笑料一火车（1998）

No, it's not gonna work, is it? Let's just... let's look at the script.
别这样啊
No. This is...
别别 那是我的
No, th-that's mine.
拜托 她在哪呢啊 咱们要迟到啦
Come on. Where is she? We'll miss the start of the show.
她之前没来过这里 可能有点迷路
She's hasn't been here before. It's probably taking her time finding the house.
太好了 她来了
Oh, great. That's her.
嗨 快进来
Hi. Come in.
-你好Jo -抱歉我来晚了 我有点路痴了
- Jo, hi. - Sorry I'm late. I couldn't find the address.
既然咱们有点晚了 那就开门见山吧
We're running a bit late too,so we'll head straight off.
这就是Dame Margot Fonteyn
This is Dame Margot Fonteyn.
你只需要在八点的时候给她一杯热可可然后九点的时候送她上♥床♥睡觉就好了
If you could just give her a cup of cocoa about eight and then send her to bed about nine.
她还要知道啥了吗
Is there anything else she needs to know?
她可是以为非常高贵的女士 所以你不可以在她面前表现粗鲁
She's a very elegant lady, so try not to swear in front of her or be coarse in any way.
我以为我是来照顾小孩子的
I was expecting... a child?
Dame Margot才不是小孩子
Dame Margot isn't a child.
-她是大英的芭蕾第一人 -是的
- She's the first lady of British ballet. - Right.
就这些了 咱俩快走吧 我们大约十点就回来了 谢啦
Better get a move on. OK. Back around ten. Thanks.
谢谢
Thank you.
我嘞个擦
Oh, shit.
我先生 他可比我在行
My husband, who knows a bit more than me about these things,
觉得它应该值两百英镑
thinks it might be worth about 200 pounds.
好吧 我觉得它可值更多的钱
Well, I think it's worth a bit more than that.
现在 我得说这块特别的表 在今天的行情
Now, I would say that this particular piece, at today's prices,
在这个地区的市场上可是
would fetch on the market somewhere in the region of...
价值一千五百万
1 5 billion pounds.
我真没想到它值那么多钱
That's a lot more than I'd thought.
-你觉得很吃惊吗 -是的 真是吓到了
- Surprised? - Oh, yes, very surprised.
你介意我
Would you mind if I... just...?
好了
Yes.
你不戴眼镜的时候真美
You're very beautiful without your glasses.
额 我只是
I... just...
Gerald快把你的爪子从那对咪♥咪♥上拿开 你知道这是违禁的 我擦嘞啊
Gerald, get your hands off the tits. You know that's not allowed. For goodness sake.
你不会觉得这样显老却反而显得你更有故事了
You don't feel older, but those grey hairs tell a different story.
可是对你来说可能有点晚了 所以说对你儿子却不会晚
Well, it's too late for you, but maybe it's not too late for your kids.
Exla2000 是一场新革命 它能让胡子赢在起跑线上
Exla 2000 is a revolutionary new beard dye that starts to work before it's needed.
很简单 只需要给你儿子的脸上打一针 然后就不用管了
Simply inject it into your son 's face and get on with your life.
四十年之后疼痛就会消失了 但是胡子也长出来了 它是怎样运作的呢
40 years later the pain has faded, but just look at that beard. But how does it work?
注入Exla 2000以后 它就会和你儿子的胡子在分子水平上结合
After Exla 2000 is applied, it combines with your son 's beard at a molecular level.
当它开始长出来的时候 已经是反应过后的了
When it appears, it's already been treated.
这就像是给你的下巴进行了专业的护理
It's like having a personal beard-care expert in your chin.
Exla 2000 为下一代制♥造♥更自然的络腮胡
Exla 2000. Natural beard colour for the next generation.
丝般感受 纵享丝滑
Available in silk or matte finish.
金发美女也将上架
Also available in Future Blonde.
-别全都吃了 -我忍♥不住嘛
- Don't eat all the Twiglets. - I can't help it.
你真的把土豆放进去了？
You have put the potatoes on? Sure?
应该是他们来了
Oh, that'll be them.
-你好 -抱歉 你好
- Hello! - Sorry! Hi!
-我都有点着急了 -我知道 堵车嘛
- Go through. I was getting nervous! - I know. A lot of traffic.
-开车开了太久了 我们都迟到了 -亲爱的 快进来
- Bit of a long drive. Sorry we're so late. - Oh, dear. Come in.
-你好 Bill -你好
- Hello, Bill. - Hi.
-见到你真好 你介意我那个 -不介意 快去吧
- Good to see you. Do you mind if I...? - No. Straight through.
-你真的不介意吗 -这有啥介意的
- You sure you don't mind? - No, not at all.
整整开了四个小时的车 他这么饥渴真是一点也不稀奇啊
Four hours in the car. Not surprised he's dying for it.
其实 我想要这个 我可以 我可以自己拿吗
Actually, I would love one of those. Do you mind if I... Shall I help myself?
-你先坐 我帮你拿 -谢谢Bill
- You stay there. I'll get you one of those. - Oh, thanks, Bill.
给你一个雪莉酒 这个是我的
There you are, one sherry for you. That's mine.
-太尼玛爽了 -哔哔哔
- Oh, dear, goodness me. - Phew!
喔
Wow.
谢谢你 真是太爽了 Bill 太感谢你了
Thank you. Cheers, Bill, that is so sweet of you.
真不知道还有谁能让他媳妇和朋友啪啪啪了
I don't think I know anyone that would have let their friend have sex with their wife
在他们饥渴难耐的时候
just cos they were a bit desperate.
我本来应该是和Sarah 但是你懂的我都来这了
I would have done it with Sarah, but I thought, cos I'm here...
为啥不和Emma做呢
why not do it with Emma?
额 我还以为你
Um, I thought...
说实话 我刚才以为你只是想要上厕所
To be honest, I thought you meant you just wanted to go to the toilet.
我
I...
我的确是想说我想去厕所
I did mean that I wanted to go to the toilet,
但是除了那个我还想啪啪啪 你懂的 所以说我还以为你
but I wanted to have sex more than that, you know? So, I thought you...
你以为我是什么意思呢
What did you think I meant?
我以为你的意思是想要啪啪啪
Well, I presumed you meant you wanted to have sex.
所以我和你啪啪啪了啊
That's why I had sex with you.
我也以为你是要啪啪啪
I presumed you meant sex.
噢
Ooh.
要是和Sarah啪啪啪的话能让你好点的话 那你可以和她
If it makes you feel any better, then have sex with Sarah.
额
Um...
-Sarah你行吗 -我没问题
- How do you feel about that, Sarah? - Yeah. Not a problem.
别别别 还是别了
No... No, I don't think... No.
现在有点小尴尬 咱俩应该先走了吧
Well, this is a bit awkward, isn't it? Maybe we should go.
不是 你懂的 只是有点惊讶
No. You know... No. I'm just a bit... bit surprised.
我知道了 你可以和我们三个人都滚床单啊
Look, I know. Why don't you have sex with all three of us?
-行啊 -好呀
- Yeah. - Yeah.
别 那样就有点乱搞了
Well, no, then that would be an orgy and I'm really...
说实话我还以为只是要吃一顿美美的晚餐
To be honest, I was just looking forward to a nice quiet dinner.
那不会是乱搞啊 我们只是轮流啪啪啪
It wouldn't be an orgy because we'd have sex with each other in turn,
所以说那不会是我们大家一起啪啪啪的
it wouldn't be like we were all having sex at the same time.
Daniel真是大方 他都不是同性恋都可以和你啪啪啪
Daniel's being really generous. He's not even gay and he's offering to have sex with you.
我不介意的 我真的不介意的
It doesn't bother me. It doesn't bother me at all.
你觉得呢
What do you say?
那个 我
Well, I...
只要有人给我口♥交♥的话 我也行
Well, maybe. As long as I get a blow job.
我觉得咱们应该走了
I think we're gonna go.
真抱歉
I'm sorry.
-真是抱歉 -不不不 是我该道歉的 但是
- I'm sorry. - No, I'm sorry. But, you know...
-明早再和你说吧 -是的 这不是你的错
-I'll speak to you in the morning? - Yeah. It's not your fault.
我知道 不过还是很对不起
I know. I'm sorry.
-拜拜 -我真是太震惊了
- Bye. - I'm shocked.
想要改变你的心
# To make you change your mind
浪子心声
"Streets of London"!
-来一首浪子心声 -是的 我刚唱完
- "Streets of London"! - Yes. I've just... done it.