难处之人（2015）

Difficult People S01E03

Part 2 May 24, 2021, 9:07 a.m.

Look at that.
看看你呀
What the hell are you doing to my friend?
你♥他♥妈♥对我朋友干嘛呢?
I'm gonna call the cops.
我要叫警♥察♥咯
Sorry, sorry, I'm, uh,
抱歉抱歉我
I'm Abra Cadouglas.
我是阿布拉·卡多格拉
Grateful recovery alcoholic and magician.
一个在戒酒的酒鬼兼魔术师
What's that in your pocket, sir?
你口袋里是什么先生?
What? Check your pocket.
啥? 看看你的口袋里
What?
啥?
Abra Cadouglas. Abra Cadouglas, yes.
阿布拉·卡多格拉阿布拉·卡多格拉是的
Williamsburg's premier sober magician.
威廉斯堡总理的清醒的魔术师
There's more than one?
不止一个吗？
She's here every Tuesday night.
她每周二晚上来这儿
She does this, uh, magic show
表演一些这种魔术
that's themed around her recovery.
以她的康复为主题
I freakin' love you.
我可喜欢你了
Oh, thank you so much, thank you.
太谢谢你了谢谢
Magic is an illusion
魔术是一种
made up of many steps.
用很多细节拼接成的幻觉
Sobriety takes just 12.
清醒只占12%
First, we admitted that our lives
首先我们得承认
had become unmanageable.
生活已经变得无法操纵
Is this crazy or is this good?
这是算疯狂呢还是成功了呢?
Once I was so desperate for alcohol
有一次我特别想喝酒
that I shoplifted a can of hairspray
我就去商店偷了一罐发胶
and I drank it.
喝掉了
Woke up three days later
三天后我在船上醒来
on a boat with Bill Pullman.
身边是比尔·普尔曼（《独♥立♥日》中饰演总统）
Now that's crazy.
现在够疯狂了
Abra Cadouglas is my name,
我叫阿布拉·卡多格拉
and I have to get out of the bar.
我得离开这个酒吧了
So that's gonna happen.
就是这样
Goodnight. Bye.
晚安拜拜
Makes me laugh so much.
她总是有让我笑到肚子痛的本事
Last week she sawed her sponsor in half.
上周她见到了她的半资助人
That does not surprise me.
我并不惊讶
I'm Billy, by the way.
我是比利
Hey, I'm Fred. Hey, Fred.
嗨我是弗雷德嗨弗雷德
Uh, you didn't happen to see
你刚刚没看到
our show just now, did you?
我们的表演吧?
Oh, no, no, I-- you know,
没有没有我
I usually try to make it
我通常也会来这儿
here for the bingo as well,
参加宾果狂欢夜
but I had to work late tonight.
不过我今晚得上夜班
That is more than okay.
这真是再好不过了
Are you in show business also?
你也是演员嘛?
No, God no, I'm a dentist.
不当然不是我是个牙医
Dentist? Wow, that's refreshing.
牙医? 哇真是让人耳目一新啊
Are you single? Rested and ready.
你还单身吗? 时刻准备着
If that's the case, I shall be excusing myself.
如果是这样的话我就得失陪一会儿了
Billiam, have a beautiful night.
比廉玩的愉快
Nice meeting you.
很高兴认识你
I can, um, get you another beer?
我能请你喝杯啤酒吗?
I'm gonna fuck you, yeah.
我他妈喝多了会干♥死♥你♥的当然可以
Wow, okay. I'm just kidding.
哇好吧开玩笑啦
Wanna see a show tomorrow night?
明晚要不要一起看节目?
Yeah, great.
可以呀
God,
天哪
I just think it would be so disgusting
我觉得每隔五分钟就要检查一个口腔
to look inside a mouth every five minutes.
实在太恶心了
Well, I mean, you know, when it's gross,
其实一般来说恶心的地方
it's usually more about the tongue
都是舌头
than it is the teeth.
不是牙齿
That… that is just disgusting.
太恶心了
Tongues are weird, they're scaly.
舌头长得很奇怪藏污纳垢
No. Later.
别说了等会儿再说吧
Oh, my God, there's Marc Shaiman.
天哪那是马克·赛门
What? Who's that?
谁? 那是谁?
He co-wrote Hairspray, and, uh, Smash,
他和马丁·肖特一起写了
and for Martin Short.
《发胶》和《名声大噪》的剧本
I love that you know all this stuff.
我就喜欢你什么都懂的样子
I just see a guy with gaps in his incisors.
在我眼里他就是个门牙漏风的傻小伙子
Well, there's that. Yeah.
是这样的嗯
So, Billy, what do you think
比利你觉得
is like the greatest injustice
在娱乐圈里
in show business?
最不公平的事是什么?
Wow, good question.
哇哦问题很犀利啊
I think the greatest injustice
我觉得最不公平的事
is probably that Martin Short
得算是马丁·肖特
doesn't have an EGOT.
没有EGOT了吧
You know what the EGOT is?
你知道EGOT是什么吗?
It's someone who has an Emmy, Grammy,
就是一个人同时手握艾美奖格莱美奖
Oscar, and Tony.
奥斯卡奖和托尼奖
And I think all my second place grievances
最不公平的第二名呢
are probably about Marisa Tomei.
我要颁给玛丽莎·托梅（曾出演《不伦之恋》）
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
女士们先生们
if you've been to the show before,
如果你看过这个节目呢
you know that I always love to sing a song
你就知道我总是爱唱这么一首歌♥
and dedicate it to everybody with a pussy.
并且要把它献给每个有小鲍鱼的女人
Now if you have a pussy, I wanna hear you say,
如果你也有小鲍鱼我要听到你们大声说
"I love my pussy!"
“我爱我的小鲍鱼!”
I love my pussy!
我爱我的小鲍鱼!
I said, "I love my pussy!"
跟我说 “我爱我的小鲍鱼!”
I love my pussy!
我爱我的小鲍鱼!
Can I get a volunteer for me?
有人愿意上台吗?
Anyone?
谁都可以的?
Come on up, Horshack, let's go!
上来吧霍夏科来吧!
Come on up! She chose me!
上来吧! 她选中我啦!
He's fired up.
他整个人都燃起来了
Sit down, baby.
宝贝儿坐下来
He's a participator?
他还是个热情的参与者?
Yes, a participator.
对他还上台去了呢
I had no idea.
我搞不懂啊
The second Bridget asked for a volunteer
布丽奇特第二次问有没人自告奋勇
to come up on stage,
上台的时候
his hand shot up faster than Kevin Spacey's fly
他的手伸得比凯文史派西在《报童传奇》
at the opening of Newsies.
开幕式上的反应还要快
What is that even?
这些人怎么想的呢?
To not be embarrassed
让观众参与
by even just the idea
这个想法
of audience participation.
我连想想都觉得羞耻
I don't know, I don't even like it at a concert.
我也不懂我在演唱会上都不这样
Like when the lead singer goes,
比如主唱说
"Now you guys sing!"
“大家一起唱!”
No, fuck you.
我不唱唱你妹啊
Yeah, I paid you to sing.
对啊我是花钱来让你唱的
Thank you very much.
我谢谢你全家
I don't ask Imagine Dragons
我又没让让迷幻乐团
to come here and wait tables.
来这儿当服务员
It's bullshit.
简直扯淡
And if I am gonna sing,
就算我要唱
there's thousands of people there.
但周围还有几千人呢
Would my voice make a difference?
我唱不唱会有任何区别吗?
No, not when everybody around you is doing it.
没有别人都在唱又没人听到我的
It's like voting.
就和投票一样
That's elitist.
让精英来就行了啊
Why are you the only ones
为什么就只有你们
that get to sing and dance
去唱歌♥跳舞
or whatever the hell it is you do?
或者做什么别的事儿啊?
You think I'm a dancer? Really?
你真的觉得我是个舞者?逗我呢?