It had better be.
他刚才是在鞠躬吗
Did he just bow?
我觉得他只是在检查裤裆有没有开陛下
I believe he was just checking his flies, Your Majesty.
这些看起来有点皇室风范
These look a bit royal.
不只是为了看起来更正式一些陛
Oh, no, just a few things to make it official, Your Maj...
尊敬的护国公大人
your Major Lord Protector-ness.
行吧我想我们是要保持体面
Well, I suppose we do need to keep up appearances.
有一些领导人的标志也无伤大雅
A few symbols of leadership won't hurt,
只要没有王冠就好
just as long as there's no crown.
护国帽不是王冠完全不一样
Cap of maintenance, not...not crown. It's completely different.
我们必须认清一点
Now, just so we're under no illusion here,
我是不会当国王的
I am not agreeing to be king at all!
我不会像国王那样着装或行事
I will not look like the King and I will not act like the King.
明白了吗
Is that understood?
明白了随便了
Yeah, whatever.
记住了
Noted.
很好
Good.
现在请把我们的东西搬到白厅去
Now, if you could move our things into the Palace of Whitehall.
要好好重新装♥修♥一番
Yeah, want to start redecorating.
那不是国王以前住的地方吗
Um, isn't that where the King used to live?
我们总得找个地方住啊
Well, we've got to live somewhere.
遵命陛下
Yes, Your Majesty
别得寸进尺
Don't push it.
克伦威尔是清教♥徒♥ 他们教规森严
Cromwell was a Puritan, and their strict views
许多常人能享受的东西他们都是禁止的
meant that lots of things people enjoyed got banned.
真没劲
Bo-ring!
搞定了
Ok.
克伦威尔的子民你们好我是诺梅莉特·维纳尔
Hey, Cromwell's Britain. It's me, NoMerit Vynall.
诺梅莉特无"义"·维纳尔
没错这就是我的真名而且
Yes, it's my real name and yes,
我的弟弟叫做菲尔格德
my little brother is called FearGod.
菲尔格德敬畏上帝
清教♥徒♥父母没错吧
Puritan parents, right?
别闹菲尔格德我跟你说过
Stop it, FearGod! I told you!
总之我来为大家介绍一下
Anyway, I'm back with my top five
时下最流行的五种娱乐
of what's hot right now in entertainment.
第五赛马
OK. Number five - horse racing!
很棒对吧
It's great, right?
你可以赛马也可以骑马和朋友闲逛
You can race or...or just hang out with your friends.
但你不能因为克伦威尔把这项娱乐禁止了
Only you can't, because Cromwell's banned it.
禁止
他说 "保皇党可能会在活动中勾结"
He says, "Royalists might be meeting at the event."
难以置信他自己都喜欢赛马
Unbelievable. I mean, he even enjoys racing himself.
下面介绍最流行娱乐第四名
OK, number four in my entertainment countdown.
停下别跟过来菲尔格德
Stop, don't follow me, FearGod,
你会毁了我给大家准备的惊喜
you'll ruin the surprise!
看戏剧大家都喜欢看戏剧对吧
The theatre! Everyone loves a play, right?
奥利弗就不喜欢他关闭了大部分剧院
Not Oliver. He's closed down most of the theatres.
禁止
他说 "保皇党也可能在那碰头"
He says, "Royalists might be meeting there, too."
第三名
OK, number three... Now!
足球
Football! Yay!
不行
Nay.
禁止
显然比起玩足球
Apparently, we should be
我们还不如幻想一下天堂什么的
thinking about heaven instead, or something.
如果你在周日踢球被逮到
If you get caught playing on a Sunday,
他们会用鞭子抽你
they'll whip you - with whips!
第二名跳舞
OK, number two - dancing!
猜猜怎么样
Only, guess what?
禁止
也就是说不准赛马不准看戏
So, that's no horse racing, no theatre,
不准踢球不准跳舞
no football and no dancing.
好吧还有圣诞节
Oh, well, there's always Christmas.
在克伦威尔治下的不列颠这是我的
That is my number one thing to do for entertainment
头号♥娱乐项目
in Cromwell's Britain.
你猜怎么了圣诞节也不能过
Only, guess what? You can't do that, either!
禁止
圣诞装饰圣诞食物和游戏都不准
The Christmas decorations, food and games part, anyway.
那英联邦还有什么好玩的什么也没有
So, what's hot in the Commonwealth? Nothing!
费劲把周日设为休息日有什么意义
Why did they bother banning work on Sundays?!
什么都不能玩
There's nothing else to do!
我又来了感觉不太好
Me again, er, not feeling so great.
克伦威尔党来了
我可能命不久矣
Probably going to snuff it soon.
老天
Oh, dear.
那么驾崩之前最好先选好继位者
So, I'd better name my replacement for when I go.
那么我选了谁来当新的护国公呢
But who did I choose to be the new Lord Protector?
A 我儿子理查德
B 国王查理一世的儿子查理二世
C 英格兰国土上最富有的人
答案是A
The answer is A.
就算我绝对绝对不是国王
Even though I'm definitely, definitely not a king,
我还是要指定我儿子当继位者像国王那样
I am appointing my son as heir, just like a king does.
什么不这可不是一回事
What? No, it's not the same thing!
奥利弗·克伦威尔在1658年死于肺炎
Oliver Cromwell died of pneumonia in 1658,
享年59岁
when he was 59 years old.
在他费了那么多事之后只过了两年
And after all that bother, just two years later,
国王查理一世的儿子就夺回了国家
King Charles I's son took back the country,
复辟君主制登基为国王查理二世
restored the monarchy to power and was crowned King Charles II.
世道轮回啊
What a turnaround.
我很好奇克伦威尔对此是怎么想的
I wonder what Cromwell thinks about that?
死者闲聊
*死者闲聊死者闲聊*
*Chatty Death, Chatty Death*
*我的采访*
*My grisly interviews*
*死者闲聊死者闲聊*
*Chatty Death, Chatty Death*
*去世名人*
*They're dead and famous, too!*
我跟服务生说我可有名死了知道吧
So I said to the waiter, "I'm dead famous, you know?
因为我很有名而且还死了
"Cos I'm famous and I'm dead!"
别一下都安静得跟死尸似的
Oh, don't all corpse at once.
别像死尸好吧无所谓了
Don't all corpse...oh, whatever!
欢迎来到反应太慢了
Welcome to... Too late now!
盖好你们的棺材板
Shut your lids!
欢迎回到《死者闲聊》