驯鹿宝贝（2024）

Here you are. - Oh. Thank you.
听着 玛莎
Listen, Martha.
你能不能答应我 别跟酒吧里的人说
Can you promise me you won't tell anyone at the pub
我网上那些视频的事?
about those online videos?
别闹了 你该感到自豪才对
Stop it! You should be proud.
你在追逐自己的梦想
You're chasing your dreams.
对 不 我明白 只是...
Yeah, no, I get that. It's just...
只是什么?
What is it?
我这辈子都梦想着成为谐星 只是我...
I spent my life dreaming of becoming a comedian. I just...
我没想到这条路这么难走
I didn't realize it was gonna be so fucking hard.
宝剑锋从磨砺出 不是吗?
Hardness can be good though, too, no?
对 我知道 只是...
Yeah, I know. It's just...
我...我以前总认为 追逐梦想终将收获快乐 但是...
I, like... I used to think my dreams would lead to happiness, but...
现在我感觉这二者并不可兼得
now it almost feels like this choice between the two.
有人伤害了你 对吧?
Somebody hurt you, didn't they?
我能看出来
I can tell.
你就像一位战士
You're like a warrior
铠甲上裂开了一道口子
with a chink in the armor.
像是某种伤痕
Like a wounding of some kind.
那是个女人吗?
Was it a woman?
你失恋了?
A heartbreak?
不 我没事
No, I'm fine.
战士就是这么嘴硬
That's what a warrior would say.
但我看得出来 你的心在流血
But I can see you're bleeding.
你被伤得很深
Deep wounds.
是谁伤害了你?
Who was it?
玛莎 你能放开我的手吗?
Martha, can you let go of my hand now, please?
- 告诉我她的名字 - 玛莎 拜托
- I want names. Martha, please.
名字
Names.
- 玛莎 请你放手 - 名字
- Martha, please. Names.
- 玛莎 求你了 放手 - 你竟敢如此放肆
Martha, please, let go! - Don't! Don't you dare!
一切还好吗?
Is everything all right here?
是的 我们没事
yeah, we're fine.
真的没事
We're... we're fine. Honest.
你们还想要些什么吗?
Can I get you guys anything else, or...
我想买♥♥单
Just the bill.
- 你走哪条路? - 这边
- What way are you walking? - Uh, this way.
我走这边
I'm this way.
谢谢你请我吃布朗尼
Thanks for the brownie.
我知道她不是身家百万的律师
I knew she wasn't a millionaire lawyer,
但她那番疯狂的举动 令我隐隐有些不安
but seeing her madness play out like that left me with this sense of unease.
这女人是谁 她究竟看上了我什么?
Who was this woman, and what did she see in me?
见鬼 可恶
Fuck! Shit!
驯鹿宝贝 我发现你在偷看了 小偷♥窥♥狂
从我的iPhone发送
有时我会怀疑 如果那天没有跟踪她
I sometimes question what would have happened had I not followed her,
而是直接回家
just turned around and went home.
这场噩梦会不会早就结束了
Whether that is where this whole ordeal might have ended.
也许内心深处 我想被发现
Maybe some part of me wanted to get caught.
也许内心深处 我想看事情会发展成什么样
Maybe some part of me wanted to see where it all might take me.
好的 各位 到目前为止 本场比赛真是精彩纷呈
Okay, guys, it's been a fantastic competition so far.
诸多表演者竞相角逐半决赛的席位
Loads of acts vying for a place in the semifinals.
希望大家保持这份活力 有请下一位表演者
Keep that energy up, and please welcome to the stage,
唐尼·邓恩登场
your next act, Donny Dunn!
好的 好了 请容我先把箱子放下 很快就好
Okay! Good. All right, let me just quickly chuck this down.
做好演出的准备
Ooh. Set up the gig.
拉开这旧行李箱的拉链
Just unzip the old bagarooney.
好的 搞定
Okay, good. Woo!
好了
All right. Ooh.
砰 对 好的 好
Bang! Yes. All right. Cool.
这真是...
That's...
我知道你们在想什么
Now, I know what you're thinking.
男版维纳斯·威廉姆斯放飞自我了
Venus Williams has let herself go.
抱歉 天啊 我说错名字了 抱歉 这是我新想出来的笑料
Oh, sorry. God, no. I said the wrong name. Sorry, it's new material.
容我拿笔记本看看 然后我...
I'll just grab my notebook out, and I'll...
我再重说一遍 好的 那就...找到了
I'll do it again. Okay, let's just... Here it is. Ha.
我知道你们在想什么
So I know what you're thinking.
男版塞雷娜·威廉姆斯放飞自我了
Serena Williams has let herself go.
好吧 这不好笑 那我们换个话题
Okay, cool. That didn't work. Let's move on.
有一位笑了 希望你的快乐能感染在座的其他人
Uh, one laugh. If you could move around the room, that'd be great.
真是去哪都不能带上我妈呀
Jesus, can't take my mum anywhere, eh?
你叫什么名字?
What's your name?
玛莎
Martha.
你好 玛莎 你把宇宙飞船停在外面了吗?
Hello, Martha. Is your spaceship parked outside?
对 在外面
Yeah, outside.
想兜兜风 跟我回我的母星吗?
Want to go for a ride back to my home planet?
你的母星? 那个星球上的人会觉得我搞笑吗?
Your home planet? A planet where people find me funnier?
我要去
I'm sold!
你的母星在哪里?
And where is your home planet?
贝尔塞斯公园
Belsize Park.
那我很好奇 你说的宇宙飞船是指...
and so, out of interest, when you say your spaceship, you mean...
一辆菲亚特鹏托
A Fiat Punto.
很精彩 女士们先生们 这个梗真是绝了
Brilliant. Ladies and gentlemen, it ain't gonna get much better than that.
天啊
Jesus, Jesus.
拜托 好吧 那...
Come on. All right, so, you know--
我会唱歌♥ 知道吗?
I can sing, you know?
大家不是来这儿听歌♥的 所以...
Oh, well, people haven't come here for singing, so...
让她唱
let her sing!
- 来吧 让她唱 - 不行
Go on! Let her sing! No.
拜托 让她唱几句
Come on, let her sing! Let her sing!
好吧 行 真是被你们打败了
Okay, fine, sod it. Go on, then.
那你唱吧
Wahey! Whoo!
♪ 我知道要排队等待 直到你认为有时间 ♪
♪ I know I stand in line Until you think you have the time ♪
♪ 陪我共度一晚 ♪
♪ To spend an evening with me... ♪
南茜·辛纳特拉 你怎么跑这儿来了?
Nancy Sinatra, what the hell are you doing here?
♪ 哪怕你我去某处跳舞 我也知道有可能 ♪
♪ And if we go someplace to dance I know that there's a chance ♪
♪ 你会独自离去 ♪
♪ You won't be leaving with me ♪
你会唱活结乐队的歌♥吗?
Do you know any Slipknot?
我也想让你多唱会儿 但恐怕你会盖过我的风头
I would let you sing more, but can't handle you upstaging me.
请大家给玛莎一点掌声 对
A round of applause for Martha, everyone. Yes!
太棒了
Ha-ha! Brilliant.
好极了 很好
Absolutely brilliant. Cool.
其实我一直觉得那首歌♥很奇怪
I've always thought that song was really weird, actually.
他们可能真会说出一些很蠢的话
They could have said something really stupid like,
"然后我把气氛全搞砸了 我说了这样的傻话
"Then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like,
'世人误解了希♥特♥勒♥'"
'Hitler was misunderstood.'"
我最近改吃素了
So I went vegan recently.
不得不做出些牺牲
Had to make some sacrifices.
因为我交了新女友 她可是货真价实的弹簧鸡 拜托!
Met a new girlfriend. She's a real spring chicken. Come on!
她嘴上功夫可好了 糟糕 头掉了
Yep, gives great head. Oh no, no, no, no, no.
好啊 我们都进入状态了
Good. We're rocking and rolling. Good, good.
你戴那顶水貂帽时 不知未何 我敢觉你在发光
从我的iPhone发送
你戴那顶水貂帽时 不知未何 我敢觉你在发光
见鬼
Fucking hell.
你是怎么做到的?
How'd you do that?
- 什么? - 忽然出现
- What? - Just appear.
你就像...忍♥者猫一样
You're like... Ninja Cat.
你今晚的段子很搞笑 赢得当之无愧
That was fun stuff tonight. You deserved your win.
比网上那破视频好多了
Better than that shit online.
那就谢谢夸奖了
Thanks, I think.
你那些道具和小玩意什么的
All the props and the gadgets and stuff.
太好玩了 驯鹿宝贝
So funny, reindeer.
你是天生的喜剧人 不是吗?
You have it in your bones, this comedy lark, don't you?
谢谢
Thank you.
噢 别谢我
Oh, don't thank me.
你该感谢自己
Thank yourself.
感谢你的天赋
Thank your bones.
听着
Look.
关于昨天我在你家外面的事
About yesterday, when I was outside.
对不起 我不该跟踪你的
I shouldn't have followed you. I was--
噢 别傻了
Oh, no, don't be silly.
我才不会气你偷看呢
I don't begrudge you a peep.