方格斯的奇幻旅程（2015）

他听起来特恶心
He sounds ever so slimebags.
还邀请我们去吃鱼卵
He's invited us round for spawn.
得了吧 回到货车里 Van
Right, back in the van, Van.
所有人 我们回我家去
All of you. We're going back to mine
来上一堂关于如何使用刀叉的大♥师♥课
for a master class in knives and forks,
教教你们先茶后奶
milk-in-last
如果他们上了道蟾蜍进洞也不能反应过激
and not getting over-stimulated if they offer you toad in the hole.
没有蟾蜍 也不会有洞
There's no toad, there's no hole.
上车
In.
这就对了
There you go.
全部搞定了 B女士
All done, Mrs B.
太感谢你了 Hedge先生
Thank you so much, Mr Hedge.
请用 - 哇 这是什么
Please. - Oh, what's this?
让我们来先瞧一瞧这是什么
Let's have a look at this one here, shall I?
哇
Oh!
味道真特别啊
They're different.
这就是你准备从事的工作吗 亲爱的
Is this what you're going to be doing now, dear?
你准备做一个水管工
You're going to be a plumber?
维修管道是一门艺术 B女士
Plumbing's a fine art, Mrs B,
但它超出我的能力范围了
but it's a little bit out of my league.
我 我只是一个卑微贪婪又古怪的临时工
I'm... Just a humble grasping odd jobberer.
不好意思
Excuse me.
贪婪古怪临时工有限公♥司♥ 这是个玩笑
Grasping Odd jobberations Ltd, that's a joke.
我爱你 别生气
I love you, don't be cross.
我收到你的短♥信♥了 这些人是谁
I got your message. Who are these people?
是我们的新邻居
It's our new neighbours.
他们人很好 可能是在证人保护计划中
They're lovely, possibly on a witness protection scheme.
他们有点奇怪
They're a little bit weird.
嗯 听起来和咱们是一类人
Hmm, sound like our kind of people.
而且很胖
And fat.
叫我机会主义者吧
Call me an opportunist,
我只是想到这一点没准有价值
I just thought that might be useful.
Daryl 假如我宰了我的员工们
Daryl, if I slaughter my employees,
你会来监狱看我吗
will you come and visit me in prison?
嗯 听起来你需要一名律师
Hmm. Sounds like you need a lawyer.
嗯 我倒曾经嫁给过一个律师
Hmm, I was once married to one.
再见
See you.
我该付你多少钱 亲爱的
How much do I owe you, dear?
这个嘛 我
Well I...
这个是免费的 B太太
It's on the house, Mrs B.
不 我根本没法收取一位
No, I couldn't possibly charge a lady
能做出超赞甜品的女士的钱
who makes such epic sweeties.
噢 谢谢你
Oh, thank you.
不 谢谢你
No, thank you.
我去拿我的工具盒
I'll just get my tool box.
多好的小伙子呀
What a nice man!
称赞招待你们的主人 - 可以做
Complimenting your hosts? - Do.
文雅地嘬饮杯子里的饮料 - 可以做
Sipping politely from the cup? - Do.
文雅地嘬饮马桶里的水
Sipping politely from the lavatory?
可以 不能
Do... Not do.
我知道这个的
I knew that.
保持冷静就对了 - 把头放哪儿
Just keep your head. - Where?
方格菌 你疑惑的时候 闭上嘴
Fungus, when in doubt, mouth shut.
尽量别放屁 打嗝 挠屁屁 抠鼻子或者抠脚
Try not to fart, burp, pick your bum, nose or feet
也别对主人家的屁♥股♥ 鼻子
or show excessive interest in the bums, noses
和脚展现出过分的兴趣
and feet of your hosts.
而且绝不能替他们这些部位抓痒
On no account pick them for them.
啊哈 欢迎Van你们一大家子光临
Ah! Welcome Van and the full fleet.
Daryl Daryl
Daryl Daryl...
我可以赞赏你那柔软干燥的人类肌肤吗
May I compliment you on your soft dry human skin.
这样可以吗
Is that all right?
真感谢你啊
Thank you very much.
我家女英雄现在还没回来
Monstrous regiment aren't back yet,
恐怕只有我一个人
I'm afraid, it's just me.
但是进屋吧 进屋
But come in, come in.
虽然我泡茶泡的很难喝
I make a disgusting pot of tea,
但是 嘿 我们能解决这个问题
but, hey, we'll manage.
Bunny 请进来吧
Bunny, please, come through.
来吧
Come through.
太好了 小心脚下
Lovely. Watch the step.
来吧 来吧 来吧
Come in, come in, come in.
就是这儿啦 抱歉有点乱
This is it. Excuse the mess,
我们就住这儿
but we live here.
好啦 喝茶么 大家
Right. Tea, everyone.
喝茶怎么样 你想喝什么 Runny
Tea? What about you, Runny?
如何 来点碳酸饮料 - 好的 谢谢
Eh? Something fizzy? - Yes, please.
好 太棒了
Okay, lovely.
嗯好
Okay.
把它们先放一边
Put them over there.
成了 所以和我讲讲你们的事吧
All right, so, tell me about yourselves.
你做什么工作过活的
What do you do for a living?
这个嘛 我们主要是靠吃东西和保持呼吸
Well, mostly, we eat and keep breathing.
你真是太明智了
How wise you are.
你真是太明智了
How wise you are.
我们都该记住这件事
We should all remember that.
不是 我是问你每天都做些什么
No, I mean how do you spend your days?
我睡得很多
I sleep a lot.
尤其是弄了一身黏液之后
Especially after a skinful of slime.
而且我也在做点小活计
And I do little jobs
就在房♥子周边
around the house.
Van 那你和我真是志趣相投啊
Van, you're a man after my own heart.
我们当然有厕所
We have a lavatory, of course,
但是这环境它的气氛太舒适了
but it's so much more refreshing for the ambience.
我是说在房♥子周围做的那点活计
The little jobs around the house.
水烧开了
Kettle's boiling.
要牛奶吗各位
Milk, everyone?
他想给所有人喂奶
He wants to milk everyone?
你可以给我太太喂奶
You're welcome to milk my wife,
但我就不 嗯
but I'm not, erm...
给调皮的零工Hedge先生
For naughty odd job Mr Hedge,
他无偿为我修水管
who will take no payment for correcting my tap.
Dinky Bharaj
Dinky Bharaj.
哦 她回来了
Oh, here she is.
你们好呀
Hello, hi.
欢迎来到纽克罗夫特街
Welcome to Newcroft Way.
真抱歉我回来晚了
I'm so sorry I'm late.
我不得不裁掉我的几个员工
I had to eviscerate some members of staff.
Van Bunny Runny
Van, Bunny, Runny,
这位是Wendy 我最亲爱的老婆
this is Wendy, my favourite wife.
哦 别理他
Oh, just ignore him!
其实还有一位Eve 但是她头疼
There's also Eve, but she's got a headache.
这样啊 那
Right... Well...
呃 Bunny 我想着得和你谈谈臀腰减肥中心的事
Uh, Bunny, I simply must talk to you about Bums and Tums.
但是 你能帮我去拿点买♥♥的东西吗
But, erm... Would you just help me with the shopping?
就在车里 - 嗯
From the car? - Hmm.
现在就去
Straight away.
你的罐装"毒药"
Cancer in a can.
喝吧
Enjoy.
开除
Eviscerations?
臀部
Bums?
你不能喝这种东西发出这么大动静
You're not drinking anything that makes that amount of noise.
这些干净人说的漂亮话啊
Pretty talk for Drycleaners
她没钱啊
She had no money.
我开始工作的时候并不知道啊 对吧
I didn't know that when I started the job, did I?
好吧 好吧 这是我的错误
Okay, okay, it was a mistake.
一个很可悲的错误
A pathetic mistake.
这就算是在做慈善
It was the charitable thing to do...
噢 你现在做起慈善了 是不是
Oh, you're a charity now, are you?
Lucy真会为你而自豪
Lucy's gonna be so proud.
你连尝一口都不肯
You won't even try it.