方格斯的奇幻旅程（2015）

被告 你清洗了吗
The accused. Was there washing?
是的 法官 - 擦拭了吗
Yes, Your Horror. - Wiping?
是的 法官
Yes, Your Horror.
是不是还有洗刷 浸泡
Was there scrubbing, soaking,
擦洗 清扫 抛光
swabbing, sweeping, polishing,
装扮和通风
primping and, or purging?
是的 法官大人
Yes, Your Horror.
吃巧克力了吗
Was there chocolate?
恐怕是的 法官
I regret so, Your Horror.
所有的罪名都将以
Then the assembled are
破坏公德罪被起诉
all charged with Decency in a Public Place.
她是谁啊
Who's she?
他们在看你
They're looking at you.
我不认识他们
I don't know them.
我心怀潮湿的荣幸
It is my moist pleasure
将你们流放到不归沼泽
to exile you all to The Swamp of No Return.
肮脏近于美德
Uncleanliness is next to Bogliness.
蚵林奇 把这些香烘烘的异类带走 我受够了
Clench, take these fragrant aberrations away, I tire of them.
走 我们走
Move! Off we go.
你们真恶心人
You're disgusting!
法官大人
Ma'am.
下去吧
Mmm!
在这样的时刻
At times like this,
一个污魔怪只能求助于外力
a Bogeyman has no option but to reach for his crutch.
精致酒杯里倒上经典的蟑螂鸡尾酒
A classic cockroach tail in a fine glass.
几滴蛤♥蟆♥浓痰
A little slash of toad phlegm,
少许地窖陈年排泄物
a weeping of cellar-aged discharge,
大量的松节油
a good retch of turps,
手指搅拌 别洒了 然后给儿子灌下去
fingered, not slopped and get it down your son.
都是我的错
It's all my fault.
难道我把这孩子弄得不够脏吗
Didn't I dirtify him enough as a child?
我应该注意到的
I should have seen the signs.
总是关在浴室那么久
All that time locked in the bathroom.
他是在洗手啊
He was washing his hands.
你跟他说了什么
What did you say to him?
我向他展示了这条路根本就是错的
I showed him the error of his ways.
霉德
Mould?
霉德
Mould?
噢 不
Oh, no.
噢 我的天
Oh, my bog.
天空
Oh, the sky!
是天空啊
Oh, it's the sky!
亲爱的 你为什么拿这么龌龊的东西折磨我
My drear, why do you torment me with this obscene object?
因为这是他去的地方
Because that is where he has gone!
我们必须报告
We must report him.
我们不能报告啊方格菌
We're not going to report him, Fungus.
我们要去达文特里 现在
We're going to Daventry. Right now.
霉杜 我生命中的珍贵微光
Mildew, crepuscular light of my life.
在达文特里 现在是白天 那里有天空
In Daventry, it is day. There is sky.
我难以描述阳光照耀的天空有多恐怖 亲爱的
I cannot begin to describe the horror of the sunlit sky, my drear...
如果我们现在不去 我们就会失去他
If we don't go now, we will lose him.
他是我的孩子 我的小虱子 我的小象鼻虫
He's my little boy, my louse, my weevil.
我怀了他九个月
I carried him in my womb for nine months.
又在第二子♥宫♥袋里养了十二个月
Then in my secondary wombsack for 12 months,
又在我的第三生育囊里养了六年
then in my tertiary birth bladder for six years,
然后把它生在蛋壳卵膜里再孵化
then laid him in an egg membrane and gestated...
"毋见日光"
"Thou shalt not be daylight seen."
方格菌 我炸着鼻毛告诉你
Fungus! I say this with fierce nasal hair,
带我去达文特里
take me to Daventry
否则你就不再是我当初选择的那个污魔怪
or you are not the bogey I picked!
你不想剪太短 这样行吗
You don't want to take it too short. Is that okay?
噢
Oh!
进来
Get in!
霉杜 要是你想回头
Mildew, if you want to turn back...
如果我回头 我就配不上
If I turned back I wouldn't
我自己排泄物上的蒸汽
be worth the steam off my own discharge.
所以 我们上去吧
So, let's go Topside.
不好意思 这儿转弯有点多
Sorry, bit corner-y round here.
你看见我的驾驶眼镜了吗
Have you seen my driving glasses?
这是我的阅读眼镜 不是平常看东西的
Only these are my readers, not my see-ers.
非常感谢
Much obliged, ta.
啊老天爷啊你是个怪物
Oh, my God, you're a monster!
开玩笑啦
Kidding.
我知道你是什么
I know what you are.
我叫Eve 你现在是安全的
I'm Eve and you're safe.
欢迎来到地表 污魔怪
Welcome to the surface, Bogeyman.
没事的
All right.
我没事的
I'm all right.
这是地面
That's ground.
所以 那什么空 在哪里
So where's the s-k-y
就在你上面 亲爱的
It's above you, my darling.
这是最可怕的颜色
It's the most terrible colour,
比你想象的要巨大得多
and it's much bigger than you could possibly imagine.
但是不知道为什么 它在上面稳稳的
But it is held in place, somehow.
你明白吗 它不会砸下来的
You understand? It is not going to fall on you.
噢 我的神
Oh, my bog!
霉杜
Mildew?
醒醒
Come back to me.
醒醒 亲爱的
Come back to me, my direling.
那什么空
The S-K-Y.
它起火了
It was on fire!
它没有起火 亲爱的
It's not on fire, my drear.
你必须再看看它
And you must look at it again.
因为无论我们去哪儿 天空总是在那里
Because everywhere we go, the sky is going to be there.
我们该走了
And we have to go.
看 没啥好怕的
See? Nothing to be frightened of.
我们都要被烤了
We're all going to broil!
霉杜 - 啊啊啊
Mildew. - Oh!
霉杜
Mildew.
布道 你们即将听到
Sermon. As many of you will know,
我那天经历了很可怕的事
I had a terrifying experience the other day.
我们现在欢聚在可爱的教堂里
Gathered here in this lovely church of ours,
坦白讲 几乎难以置信
it seems frankly incredible.
我真的看见了我所看见的吗
Did I really see what I saw?
我怀疑我自己是不是个该死的疯子
It makes me wonder if I'm a bloody loony.
布道 我不是个疯子
Sermon. I am not a loony.
此处暂停等笑声 估计没人笑
Pause for laughter, won't get any,
此处加进那天我想象看见的情形
plug on what I imagined I saw the other day.
我们见过吗
Have we met?
我觉得我们见过
I think we've met.
看 我有一个小建议
Look, just a suggestion,
我们就当这事儿没发生过吧
why don't we agree that this isn't happening?
并没有真的发生 对吧
Isn't really happening, is it?
棒渣渣
Scumtastic.
祝你今天开心
I bid you good day.
去那边
That way.
我们得伪装一下自己
We need to disguise ourselves.
用猪粑粑
Pig poo.
不不不 亲爱的
No, my drear,
如果我们要混在干净人里
if we are to move amongst the Drycleaners
我们得看起来像他们
we need to look like them.
可能对我们来说很诡异
And strange as it may seem to us,
但他们不会把粑粑涂在身上
they don't wear poo.
你知道的吧 变身是违反法律的
You know, don't you? That it is against the law to face-fold?
我们必须要变身
We need to face-fold.
但我不会啊
But I don't know how.
变身
Face-folding.
是个生理变化过程
A biological process that
要用到污魔怪身上众多臭气泡 屁袋 打嗝囊
exploits the Bogey's many stench bladders, fart pockets and belch sacks.
通过重组身体里的臭味和气体
By redistributing fumes and vapours around the body,