方格斯的奇幻旅程（2015）

浸泡在里面又大又肥又潮湿
Big, fat soggy to dunk in.
听起来不错 对吧
Yeah, sounds good, doesn't it?
是的
Yes.
那是因为你是个污魔怪
That's because you're a Bogey,
不是吗 小子 嗯
aren't you, son? Hmm?
你是一个变了身的污魔怪
You're a folded Bogey.
你觉得这是菌多利亚一心想报复你
You think this is all about Bactoria wanting revenge on you.
她不是冲你来的 方格菌
This isn't about you, Fungus.
你只是额外的一碟小菜
You're just an extra little fill.
她打算暗♥杀♥她的妹妹
She's planning to assassinate her sister.
我一生还没听过这么傻的胡话呢
I never heard such bumfaced donkeyness in all my life.
鼻涕汤女王已将菌多利亚从公众记录里抹除了
Sludge Snotsoup has erased Bactoria from the public record.
使得她丧失了污魔怪的身份
She has made her a non-Bogey.
菌多利亚忍♥受不了这件事
Bactoria cannot bear it.
宁愿成为过街老鼠也不想就此销声匿迹
Rather be an object of hatred than no object at all.
这就是为什么她制♥造♥了那个武器
That is why she has developed the Weapon.
为了驱动这个武器
To power this Weapon,
菌多利亚需要你的儿子
Bactoria needs your son.
她需要他的臭气
She needs his Funk.
那是它的燃料
That is its fuel.
你现在明白了吧
Do you understand now?
你儿子那独一无二的肛♥门♥排泄气
Your son's unique anal effusions
注定要摧毁我们现有的文明
are destined to bring down civilisation as we know it.
哦 我可怜的孩子
Oh, my poor boy!
你们必须赶在她之前找到他
You have to find him before she does.
否则她会抽干♥他♥的
Or else she will suck him dry.
哦 快 方格菌 快想想办法
Oh, think. Fungus, think.
园艺工 - 我叫Hedge
Gardener. - Hedge.
篱笆园艺工
Hedge gardener.
好了 你就站那儿拿着花瓶喝酒吧
Okay, you just stand there and drink your vase.
Wendy 看着我
Wendy. Look at me.
你相信事物
Do you believe that things
能够死而复生吗
that are dead can be brought back to life?
我相信
I do.
好吧 无所谓 - 合同里有写
Yeah, whatever. - It's in the contract.
那是什么 我要拿几个杯子来吗
What's that? Shall I get some glasses?
不用
No.
然而
However...
这是圣餐酒吗
Is this consecrated?
当然不是了 不然我怎么会一加仑一加仑地灌
Of course not. I wouldn't glug it by the gallon.
倒不是因为我根本 - 哦
Not that I am remotely... - Oh!
你在干什么 - 哦 天啊 对不起
What are you doing? - Oh, God. Sorry.
好好看着
Behold.
好了 好了 好了
Okay. Okay, okay.
等一会儿
Wait.
现在你得承认这件事非比寻常了吧
Now, you have to admit that's quite unusual.
这从神学的角度挑战了常识 - 什么
It's theologically challenging. - What?
你就看出了这个
Is that all you can...
你到底看没看清刚才发生了什么
Did you actually see what just happened there?
Daryl 我有种糟糕的感觉
Daryl, I get the terrible feeling
你是想让我做好心理准备
that you're preparing me
来接受你厌烦了园艺工作这件事
for the fact that you've had it with gardening
未来还得倚靠魔法
and that the future lies in magic.
这不是魔术把戏 Wendy
That was not a trick, Wendy.
这玩意之前放在Runny Green的床下
This stuff was under Runny Green's bed.
你在Runny Green的床下做什么
What were you doing under Runny Green's bed?
哦 我的天啊 抱歉
Oh, God! Sorry.
所以他来了吗
So, is he here yet?
他两个小时之后才会来
He won't be here for another two hours.
现在这的人都没认真的
Nobody's here now.
我是说 瞧瞧他们
I mean, look at them.
都没想过要认真扮成怪物 对不对
Haven't exactly tried, have they?
哦 我的天 好吧 他认真了的
Oh, my God. Well, he has.
哦 我的天 这也太酷了
Oh, my days, that is so cool.
你是谁 - 我是霉德
Who are you? - Mould.
不我的意思是 你的真名
No, I mean, like, who are you?
我是方格菌家的霉德
I am Mould of the House of Fungus.
我不在名单上 你没有邀请我
I'm not on the list. You didn't invite me.
但是我觉得我还是要过来
But I thought I'd come anyway
因为有时候你得坦陈
because sometimes you just have to say,
"这就是我 原原本本的我"
"This is me. As I really am."
这就是你的真面目吗
And that's who you really are?
是的 我就是你的达文特里怪物
Yes. I am your Daventry Monster.
你真是恶心死了
You're completely disgusting.
你叫霉德 对吧
Mould, yeah?
干得好 霉德
Nice one, Mould.
六根手指 那可真是太恶心了
six fingers. That is just so gross.
怎么啦 - 是霉德
What is it? - It's Mouldy.
他变成了污魔怪形态
He's gone Bogeyform.
要是我能闻到他 那菌多利亚也可以
If I can smell him, so can Bactoria.
Daryl 拜托
Look, Daryl, please.
怪物 有复活能力的气体
Monsters. Resurrection gas.
女儿 生日宴会
Daughter. Birthday party.
她又不想让咱们参加
She doesn't want us in there.
我也不觉得自己想呆在这里
I don't think I want to be in here.
听着 Daryl 那个瓶子的事情 它挺吓人的
Look, Daryl. The bottle thing, it was freaky,
而且我也很遗憾你昨晚做了噩梦
and I'm sorry that you had a bad dream last night.
我没有做梦
I did not have a dream.
但哪怕就这一次 我也很想
But for once, I would just love
为我们的女儿好好做点事情 好吗
to do something properly for our daughter, okay?
所以拜托你 让一下
So please, just move.
我好绝望 - 找个牧师聊去吧
I despair. - Talk to a priest.
Garden先生
Mr. Garden.
来坐这 和我讲讲作为一名Hedge家人的事
Sit down here and tell me all about being a hedger.
大家晚上好 来的就我一个
Evening, everybody. Only me.
我的天 那是什么
My word, what's that?
颜色真奇怪
What a colour.
那是我的 别走
That's mine. Don't go.
你知道吗 Daryl
Do you know what, Daryl?
我觉得我非要得到那个东西不可 它太美了
I think I'm going to have to have that. It's so beautiful.
你想让我为它付多少钱 开个价吧 甜心
How much do you want for it? Name your price, sweetie.
我富得流脓 - 恐怕这东西是不卖♥♥的
Stinking rich, I am. - I'm afraid it's not for sale.
哦 哦不 它可以卖♥♥的
Oh. Oh, no, it... It is.
一万英镑
Ten thousand pounds.
成交 把你的银行账号♥信息给我 我们现在就转账
Done. Give us your bank details, we'll do a transfer right now.
不 我们不要
No. We will not.
如果这东西值她一万的话 就不是因为颜色了
If it's worth 10 grand to her, it's not because of the colour.
我不知道你是什么人 Eve
I don't know who you are, Eve,
我也不知道"家族朋友"是什么意思
I don't know what "Family friend" means,
但是你可以得到这个保证
but you're in on this
那就是你得不到那个东西的
and you're not having that stuff.
这可真是一个很糟糕的生意决定 Daryl
That's a very poor business decision, Daryl.
我很擅长做生意
I excel at them.
呆在这儿 我亲骇的
Stay here, my direling.
"呆在这儿"啥都不干哦
"Stay here" Be sluggered.
我给过你机会了
You had your chance.
我给过你机会了
You had your chance.
愚蠢
Stupid!
哦 天啊
Oh, for heaven's sake,
你可真无聊
you're so just boring.
你的小朋友去哪儿啦
Where's your little friend?
哦 嗯 在那边和那个怪物在一起呢
Oh, um, over there with the monster.
霉德
Mould!
Runny
Runny?
嘿 这不是那个怪人吗
Yay, it's the creep.
一到要搞怪的时候 这个怪胎就跑到Lucy的宴会上了
When the going gets weird, the weird turns up at Lucy's party.
这儿只有一个怪胎哟 Dean 我的朋友Runny可不是
There's only one creep here, Dean. And it's not my friend Runny.
你本可以获得一万英镑的 Hedge先生
You could have had 10 grand, Mr Hedge.
Wendy - 但是你没要 又得到了什么
Wendy! - Instead of which, what have you got?
脑震荡 折断的肋骨 还有一颗被扭下来的脑袋
Concussion, broken ribs, and a twisted-off head.