黑镜（2011）

‎我办不到 马克
I can't, Mac.
‎对 你不能离开克里什
Yeah, no. You can't leave Krish.
‎不行
No. No, no, no, no.
‎-好吧…嘿 ‎-我不该来的
Well-- Hey. -I shouldn't have come.
‎-我不该来这里 ‎-琼
I should not have come here. -Joan.
‎我住在常住的那个套房♥ ‎我会在这里待三天
I'm in my usual suite, and I'll be here for three days.
‎是你吗 亲爱的?
That you, baby?
‎对
Yep.
‎嗨
Hi.
‎小青蛙喝酒了
Whoa. Froggy's been a-drinking.
‎嗯 我去参加欢送会
Yeah. It was a goodbye party.
‎希望你饿了
Oh. Well, I hope you're hungry.
‎真好吃
Amazing.
‎你放了盐吗?
Is that salt?
‎好了
All right.
‎嘿
Hey.
‎-你想看什么? ‎-我随便
What do you wanna watch? -Oh, I'm easy.
‎-看看流莓体上有什么吧? ‎-好
Let's see what's on Streamberry. -All right.
‎《宁静之海》如何?
Oh, how about Sea of Tranquility? -Eh.
‎埃里克说超级难看
Eric said it blows.
‎好吧 要是埃里克说超级难看…
Oh. Well, if Eric said it blows…
‎-好吧 ‎-好吧
Okay. -Okay.
‎讲苏格兰谋杀案的《亨利湖》呢?
Loch Henry, the Scottish murder thing?
‎我真的不能再看真实犯罪类的节目了
I can't really do another true crime.
‎-抱歉 看过《盖西》之后 我… ‎-好吧
I'm sorry, just after Gacy, I… -Okay.
‎这个怎么样…
What about…
‎怎么…
What--
‎我的天
Uh… Oh my God.
‎怎么了?
Uh… What?
‎“新剧《琼糟透了》”
"New drama. Joan Is Awful."
‎那是萨尔玛海耶克吗?
Is that Salma Hayek?
‎她的发型跟你一样
Uh, she even has your hair.
‎我的发型不是那样的
That's not my hair.
‎她的发型跟你的很像
Well, it's a lot like your hair.
‎而且她也叫琼
And she's even called Joan.
‎好吧 这个节目讲什么?
Okay. What even is the show?
‎不知道 不过…
No clue, but…
‎-我们看吧 ‎-不 不看《琼糟透了》
Well, we're watching it. -No, we're not watching Joan Is Awful.
‎不管它是什么节目
Whatever the hell it is.
‎按“播放”
Just hit play. -Mm.
‎拜托 按“播放”
Come on. Hit play.
‎很像我们的卧室
Well, it's a lot like our bedroom.
‎我的发型不是那样的
That's not my hair.
‎-她用的牙膏跟你的一样 ‎-好吧 只是…
She uses the same toothpaste as you. -Okay, just…
‎这很奇怪
This is just weird.
‎有点吓人
Yeah, it's a little spooky.
‎这个琼很可疑
This Joan is shady.
‎宝贝
Babe.
‎-宝贝? ‎-你应该看看这个
Babe? - You should see this.
‎看什么?
See what?
‎这是什么?
What is this?
‎叫《琼糟透了》
It's called Joan Is Awful.
‎是萨尔玛海耶克演的
It's got Salma Hayek in it.
‎她跟琼很像
She looks like Joan.
‎那份工作糟透了
That job sucked anyway.
‎是啊 大概吧
Yeah, I guess.
‎《琼糟透了》?什么鬼?
Joan Is Awful? What the fuck?
‎我的天
Oh my God.
‎我们要在酒吧看剧集吗?
We're gonna watch a TV show in a bar?
‎是啊 我们绝对要在酒吧看剧集
Yeah, we're absolutely gonna watch a TV show in a bar.
‎搞什么?
What the hell?
♪ Daddy on the Facetime You could never take mine ♪
♪ End up on the dateline, uh, uh, uh ♪
♪ Rich with no day job Hit your wop, wop ♪
♪ Always on the courtside, uh-huh, huh ♪
♪ B-b-billionaire boys wanna eat me out ♪
‎老天啊 那是你工作的地方
Holy shit. That's where you work.
‎好吧 你怎么做到的?
Okay, how did you do this?
‎-我怎么做到的? ‎-这是恶作剧 你怎么做到的?
How did I do this? -This is a prank. How did you do this?
‎-我没有… ‎-我他妈觉得一点都不好笑
Well, I didn't-- -I don't find it fucking funny.
‎我什么都没做
I didn't do anything.
‎咖啡味道如何?
How's the coffee?
‎糟透了
Dog shit.
‎我会叫人把咖啡机换掉
I'll get the machine replaced.
‎那就拜托了
Please do that.
‎-还有 珊迪等着10点一刻见你 ‎-琼?
Also, Sandy is waiting for that 10:15. -Joan?
‎-对 ‎-怎么了?
Yeah. -What?
‎天哪
Oh God.
‎天哪
Oh… oh God.
‎琼?
Joan? Jo… Jo… Joan.
‎琼?
Joan?
‎我惊恐发作了
I'm having a panic attack.
‎-好吧 ‎-我惊恐发作了
Uh… All right, um…. -I'm having a panic attack.
‎好 好吧 嘿 哇
Okay, okay. Okay. All right, hey, whoa.
‎还有 珊迪等着10点一刻见你
Also, Sandy is waiting for that 10:15.
‎-他还在那里吗? ‎-他还在那里
Is he still there? - He's still there.
‎-赶快结束吧 ‎-他们把我演成世上最娘娘腔的男人
Just get it over with. -They made me the gayest man on earth.
‎我喜欢他的穿着
Well, I like what he's wearing.
‎这是什么鬼?
What the fuck is this?
‎怎么会这样?
How the fuck is this? -Um…
‎给我五分钟
Give me five. -Oh.
‎好 当然 谢谢
Yeah. Sure. Thanks.
‎-老天 我的声音真是那样吗? ‎-拜托你安静点行吗?
Oh my God. Is that what I sound like? -Sh. Will you be quiet, please?
‎你觉得他比我帅吗?
You think he's better looking than me?
‎好 好了 嘿 把呼吸放慢一点 好吗?
Okay. All right. All right, hey. Let's slow our breathing down, right?
‎感受一下你脚下的地毯
Uh, feel the carpet beneath your feet.
‎我才不要感受地毯!
I don't wanna feel the carpet!
‎好了 嘿 别激动
All right, hey, whoa.
‎-感受一下地板 ‎-去它的地板!
Well, just feel the floor. -Uh… Fuck the floor!
‎你要开除我吗?
You're firing me?
‎没错 你的音频算法泡汤了
Correct. Your audio algorithm's not happening.
‎董事会认为它是雾件
The board thinks it's vaporware.
‎可是…
But, um,
‎我们的碳足迹
our carbon footprint.
‎他们才不关心
Not their concern.
‎我刚付了购买♥♥新公♥寓♥所需的定金
Well, I just put a deposit down on an apartment.
‎-他们也不关心 ‎-你看到她是什么样的人了
Also not their concern. -I mean, you see what she's like.
‎-我的天 她好冷漠 ‎-求你了
Oh my God, she is cold. -Please.
‎别在这个节骨眼上开除我
Not… not now.
‎眼下不做 更待何时?
If not now, when?
‎她没有这么说 -我的天
She did not say that. - Oh my God.
‎我没这么说 不是那样的
I did not say that like that. That is not what happened.
‎宝贝 我相信你
Baby, I believe you.
‎老天
Jesus Christ.
‎我的天
Oh my God.
‎我的狗该怎么办?
What am I gonna do with my dog?
‎-我的天 ‎-她让我很不舒服
Oh my God. -She's making me so uncomfortable.
‎真抱歉…
I'm so sorry--
‎-让布鲁图斯来把她送出去 ‎-你为何要安慰琼?
Get Brutus to escort her out. -Why are you consoling Joan?
‎-我为何要安慰琼? ‎-请给我一点时间
Why am I consoling Joan? - Please just give me a second.
‎她很伤心
She was upset.
‎她就是个贱♥人♥
She's being a bitch.
‎我的天 他们把我拍得像恶魔一样
Oh my God. They're making me look like a monster.
‎不 嘿 不会 听着
No. Hey, no, look.
‎听着 这…宝贝 那是萨尔玛海耶克
Look, it's-- Baby, it's Salma Hayek.
‎听着 大家都喜欢萨尔玛海耶克 ‎好吗?或许不是这么…
Look, people love Salma Hayek. All right? So, maybe it's not so--
‎或许不会如此…糟糕透顶?
So, maybe it's not so fucking bad?
‎如此荒谬可笑?
So fucking insane?
‎-太糟糕了 ‎-好 好的
This is bad. -Okay, all right.
‎-荒谬可笑! ‎-好吧 好
Fucking insane! -All right, okay.
‎听着 我只是想让你觉得…
Hey, look. I was just trying to make you feel…
‎-天哪 ‎-嘿 好 好了 嘿 你说得对
Oh God. -Hey, okay. All right. Hey, you're right.
‎-好吧 ‎-嗯