笑料一火车（1998）

-太好了 -噢 我看过他的合同
- Brilliant. - Oh, I read his treatment.
我总是想到Lenny Henry
I kept thinking Lenny Henry.
我知道你想说什么 但是我想的是Neil Pearson
Hm, I know what you mean,but I thought Neil Pearson.
恩 他去Big Pictures公♥司♥了 你知道Biff Henderson的新公♥司♥吗？
Hm. He went in to see Big Pictures.You know, Biff Henderson's new company?.
他们要和他谈笔生意 但我觉得他没兴趣
They offered him a deal,but I don't think he was very interested.
-他联♥系♥你了 -是的
- Did he contact you? - Yes, he did.
你跟他说什么了
What did you say to him?.
我跟他说我们与他们最大的不同就是我们真正做电影
I said the difference between Big Pictures and us is that we actually make films.
-他太糟糕了 -是的 我知道
- He's terrible! - Yeah, I know.
Max Max 看看我找到了什么
Max, Max, Iook what I've found.
有什么不对吗 Max -赶紧把那衣服脱了
- Is something wrong, Max? - Take those clothes off at once!
但是为什么呀 我做了什么吗
But why?. What have I done?.
你应该知道我的第一任妻子是一个墨西哥土匪
You must know my first wife was a Mexican bandido!
我...我...
I... I...
哦 Max
Oh! Max!
抱歉...请先让我一个人静一静
PIease... PIease Ieave me.
该死的
Damn you!
你即使死了还在嘲笑我
You're still Iaughing now,even from the grave.
不是吗 Pedro
Aren't you, Pedro?
你好 这是我工作上的朋友Jim
Hello. This is a friend from work. Jim.
-你好 Jim -这是Nick 我的一个好友
- Hello, Jim. - Nick, a good friend of mine.
-我们刚刚在外面看到了Guy Ritchie -哦 真的吗
- We just saw Guy Ritchie outside. - Oh, yeah?
-他后面跟着俩保镖 -那是保镖吗
- He had two bodyguards with him. - Is that what they were?.
-不久前我还看到了Ralph Fiennes -看来他们是来订制西装的
- I saw Ralph Fiennes there the other week. - Well, they get their suits made round here.
-要点点喝的吗 -好的
- Shall I go t'bar? - Oh, yeah...
-我要一品脱的啤酒 -苦啤酒
- I'II have a pint of best, please. - Best.
-我要半品脱 -半品脱
- Half for me, please. - Half for you.
-棒极了 所以你跟Lenny一起共事 -是的 是的
- Great. So you work with Lenny? - Yeah, yeah.
-你刚刚说的保镖那事 -恩
- That thing you said about bodyguards. - Yeah?
你在讽刺我还没结婚吗
Was that some sort of reference to me not being married?.
抱歉
Sorry?.
是在指我还没结婚吗
Was that some kind of comment about me not being married?.
不
No!
如果你再对我还没结婚这件事评论半个字
Cos if you say anything about me not being married again,
我就把你的脑袋打进墙里面去
I'II put your fucking head through the wall!
-上酒咯 -小瓶的给你 -谢谢
- There we go. Little one for you. - Thank you.
快跟Nick讲讲...上周末我们在火车上碰到的事
Tell Nick about the...We were on a train at the weekend.
好吧 你告诉他吧 那是个好故事
Well, you tell him. It's a good story.
-恩... -你们在火车上
- Um... - You were on the train.
是的 是的 我们在火车上 恩...
Yeah. Yeah, we were on the train. Um...
是的我们在车厢里然后有一些孩子在踢一个可乐罐
Yeah, we were in the carriage and there were a couple of kids kicking a can of Coke about...
好了 好了 好了 好了 好 我知道这个故事怎么结尾了
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Yeah, I know how this story ends.
-你知道了 -结局是我没结婚 不是吗
- Yeah?. - Ends with me not being married, doesn't it?.
-啥 -难道你觉得我不知道你想说什么吗
- What? - You think I don't know what you're saying?.
可乐罐 不是探戈 而是可乐罐 你是又在讽刺我没有结婚
Coke cans. Not Tango, Coke cans. You're talking about me not being married again.
不 我没有 我...
No, I'm not! I'm...
难道孩子们踢可乐罐是又一个巧合吗
Oh, is it just some sort of coincidence then that the kids are kicking a Coke can?.
不是扔 而是踢 婚姻 可乐罐 我没结婚
Not throwing, kicking.Marriage, Coke can, me not being married.
你没完没了了是不 你是神经病吗
You won't Iet go of it will you?Are you mental?.
不 不 我并不是没完没了也没...
No. No, I'm not having a go or...
我不怕你
I'm not afraid of you.
#我在早上要结婚
# I'm getting married in the morning
#叮咚 铃铛正在鸣叫
# Ding-dong,the bells are going to chime
故事的时间够长了 不是吗
That took Iong enough, didn't it?
我估计Henman会在法国网球公开赛上有个绝佳的机会
I reckon Henman has a good chance in the French Open.
-我要走了 -你要干啥
- I'm gonna go. - You what?
-我要走了 我想走了 -好吧 好吧 朋友 我和你一起
- I wanna go, I wanna go. - AII right. AII right, mate. I'II come with you.
打扰一下 你们刚才说的...
是不是在暗示我没有结婚这件事
啊哈 开始吧 这里是脊柱
Ah-ha, here we go. There's the spine.
你可以看到所有的脊椎
You can make out all the vertebrae.
我现在移♥动♥到头部 你能看到这里的头部吗
I'm just going up to the head.Can you see the head just there?.
-恩... -什么事
- Um... - Yeah?
Van Morrison
Van Morrison.
注释：英国北爱一位著名音乐人,音乐风格复杂多样
他长着一张Van Morrison的脸
It's got Van Morrison's face.
你能把声音调大点吗
Can you turn it up a bit?
无论是爵士乐还是R&B 只要是音乐 我就是音乐
Jazz or R&B, but music.I'm about music.
我感到非常 非常抱歉
I'm very, very sorry.
好吧 确实非常 一如既往的 爽
Well, that was, as ever, spectacular.
-所以 她要出门多久 -我不知道
- So, how long is she away? - I don't know.
-她是你的妻子 James -那取决于要拍摄多长时间
- She's your wife, James. - It just depends how long the shoot is.
如果Voycek有需要可以使他们连续六个月都呆在那倒霉丛林里
Voycek'II keep them in that godforsaken jungle for six months if he has to.
你真是个混♥蛋♥ James
You're a bastard, James.
你也不是什么圣女 不是吗
You're no Sue Barker yourself, are you?.
-所以 Alix认为你今天在哪里 -在家
- So, where does AIex think you are today? - At home.
他和财务有个会
He's got an appointment with the accountant.
看起来他会失去萨维尔街的店
It Iooks Iike he might lose the Savile Row shop.
我老是觉得Alex光会耍嘴皮子
I always thought AIex was all mouth and trousers.
现在看来他根本就是光说不做
Now it would seem he's all mouth, without even the trousers.
谢谢 谢谢
Thank you. Thank you.
现在看 你的书里引用了Naomi Woolf的一句话
Now, there's a quote in your book from Naomi Woolf.
事实上那并不是引用了Naomi Woolf的
It's not actually a quote from Naomi Woolf.
那是一个朋友说的像是Naomi Woolf说的一句话
It's something a friend said was Iike something Naomi Woolf might have said.
好吧 所以你是同意这个引用或者这个朋友的观点
Right. So do you agree with the quote,or suggested quote,
我的意思是你认为媒体的性别歧视
to the effect that there's a gender bias in the media
几乎可以和60年代的种族歧视等同
which could be equated with discrimination against Afro-Americans in the 1 960s?.
不 我想说的是女人们现在还是不被关注
No. What I would say is that women are still not being Iistened to.
-是的 但是那... -让我说完好吗
- Yes, but that's... - If I may finish.
是的 当然现在我们有了说话的平台 我自己就是一个作家
Yes, of course we have a platform in the media - I myself am a writer -
但是作为一种意见表达者 我们还有很长的路要走
but as opinion-formers,we still have a very Iong way to go.
你认为你的观点是有价值的吗 作为一个女人
So do you think your opinions are valuable,as a woman?.
-他们当然很重要 -你认为这些建议都是感性大于理性的吗
- They're very important. - Think they're more emotional than logical?.
-不 我当然不这么认为 这是一种愚蠢的评论 -好吧 那是一些...
- No, of course I don't. That's a silly remark. - Well, that's something...
-那只是从表面上的观察 -是的 但是我能不能问一下...
- It's an obvious observation. - Yeah, but could I just ask...
对我来说 生活在80年代的人才会得出这样的结论
To me that's the kind of observation that was being made in the '80s...
请让我问一下...
If I could just ask...
#为什么女人不理智
# Why is a woman so illogical?
#当一个男人通情达理时
# While a man is rational and clear
#恐怕女人们的感性回答总是令人沮丧
# The feminine emotional response can be completely baffling, I fear
#看到没 男人会淡定地处理问题
# You see, a man will solve a problem with a minimum of fuss
#而女人 则与我们截然不同
# A woman, on the other hand, is quite different from us
#她会在吓人地尖叫吵闹又跺脚
# She'll scream and shout and stamp her foot in quite an alarming fashion
#当男人们淡定地处理问题
# While men address a problem with a minimum of passion
-#哦 为什么女人们让人如此气愤? -我们没有
- # Oh, why are they so infuriating? - We're not.
-#完全不讲道理? -我们没有
- # So utterly irrational? - But we're not.
-#情绪化地厉害? -我可不承认?
- # So damnably emotional? - I refute that.
#如此难缠? 如此不可预知?
# So frustratingly impossible? So thoroughly unpredictable?.
#如此令人抓狂? 如此歇斯底里?
# So consistently maddening? So deliriously hysterical?.
#哦 为什么她们就不能更...
# Oh, why can't they just be more...
#恩 就像男人一样?
# Well, Iike a man?
如果你期盼这种程度的辩论
If that's the level of debate you're expecting to have,
那我就没有什么可以说的了 太可笑了
then I really have nothing further to add. It's quite ridiculous.
如我所言
I rest my case.
啊 啊
Ah! Ah!
你喜欢那个 那这个怎么样 哦
You Iike that?. How about this?. Oh!
我一会儿再给你更多 现在我要温柔地折磨你
I'II give you more Iater. I'II break you in gently.
哦 天哪 啊
Oh, my God! Ah!
-我要♥射♥了♥ -咪呀
- I think I'm gonna come. - Miaow.
-完事了 -哦
- There we go. - Oh!
天哪 你太棒了
God, you are so good.
好吧 我再也不会抱怨了
Well, I've never had any complaints.
-有点累啊 -是啊 必须得
- I'm exhausted. - Yeah, you would be.
-你和你妻子能做多久 -我跟你说过 我不知道
- How Long's your wife away?. - I told you, I don't know.
-你没告诉过我 -没有吗
- You didn't tell me. - Didn't I?
-没有 -真的 我不知道
- No. - Well, I don't know.
这周我看到AIex和Jane了
I saw AIex and Jane this week.
她说AIex要把Savile街上的店面关了
She said that Alex was gonna have to shut the shop in Savile Row.
我觉得Alex光会说不会做
I thought AIex was all mouth and trousers.
现在看来他穷的只剩嘴了
Now it would seem he's mouth without even the trousers.
-太逗了 -是呀 我就是刚才想到的
- That is so funny. - Yeah, I just thought of it now.
你说过我们这周能走的 Patrick这周都会在Zurich的