笑料一火车（1998）

我怎么知道
How would I know.
我告诉你们 她特别有意思 她还知道好多有意思的事
I'II tell you what, she is such a Iaugh.She knows some great stories as well, so...
等一下 让我用头发把奶♥子♥盖上我就跟你们走
Hang on. Let me get my hair over my tits and I'm all yours.
管好你的手 你个猥琐的家伙 就像一个黏糊糊的八爪鱼
Hands! You dirty bugger,you’re Iike a bloody octopus!
我告诉过你 跟以往的一样糟 如果有什么区别的话 就是更糟
I told you. Just Iike all the others.Worse, if anything.
我觉得她挺好的
I think she's really nice.
-不 你没有 -我有
- No, you don't. - I do.
嘿 快点靠边停车 我要去嗨一下
Oi! Pull over there, will ya I want to get my tabs.
-最好来包避孕套 -是啊 特大包
- Better get some johnnies as well. - Yeah, jumbo pack.
好了 你们怎么看
Well What do you think.
Keith 她非常 非常可爱
Keith, she's really, really Iovely.
-你也这么想吗 -你干得好
- Do you think so - You've done very well.
谢了 哥们
Thanks, mate.
好了 这件事的结局是 嗯
Right. And the final part of the story is, right...
她非常苦逼的一周都没能坐下
she couldn't sit down for a fucking week!
-我要去一下洗手间 -哦 亲爱的 你姨妈期到了
- I'm just going to go to the loo. - Oh, Iove, are you on the blob.
-我也要去 我会想你的 -嘿 等一下 我知道一会儿会发生什么
- I'II go too. Missing you. - Oh, hang on. I know what's going on here.
你个婊♥子♥把脏手拿开 他是我的
You keep your filthy hands off him,you bitch. He's mine.
-Matt 你能叫辆车吗 -好的
- Could you ring for a taxi, Matt - Yeah.
-我好想你啊 -我也是
- I miss you so much.- Me too.
你怎么看
What do you think.
我得找个检测员去看看
I'II probably get the surveyor in to have a Iook at it.
嗯 它很不错 雨季也能保持温度
Well, it's very good,cause it keeps the heat in in the rainy season.
是的
Yes.
-我收下它了 -太好了 非常好
- I'II take it. - Great, great.
你已经全都看了当然知道哪个好
You've got all that over there to Iook at, which is nice.
打扰一下女士 你有兴趣参加一下我们的个性测试吗
Excuse me, madam. Would you be interested in taking our personality test.
打扰一下女士 你有兴趣参加一下我们的个性测试吗
Excuse me, madam. Are you interested in taking our personality test.
打扰一下先生 你有兴趣参加一下我们的个性测试吗
Excuse me, sir. Would you be interested in taking our personality test.
-个性测试 -是的 很简单 时间不长
- Personality test. - Yes, it's very simple. It won't take Iong.
只是为了帮助你去了解更多关于你自己和这个世界
It just helps you to understand yourself and the world a bit more.
这不是有关于宗教的吧 你们这摆的这些书
It's not religious, is it You've got all these books...
如果你对我们的东西感兴趣 那就更好了
If you're interested in what we offer,that's great,
不过没有 您当然没有任何责任
but otherwise, absolutely no obligation.
好吧 我还得等会火车 所以我做一下吧
Well, I'm going to be waiting around for my train, so I might as well.
那太好了 先生请进 只会占用您的一点时间 谢谢
That's great. Come inside, please, sir.I'II only take a few seconds. Thank you.
请您坐在这里并把这个填上 这里有笔
If you'd Iike to take a seat here, sir,and fill this in. Pencil there.
等您完成了告诉我就可以了
And just tell me when you've finished.
好的
Right.
完成了
Finished.
我今天能拿到结果吗
Do I get the results today.
太惊人了
It's extraordinary.
-你能等一下吗 -我得赶火车了
- Could you wait just a moment- I've got to catch my train.
就一下 我会很快的
Just one moment. I'II be very quick.
好 但是
Yeah, but...
呃 先生 你能跟我来一趟吗
Erm... Could you follow me, please, sir.
-我不能 -不会很久的先生 拜托
- I can't... - It won't take Iong, sir. PIease.
-只要不会太久 -不会的 谢谢您先生
- As Iong as it won't. - No. Thank you, sir.
-这事会很久吗 我要赶火车 -请耐心点 先生
- Will this take Iong. I've a train to catch.- Just bear with me, sir.
先生 我们到了
Here we are, sir.
我们的寻觅已经结束了
Our quest is over.
他就是被选中之人
He is the one!
对不起 虽然他是选中的人 但是 呃
Sorry. Thought it was him, but, er...
别这么想 别
Don't think so, no.
伞兵们 就是这个了
Paratroopers, this is it.
你们就是为此训练至今的 你们就是为了今天而等待
This is what you've trained for.It's the day you've waited for.
飞机只有一个出口 就是这道门
There is now one single exit from this plane, and that is that door there.
Smith 你是第一个 走吧
Smith, you're first. Let's go!
-你说的是Phillips吗 -什么
- Don't you mean Phillips - What
-Phillips第一个走成吗 -你说什么
- Can Phillips go first - Excuse me
我想在Phillips后面走 能让Phillips第一个走吗
I'd Iike to go after Phillips.Can Phillips go first.
你在逗乐呢吧 现在你就跳出去 你是头一个
Are you having a Iaugh You go out of this plane now. You're first up.
-我现在不想去 -你什么意思 你不想去
- Don't want to go now.- What do you mean, you don't want to.
我才不管你愿不愿意 你个混♥蛋♥ 过来
I don't care if you don't Iike it, you Iittle shit!Come here!
-不 好冷 -好吧 好吧
- No! It's cold. - AII right, all right.
哦 谢谢 啊
Oh, thanks... Agh!
欠虐玩意
Stupid Iittle man!
出去
Get out!
-走你 -你干什么
- Go! - What are you doing.
噢
Ow!
噢
Oi!
好了 Richard 你看看我弄没弄明白你的意思
Right, Richard. Let's see if I've got this right.
自从一个匿名的警告后
After an anonymous tip-off,
你确信从去年开始
you've become convinced that in the Iast year
上层已经把部分员工抹杀了
senior management have been murdering members of staff...
是的
Yes.
并用长得一模一样的精密的机器人代替了
..and replacing them with sophisticated robot Iook alikes...
是的
Yes.
是为了插工会的空子不付他们工资
.. in order to avoid paying their wages without antagonising the unions.
我知道这听起来很疯狂 但是 真的
I know it sounds crazy, but yes.
Richard 过来
Richard... come here.
那么 他们看起来像机器人吗
Well, do they Iook Iike robots.
嗯 他们看起来不像机器人
Well, they don't Iook Iike robots...
-让我们把问题交给他们吧 -别别别别
- Let's put it to them. - No, no, no, no.
打扰一下伙计们
Excuse me, guys.
能占用你们一点精力吗
Can I just have your attention for a second.
我只想知道如果Richard说你们是机器人
I was just wondering what your reaction would be
你们会是什么反应
if I told you that Richard here thinks that you might be robots.
哈 哈 哈
Ha ha ha.
那么 你们是机器人吗
Well, are you robots
不 我们不是机器人
No. We are not robots.
如我所料 好了非常感谢 回去工作吧
Thought so. OK, thank you very much.Back to work.
我不知道该说什么 你知道 我现在好尴尬啊
I don't know what to say, you know...I feel quite embarrassed.
Richard 你还好吗
Richard, are you all right.
啊
Yeah.
-家里一切正常吗 -是啊 没问题
- Everything all right at home - Yeah, it's not bad.
-我最好回去工作了 -好的
- Better get on with my work. - OK.
所以这是你在监狱里写的
So you wrote it in jail.
他是写了好多关于这个的 我觉得很不错
He did put a Iot into it.I think it's excellent.
你为什么被关进监狱里
Why were you in jail.
不是什么穷凶恶极的事 就是 打碎了几扇窗户
It wasn't anything serious.It was just... broke a few windows.
-这难道不是件大事吗 -书叫什么名字来着
- It's a big one, isn't it - What was it called again.
Mein Kampf 什么意思 是不是写错字应该是 我的营地
Mein Kampf. What does that meanIs it‘My Camp’.
-不 是 我的挣扎 -好吧
- No, it's‘My Struggle’ - Right.
你怎么看
What do you think
我不得不说 不是很有政♥治♥倾向
I have to say, it's not very PC, is it.
他讨厌那玩意
He hates that stuff.
我觉得 认真的说 其实这里面挺多合我心意的
I thought... Seriously,there's Iots in it I Iiked,
但我必须说 其中一些接近种族主义了
but some of it, I would have to say,is borderline racist.
-是啊 我也这么看 -我希望我能更乐观的看这个问题
- Yeah. Me too. - I wish I could be more positive.
如果我们就原封不动的出版了 我们会惹很大♥麻♥烦的
It's just that if we put it out as is,we'd get into a Iot of trouble.
是啊
Yeah.
我们能
Can we...
我们能做两个版本吗 一个种族主义的 一个非种族主义的
Can we do two versions - a racist version and then a non-racist version.
你怎么想的 Adolf
How would you feel about that, Adolf.
你不喜欢那样
You wouldn't be happy with that.
我觉得他喜欢种族主义版呃 从个人来讲 我认为这不是种族主义
I think he Iikes the racist version.Personally, I don't think it is racist.
-呃 -我们倒是想买♥♥下它 但是 呃
- Erm... - We'd Iove to take it, but, er...
-它不适合我们 -这不是我们的风格
- It's just not really our thing. - It's not really our style.
感谢你们的到来 祝您一切顺利
Thank you very much for coming in and all the best.
非常感谢
Thank you very much.
非常感谢
Thank you very much.
很高兴见到你 Adolf 你在那写什么呢
(woman) Very nice to meet you, Adolf. What"s that you"re doing there.
他在他的小黑名册上写你的名字
He"s writing your names in his Iittle black book.
我真希望他不会对我们怀恨在心
I do hope he"s not going to hold a grudge against us.
很高兴见到你 我相信你一定会找到一个出版商
Very nice to meet you.I"m sure you"II find a publisher.
拜
Bye.
劳驾
Excuse me.
打扰了 来
Excuse me. Come on.
就这儿了 Sean 坐这儿
There you are, Sean. Sit there.