方格斯的奇幻旅程（2015）

奶酪和肿块 - 嗯嗯
Cheese and bunion? - Mmm.
这就来 鼻涕虫
All right, snot nose.
但是你的气味不像以往那么恶臭
But your Funk is not quite as nauseating as usual.
有什么大新闻吗
Anything in the paper?
污魔男孩被发现使用洗发水
Bogey boy found using shampoo.
虽然那小子是拿来喝的 但依然不可饶恕啊
The skid was drinking it, but still.
他父母要被关到沼泽地了
That'll be the parents off to the Swamp.
污泥女王会立即将他们革除污魔籍的
Sludge will have 'em excombogeycated in a sniffy.
就当我是歧视干净人吧
Call me Dry-ist,
但是如果你不能教育你的孩子
but if you can't bring up your own child
对肮脏和堕落有一定的尊重
to have a decent respect for filth and personal degradation,
那么污魔王国就没有你的一席之地
well, there's no place for you in Bogeydom.
唾液小姐 你真丑
Saliva, you're a hag.
讨厌
Cheeky!
我是说真的
It's true, you know.
关于女王啊
About Snotsoup.
她有一个双胞胎姐姐
She's got a twin sister.
没错 没错
Yes. Yes.
其实吧 我有所耳闻
Matter of fact, I did know that.
是叫梅毒菌 还是什么菌来着
Syphila? Sphincta?
菌多利亚 - 对 菌多利亚
Bactoria. - Bactoria.
有一天晚上她去地表之后 再也没有回来
Apparently she went topside one night, never came back.
这已经是几百年前的事了
Centuries ago this was,
但这也说明了女王一家是怎样的人
but it explains a lot about old Snotters.
请解释一下 它"说明"了女王陛下什么呢
Precisely what does it "Explain" About Her Toxicity, Sludge Snotsoup?
蚵林奇警官
Officer Clench.
一起来点前菜吗
Would you care to join us for a little fartstarter?
我看你了吗
Am I looking at you?
没 没 我还是不要说话了
No. No. I'll just, er, not speak.
我认为我朋友想说的是
I think, er, what my friend was saying,
额 警官同志
er, Officer,
菌多利亚革除自己的污魔籍
was that the selfexcombogeycation of Bactoria Snotsoup
可能激发了女王陛下
may have inspired Her Toxicity
采取我们十分赞同的高度戒♥严♥措施
to the very high standards of vigilance that we so admire.
你的名字要上我的混♥蛋♥簿了
Your names are going in my scrotebook.
谢谢您嘞 - 你先说
Thank you very much. - Yours first.
方格菌 真菌的菌
Fungus. As in spreading.
方格菌 你是污水先生的儿子
Fungus, son of Bilge?
正是家父
I have that honour.
污水先生 也就是瘴气先生的儿子
Bilge the Impure, son of Miasma the Swinish,
也就是疥疮先生的儿子
son of Scabies the Besmirched,
也就是皮疹先生和疣瘤女士的儿子
son of Pox the Unwiped and Richly Warted,
而他是方格菌的父亲 霉德的祖父
and in his turn, father of Fungus and grandfather of Mould.
污水当年在污魔王国所向披靡
Bilge bestrode Bogeydom like a colossus.
他的成就无人能及
His achievement was unparalleled.
他十分享受骚扰人类的房♥子
He so relished bogeying the houses of the humans,
他甚至会在白天上去
that he would continue even into broad daylight.
而不会留下蛛丝马迹
But not a hair of his snout was ever seen.
一代恐吓大♥师♥
A master of his craft.
好险
Phew.
他还是他爸裤子上的精斑时 我就知道他了
I remember Spasm Clench when he was just a streaky smear in his father's pants.
你想说什么
Say it.
所有人都去度假了
Everyone's gone on holiday.
为什么我们不能去度假
Why can't we go on holiday?
因为现在你妈妈不方便
Because it's not a holiday for your mum.
她要去工作 - 她只知道工作
She has to work. - All she does is work.
而你就只会转转扳手
All you do is squeak things with your spanner.
跟你说 从某种意义上 你非常幸运
You know, in many ways, you're very lucky,
得以出生在一个非传统家庭
coming from a non-traditional family.
你说的"非传统"是什么意思
What do you mean "Non-traditional"?
你妈妈出去工作 而我是家庭妇男
Well, your mum's the breadwinner and I'm a stay-at-home dad.
传统父母角色对调
Total role reversal.
你那些去度假的朋友肯定很嫉妒你
I bet quite a few of your off-on-holiday friends are actually quite jealous.
Dan有一个爸爸和两个妈妈
Dan's got a dad and two mums.
Lily有两个爸爸
Lily's got two dads,
Jojo与Marie和她们的双胞胎阿姨住在一起
and Jojo and Marie live with their aunts who are identical twins
其中一位阿姨还是考古学家
and one of them's an archaeologist.
而我有个不工作的爹
I've got a dad who hasn't got a job.
你以为你是安吉丽娜朱莉啊
Not exactly Angelina Jolie, are you?
我接受你的挑战
I accept the challenge.
五比二 我赢了
Five-two, to me.
哦 你要吐了吗
Oh, you going to throw up?
不幸啊 没吐出来
Oh, sadly not.
别担心 你这个老渣滓
Don't worry, old scum.
霉杜灌肠很拿手
Mildew does a cracking enema...
不是那头 - 两头儿都有效 相信我
Wrong end. - Works both ends, believe me.
她是个十足的丑女 我老婆
Oh, she's a damned ugly woman, my wife.
好吧
Right.
我这是怎么了
What's the matter with me?
你的臭味儿
Your Funk!
不要 - 它在减弱
No! - It's wilting!
你全力努力就现在这样吗
Is that the best you can do?
方格菌 - 啊
Fungus! - Ah!
为什么我打不出嗝来
Wherefore could not I produce a burp?
我肠胃气胀得不行 但是气都卡在喉咙里
I had most need of flatulence and the gas stuck in my throat.
那只是一个梦
It's just a dream.
我特有的臭气减弱了
My very Bogeyhood is compromised.
你这是喝多了说胡话
That's just the potties talking.
你是我认识的最臭的污魔怪了
You're the bogiest Bogey I know.
但是我在失去臭味 现在又这样
But losing my Funk, and now this,
如果是预兆怎么办
what if it's an indication?
来吧 抹脏脸 冲臭牙
Now, come on, grime your face, flush your teeth,
你快点上♥床♥吧 赶快
let's get you into bogeybed, chop chop.
谁知道呢 如果你把蛇弄上身
Who knows, there might be something rancid for you
可能能更臭点
if you get your snakes on.
来吧
Come on.
小可爱站起来
Uppy-puppy.
霉杜 你真是最毒最丑的老泼妇 我从来
Mildew. You are the most septic disfigured harridan I've ever...
一大杯凉脓水
Big glass of cold pus.
捋一捋你满是蛆的小胡子
Little strokey on your botty beard.
不等蠕动抽搐两下你就会睡着了
You'll be fast a-bye-byes in a brace of peristaltic convulsions.
我觉得我要吐了
I think I'm going to vomit.
看吧
See?
这个世界一切都好
All's right with the world.
来吧
Come on.
你觉得怎么样
So, what do you think?
敷过黄瓜的脸
Cucumberface.
嗯 嗯 看着就很水嫩
Yeah. Yeah, it's all cucumbery.
我的肤色看起来亮么 我用了萝卜和那个
Does my skin look all radiant? I did radishes and that
因为据说可以让我拥有16岁的肌肤
'cause it said it would give me the skin of a 16-year-old,
但我看起来比实际年龄老两岁吗
but I'm like, do I look two years older?
哦 我的天哪
Oh, my days.
那只是Dean Williams - 我的天哪
It's only Dean Williams. - Oh, my days.
他真是相当的十年级啊
He's so, so year 10.
他在看我们吗
Is he looking at us?
我不知道
I don't know.
上帝啊 他看我了 他看我了
Oh, my God! He looked at me. He looked at me!
好 表现得成熟一些 老练点儿
Okay, just act really grown up, yeah, and sophisticated and that.
点一杯卡布奇诺
Order a cappuccino.
不用非得喝 就是看上去有情调
You don't have to drink it. Just look moody.
哦 多谢
Oh, thanks very much.
这是你吗
This you?
很久以前了
Long time ago.
你现在应该认不出我来了
You wouldn't recognise me now.
不 我确信还是会认出来的
No, I'm pretty sure I would.
尽管有暴露 羞耻 被革除污魔籍的风险
Despite the threat of exposure, shame and excombogeycation,
污魔王国里的确存在
there does exist, in Bogeydom,
某种可悲的 肮脏的 可耻的欲望
a certain regrettable, sordid, criminal appetite.
一种嗅闻 触摸 品尝
A desire to smell, touch and taste
地表世界丑恶事物的渴望
the hideous commodities of the surface world.