笑料一火车（1998）

打扰一下 你听说过苏门答腊虎吗
Excuse me. Have you heard of the Sumatran tiger?
-就是这种 是吧 -是啊 现在只剩500只而已
- It's that,is it? - Yeah. There's only 500 Ieft.
-看起来真的很危险啊 -它们的确很危险
- It Iooks really dangerous. - They are dangerous.
这就是我们试图消灭它们的原因啊 因为它们超危险
That's why we're trying to get rid of them,cos they're so dangerous.
-我以为你要拯救它们呢 -天 不 我们准备要把它们淹死
- I assumed you were going to save them. - God,no. We're going to drown them.
-真的 -我们会先找一个废弃的水库
- Really? - We'II get an abandoned reservoir,
然后就把它们全部放进水库里
and then we're going to put them all in the reservoir,
最后再将水库装满水
and then fill up the reservoir with water.
-它们看起来很危险啊 -它们是很危险啊
- They Iook quite dangerous. - They are dangerous.
而且它们到处大便的 简直把所有人都惹怒了
They shit everywhere,as well. They're getting on everyone's tits.
-所以让我们一起来结束这一切吧 -有道理
- So Iet‘s put a stop to it. - Fair enough.
-你想出一份力吗 -当然 我可以做什么
- Do you want to help? - Yeah,what do I do?
-在纸上签个名吧 这样就行了 -好的 没问题
- Sign the paper,that’d be great. - Yeah,no problem.
停
Halt!
不 谢谢了
No,thank you.
滚开
Sod off.
走
Be on.
魂淡
You bastards.
抱歉 你帮我看一下孩子吗 我想上个洗手间
Excuse me. Could you keep an eye on my baby for a second,while I run to the Ioo?
太感谢了
Thanks ever so much.
你好 小宝宝
Hello,baby.
你自己一个人在干嘛
What are you doing here all on your own?
你有妻子吗
Haven't you got a wife?
你刚才说话了吗 你和我说话呢是吗
Did you say something? Were you talking to me?
我要抓你了
I'm going to get you.
谢谢你了 你真好
Thank you so much. That's really kind.
谢谢 再见
Thanks. Bye.
我要来咬你的腿了
I'm going to bite your Iegs.
蠢货
Tosser.
-你好 -你好
- Hello. - Hello.
我是Den Davis
I'm Den Davis.
来 你 再把它放大百分之二十 我想看看那些维多利亚时期的流浪儿
Come on,you. Zoom in another 20 per cent,I want to see those Victorian waifs.
那将会很模糊的 Den 我不能再继续放大了
They're going to be badly out of focus. I can't zoom in any closer,Den.
把它放大
Zoom in,
-照相机拍不了的 -再放大百分之二十 快
- The camera won't take it. - Another 20 per cent. Come on!
好的 但真的拍不到的
AII right,but it won't take it.
-什么玩意儿啊 -突然断了 它经不起这样弄
- What the? - It's snapped. It couldn't take the strain.
你 你
You... You...
Den 你现在是试图百分百的放大啊 之前没有人试过放大超过百分之七十的
Den,you're trying 100 per cent enlargement. Nobody's gone beyond 70 before.
不用你来告诉我我的相机能干什么
Don't tell me what I can do with my camera.
Den 你工作太努力了 这是今天第五十六份工作了 看看你自己
Den,you're working too hard. This is the 56th job today. Look at you.
你嗑药嗑得像今天是世界末日似的
You're popping pills Iike there's no tomorrow.
女士们 出去吧
Ladies,Ieave us.
现在
Now!
Den 你要镇静点
You've got to get a grip,Den.
大家都知道 你和Ken Morse都曾经是玩活动照相机最厉害的
You and Ken Morse were at the top of the rostrum camera game,everyone knew that.
但现在你的名气下来了 现在已经不再是60年代了
But you've fallen off the Iadder. It‘s not the Sixties any more.
人们即使不知道Sky Digibox的活动照相机也知道Ken Morse是谁
Anybody who doesn't know a rostrum camera from a Sky Digibox knows who Ken Morse is.
你又提那个烂名字了 我想把你的头撞烂
You mention that name again,and I'II put your head through the wall.
人们都说你已经疯了 Den 你在嗑药
People say you're Iosing it,Den. That you're popping pills.
而且还酗酒 婚姻出现问题
Drinking too much. Your marriage is in trouble.
不要提那个该死的Margaret 可以吗
Don't bring Margaret into this,all right?
我问你 你把我的药放哪儿了
I asked you,where'd you put my pills?
你把它们放哪儿了
Where'd you put‘em?
你看看你让我♥干♥的好事
Look what you've made me do.
你已经从Den Davis变成Den Dildo了 休个年假吧
You've gone from being Den Davis to Den Dildo. Take a sabbatical.
滚开 Greg 工作是我的生命
off,Greg. My work's my Iife.
你看过我去海边晒太阳了吗
Do you see me Iying on a beach somewhere getting a suntan?
他们在第四频道也这么说
They're saying the same at Channel 4.
-烂人 换我会去英国独♥立♥电视台 -Den 你还活在过去啊
- a-doodle-doo. I'II go to ITV. - You're Iiving in the past,Den.
做了The World At War后它们就不做纪录片了
Those haven't made a documentary since The World At War.
休息下吧 六个月后回来你会焕然一新的
Take a break. Come back in six months,you'II be a new man.
你 Dyke 你知道纪录片是什么吗
You,Dyke. What do you know about documentaries?
-你是学体育的而已 -够了 Den
- Your background‘s in sport. - Now,Den,that's enough.
-以免我们忘记 -Den
- And Iest we forget... - Den.
Roland Rat
Roland Rat.
你这个秃顶 满脸胡子的
You balding,bearded.
不 Den 不要打脸
No,Den. Not the face.
出去 滚出我办公室 BBC不会再让你在这了 永远都不会了
Get out. Get out of my office! You'II never work with the BBC again. Never!
保安 保安 这是BBC的老总Greg Dyke
Security. Security,this is Greg Dyke,the head of the BBC.
快
Hurry!
现在
你想拍照吗 作为你来伦敦的纪念品
Do you want your photograph taken? Souvenir of your trip to London?
呃 好啊
Uh,yes.
确定 好的
You do? AII right.
你需要做的就是平躺在我的活动照相机下面 保持不动
What you need to do is lie down flat and keep still under my rostrum camera.
来 来 躺下吧
Come on. Come on,Iay down.
一次一个人 你这个蠢女人 继续 躺下
One at a time,you stupid bitch. Go on,lie down.
躺在下面 就是这样 下面 就是这样了
Get down under. That's it,under. That's it.
躺在中间 如果你不躺在中间我怎么拍
In the middle. How can I do it if you're not in the middle?
现在 把这个弄下来 不要动
Now,Iet's get this down here... Keep still!
坚持住 我把镜头旋转下来
Hang on,Iet's spin it round.
那个在右边 你在干嘛
That on the right... What you doing?
不要动 我需要你
Keep still. I need you to...
你干嘛
What you doing?
-实际上我们准备要把它们淹死 -祝你好运 谢谢 是啊 淹死它们
- We're going to drown them,actually. - Good Iuck. Thank you. Yeah,drown them.
-我们曾经这样搞定过菲律宾乌龟 -你们成功消灭它们了吗
- Same with the Filipino tortoises. - Did you wipe them out?
-我们把它们炸了 我们用F-11s炸的 -好的 你们需要钱吗
- We bombed them. Got a couple of F-11 s. - Well done. You want money?
-你有零钱吗 -有
- If you've got any change?
- Yeah.
Skip 我们被击中了 二号♥引擎起火了
We're hit. Number two engine’s on fire,Skip.
-那就把它关了 -正在关了
- Shut it down,then.
- Shutting down.
它没反应 我们快没燃料了 我们回不了家了
She's not responding. We're Iosing fuel. We'II never make it home.
没事 我们快成功了
Come on,man. We're going to make it.
-现在方便吗 先生 -噢 你好 Dobbsy
- Is now a good time,sir? - Oh,hello,Dobbsy.
-啊 这是小James吗 -先生 是的
- Oh,is this Iittle James? - Yes,sir.
就是想让他看看他爸爸我工作的地方
Just showing him where his dad works.
你好啊 James
Hello,James.
你之前去过兰卡斯特吗
Have you ever been in a Lancaster before?
还没呢 那里正进行任务啊 先生 -我们要死啦
- Not one that’s on a mission,sir. - We‘re gonna die!
Skip 我们要死了 是吗 是吗
We’re gonna die,aren't we,Skip? Aren’t we?
差不多得了啊你 来 不用害羞 看看吧
Put a lid on it,man. Come on,don't be shy. Have a Iook.
这里可能看起来很多刻度盘 不过我们是要时刻留意着的 高度计
This might Iook Iike a Iot of dials,but that's the fellow we keep our eye on. The altimeter.
-就是这个一直旋转着的 -噢 好的
- That's the one spinning round and round. - Oh,yes.
猛烈碰撞了 它通常保持在10,000 英尺
Bumpity-bump. Usually that stays constant at about 10,000 feet.
引擎已经不行了 已经不行了 我不想死啊
We‘re Iosing her. We’re Iosing her. I don‘t want to die.
安静 控制好你自己
Come on,man. Pull yourself together.
James 你有没想过你读完书做些什么
Now,James. Have you given any thought to what you might do when you Ieave school?
-我们在下降了 -这很刺♥激♥是吧 James
- We're going down. - This is exciting,isn't it,James?
我也觉得
I'll say.
好了 机长和副驾驶员都牺牲了
Right. So,skipper and copilot have bought it.
只有我们俩在被占领的法国里
We're on our own in occupied France.
我们应该尝试去联♥系♥谁呢
So,who should we try to contact?
所以 我们该联♥系♥谁
So,who should we try to contact?
-叛军 -说对啦 James
- The Resistance? - That's right,James.
Hande hoch!(德文)
Hande hoch!
这意思就是 '举起手来' James
That means,'Hands up',James.
Schnell. Schnell!（德文）
Schnell. Schnell!
这又是在说 '快着点儿' James
That means,'Get a move on',James.
-你还好吗 -没事儿 我把手放这儿冲冲
- You all right? - Yeah,I'II just put it under here.
-看着挺恶心的 -是啊 真是恶心
- Looks nasty. - Yeah.
你知道的 我平时就玩儿血
You know me around blood.
你能帮我看下急救箱里有没有绷带啥的么
Can you check if they've got a bandage in that first-aid thing over there?
没有 那里面什么也没有
No,there's nothing there.
我先走一步了啊 真是恶心死我了
I'm going to Ieave you to it. It's making me feel sick.
行 那我一会儿自己裹个纸啥的 那样就行
OK. I'II just dab it with a tissue,or something Iike that. That's what it wants.
-切着手了 -是啊
- Cut your finger? - Yeah.
-你应该弄个绷带什么的裹住它 -箱里没有绷带了
- You should put a bandage on that. - There's no bandages in the thing.
这样应该就行了 谢谢你
That should be enough. Thank you.
你应该弄一把剪刀来剪断它
You need some scissors to cut the thing.
没厕纸啦