方格斯的奇幻旅程（2015）

一档有点困难 但
First gear's a bit of a challenge, but then
剩下的档位也是 这是什么鬼
so are all the rest, so what the hell.
如果我要你解释一下这个
If I were to ask you to explain this,
我能得到一个稍微像人话的回答吗
would I get an even vaguely intelligible response?
她是对未来的投资
She's an investment in the future.
别走啊 别走
Don't go. Don't go!
听着
Listen.
更宏大的工作需要更庞大的设备
Bigger jobs need bigger kit.
你得预想一下 - 你知道吗
You've got to speculate... - Do you know what?
我讨厌这种对话
I hate this kind of conversation.
哪一种对话 - 就是这种对话
What kind of conversation? - The kind of conversation
你在讲话我得听
where you talk and I listen.
我的工作
My job...
我的工作糟糕透了
My job is grim,
我的老板不信任我
my boss doesn't trust me,
我的员工是一群傻瓜
my staff are morons,
我工作那么长时间也没得到相应的报酬
and I'm not paid enough for the hours that I do.
然而我还是早早去上班
And yet I'm leaving for work early
只是为了避开这些事
just to get away from this.
早上好
Morning!
你不是答应了Bunny去减肥中心吗
Didn't you promise Bunny Bums and Tums?
什么 - 对不起
What? - Sorry.
这玩意就是这样的
It just does that.
还不错
Not bad.
还不错 还不错
Not bad, not bad.
老妈 你在干嘛
Mother, what are you doing?
在你老爸下来之前 让这个地方舒服一点
Making the place all nice before your father comes down.
我闻到了发臭的菠萝
Do I smell putrid pineapple?
恩 这只是让你这地方有一点香气
Well, it just perfumes the place up a bit.
让它更像家
Makes it more like home.
那可是相当多腐烂的污秽物
That's a handsome load of festering filth.
放这东西的地方有更多呢
Plenty more where that came from.
那个浴缸床舒服吗
Was the tin bed comfortable?
太完美了 亲爱的
Poxtuberous, my smear.
你睡在浴缸里
You slept in the bath?
那你还能怎么办
What else can you do with it?
这里有个超大卧室
There's a massive bedroom!
喔 恩 Eve睡着呢
Oh, uh, Eve's using it.
对了 恩
Yes... Um...
Eve会和我们一起住吗
Will Eve be living with us?
她为什么会和我们住 她有她自己的房♥子
Why should she? She's got her own house.
我不知道 她可能会这么做
I don't know. She might do.
这真的取决于她
It's up to her really.
好了
Right.
我的早晨已经被毁了 现在换你了
My morning has been ruined, and now it's your turn.
你♥爸♥说我们得友好点
Your father says we have to be nice,
所以我们出发去做友好的事
so let's go and be nice.
想象一下如果邻居们看到这个
Imagine if the neighbours saw this?
邻居们不在这儿 亲爱的
The neighbours aren't here, drear.
这是什么
What's that?
这可能是邻居来了
That's probably the neighbours.
噢
Oh!
早上好
Morning!
我们来这里带你去臀腰减肥中心
We're here to take you to Bums and Tums.
皮具中心 - 没错
The Leather Centre. - Exactly.
我给你弄到一件这个 免费的(在房♥子上)
I've got you one of these, on the house.
恩 露西想知道
Er, Lucy here was wondering
Runny想不想出去玩一会儿
if Runny wanted to hang out for a bit,
是吗 - 没错
weren't you? - Yeah.
一起出去 带他转转
Go out. Show him around.
带他转哪
Show him a round what?
好的 为什么不把它穿上呢
Right, why don't you pop that on?
呃
Hmm.
隔壁那个亲爱的妻子来了 还有她那个化妆的小孩子
The favourite wife is here with the small painted child
她想让霉德出去看一圈
who wants Mould to go and look at circles
我还拿到这个皮具臀腰中心的东西
and I've got leather Bums and Tums.
现在事情已经失去控制了
This is getting out of hand.
别搞笑了
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
这小伙子当然该去了
Of course the boy must go.
Bunny也是
And so must Bunny.
穿上它
Put it on.
别在这穿 看在老天爷的份上 我还没吃早饭呢
Not here. For God's sake, I haven't had my breakfast.
我能带点钱吗
Please can I have some money?
我不知道转圈要花多少钱
I don't know how much circles cost.
当然可以了 亲爱的
Of course, pet.
这就是你的乐趣 是不是啊
This is the fun, is it?
你终于意识到了
Now you're getting the idea.
顺便说一下 我希望你也能离开这个房♥子
By the way, I want you out of the house as well,
去别的地方
so just go somewhere else.
为什么
Why?
不管你的事
None of your business.
我永远都不会原谅你这件事情的
I am so never forgiving you for this.
童年里最重要的事情啊 亲爱的
The important thing about childhood, darling,
就是等你长大了
is to have something interesting
就有有趣的事情可以告诉你的心理咨♥询♥师了
to tell your therapist about when you grow up.
就这样吧
That'll do.
看看你
Look at you.
已经准备好行动了
All ready for action.
你戴了一条领带
You're wearing a tie.
我们要出去了啊
We're going out.
绝不
Never.
那 过来
Come on then.
去散步
Walkies.
玩的开心点啊 孩子们
Have fun, kids!
我们可以走了吗
Shall we?
你的汽车震动吗
Does your motor vehicle vibrate?
我们来研究一下吧
Let's find out.
看看你
Look at you.
即使真身隐藏在干净人的伪装下
Even veiled in the fleshly envelope of a Drycleaner,
也能看到你粗壮的大腿 还有雄壮的腰身
you are thick in thigh with a fine forward waistline.
呃
Eh?
但你的目的是什么
Yet what purpose do you serve?
你再也不能掌控你自己的命运了
You are no longer captain of your destiny.
生活 基本就是根香蕉
Life, ultimately, is like a banana.
前一分钟还在你的手里
One minute it's in your hand.
下一分钟 就抹在毛孔上
Next minute, it's up your steam hole.
多好的早晨啊
Lovely morning.
或许不是
Or not.
嘘
Shh!
他是谁 Van
So who was he Van?
那个厚脸皮先生是谁
Who was Mr. Cheekychops?
我不知道 Daryldaryl.
I don't know, Daryldaryl.
但是他的味道最恶心了
But he had the most repulsive smell.
真的吗
Really?
闻起来像什么
What did he smell of?
一些人会假装他们是另外的人
Someone pretending to be someone that he wasn't.
那么所有人都不会开心
And neither of the someones was pleasant.
如果你不介意我问你的话
If you don't mind my asking,
你在不在证人保护计划名单上
are you on a witness scheme?
哦
Oh
你是被迁过来的吗
Have you been relocated?
是的
I have.
好的 好的
Okay. Okay.
好的 我不会问你你做过什么了
Okay, I'm not going to ask you what you did.
你做了什么
What did you do?
我曾经
I used to...
我晚上的时候会去人们的家里
Let myself into people's houses at night.
你伤害了他们 - 从来没有过
Did you hurt them? - Never.
你现在还在这么做吗
Have you stopped doing that?
我现在已经完全不同了
I'm very different now.