驯鹿宝贝（2024）

我同情你的处境 但也请配合我们警方的工作
I sympathize with your position, but you must allow us to do our job.
某种意义上 你的行为可以被视为诱人犯罪
In a certain light, this could be seen as entrapment.
但史考特女士并不想对你提出指控
But Ms. Scott does not wish to take any action against you.
你说什么?
I'm sorry?
史考特女士并不想对你提出指控
Ms. Scott does not wish to take any action against you.
指控我?
Against me?
什么鬼? 是她在跟踪我啊
What the hell? She's... she's... she's stalking me.
我建议你道歉
I suggest you apologize
以便警方以适当的方式进行工作
and let us go about doing our job again in the correct manner.
道歉? 对她? 你在跟我开玩笑吗?
Apologize? To her? Are you kidding me?
再说了 我要怎么道歉?
I mean, how would I even apologize?
我们可以替你转达歉意
We can pass along your apologies
然后强烈建议她 从今往后跟你各走各路
and then suggest to her, very strongly, that the two of you part ways.
警方不想再听到你们二人有任何纠葛
The police do not want to hear from either of you again.
你把我和她相提并论?
You're putting us on an even playing field?
所以呢?
Well?
跟她说我很抱歉
Tell her I'm sorry.
警♥察♥杠杠来过了 哈哈
那傻子说已后不想再官我们的事 让我俩各走各路
哈哈哈 想得美 做梦
对了 窝一直都有录音
从我的iPhone发送
我忽然意识到
It suddenly dawned on me
这一切都是玛莎精心设计好的
that Martha knew exactly what she was doing.
如何在纠缠我的同时 逃避法律的制裁
Exactly how to get to me and still evade the law.
因为她已身经百战了
It's because she's been here countless times before.
她是一名惯犯 经验丰富的老手
She was a repeat offender. A seasoned pro.
我的跟踪狂是个经验丰富的老手
My stalker was a seasoned pro.
你怎么会这么蠢 唐尼? 居然想去陷害她?
How could you be so stupid, Donny? Framing her?
- 你在想什么呀? - 确实很蠢
- What the hell were you thinking? - I know. I know.
那女人袭击了我 唐尼
This woman attacked me, Donny.
现在我无论走到哪里都担心会撞见她
Everywhere I go, I'm worried I might bump into her.
而你却跟我说这辈子都甩不掉她了?
Now you're telling me I'm stuck with that for the rest of my life?
不用你说 我跟你一样苦恼 好吧?
You don't need to tell me. I feel the same way.
万一她找到我的推特页面
What if she finds my Twitter, Donny,
像那晚在酒吧时一样 胡说八道怎么办?
and starts spewing crap like she did in the pub that day?
或许你该暂时关闭社交帐号♥
Maybe you could take your socials down for a bit.
是吗 这就是你的建议?
Really? That's your suggestion?
至少删掉 所有跟彩虹族群有关的内容吧
Well, at the very least, get rid of all the rainbow unicorn stuff.
明哲保身
You know, protect yourself.
你是认真的吗? 这就是你的建议? 做个缩头乌龟
Are you serious? That's your recommendation? Hide myself.
如果你担心她大放厥词 就别给她抛诱饵
If you're worried about her opinions, don't give her the bait.
诱饵?
Bait?
拜托 泰瑞 我在努力想办法
Come on, Teri. I'm trying here.
在问题解决之前 稍微低调一点有什么不对?
What's wrong with having to lie low for a bit until this is all sorted?
因为那会剥夺我的灵魂
Because of what it takes from me.
你知道我有多不容易才走出来
Do you understand what it's like to get to a place in my life
展现真实的自己吗?
where I can even walk out the door?
现在你让我再走回去 把自己封闭起来 就因为你捅的篓子
And now I need to walk back in and bolt it shut, all because of you.
是因为我 还是因为某个变♥态♥在跟踪我?
Because of me or because some fucking psycho is stalking me?
因为你听起来像是 把这一切都怪在我头上了
Because just there it sounded like you were blaming me for all this.
她脑子有毛病 唐尼
She's mentally ill, Donny,
而你放任她胡来
and you indulged her.
拜托 亏你说得出口
Oh, please. Only you could make out
一个暴♥力♥跟踪狂正在摧毁我的生活
that having a violent stalker ruining my life
而这竟是我的错?
is somehow my fault.
你真想跟我聊这个话题?
You really wanna go there?
对 我倒真想听听你的高见
Yeah, I actually fucking do.
我认为你乐在其中
I think you love it.
我认为你在生活中 恰恰需要像她那样的人
I think it fits you perfectly having her in your life.
她眼中的你 正是你一心渴望成为的模样
Seeing you as the thing you try so hard to be.
她是你内心阴暗面的化身 是你一直压抑的
She's the embodiment of all your nasty repressions,
邪恶自我的映照
bottled up into one human being.
天啊 泰瑞 拜托
Jesus, Teri, come on.
你不能让她这样影响我们的感情
You can't let her affect us like this.
不是她在影响我们 是你自己
It's not her affecting us. It's you.
我不能再这样下去了
I can't be in this anymore.
我的生活不能这样 没完没了地混乱下去
I can't have this endless disorder in my life.
等一下
Hold on, hold on.
你要跟我分手吗? 就因为她?
Are you breaking up with me because of her?
不 是因为你
No. Because of you.
我知道跟泰瑞的感情结束了
I knew it was over with Teri.
转身离去的那一瞬间 她对我关闭了心门
She shut off her mind towards me the second she turned away.
曲终 人散
Done. Gone.
在跌入低谷的此刻
And now at rock bottom,
我所能找的唯一一丝慰藉
the only positive I could glean from the whole situation
就是情况已经不能变得更糟了
was that it couldn't get any worse from here.
不可能再有比这更糟的局面了
Surely it couldn't get any worse from here.
总有一天偶们会在一起的 小驯鹿 只有你和我
从我的iPhone发送
- 你好 - 你好
- Yes, mate. - Hello.
- 麻烦给我来两杯这里的招牌啤酒 - 好的
- Can I get two pints of house, please? - Yeah, yeah.
不 你不能进来
No, you can't come in here.
- 你不能拦我 - 能 你被酒吧禁入了
- Can't stop me. - You're barred.
狄格西 去把格莱希叫来
Digsy, get Greggsy, will you?
- 他提早下班了 - 为什么?
- He's clocked off early. - Why?
去办点事 他要取货
Air strike, mate. He's picking up.
见鬼 那就去找吉诺
For fuck's sake. Get Gino.
- 也不行 - 为什么?
No can do. - Why?
- 天啊 - 那我就坐在这儿等着吧
- Oh my God. - I guess I'll sit here and wait, then.
不行 休想 我要报♥警♥了
No, you won't. I'll call the police.
报吧 看你能跟他们聊成什么样
Do it. See how far that gets you.
我记得他们说过 不想再管我们俩的事了
I heard they're washing their hands of the both of us.
- 打扰一下 我点的... - 请稍等 好吧?
- Excuse me, mate-- - In a minute, pal, all right?
狄格西 请她出去
Digsy, get her out of here.
- 来吧 女士 - 你♥他♥妈♥的别碰我
- Come on, missy. - Don't you fucking touch me!
你没有权利 没有任何权利碰我
You have no right. No right whatsoever.
现在我来月经了
Now, I'm on my period,
想进来喝杯水 这是我的权利
and I've come in for a glass of water, which is my right to do.
你不能否认一个经期女性 喝水的权力 那是违法的
You cannot deny a woman hydration when she's coming on. That is illegal.
随她去吧
Just fucking leave it, all right?
- 您想要点什么 女士? - 别给她点餐 别理她
- What can I get you, madam? - Don't serve her, you prick. Ignore her.
见鬼 他们从哪儿把你找来的? 天啊
Fuck me. Where did they find you? Jesus.
去把酒水什么的放冰箱去
Go and stock the fridges or something.
- 抱歉... - 对 您要多少来着? 两杯?
I'm sorry... - Yeah. What was it? Two pints?
- 对 - 好的
Yeah. - Okay.
我建议你把那杯子擦干净
I'd wipe that glass clean if I were you.
上面全是阴♥道♥酵母菌
Fucking yeast fingers all over your pint.
你真该瞧瞧 他女朋友那风♥骚♥样儿 荡♥妇♥一个
You should see the woman he's with. His lady friend. Utter skank.
我们这儿都管他叫驼背佬 因为他爱弯着腰在臭水沟里找女人
We call him Hunchy around here 'cause of his gutter taste in women.
他就像那种贪吃松露的猪
He's like one of those hogs,
用他的脏鼻子闻来闻去寻找目标
always sniffling around for truffles with a shitty nose.
松露猪 这是你的新绰号♥
Truffles! That's your new nickname.
十英镑 劳驾
Tenner, please, mate.
- 谢谢 - 对了 他是个搞笑艺人
- Ta. - He's a comedian, by the way.
不太搞笑的那种
Not a very good one.
- 跟你在电视上看的不一样 - 给我们讲个笑话呗
- Not the kind of stuff you see on TV. - Tell us a joke, mate.
不 他不会讲笑话 他只会用道具
No, he doesn't do jokes, this one. It's more props.
贴着塑胶大眼睛的水壶之类的怪玩意
Googly eyes on kettles. Weird crap.
超级幼稚
Very immature.
- 你可以用谷歌♥搜索一下 - 搜什么关键词?
- You should Google it. - What do I Google?
- "垃圾 废物谐星" - "垃圾..."
- "Shite, two-bit comedian." - "Shite--"
不 我开玩笑的 但他实至名归
No, I... I'm joking. I'm joking. That's what it should be under.
试试搜索"唐尼·邓恩喜剧"
Try "Donny Dunn comedy."
"唐尼·邓恩喜剧"
"Donny Dunn comedy."
有了 搜到了
Oh yeah. Here it is.
你们喜欢听短笑话吗? 好啊 去看吉米·卡尔的表演吧
Do you like one-liners? Yeah. Check out Jimmy Carr.
- 天哪 老兄 你这是在搞笑吗? - 我就说吧?
- Jesus, mate. Is that meant to be funny? - I know.
看看这个 好吧? 这边这个 简直是灾难
Watch this one, right? This one here. Lead balloon.
我有个女儿 现在两个月大
I've got a daughter. She's two months old.
我给她取名阿道夫 以此纪念希♥特♥勒♥
Called her Adolf after Adolf Hitler.
开玩笑的啦
I'm joking! I'm joking!
她已经满三个月了
She's three months old.
老兄 你讲笑话时 好像不该照着笔记本念吧?