海普与雷纳德（2016）

Nothing is, sugar.
- 什么事 - 她还在你那里
- Yeah? - She still there?
是的
Yeah.
妈的
Shit.
好吧 好样的 兄弟
Well, nice knowing you, brother.
真是下半身思考的动物
A hard dick knows no conscience.
一个智者曾这么告诉我
A wise man once told me that.
扯淡 就你事多
Bullshit. It always mean more to you.
你是在和雷纳德通话
This is Leonard you're talking to,
不是什么玫瑰田的黑鬼
not some rose field nigger.
兄弟你就是一个玫瑰田的黑鬼
'Cept you are a rose field nigger.
我一样也是
And so am I.
一个白色版本的
A white one.
你干嘛这么晚还在操心我的事
What you doing up so late, minding my business?
想把自己灌醉来着
Trying to get drunk.
她会再次甩了你的 你知道吧
She gonna dump you again, you know?
你在听罗伊的歌♥
You listening to Roy?
这可不好
That's not good.
醉的时候不该听这个 哥们儿
Not when you're drinking, buddy.
她还在讨论那些狗屁嬉皮吗
She still talking that hippie shit?
人是会变的 雷纳德
People change, Leonard.
哇
Wow...
就像60年代一样 干净整洁
Like the '60s, man. Neat.
我当时也在场 海普
I was there too, Hap.
不过是些80年代的扎染T恤
It was just the '80s with tie-dyed T-shirts.
这回不要上当
Now, don't fall for it.
不 没什么可上当的
No. Nothing to fall for.
只是上♥床♥而已
Just getting laid.
好吧
Yeah.
估计你每次拉了屎
Guess every time you take a shit...
还有棒棒糖的味道呢
come out smelling like lollipops too,
你这个大傻♥逼♥
you dumb son of a bitch.
别管它
Leave it.
这样看起来很棒
It looks good.
我开始变得越来越像我老爸了
I'm starting to look like my dad.
漂亮并不完美 亲爱的
There's no beauty in perfection, honey.
嗯
Hmm.
鸟笼怎么来的
What's with the birdcage?
在庭院旧货市场上买♥♥的
Picked it up at a yard sale.
让我想起了奇普
Reminded me of Cheep.
这听起来很搞笑 但是我想念那只小鸟了
It's funny, you know, but I miss that little bird.
我也是
Me too.
它经常在绕着房♥子飞
Used to fly all around the house.
记得吗
Remember?
像迪士尼电影一样
Like a Disney movie.
- 海普 - 嗯哼
- Hap? - Mm-hmm.
我需要你的帮助
I need your help.
我已经破产了 特鲁迪
I'm broke, Trudy.
我有的只剩账单和催款通知
All I got are bills and late notices...
我不是为了钱来的
I didn't come for money.
你总是别有目的
You always come for something.
你是唯一一个我能求助的人了
You're the only one I could ask.
是个大事
It's big.
而且可能会让我们双赢
And it could be good for both of us.
好吧
Okay.
说吧
Ask.
海普 我的爱人
Hap, my love,
你觉得赚20万美元怎么样
how would you like to make $200,000?
小子 你太弱了
You're soft, boy.
你打起架来一副约完炮的样子
You fight like a man that's been getting laid.
你打起架来像个娘炮
And you hit like a man who isn't.
当你沾沾自喜的时候挺可爱的
You're cute when you gloat.
你知道的吧
You know that?
是啊 当我放屁的时候我特可爱
Yeah. I'm cute when I fart.
而且我拉屎的时候更可爱
And I'm cute when I take a shit.
不 当你拉屎的时候
No, when you take a shit,
你看起来都快化了
you look like you're meltin'.
住手
Stop!
不管怎样 你来这儿要干嘛
So what you doing here, anyway?
你一辈子都不会在周日早上
You ain't never woke up this early on a Sunday morning
起这么早
in your life.
我有笔生意
I got a deal.
我在考虑把你加进来
I was thinking about cutting you in on it.
有超多的钱可赚
A lot of money.
多少
How much?
特多
Lots.
足够你自己做生意
You could start your own business.
在公交车站边上
Maybe get a little shoeshine stand
摆个擦鞋摊之类的
down at the bus depot.
哇哦
Whoa.
你没事儿吧 小啄木鸟
You all right, peckerwood?
我经历过更惨的
I've been worse.
谷仓都在旋转
Barn's spinning, though.
你总是在爱和战争里
You always overcommit
过度投入
in love and war.
这是你的症结所在 朋友
That's your problem, my friend.
从我们是孩子的时候你就如此
Ever since we was kids.
那买♥♥卖♥♥到底有多少钱
How much money we talking?
10万美元
$100,000...
每个人
Each.
我们要枪杀谁吗
We got to shoot somebody?
用不着
Uh-uh.
我们需要做的就是游过去
All we got to do is swim for it.
我不想像这样被动 海普
I don't like being railroaded like this, Hap.
你在告诉他之前应该问问我
You should have asked me before you told him.
如果你不想要他加入 我也不会加入的
Well, if you don't want him, you can't have me.
要么两人一起 要么就吹了
It's a package deal or no deal.
霍华德可不会像我一样
Howard wasn't that keen
把你放在第一位
on me asking you in the first place.
用你垃圾一样的魅力
Just use that trailer trash charm of yours.
说服海普
Works on Hap.
雷纳德 你知道你的问题所在吗
Know what your problem is, Leonard?
你嫉妒
You're jealous.
一直这样
Always have been.
哦 宝贝儿 海普确实有个欢脱的屁♥股♥
Oh, baby, Hap's got a perky ass and all,
可惜不是我的菜
but he ain't my type.
哦 你们两个
Oh, just can it, both of you.
能不能假装是朋友
Can't we just pretend to be friends?
至少现在装一下
For now, at least?
告诉雷纳德你怎么跟我说的
Okay, tell Leonard what you told me.
我想让他在做决定之前听到你亲口陈述
I want him to hear it from you before he makes up his mind.
好吧
Okay.
我最后一任丈夫 霍华德
My last husband, Howard,
走遍美国抨击核反应器
traveled the country speaking against nuclear reactors
直到他被捕
until he got arrested.
他们声称 危害政♥府♥安全
"Damaging government property," They called it.
霍华德认为他作为人类
Howard thought it was his responsibility
有责任
as a human being...
别跟我提政♥治♥
Spare me the politics.
这对我心脏不好
It is bad for my heart.
只说正文就好
Just the goods, pretty please.
好吧
Fine.
霍华德在莱文沃斯被判2年
Howard got sentenced to two years at Leavenworth...
我母校
My alma mater.
她前夫都在那
All her ex-husbands go there.
当他在监狱里的时候
And while he was in prison,
你认识一个叫软蛋 麦考尔的人
he met a man named Softboy McCall.
他们称他为浣熊大盗
They called him the Raccoon Bandit.
那个软蛋幻想自己是黑帮一员
Now, Softboy fancied himself a gangster.
救命 哦 妈的
Help! Oh, shit!
但他并不是这帮人里面最厉害的