笑料一火车（1998）

There's no more bog roll.
快点 David 把你的蛋吃了
Come on,David. Finish your egg.
但它做的实在太硬了 叉子捅不进去
But it's too hard. The soldiers won't go in.
-用你的匙吃 你个小傻冒 -谁是小傻帽啊 电报 宝贝
- Use your spoon,you silly sausage. - Who's a silly sausage? Telegram,darling.
-管管这两个小家伙 -我可什么也没干啊
- Take your pick with these two. - What have I done?
你前菜的腌鱼还没吃完呢 小姐
You haven't finished your kipper for a start,young Lady.
John 什么事
John? What is it?
-到底发生了什么事情 -没什么 没什么
- What on earth's happened? - Nothing. Nothing.
是关于 Billie 的事 对吗
It's about Billie,isn't it?
是的 是和她有点关系
Yes. Yes,it is.
我们很遗憾地通知您 Billie跌出了歌♥曲排行榜前二十 句号♥
'Regret to inform you Billie no Ionger in top twenty. Stop.'
Billie 的竞争对手Christina Aguilera（美国大牌女歌♥手）登顶冠军 句号♥
'Billie archrival Christina Aguilera set at number one. Stop.'
来自Billie Piper（英国流行歌♥手） 粉丝会
It's from the Billie Piper fan club.
David 把你妹妹领花♥园♥里去
David,take your sister into the garden.
来吧 Debs 我们去荡荡秋千什么的
Come along,Debs.We can play on the swing.
听着 John 它还停留过前十位呢 我知道你是挺期待这首单曲的
Listen,John. It still went top ten.I know you had high hopes for the single...
别说了
No.
亲爱的 我 我知道你曾试着去改变这一切 但没用的
Darling,I... I know what you're trying to do,but it's no use.
总是这样 一首歌♥在第七名待一周 下周马上就跌出去了
It's always the same. They go in at number seven one week,they're out the next.
Whigfield Debbie Gibson Adam Rickitt（欧美流行歌♥手）的歌♥ 都是这样
It was the same with Whigfield,Debbie Gibson,Adam Rickitt.
回榜歌♥曲也最能只能做到 Brother Beyond 和 Big Fun（皆为英国男子流行音乐组合)那样
One could go back as far as Brother Beyond and Big Fun.
很快 唱片公♥司♥就要抛弃她了
It won't be Iong before the record company drops her.
不会的 宝贝儿 即使Billie 的歌♥唱事业毁了 她还是嫁给了Chris Evans（英国流行音乐制♥作♥人） 嘛
Don't,darling. Even if it is over for Billie,she's still married to Chris Evans.
她不会沦落到像Sonia 那样去做帽子的
She won't have to make hats Iike Sonia.
亲爱的 你还是不懂 这才是最糟糕的
Oh,darling,don't you see? That's the worst of it.
她还是会生活在聚光灯下 会出现在首映式典礼上勾住Chris 的胳膊什么的
She'II still be in the Iimelight,clinging to his arm at premieres and so on.
不过 她蹦跶不了多久了
Creatively,she'II be finished.
-又得像Patsy Kensit（英国女演员）那样了 -但是Patsy Kensit 偶尔还是演演电影的
- It's Iike Patsy Kensit all over again. - But even Patsy makes the occasional film.
真的吗 真的吗
Does she? Does she really?
亲爱的 我觉得你应该休息一下 好好躺一阵子
Look,darling. Why don't you go and have a Iie down?
我会打电♥话♥给银行 帮你告假 就说你身体欠佳
I'II call the bank and tell them you're not feeling too well.
你还可以尽情听听Billie的首张专辑嘛
You could always Iisten to Billie's first album.
好
Yes.
宝贝儿 事情在你被一说之后 总让人感觉迎刃而解了呢
Yes,things always seem much brighter after you've heard...
对不起 我不会讲♥法♥语
I'm so sorry,I'm afraid I don't speak French.
-哦 对不起 -不好意思
- Oh,sorry. - Excuse me.
你好 呃 打扰了
Hello. Um,excuse me...
服务生总是注意不到我 真有意思哈 他们呢 总是这样 是不是
He always ignores me.Funny,these dos,aren't they?
是啊 他们总是目中无人 但是 来聚会的人都还是挺不错的
Yeah,they are a bit funny.The people are nice,though.
-特别是女士们啊 都是好人 -那就是...
- Specially the Iadies. - That's what...
我的天 这帮家伙就是舞会上不喝酒的榆木脑袋 对不对
Jesus,these muppets aren't exactly on the ball with the drinks,are they?
-你好 我是... -你刚才听到刚才那番讲话了吗
- Hello,I'm... - Did you hear that speech?
-他 呃 他就在你身后 -啥
- He's... He's behind you. - What?
-他就在你身后 -管他在不在我后面 真是太没劲了
- He's behind you. - Don't care if he's behind me. It was boring.
一直嘚吧嘚的 要是让我讲话 我就直奔主题
Yattering on and on. At Ieast when I make a speech,we get to the point.
嘿 给我站起来 要么开口 要么闭嘴 明白不
Hey,stand up,speak up or shut up,hey?
-你好 -哦 你好
- Hello. - Oh,hi.
你要不要和我们一起聊聊
I wondered if you'd Iike to join us.
-谢谢 看起来越来越热络了哈 -我也不知道 我不是...
- Thanks. Seem to get busier and busier. - I don't really know,I'm not...
-不好意思 你们在讨论什么呢 -哈 “我在说什么”
- Excuse me,what were you saying? - What was I saying?
我们一会儿想要去个狂欢趴 你要一起来吗
We were just talking about an orgy we might have Iater. Wonder if you'd fancy joining in?
我也不知道到底能不能去 行啊
I didn't know it was going to be one of those nights. AII right.
一会儿一定挺有意思的 我们订的八点半的按♥摩♥浴缸 还有泡泡浴哦
That'll be good then. We've got the jacuzzi booked for 8.30,a little bit of sparkling...
-真像啊 -画得怎么样
- He's really got you. - What's it like?
-就像你真人似的 -你念的是艺术学校吗 Rob
- Looks Iike you. - Did you go to art school,Rob?
没念过 但是你知道 我总是很喜欢画画的
No. I've always Iiked drawing,but,you know.
-好啦 完成了 -让我看看
- Right,it's finished. - Let's have a Iook.
-真不赖啊 我能留着吗 -能啊 当然能
- It's great. Can I keep it? - Yeah,sure.
-老板 老板 老板来了 -早上好啊 各位
- Boss,boss,boss. - Morning,all.
-怎么样 Rob 一切都好吗 -挺好
- Settling in,Rob? Everything all right? - Yes.
-你能帮我播个Brian Stafford（爱尔兰盖尔式足球运动员）的比赛吗 -好啊
- Could you get me Brian Stafford? - Yes.
Rob 是个小漫画家 他刚画了个Jeremy 的漫画像
Rob's a cartoonist. He's done one of Jeremy.
是啊 这儿呢
Yeah,Iook.
你应该给咱老板Paul画一个
You should do one of Paul.
-来嘛 不会花你太久时间的 -好吧
- Go on. It won't take Iong. - AII right.
但是 不要因为我是老板就故意把我画的太帅哦
But don't try and flatter me just cos I'm boss.
好吧
AII right.
你画画的诀窍是什么 Rob
What's the secret,then,Rob?
嗯 就是 你得试着去抓住一个人的精髓
Um... well,you've just got to try and get the essence of the person.
越简单明了越好
Just as simply as possible.
画好了
That's sort of it.
大肥傻屌♥
你还好吗 哥们儿 嘿 嘿 嘿 你还好吧
AII right,mate? Hey,hey,hey. You OK?
怎么了 你和妈妈走散了吗
What's up,then? You Iost your mum?
就是现在 现在 快点儿
Now,now! Hurry!
-抓住他胳膊 -钳住他的腿
- Grab his arms. - Get his Iegs.
把他弄笼子里去
Take him to the caves.
唉 天啊 他可真沉
Oh,my Christ,he's heavy.
-又一个战利品 -好诶！
- Another one to our collection. - Yeah.
-我这是在哪 -醒了？
- Oh,where am I? - You awake?
-我叫Toby 这位是Tasha -你好
- I'm Toby,and this is Tasha. - Hi.
那是...那个男孩 他给我下的套
That... that boy. He trapped me.
在公园里吗？这也是为什么我们也在这里
In the park? Yeah,that's how we ended up here.
我们在这里两年了
We've been here two years now.
两年？
Two years?
-我们得从这儿出去 -嗯哼 但是 问题是怎么出去
- We've got to get out of here. - Well,yeah,but how?
他们就是一群小孩子 咱们抓住一个带着钥匙的 把他敲昏 直到拿到钥匙为止
They're kids. We grab the one with the key and knock him about till he gives us it.
-打孩子？ -是啊
- Hit a child? - Yes.
天知道他们是怎么对我的腿的 他们都把你们关这么多年了
Christ knows what they've done to my leg.They've Iocked you up for years.
-踢他一脚是应该的 -你肯定没有孩子
- A kicking's in order. - You obviously haven't got kids.
我绝对不会打一个孩子
I could never hit a child.
脑子有病
Sod this.
-Toby 做点什么 -想看色情杂♥志♥吗？
- Toby,do something. - Want to see a porn mag?
-是的 太棒了 哦！你弄疼我了 -给我钥匙
- Yeah,brilliant. Ow! You're hurting me. - Gimme that key.
好了 一起来吗
Right. You coming?
我们觉得你给下一代做了个糟糕透了的榜样
We think you're setting an appalling example to the next generation.
-哦 真的吗？ 好吧 脑残 -你去哪？
- Oh,really? Well,sod you. - Where you going?
我认为我们根本无法理解彼此
I see we do not understand each other after all.
鉴于这个男人的报复性行为 你们中十分之一的人会被拖出去枪毙
As a reprisal for this man's action,every tenth one of you will be taken out and shooted.
事实上 Josh 那是拖出去枪毙
Actually,Josh,it's "taken out and shot".
别纠正他 Toby 你会扼杀他的天性
Don't correct him,Toby. You'II stifle him.
警♥察♥引起了这场暴♥动♥ 他们带着手电来到这
The police cause the riots.They come here with their lights,
冲出车子然后开始混战
get out the cars and start fighting.
（另一个男人）如果他们不管我们的话 那么什么都不会发生
(boy #2) If they leave us alone,nothing will happen.
只是因为我们 喜欢 穿的戏剧化一点 你懂的 更抢眼
Just cos we,Iike,might dress a Iittle bit,you know,brighter,
并不代表 并不代表我们与你们不同 与你们其中的任何一个不同
doesn't mean that we're different to you,or anyone else.
如果我想出门去买♥♥一品脱牛奶 我就应该被允许 而不是被阻拦
If I want to go out and get a pint of milk,I should be allowed,without getting stopped.
这属于偏见 因为他们与众不同
It is prejudice,because they're different.
人们总是想尝试去模仿他们 这是人类本性中令人感到悲哀的一面
People are always going to have a go at them.It's a very sad side of human nature.
他们确实收到了一大堆恐吓信 其中一些非常令人讨厌
They do get a Iot of hate mail,and some of it is very unsavoury.
这是从周一的信箱里取出来的
This came through the Ietterbox on Monday.
正如你所见 这是一张明信片
And as you can see,it's a postcard.
而且原始的明信片上写着 '来参观伦敦塔吧'
And originally it just says,"Come to the Tower of London".
但是某些人 而且我们应该知道是谁了
But somebody,and we think we know who,
有人匿名写了'不要'在下面
who'II remain nameless,has written "don't" underneath.
所以就变成了'不要来参观伦敦塔'
So that is,"Don't come to the Tower of London".
我的意思是 这是非常不好的
I mean,it's filth.
-特别像是...-谁会做这种事情？
- Specially as...- Who would do that?
我不会用这种字眼 但是别在自己家门口便便
I wouldn't use the S-word,but don't poo on your own doorstep.
你应该知道的 如果你已经在自己家门前便便了 那就不要到别人家那再便便了
You know,you've already pooed on your own doorstep,don't go and poo on other people's.
-死亡威胁...-你会被钉在一个大长钉上
- Death threats...- "You'II be impaled on a spike."
-就是这样 -太可怕了
- Yes. - Horrible.
'苏格兰女王玛丽 安妮博林 你就是下一个'
"Mary,Queen of Scots,Anne Boleyn,you'II be next."
这句话被写在一把小斧子和砧板上被送过来的
That was written on a small axe and block that came through.
他们还以为是一只死的大乌鸦被塞到信箱里了呢
What they thought was a dead raven came through the Ietterbox.
事实上那是一只乌鸦
It was actually a crow.
一些大乌鸦的粪便 或者乌鸦的粪便
Some raven's muck,or crow's muck.
一些素食主义者的汉堡
Some vegetarian burgers.
两个选手最近都展示了不错的状态
Both fighters have been showing great form lately.
很明显 我们都对OIiver能来到伦敦比赛感到高兴
Obviousluy,we're delighted OIiver's come to Britain to fight.
-Dave？ -是的
- Dave? - Yeah.