糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S06E11

Part 4 Jan. 2, 2021, 2:48 p.m.

历史版宏伟设计
几年后换了一套衣服
Several years and one costume change later,
我又回来找兰吉特
I've come back to see Ranjit
来了解树篱种植的进展
and find out how the hedge is progressing.
兰吉特和墙相比
Ranjit, an advantage of a hedge
树篱有一点好处就是它会自己生长
over a wall is that it grows by itself.
所以就不用不断地重建修补
So, it doesn't need constant rebuilding.
它需要不断地重建修补
It needs constant rebuilding.
风暴侵袭当地人放火烧蚂蚁啃食
The storms blow it down, locals set fire to it, ants eat it.
我恨树篱
Hate the hedge.
我明白了...
I see...
那它能阻止走私犯吗
What about stopping the smugglers?
你还好吗
You all right?
你看他们总是能穿过去
Oi! Oi! See, they get past it all the time.
他们把东西扔过去
They, they throw things over it.
他们让东西顺着河流漂过去
They, they float things past it in the rivers.
他们甚至还会找成群的骆驼跑过去踩倒它
They even get herds of camels to run at it, to break it down.
尽管如此作为一项工程或园艺壮举
Still, as a feat of engineering or gardening,
它的确非常宏伟
it really is very impressive.
它只是一大♥片♥树篱
It's just a massive hedge.
你还不能把它修剪成可爱的动物
It's not even the kind that you can shape into amusing animals.
看
Look... Yah!
这是一只兔子我修剪出一只兔子
This is a rabbit. I made a rabbit.
我第一次听说这个计划
When I first heard about the plans
要在印度种一片大树篱时
to create a great hedge of India,
-我最初是持怀疑态度的 -愚蠢
- I was initially sceptical. - Stupid...!
显然我是对的因为我戴眼镜
Of course, I was right, because I wear glasses.
讨厌树篱我抓住了
Hate the hedge! Ah, gotcha!
吃我一棒
Take that, you...
那时维多利亚女王的帝国
At the time, Queen Victoria's empire
大约占了世界五分之一的版图
covered nearly a fifth of the world,
亚洲
包括印度加拿大新西兰
including India, Canada, New Zealand
和非洲大部分不是整个非洲她不贪婪
and most of Africa - not all of it, she wasn't greedy.
实际上她挺贪婪的英国甚至统治澳大利亚
Actually, she was. Britain even ruled Australia,
澳大利亚
那里有一个古怪的歹徒叫内德·凯利
where an outlandish outlaw called Ned Kelly
他给警♥察♥找了很多麻烦
was causing the police all kinds of problems.
因为他不怕子弹这听起来很疯狂
By being bulletproof. Sounds wild.
葛林罗旺镇
没错又到了《史上最疯狂蠢材》时间
Yep, it's time for another one of History's Craziest Fools!
《史上最疯狂蠢材》
有时候英雄与那些像一窝穿着旱冰鞋的狐狸
Sometimes, yeah, there is a fine line between being a hero
一样疯狂的人之间只有一线之隔
and being as mad as a bag of foxes on roller skates. Yeah?
今天要说的蠢材得追溯到历史上
And this next fool has got to go down in history
除了我表弟布莱恩外最勇敢最危险
as one of the most bravest, dangerousest,
也最疯狂的怪咖
craziest geezers that ever lived - apart from my cousin Brian.
他就是著名的澳大利亚歹徒内德·凯利
It's the famous Australian outlaw, Ned Kelly.
这个蠢材生活在维多利亚时期
This fool was around in the time of Queen Victoria,
他疯狂得我都有点喜欢他了
and he was so crazy I sort of like him, actually.
摄制中
内德别做傻事了
Don't be an idiot, Ned!
你被包围了伙计
You're surrounded, mate!
他用自♥制♥的防弹盔甲
Taking on a whole Victorian police force
和所有维多利亚警♥察♥较量哦不
in home-made, bulletproof, body armour. Oh, no!
你这样只会让自己的处境变得更糟
You're only making this worse for yourself!
开火吧反正你们伤害不了我
Fire away! You're not going to hurt me.
结果内德的腿部没有盔甲
Turns out, Ned's legs were not armoured.
但巡警詹姆斯·德怀尔马上就要发现
But as Constable James Dwyer's about to find out...
他的内♥裤♥有盔甲
his underpants were!
看看
Check it!
金属内♥裤♥ 伙计
Metal grundies, mate!
他们说德怀尔就像只疯狂的
They say Dwyer hopped about
犯病遭殃的袋鼠一样蹦来蹦去
like a demented, stricken kangaroo -
很有澳大利亚特色的蠢材了对吧
which is Australian for fool, yeah?
历史告诉我们蠢材们可能很讨人厌
History has taught us that fools can be well nasty.
可能讨人爱可能一事无成也可能一世英明
They can be well nice, they can be zeros or even heroes.
但有件事是肯定的他们都很疯狂兄弟
But one thing's for sure, they are all crazy, bruv.
下一次别那么蠢了好吗
Until next time, stay away from stupid, all right?
《史上最疯狂蠢材》
我祖母织了这些
My grandmother knits them...
然后我拿去
and then I take them to
斯皮塔弗得市场卖♥♥ 每个卖♥♥了十英镑
Spitalfields and I sell them for a tenner each.
难搞的维姬女王
维多利亚时代是伟大发明的时代
The Victorian era was a time of great invention
自行车就是其中之一
and one such brilliant idea was the bicycle.
它改变了人们出行的方式
It transformed the way people travelled.
不过并非每个人都觉得这是件好事
Although not everyone thought it was a good idea.
再见
Good day!
珍美玛珍美玛等等我漂亮的宝贝
Jemima! Jemima! Wait up, my perfectly formed pot of loveliness.
不给你生命中唯一的男人一个吻吗
A kiss, perhaps, for the only man in your life?
还不如说你是村里唯一一个男人
The only man in the village, more like.
来了
Ah, incoming!
什么事沙德韦尔医生
What is it, Dr. Shadwell?
-我可是很忙的 -有三件事
- I'm a very busy woman. - Oh, well, three things.
第一件事你愿意嫁给我吗
One - will you marry me?
没门
No.
第二件事你愿意嫁给我吗
Two - will you marry me?
不愿意
Er, no!
第三件事你好像穿着我的裤子
And three, you appear to be wearing my trousers...
你愿意嫁给我吗
Will you marry me?
-是的 -你是答应嫁给我了
- Yes. - Yes, you'll marry me?
是的我是穿着你的裤子
Yes, I'm wearing your trousers.
我今早从你的晾衣绳上偷来的
I stole them from your washing line this morning.
给你留了我的裙子
Left you my skirt.
这个行为有点奇怪我的小甜心
Mm, somewhat strange behaviour, my sweet trifle of desire.
并不是我是想骑这辆自行车
Well, not really. I wanted to ride this bicycle.
如果我穿着那条裙子
If I wear that skirt
我骑起来会像只猫头鹰一样
I'll take off, like an owl.
那也不是普通的猫头鹰我的挚爱
Mm, not just any owl, my love.
是最奇妙的猫头鹰
The most wondrous of owls
有着引人亲吻的鸟喙
with the most kissable of beaks.
亲亲亲亲
Kissy, kiss, kiss!
我恐怕得走了医生
I'm afraid I simply must go, Doctor.
我打算今天骑到邻村去
I'm planning on riding to the next village today.
邻村但那非常远啊
The next village? But that's miles away.
你骑到那里肯定会
You surely won't make it without...
皮肤瘙痒的
a tickle.
我能骑到那
I will with my bicycle.
难道你不担心你会
But aren't you worried you'll...
晕倒腿软头昏眼花
Faint? Buckle? Go doolally?
不会我读过你那一长串女骑手禁忌清单
No. I've read your extensive list of Don'ts For Women Riders.
"不要赛车" "不要滑行"
"Don't race." "Don't coast."
"不要对别人的腿指指点点"
"Don't criticise other people's legs."
"遇到奶牛不要大呼小叫"
"Don't scream if you meet a cow."
别一副自行车脸
Don't develop bicycle face.
自行车脸
Bicycle face?
真的有这种病
It's a real condition...
不是我为了不让你走胡编乱造出来的
and not something I just made up to stop you from leaving.
它会发生在女士身上
It occurs when ladies
比如当你骑车时拼尽全力
like yourself try extra hard not to fall off
不让自己摔倒的时候
when riding a bike.
就这样
Regard.
自行车脸
Bicycle face.
真是胡扯
Oh, ridiculous!
他真的编造了"自行车脸"这种疾病
你看起来像只被压扁的螃蟹
You look like a smashed crab!
当然是最迷人的那只扁螃蟹我的甜心
Surely the most dashing of all smashed crabs, my sweet.
他真的编造了'自行车脸'这种病
亲亲亲亲
Er, kissy, kiss, kiss.
只是最扁的那只螃蟹眼睛肿得像只青蛙
No, just the most smashed, with eyes like a bulging frog.
骑车平安我的爱人
Ride safe, my love!
我就不
I won't!
别跟其他男人说话
And don't speak to any other men!
我就要
I will!