笑料一火车（1998）

（听不见的）
(inaudible)
-过来 这不是个比赛 -啥
- Come on. This isn"t the match. - What.
我说这不是比赛 快走
This isn"t the match. Come on.
-（叹气） -发生什么了
- (sighs) - What"s going on.
-也许我们应该修改一下调查问卷 -你的意思是
- Maybe we should revise the questionnaire. - What do you mean.
关于你是否拥有或租用一套公♥寓♥的问题 你不觉得这是个无关紧要的问题么
That question about do you own or rent your flat,do you reckon that"s irrelevant.
我开始想知道是不是有一个房♥子
I'm beginning to wonder if there is a one.
好问题 这是不是有个人
Good question. Is there a one.
你是一个人
You"re a one.
走吧
Come on.
这离我们需要的财政预算还差着十万八千里 我喜欢压力
There are four strands from the budget I'd Iike to stress.
财务部总理
首先 我知道这不会是个惊喜 税的减免
Firstly, and I know this won't come as a surprise, tax cuts.
-这是政♥府♥长久以来引以为豪的... -能停一下么
- This government has long prided itself... - (director) Can we stop.
-一个鸭子进入拍摄画面了 -我觉得进行的挺好的
- A duck went into shot. - I thought that was going rather well.
是的 刚才是挺好的 但是我们能看见那只鸭子
Yeah, it was, but we could see the duck.
-这不是一个节目的一个设计么 -呃 也许吧 我只是
- Isn't that the idea - Erm, well, maybe. I just...
我想知道我们是否能够回到最原始的创意尝试用条狗呢
I wonder if we shouldn't go back to the original idea and try the dog.
来一个像围炉畅聊的那样的 你懂得 就是比那稍微再严肃点
Have a sort of cosy fireside thing, you know. Just a bit more gravitas.
噢 是吗 行 那
Oh, really Right. Yes...
你不认为让人♥民♥看见我的鸭子让我感觉很亲民么
Don't you think it might be nice though people to see my duck.
呃.. 可能吧 是的 这不科学
Erm... Possibly, yeah.It’s not an exact science.
我只是在想.. 我们放了一个鸭子在这是不是传递了一个错误的信♥号♥♥
I'm just thinking... Are we giving off the wrong signals with a duck
你不觉得有点儿古怪么
Do you think it's a bit quirky.
我不会说这是古怪的 显然是我很喜欢鸭子 但是
I wouldn't say it was quirky.Obviously I Iike the duck, but...
我认为这是一种形象 你知道的
I just think as an image, you know,
鸭子在总理旁边 我不知道这会不会有效果
the chancellor next to a duck...I don't know if it works.
-我们就不能尝试用一只狗代替吗 -好吧 也许
- Could we try it with the dog - Well, maybe,
但是我必须要说我看过很多广播都用了狗
but I have to say that I"ve seen many broadcasts with dogs,
而且我只是觉得这种形式的别人一直在做
and I just think it's been rather done.
嗯 不 我已经开始感觉到不自在了
Hmm... No.I'm starting to feel Iess comfortable.
这就像 "今天我要跟你们讲讲关于财政预算的问题"
It's kind of, "Today I'd Iike to talk to you about the budget."
这就是有点 呃
It's just, erm...
反之 和鸭子的话 就自然多了
Whereas, with the duck, it's just more natural.
这鸭子能来来回♥回♥地走 人们可以看着他的嘴
The duck can walk back and forth,people can look at its beak,
我可以跟着鸭子的节奏走 这不是更好么
I can refer to the duck. It"s better, isn"t it.
好吧 我看见了 我知道你什么意思
Yeah, I see that. I do see that.
但是如果你坐的是扶手椅 你可以看着狗进行
But if you're in the armchair,you could refer to the dog.
嗯 我不太确定 而且人们该看不见鸭子了
Well, I"m not sure.PIus people won"t be able to see the duck.
对 对 呃
Right, right. Erm...
好吧 我们试试吧 还在录么
OK, Iet"s try one. Still running.
全速准备 5,4,3
(cameraman) At speed. In five, four, three...
鸭子啾啾地叫
(duck chirps)
这离我们需要的财政预算还差着十万八千里 但是我喜欢压力 首先
There are four strands from the budget.I'd Iike to stress. Firstly...
你可以看到Wilknsons的房♥子 他们经常在戛纳度假
You can see the Wilkinsons' house.They usually holiday in Cannes.
-是的 亲爱的 他们总是玩得很愉快 -我们在Bournemouth也玩得很开心
- Yes, dear. They always have a jolly time.- We shall have a good time in Bournemouth.
我发现了一个鹪鹩的巢
I've found a wren's nest.
鹪鹩妈妈会想知道是谁断了他的后代
Mummy Wren will wonder who's been interfering with her offspring.
-Johnny 把蛋放回去 -必须这样做么
- Johnny, put the egg back. - Must I.
照你妈说的做 孩子
Do as your mother says, young man.
妈妈 爸爸 我们可以在回家的路上停下来去挖姜么
Mummy, Daddy, may we stop for ginger pop on the way home.
如果你♥爸♥不介意的话
If your father doesn"t mind.
那应该很有趣 我们都需要在这炎热的天气里凉快一下
That should be very agreeable.We all need to cool down in this heat.
-我们六点时候回伦敦 -这样才能在7点的时候见Bertie和Bernice
- We"II be back in London by six. - In time for Bertie and Bernice at seven.
该死 他们来了吗 她太迷人了 但是他相当让人厌烦了
Dash it, are they coming She's charming, but he's rather a bore.
-我打赌他们不会长久的 -嗯..
- I expect they shan't stay long. - Hmm.
好了 回来吧孩子们 该走了
Well, come on children, time to go.
亲爱的 我要跟你好好谈谈
Darling. I've been meaning to talk to you about something.
谈什么 宝贝儿 很严肃的事情么
What is it, dear. Something serious.
是的 我觉得你应该坐下听我说 这是个相当严重的问题
Yes. I think you should sit down.It's rather a grave matter.
亲爱的 你要说什么
What is it, dear.
亲爱的 你说话说得太快了
Darling, you're speaking too fast.
语速太快
Speaking too fast.
对 而且还影响到了我们的孩子
Yes. And it's affecting the children.
他们的语速也太快了 还有我 我们都说话说得十分得快
They're speaking too fast too, and me, we're all speaking terribly fast.
让我来纠正它 你想离婚么难道
Let me get this right. Do you want a divorce.
那倒不是 亲爱的 我只是在想你应该说的稍微慢一点儿
No, darling. I just think you should speak a Iittle more slowly.
那不可能 你和孩子最好上车回家
That can't be done. You and the children had better go home in the car.
我需要自己回伦敦
I shall make it back to London on my own.
不用 那也没有用
No, that one don't work either.
这样不对 什么东西错了 发生什么了
It's the wrong... Something's wrong.What's going on.
先生 关于这个我非常抱歉 我记得她说过是533 但..
I'm really sorry about this, mister.I remember her saying 533, but...
它确实是53什么 你再试试 绝壁是其中一个
It's 53-something. Just keep trying.It's one of them.
我不可能花一整天时间就在这每一个都试一遍 你这是在玩我你知道么
I can't stay here all day trying every one.You're mucking me about.
你就不能自己看看上面写的么 "同一时间段只有两个孩子在银行保险库"
Can't you lot read anyway "Only two children in the bank vault at a time."
-我们为什么不试试其中的一个呢 -不 后退 你在做什么
- Why don't we try one of these - No, back off. What are you doing
这远比我们害怕的还要糟
This is far worse than any of us had feared.
G部门的小伙子们已经称之为"世界末日的应变"
The boys in Sector G are already calling it "the doomsday strain".
如果在显微镜的那些抗体复♥制♥失败的话
If the antibodies under that microscope fail to replicate,
病毒将是不可阻挡的
the virus will be unstoppable.
Stephen...成功了么
Stephen... has it worked
没有
No.
愿上帝怜悯我们的灵魂
May God have mercy on our souls.
我创造了一个该死的嵌合体 而他就像一个有恋母情结的孩子
We have created a bastard chimera,and Iike the oedipal child...
-确实是这样 -哈哈哈哈...
- It has really. - (both burst into laughter)
你俩这对嗜血的!
You bloody pair!
我知道昨天 我知道昨天
I knew yesterday. I knew yesterday.
喔 天呐!别那样吓唬我
Oh, God! Don't scare me Iike that.
噢 额滴神啊!
Oh, my God!
"恋母情结"
""Oedipal child.""
噢噢噢!
Ohhhh!
-这很严肃! -你让我继续说 行不
- This is serious! - You let me carry on, didn't you.
站在那就像个柠檬 像个没图蜡的柠檬
Standing here like a lemon.Like an unwaxed lemon.
嵌合体的战争!
Chimera wars!
还好我很有幽默感
It's lucky I've got a sense of humour.
Fruity 听着 我想更进一步的了解你
And fruity. Listen, I'd Iike to get to know you a little bit more.
-明天晚上一起吃饭怎么样 -为什么不呢
- What about dinner tomorrow night - Why not.
好的 我7点半去接你
AII right, I'll pick you up about 7.30.
-行 7点半可以 -好的 到时见
- OK, 7.30 will be nice. - OK. See you then.
再见
See you then.
他人很好 在城市里工作
He's nice. Works in the City.
真的吗
Really.
-怎么了 -我还不知道你家的地址
- Yeah - I don't know your address.
-嗯 需要我写下来么 -我觉得我可以记住
- Well, do you want to write it down - I think I can probably remember it.
好吧 Kentish镇 Admiral Walk66号♥ 4号♥公♥寓♥
OK. It"s Flat 4, 66 Admiral Walk,Kentish Town.
好的 7点半见
OK. See you at 7.30.
7点半
7.30.
-停车场长什么样 -啥
- What's the parking like - What
停车的地方是什么样的 我们可以事先在酒吧见或者我可以把车停在那
What's the parking like Shall we meet in a pub beforehand or can I park there.
呃 酒吧 不必了 停车场也可以的
Erm, a pub No, the parking's fine.
-很好 -可以的
- Great. - It's fine.
-再见 -到时候见
- See you.- See you then.
-他还好么 -有点神经质 问我停车的事情呢
- Is he OK.- A bit neurotic. Asked about parking.
-把你地址忘了 -你说什么
- Forgot your address.- What
-我把地址忘了 你还是写下来吧 -我觉得你最好写下来给我
- Forgot your address. Better write it down.- I think you'd better write it down.
-你有纸和笔么 -没有
- Have you got a pen and paper - No.
-好吧 呆在这 我去找一个 -好的
- OK. Well, stay there, I'll get one. - Right.
-我不知道 他可能有点健忘 -是吧
- No, I don't know. He's a bit forgetful.- Yes.
我知道 姐♥妹♥们♥
I know. Boys.
没有人有笔和纸
No one's got one.
真讨厌 我明天给你打电♥话♥吧 到时候你把地址告诉我
It's a bit annoying. I'll call you tomorrow,then you can give me your address.
好吧 你打电♥话♥给我吧
Right. You call me.
-明天给你打电♥话♥ -明天
- Call you tomorrow.- Tomorrow.
可是我不知道你的电♥话♥号♥码 号♥码
I don't know your number. Phone number.
-好吧 你是想我把电♥话♥号♥给你么 -是的
- Right. Do you want me to give it to you - Yes.
-把它写下来么 -我去找笔和纸
- Will you write it down - I'll get a pen and paper.
狗屁! 不好意思 我没有想说狗屎
No, shit! Sorry. I didn’t mean to say shit then.
没有人有笔纸 我已经问过了 你说吧 我努力记下来
No one's got one. I've asked already.You say it and I'll try and remember it.
好吧 0207 861 8000
OK. It's 0207 861 8000.
0207...
0207...
-861. -861...