海普与雷纳德（2016）

You guys had a big adventure today, huh?
- 就是没找到桥 - 嗯
- Just no bridge. - Hmm.
我不能说我不失望 尤其是在特鲁迪
I can't say I'm not disappointed, after trudy's
强烈的推荐之后
Enthusiastic endorsement
她说你是唯一会找到它的人
That you would be the one to find it.
霍华德 给他个喘息的机会 这才是第一天
Howard, give him a break. It's the first day.
我会找到它的
I'll find it.
这比我想象中的
It's gonna be a little
要难一点
Harder than I thought.
我是说 我讨厌看到你让她失望
I mean, I'd hate to see you let her down.
我的意思是 她对你
I mean, she thinks
有很高的期望
So highly of you.
特鲁迪挑男人的品味
Trudy's taste in men
总是令人♥质♥疑的
Has always been questionable.
也许我该走了
Maybe I should leave,
所以你们俩就能把老二放在桌子上
So you two can put your dicks on the table,
放在牙签旁边了
Next to them toothpicks.
喔
ooh...
她是对的
she's right.
我们是一个团队
We're a team,
我们应该表现得像个团队
And we should act like one.
你找不到它 就找不到了
You don't find it, you don't find it.
你回家 我们继续找
You go home, we keep trying,
因为这是一种奉献精神
Because it's a matter of dedication.
不是吗
Isn't it?
查布 别吃了
Chub, you're done eating.
我们绕着房♥子转转吧
Let's walk the perimeter.
我跟你们一起去
I'll go with you.
没准我还能在外面
What's the odds I'll find me a cheeseburger
找到芝士汉堡呢
Out there?
迷人
Charming.
我明白你为什么嫁给他了
I can see why you married him.
我还跟他离婚了
I also divorced him.
这是我的诅咒
It's my curse.
他们不是你
They can't all be you.
但是他很会做事
But he gets things done.
他当然会 因为他有
Of course he does, 'cause he's got...
他用的那个词是什么来着
What was that word he used?
奉献精神
Dedication.
那是件好事
That's a good thing.
雷纳德在影响你
Leonard's rubbing off on you.
他通过肮脏的眼镜看这世界
He sees the world through dirty glasses.
可能这个世界原本就很肮脏
Maybe the world is dirty.
好吧
Well...
乐观点没坏处
A little optimism never hurt.
神秘广播时刻
"Radio mystery hour"
一个新的福尔摩斯的冒险
And a new sherlock holmes adventure.
那么我们今晚会有怎么样的新的冒险呢
And what new adventure are we to embark on tonight?
一个早期的福尔摩斯的
A macabre little escapade
可怕的恶作剧
From holmes' and my early years
叫做 多尔切斯特的恶魔
Entitled "The dorchester demon."
那是1887年
It was in the year of 1887.
福尔摩斯跟我退休了
Holmes and I were retiring
在着火前他开始
Before the fire when he began...
我亲爱的朋友们
"My dear fellow,
生活总是
"Life is infinitely stranger
比人类的发明更奇妙
"Than anything which the mind of man could invent.
这儿 今天的报纸上就有个例子
"Here, an example from today's paper--
一个丈夫虐待他的妻子
"A husband's cruelty to his wife.
这有半页的报道
"There's half a column of print,
但是不用读我就知道
"But I know without reading it
这对我来说太熟悉
"That it is all perfectly familiar to me.
当然 有另外一个女人
"There is, of course, the other woman,
有喝酒 推搡 击打 瘀伤
"The drink, the push, the blow, the bruise,
有同情心的姐妹或是房♥东
"The sympathetic sister or landlady.
最粗鲁的作家
"The crudest of writers
也只能虚构出粗鲁的东西了
Could invent nothing more crude."
确实 你的举证
Indeed, your example
不足以证明你的论点
Is an unfortunate one for your argument...
那老公是个滴酒不沾的人
The husband was a teetotaler,
而引发抱怨的是
And the conduct complained of
他逐渐染上的一个习惯
Was that he had drifted into the habit of
吃完每顿饭后他都要摘下
Winding up every meal by taking out
他的假牙然后猛然扔向他的妻子
His false teeth and hurling them at his wife...
我真的开始喜欢这些人了
I'm really starting to like these people.
我希望他们明年还能邀请我们
I hope they invite us back next year.
是啊
Yeah.
很明显他们也很喜欢你
It's pretty obvious they like you too.
我觉得帕科对你有感觉
I think that paco's got a thing for you.
归根结底 也许你不用
Maybe you won't go home
空手回家了
Empty-handed from here after all.
哦 是啊 他是内在美
Oh, yeah, his beauty's on the inside.
今天在外面看到任何熟悉的东西了吗
See anything out there today looked familiar?
可能进去的路有点熟悉
Maybe the road in does,
但那之后 就啥都不知道了
But after that, could be on venus.
那是条该死的河啊
It's a friggin' river.
呃呃 不是条河
Uh-uh. Not a river.
那是条河的支流
It's a tributary to a river.
这就是霍华德找不到的原因
That's why howard couldn't find it.
好吧 你不是最聪明了吗
Well, aren't you the clever one?
不过 那个狗崽子做饭确实好吃
Son of a bitch can cook, though.
他们的豆角很好吃
Them string beans was good.
嗯
Hmm.
已经砍了好几个小时了
Been chopping for hours now.
我们他妈的到底在哪里 海普
Where the hell we at, hap?
我只能看见沼泽地
All I see is swamp.
在家里倒是说得好
Talk a good game back home.
甚至把我也耍了
Even had me fooled.
也没人跟我说
Ain't nobody tell me
我会去一个鸟不拉屎的地方
I was gonna be on a redneck safari and shit,
睡地板
Sleeping on the floor,
跟最后一群花癫派待在一起
Hanging out with the last of the flower children.
该死的墨西哥人抢走了我们在玫瑰场的工作
Damn tacos done took our job at the rose field.
我们连屁都还没干
We ain't got squat.
接下来的事你也清楚了 我们会在
Next thing you know, we gonna be working
麦当劳打工
At the mcdonald's.
你在笑什么
What you smiling at?
你要不就是想起来了什么 要不就是你放屁了
You either remember somethin', or you farted.
别跟我说你刚放屁了
Don't tell me you farted.
我们以前经常在那棵树下
We used to dig for night crawlers
挖一整晚的爬虫
Underneath that tree,
所以上面应该有个旧牌子
So gonna be an old sign over there,
这就意味着 铁桥
Which means the iron bridge...
就在这里
Is right here.
我说了吧
I told you.
我没跟你说吗
Didn't I tell you?
那该死的河在哪里
Then where's the goddamn river?
给你们 伙计 再两个
Here you go, fellas, two more.
一条河怎么就凭空消失了呢
How does a river just disappear?
可能找错了桥
May be the wrong bridge.
不不 就是那座桥
No, no, it's the right bridge.
我很确定
I know that much.
有可能这只是一个编造的狗屁监狱老故事
Probably some old, made-up, bullshit prison story anyway.
那个温柔小子说不定只是激发了霍华德的奇思妙想
This softboy guy-- probably pulling howard's crank.
特鲁迪相信了
Trudy bought it.
当然你也相信了
Of course you bought it.
如果你这么想 你为什么会跟来
If you believe that, then why are you here?
我来这是为了照顾你
I'm here watchin' your ass.
从什么时候开始我需要被照顾了
Since when did my ass need watchin'?
一直以来都是
Since always.
你装得好像这是我第一次